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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 08 Jan 04 - 09:02 AM
Amos 08 Jan 04 - 10:44 AM
Amos 08 Jan 04 - 11:08 AM
Rapparee 08 Jan 04 - 11:24 AM
Amos 08 Jan 04 - 11:43 AM
GUEST,MMario 08 Jan 04 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 08 Jan 04 - 12:14 PM
Amos 08 Jan 04 - 12:16 PM
Little Hawk 08 Jan 04 - 06:03 PM
Rapparee 08 Jan 04 - 06:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jan 04 - 07:27 PM
Rapparee 08 Jan 04 - 08:28 PM
Tweed 08 Jan 04 - 09:33 PM
Tweed 08 Jan 04 - 09:45 PM
GUEST,Mr Bill himself 08 Jan 04 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 08 Jan 04 - 10:44 PM
Rustic Rebel 08 Jan 04 - 10:49 PM
Rapparee 08 Jan 04 - 10:56 PM
Amos 08 Jan 04 - 11:03 PM
khandu 08 Jan 04 - 11:27 PM
Amos 08 Jan 04 - 11:31 PM
Amos 08 Jan 04 - 11:39 PM
khandu 08 Jan 04 - 11:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jan 04 - 12:04 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jan 04 - 12:12 AM
Rapparee 09 Jan 04 - 08:39 AM
Amos 09 Jan 04 - 09:17 AM
Rapparee 09 Jan 04 - 09:52 AM
Amos 09 Jan 04 - 11:02 AM
Rapparee 09 Jan 04 - 01:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jan 04 - 10:30 AM
Amos 10 Jan 04 - 11:06 AM
Rapparee 10 Jan 04 - 07:46 PM
Peace 10 Jan 04 - 07:53 PM
khandu 10 Jan 04 - 09:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jan 04 - 11:21 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 10 Jan 04 - 11:31 PM
Amos 11 Jan 04 - 12:28 AM
Rapparee 11 Jan 04 - 12:38 AM
Tweed 11 Jan 04 - 01:20 AM
Peace 11 Jan 04 - 01:45 PM
Little Hawk 11 Jan 04 - 01:48 PM
khandu 11 Jan 04 - 02:20 PM
Tweed 11 Jan 04 - 05:14 PM
Rustic Rebel 11 Jan 04 - 05:14 PM
Rustic Rebel 11 Jan 04 - 05:22 PM
Tweed 11 Jan 04 - 06:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jan 04 - 07:17 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jan 04 - 07:33 PM
GUEST,Hortense C Durp 11 Jan 04 - 09:13 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 09:02 AM


Ac herkneth, lordinges that ben trewe,   
Ichil you telle of "Sir Orfewe."
***Orfeo*** mest of ani thing    (emphasis supplied)
Lovede the gle of harping.   


Of, Rapaire, you BSer!! LOL!!   

"I will tell you of Sir Orfeo.
Orfeo, more than anything,
Loved the joy of harp-music."

This is a middle-Breton lay named after the hero Sir Orfeo who is a hero, not a cookie!!

You beguile your readers most unseemly!! Did you do this to enquiring school-children?

Fie, sirrah!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 10:44 AM

Ode tew Rapaire of Bee Ess, Kinge



Above all thing thow doth bee ess,   
And foolest the world one tew all;
Who lakythe the, all joy, pardé,   
Wyll sone then frome hym ffall!   
In every place thow makyste foules,   
Gret joye, spoorte, and uelfare;
When troth ys knowne, comfort ys none,   
But thowght, sorowe, and care.   
In kynges corte, where bee ess dothe route,   
Yt makyth the galandes to jett,
And for to were gorgeouse ther gere,
Ther cappes awry to sett.   
In the heyweyes ther joly palfreys   
Yt makyght to lepe and praunce,
It maket justynges, pleys, dysguysynges,   
Ladys to synge and daunce.   
For he that alway maketh bee ess   
Stondyth a mated chere,
Can never wel syng, lang daunce nor springe,   
Nor make no lusty chere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 11:08 AM

