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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 06 May 08 - 02:39 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 02:41 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 02:46 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 06 May 08 - 03:54 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 03:57 PM
Acme 06 May 08 - 04:17 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 04:26 PM
Amos 06 May 08 - 05:36 PM
Rapparee 06 May 08 - 06:51 PM
Amos 06 May 08 - 07:25 PM
Little Hawk 06 May 08 - 08:46 PM
Amos 06 May 08 - 08:53 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 06 May 08 - 09:30 PM
Little Hawk 06 May 08 - 09:42 PM
Rapparee 06 May 08 - 10:05 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 06 May 08 - 10:17 PM
Acme 06 May 08 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 06 May 08 - 10:24 PM
Amos 06 May 08 - 11:04 PM
MMario 07 May 08 - 08:36 AM
MMario 07 May 08 - 11:15 AM
Amos 07 May 08 - 02:52 PM
MMario 07 May 08 - 03:07 PM
Amos 07 May 08 - 03:29 PM
MMario 07 May 08 - 03:41 PM
Rapparee 07 May 08 - 03:52 PM
MMario 07 May 08 - 03:55 PM
Rapparee 07 May 08 - 04:12 PM
MMario 07 May 08 - 04:17 PM
Amos 07 May 08 - 04:31 PM
Amos 07 May 08 - 06:56 PM
Acme 07 May 08 - 07:25 PM
MMario 07 May 08 - 07:35 PM
Little Hawk 07 May 08 - 08:09 PM
Rapparee 07 May 08 - 09:18 PM
Acme 07 May 08 - 10:52 PM
Amos 08 May 08 - 03:04 AM
Rapparee 08 May 08 - 09:09 AM
MMario 08 May 08 - 09:17 AM
Rapparee 08 May 08 - 09:18 AM
Rapparee 08 May 08 - 09:26 AM
Acme 08 May 08 - 09:47 AM
Amos 08 May 08 - 10:07 AM
Amos 08 May 08 - 02:39 PM
MMario 08 May 08 - 02:41 PM
Rapparee 08 May 08 - 02:58 PM
Amos 08 May 08 - 03:51 PM
Rapparee 08 May 08 - 04:04 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 02:39 PM

a singular speciman of Odocoileus virginianus


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 02:41 PM

an ovum producing speciman of Odocoileus virginianus


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 02:46 PM

0.05 mL of aureate solar energy


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 02:47 PM

self referential nomenclature


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 03:54 PM

I had some of those at various times, but a good salve usually fixed me right up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 03:57 PM

an extremly great distance at which to perambulate with rapidity


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 08 - 04:17 PM

Back and forth . . . I thought you were giving us another GW Bush analogy, but no, it's a deer. You're off in Sound of Music land.

This is a picture of Bush--of the Toxicodendron radicans that our current resident is: Ewwww, I break out just looking at it. Old Bush is a bullous lesion on the landscape of America's backside.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 04:26 PM

Agrarian workers distrbuting vegetative reproductive cells across tilled properties.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 05:36 PM

MM:

What are you ON, dude??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 06:51 PM

He done gone and found hisself a THEE-saurus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 07:25 PM

MM, my old friend, lookee hyar.

BS comes in many tones and rhythms and qualities.

But just finding some long words and stringing them up isn't true quality BS. It has to have a framework, it has to sound like something that might be meaningful.

You're doing awful well with your practicing polysyllabic obscurantism. Awful well. Mom would be proud.

But let's surprise her and before you come back into the parlor to show your latest trick, try adding a little context to spice things up. It will double dazzle them!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 May 08 - 08:46 PM

"just finding some long words and stringing them up isn't true quality BS"

Hovering puissantly amidst beneficent tranquility suffices whilst pondering new and untried techniques of spelunking the evanscent waves of time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 08:53 PM

You sir are a sesquipedalian jacknapes, a sussuration of semantic solipsism, a maundering meerschaum-footed munchkin of meandering morphemes, and a conscienceless concatenator of catenary catarrh-strewn tropes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:30 PM

And youse are both FLIPPED! Youse people oughta get a life.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:42 PM

I munder as I maunder...out under the escutcheon...how nameless quintenderers employ their professions?

Do they persevere parsimoniously? Or do they venerate voraciously? Can parsimonious perseverance lead in time to venerable veracity or will it instead devolve slowly but surely into cantankerous tendentiousness? And if so, whither the wanderer who witless stands? Or not standing, sits? And if not then, when?

I munder as I maunder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:05 PM

I dunno. I jist goes an gits mah gun an blows em all ta hayel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:12 PM

hey! There was plenty of context. And order. And even Music!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:17 PM

Yes sir, that ol' thuty-thuty makes music to mah ears.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:18 PM

What's Little Hawk on about, canker on parsnips?

He was doing the Doe, a deer, a female deer, Re, a drop of golden sun bit, but he did it without the definitions, just do re me. I think he was trying to build a musical pyramid. It had something to do with what we were talking about a while back--whatever that was.

I responded that his scientific named deer (in the headlights?) should have been a plant not a deer, and I suggested the appropriate plant.

Maybe I had that conversation in my head and not on the screen. But we thought it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:24 PM

Doe, a deer, the freezer's full
Ray, that boy was sure surprised
Me, I nailed old Bambi's mom
Fa, I did it at 800 yards!
So, yeah, it was a fa fa shot,
La, de da de da de da!
Tea, Long Island back in camp,
And that brings us back to the doe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 11:