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
    - Voltaire (1694-1778)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 11:24 AM

Amos, did I ever tell you about my Breton lay? Back in my misspent youth there was this lovely young lady hyght Isault....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 11:43 AM

Sir Rapaire:

For consistency above and beyond the tolerance of normal sanity in the evasion of response, the alteration of topic, the twisting of trails and the avoidance of confession; for demonstrating High Merit in the Perpetuation of Non-Closure by Shifting Unrelenting and Alterations Without Cess; you are hereby awarded the Mudcat's First Award:

The Fudge Quibble



for services Above and Beyond the Call of BS.

We are all very proud of you. Congratulations!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 11:49 AM

Gentlemen - may I point out you are once again vergeing on the point of lacking BS content - which is against the better principles of this thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 12:14 PM

Thank you, Amos, for this high and distinguished honor. Words cannot express my feelings at this moment, but I want to thank all of the little people who made this moment possible: Oberon, Titania, Puck, Peaseblossom and the whole gang -- you know who you are!

In keeping with the humility of which I'm so proud, I shan't add the letters "FQ" after my name. I will continue to be the same shy, retiring, modest kid from the great Midwest I have always been.

Thank you again, Amos. My may is dade.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 12:16 PM

Verging is still in bounds, MM, and after all, brinkmanship makes the richest BS! We haven't fallen yet!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 06:03 PM

Methinks you have nowhere left to fall...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 06:12 PM

The verge might also be at the bottom, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 07:27 PM

To prevent our getting any closer to the verge, we present tonight's installment in THE LIST:

ROBOTIC WELDING MACHINES

Why do they have to make special machines just to weld robots? Won't regular ol' TIG and MIG welders work? Somethin' about the metals robots are made of maybe?

Oh!Oh!Oh!!!! I've got it! It's like that robot from "The Day the Earth Stood Still" - the Klatoo Barada Nikto guy! Anyway, he was made out of the same metal as the spaceship and it was no metal that had been seen on Earth before. No wonder they had to come up with special welders.

Speaking of robots and such, rumor has it that there's a major Allen invasion taking place in the next few days.

I certainly hope this post helps move us away from that verge and back toward the true path of BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 08:28 PM

I'm not at all certain that we were anywhere near the verge. Or the verger. Or the sexton, for that matter.

Rapaire, FQ


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 09:33 PM

Gude save thar BeeDubs! Robotic weldin' machines...Excement fodder fer more BS then you culd scrape off on the liddle irn dachsund thet sets on the back porch obv Aint Ruby's house. It had a sorta ridge on hiz back and were heabvy enouf to set thar real still wilst a person scrape the Bullshit, pigshit,and horseshit from yore boots fore goin' into her kitchen fer coffee an eggs. He were a sorta robot I reckon az he wass maid from iron but didnt' weld much that I culd ever see.
But I digress.....per usual..carry on you french dudes. An' rapier, whudthe hail does FQ stand for? I confess I am not an librarian by no means and habv no understanding of these degrees thet you all sport so proudly....but ef you waz really proud I reckon thet you'd all write out whut sorta degree you axshully habv instead obv modestly abbeverating them, right? Okay, on we go....
Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 09:45 PM

And whar the hell is the insaniac Konto Khandak gone off to? He is not here for a whiel and that is a liddle more than troubling to myself at least. He shouldn't be left by his lonesome fer long or some real crazy shit starts happing.

Khardax?? Come on home now boy!...you habv been negecking yore kingly duties here and some obv them is digesting away from true BS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mr Bill himself
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 10:28 PM

I know you're probably all wondering why I didn't drop in on the last hundredth post on this thread...

Well...I'm busy. What can I say? I've got places to go, people to meet, conventions to host, legions of deranged fans to deal with...I'm sure you can imagine.

The fact is, I forgot all about your silly thread. But I remembered it tonight, so here I am, boldly going where most famous people wouldn't bother to. Why? I guess I'm just a nice guy.

If you're lucky I'll drop in again in about 50 or so posts from now.

Mr Bill

p.s. Why not stop wasting your time here and buy one of my TekWars novels for a change?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 10:44 PM

Tweed, Amos awarded me the Fudge Quibble in a post of 11:43 a.m., January 8, 2004.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 10:49 PM

What do you expect from Q?

There is a quality to a Q that is quite quaint.
It's quintessence will quell a quetzel.
It's quiddity will quiet a Quintilian.
It's quip will quake an aspen.
It's quack will qualify a duck.

I'm not trying to be quarrelsome or a quibbler but I have chosen a quest to quash the statement-"What do you expect from Q?" (*note the quotation marks) and Bee-dubya-ell, you being a quinquagenarian, you should have more respect for the Q, be quixotic, quiver in delight, and quench the lips with a quartern.
Alas, with great quandary,and with qualm, I now will quit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 10:56 PM

So, ya wanna know Q, eh? So look at what my friend Susan has fer ya.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 11:03 PM

Rapaire:

For consistency above and beyond the tolerance of normal sanity in the evasion of response, the alteration of topic, the twisting of trails and the avoidance of confession; for demonstrating High Merit in the Perpetuation of Non-Closure by Shifting Unrelenting and Alterations Without Cess; you are hereby awarded the Mudcat's First Award:

The Fudge Quibble


Bobert:

Ya gotta READ the thread er ya won' UNNDERSTAN what is developing.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 11:27 PM

Amos, did you say "Bobert"? Do you not mean "Tweed"?
I certainly understand how you could get them confused...wait...they were already confused...you didn't get them confused! Now you've got me confused!

I was wondering...was what mmario said BS? If not, then he wrongly posted it here & must be publicly chastised!

Anyone here up to some good old chastising?

We haven't had any good chastising for a long time!

Hmmmmm...do you have to be chaste to chastise?

I was chaste once.

Konto Khandak (uh...dammit, Tweed! I mean...)

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 11:31 PM

BWL,

Ye're clearly suffering from an advanced case of Misdirected Modifier. What is Robotic is that which Welds, find its controls by benefit of a series of carefully coded values for X, Y and Z axes translated through motion control devices. NOT that which is welded which can be anything from skittles to Flexible Flyers.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 11:39 PM

Khandu:

You were right, and I was wrong. Just this once. I meant Tweed, not Bobert. When Bobert writes like that, is he imitating Tweed? Or does Tweed write like that to imitate Bobert?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 11:47 PM

Would it be "life imitating art" or "art imitating Life"?
Is Tweed "Life" or is he "Art"?

Or could it be something more ethereal? Perhaps, diabolical?

methinks therefore meam.

DAMMIT...I'M STILL CONFUSED!!!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 12:04 AM

YEEHAW!!!!!!

Hot damn! A good ol' fashioned chastisin'! Oh boy! Kin we sell tickets? I jus' love a good chastisin'.

Quick! Grab the net before the sumbitch gets away. No, dammit! Not that one! The crazy old fucker with the beard!

Leave me alone, you little bastards! Every time I try to have a little fun you purple-talking little shits come around with your damned nets and Thorazine.

GO AWAY!!!!


Now see what you did? You only pissed the old fucker off. Next time bring the Goddamned tranquilizer gun! Jesus! What a buncha fuckups!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 12:12 AM

Tweed does not imitate Art, though Tweed does know Art. Well, Tweed doesn't really know Art. Not in the Biblical sense anyway. I guess. I don't know for sure. I guess he could. Aw, hell, why not? They're both consenting adults and whatever they do in the privacy of their own boudoirs is none of my business.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 08:39 AM

Well, if MMario posted what he posted and it was the truth or even approaching the truth, then by the very fact that it was posted here would just plain suck all the truth outa it and replace it with BS.

And if it wasn't the truth, then it belonged here anyway, 'cause you can't put truth into a post anymore than you can put the air back into a flat tire (or something like that).

For example, if I was to post something like "We present a quantum system composed of infinitely many particles, subject to a non quadratic Hamiltonian, for which it is possible to investigate the long time behavior of the dynamics and its ergodic properties. We do so both for the KMS states and for a large class of locally normal invariant states, whose very existence is already of some interest" I'd probably get smacked with a very dead carp, and deservedly so, 'cause something like THAT belongs HERE and not at the fancy-smancy website where I found it.

But if I was to post something like "Back home when I was growin' up, our babies teethed on guns. Ya see, a nice woman, married with a baby, one afternoon saw a drifter approaching her house. She knew he would bother her something fierce for food and take advantage of her. So she took out her husband's gun, only she found that it weren't loaded. Jest then, that drifter walked right in the door without knocking or nothing. So the woman dropped the empty gun into the crib and tried to fend him off. That drifter was all set to take every bite of food the little lady had prepared for her husband's dinner, and give her a hard time to boot. But he happened to glance into the crib, and saw the woman's little feller jest gumming away at the handle of that ol' .45. Well that drifter turned pale and high-tailed it out of there, 'cause he didn't cotton to stayin' in a place where the babies teeth on guns." Now that sorta thing obviously is full of truth and such, but simply by associating with MOAB nobody's gonna believe it and all the truth is sucked out.

So either way, y'all can't chastise MMario for his post. But heck, like my momma used to say when she chastised us kids, he probably did something deservin' of it and if *I* don't know what it is, HE does, so chastise away!

"You find a tree and I'll git a rope
Honey, honey,
You find a tree and I'll git a rope
Babe, babe..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 09:17 AM

I think we need to chastise Rapaire for that Fudge Quibble he's wearing around his neck!! Nerve of him!! He's much too young to have earned that decor his oen self!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 09:52 AM

"He's much too young to have earned that decor his oen self!!"

Hah! According to the Profiles, I'm older than you are, Amos. And I'm older than Bee-Dubya-Ell, too. And from the photos I've seen, older than Khandu hisself! Y'all are just l'il ole kiddies compared to me! Why, they even wrote two songs about me!

Besides, the FQ isn't around my next any more. I got hungry last night and ate it, washed down with a quart of 16-year-old single malt Irish whiskey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 11:02 AM

A man who would eat his own decorations -- even allowing for the single malt -- is a man to be reckoned on indeed!! Eat a Fudge Quibble, the first ever awarded in Mudcat history!?! Are you sure you're not a Republican? :>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 01:05 PM

I'm a Rational Neo-Liberally Conservative Proto-Anarchist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 04 - 10:30 AM

The letter "S" is proud to present today's installment in the infamous LIST...

SOLAR HEATING!

Passive solar heating is usually accomplished by building a structure in such a way that the southern side is largely glass to allow sunlight in during winter months when the sun is low in the southern sky (at least in the northern hemisphere). Massive walls, earthen berms or barrels of water inside the building are warmed by the incoming sun and radiate the stored heat back out at night. The same berms etc. help cool the building in warm months by absorbing heat from the room atmosphere.

I had planned on building a passive solar-heated house when we moved to the country ten years ago. The little cabin we live in was supposed to be a temporary domicile which would be turned into a workshop after the main house was built. Hah! "The best laid plans of mice and men..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 04 - 11:06 AM

Ah, the Anarchy bit accounts for eating the Fudge Quibble, then. You can count on those sorta folks to eat their decorations.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 04 - 07:46 PM

Precisely. Which is why we no longer deck the halls with boughs of holly. Nasty stuff, holly. Mistletoe, now, is another matter. Or mint. But "deck the halls with boughs of mistletoe" or "deck the halls with juleps of mint" doesn't fit the meter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 10 Jan 04 - 07:53 PM

Does anyone know the song that starts, "Check the balls on that big collie, tra lalalala, la la la la;"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 10 Jan 04 - 09:04 PM

"Tis th reason he's so jolly
Fa la la la la!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 04 - 11:21 PM

Well, tonight's "Something for People With Squat to Do List" topic is

TANYA HARDING

Aw, man! I don't wanna talk about that bimbo. Hell, her time as Hobag de Jeur is long past. Can I change the "T" topic to somethin' else? After all, this whole list thing was my stupid idea. So, like, who's gonna complain if I bend the rules?

So, tonight's topic has been changed to

TWEED!!!

No! Not the idiot! The cloth. Made from wool. Named after the river. The one between England and Scotland. Or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe the river was named after the cloth. Who cares? All I know is that tweed makes damn nice sportcoats. I like 'em. Mind you, I'd never pay what they want in regular stores for a real Harris Tweed coat, but thrift stores around here are full of 'em. Don't ask me why. Maybe folks have heard rumors about the existence of our own infamous TWEED and want to divest themselves of anything that might in any way be considered a link to him. I don't blame them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 10 Jan 04 - 11:31 PM

Your last supposition is entirely correct, Bee-Dubya. I don't blame them either.

As for the fabric tweed it is rather scratchy, unpleasant stuff, usually found on stuffy, boring old gentlemen who smell of too much pipe tobacco.

*PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 12:28 AM

Now those are really fine Harris Tweeds, there, and not being adverse to a link with our upstanding acquaintance from the South, I am honored to say I often wear Tweed. I believe Ms Rutledge is suffering from her usual relapse into Poor Judgement.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 12:38 AM

Ah, yes. Tweed. Last time I was at Balmoral we wore tweed for the grouse shooting. Nice cloth, that. Keeps you warm as you wait for the beaters to drive the birds. Nailed several myself -- beaters, not birds. No loss, lots of peasantry. Miss Rutledge is quite right about one thing: back when I smoked a pipe tweed held the odors of fine pipe tobacco quite well. Not that I smoked fine tobacoo, college students can't afford such things. No, I smoked whatever was available. This included stray lint from tobacco pouches, crushed maple leaves, and various weeds and herbs. But that's not what the smoke at Balmoral, no sir! They smoke cigarettes there, and you'd think that they could afford "tailor mades" but no, they roll their own, and the Queen's tobacconist must blend them their own blend, too -- smells sort of sweetish, and sort of like burning rope too. Odd sort of smell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 01:20 AM

I AM STUNNED INSENSIBLE!! The Knower of a Couple Things has dissed the duck d'Tupelo! RawPears is sucking up to the Harpy while the Khing lanquishes in an opium induced dreamscape...MOAB is rank with decay and multi leveled alliances. It is becoming like unto "Survivor" complete with tawdry romance and deception. I go now to the garden and allow the buzzards at the bidet the final pleasure of picking my bones clean.

And I have no idea how Mz.Penalioppe could smell anything, including a fine Cohiba, over that dollar store knock off perfume she slathers on like it was cocoa butter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 01:45 PM

Tawdry romance? Count me in. No perversions though. Well, OK, maybe just a few. The cocoa butter and Mz Penalioppe in the dollar store while she slathers Cohiba perfume: hey, it don't get much better than that! Like wow, ay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 01:48 PM

Only ten more posts till William Shatner logs in...if we're lucky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 02:20 PM

The Royal Dancing Tarts are in crisis! My lucky *Queen has exiled the lovely Hortense C. Durp (Royal Dancing Tart # 1) to Bloomer,Arkansas for life! The lucky *Queen caught Hortense hob-knobbing with the Ki...uh... well, the reason for the exile is of little importance

But now the RDTs have no leader I must search the land for a new RDT#1 & must find her posthaste!!

Oh, the pain of being King!

(* The Royal *Queen demands an asterisk before her title...beats the hell outta me!)

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 05:14 PM

Hmmmm ..yasss yore Majesthighness, I have run into a similar saturation obv late and habv taken up resilence in a boardinghouse of sorts. Thar is no heat in the place, other than a gas oven which the landlord generously allows to burn a few minutes when the temperature hits 50degrees indoors and of corse thar iz no cookin' allowerd after 5 pm so I am getting very hellthy and also slim as I seldom git thar befor 6:30pm, HAW!! If you git cast out ob the palace I hartly recommend the Bag O' Salad and Total serials as a dietary substutit fore the normal intake obv foodstuffs in cellofane packages, roast pork and so forth. Of corse you are fairly scrawny already so possible the addition of a dollop or two obv birdfeeder suet to yore salad wuld keep some weight on yore pore carcass.
I habv found thet a person kin live on nearly nothin' and still walk this planet wif hardly a problem or two. (Other then habving no danged money or food ennymore, HAW!!)

Yerz,
Tweed
Down in the Gutter but Free


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 05:14 PM

For Penelope


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 05:22 PM

For the women of MOAB
More for the women of MOAB


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 06:25 PM

Thare you go Pelioppe! That's just egzacly what I habv been sayin that will cur yore feisty behabvior all along and Rustic Rebel has found the perfeck device for you. The MotoPenis!! I expeck you will find yoreself a bit more dementicated after a couple sessions wif that thing! HAW!! And prolly them two nitwit prancers thet follows you around over there...Sir Winston-Salem and whatchacallhim....ahh, Nigel Rathbone! If yore British Petrolulum petrol cain't get thet thing to rise I reckon we could send over a load of purple race fuel as I reckon you will need to fill thet thing up a couple times befor yore done with it. HAW!! Ride 'em Girl!! HAW,HAW HAW!!!

yERZ,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 07:17 PM

THE SAD DEMISE OF HORTENSE, THE ROYAL DANCING TART

Hortense Durp, The Royal Dancing Tart,
Her dance was the one thing that set her apart.
Her dance was a passion. Her dance was an art.
Her dance would set singing the strings of your heart.

She got caught hobnobbing The Royal Wart.
Yes, just like Lewinsky, she wasn't too smart.
She no longer dances, but soon she will start
Associate training down at the Wal-Mart.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 07:33 PM

Before we begin tonight's sermon from THE LIST, please take a moment to peruse the following:

Make two Möbius strips. One strip has to be twisted clockwise, the other anticlockwise. Stick them at right angles as before.

When you cut down the middle of both strips, you will get a pair of hearts linked together..

HAW, CarolC! I made an uvula as well!


Now, please understand that the previous excerpt came from a post MOABite TWEED made a few hours ago to the "Do NOT Post to This Thread!" thread started by MOABite Bee-dubya-ell and addressed to MOABite CarolC.

And tonight's topic from THE LIST is

UVULAS!!!

Coincidence? I think not! There's something happening here! And what it is is exactly clear!

As the MOAB approaches it's 2000th post (the M2K point) , it should be expected that Cosmic Alignments, freds sightings and all manner of weird shit will begin to take place. Consider that MOABite Bee-dubya-ell started the aforementioned "Do NOT Post to This Thread!" thread without prior knowledge that MOABite Little Hawk had started an almost identical thread four years ago! Things beyond our ken are starting to speak to us and through us!

And what they are saying is

BULLSHIT!!!

In anticipation of M2K I have examined the five-gallon bucket of dried soybeans and the five-gallon bucket of dried lentils that my friend Trish's in-laws bought in anticipation of starving to death after Y2K. When it became apparent that the supply of Big Macs would remain uninterrupted they decided they really don't like soybeans and lentils anyway and, somehow, the damned things wound up in my toolshed. They appear to be edible, and if M2K shuts the world down I won't starve, though I must admit that I have sampled the soybeans and would rather just go right to the source and eat the dirt they were grown in instead.

Sorry if I haven't actually said a word about uvulas here. Hell, what're the damned things for anyway?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hortense C Durp
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 09:13 PM

Oh, How the Mighty are fallen!

But I shall rise!

It appears that bee dubya ell knows me and knows me well! His poetry has captured my essence as well as my heart.
I think I'm in love!!!!!

Hey, bee dubya! I think I lub ya!! You wanna have a good time? Then come and get it Big Bee! Pick me up at the Bloomer "Rooms and Eats"!

Your Dancing Tart,

Hortense


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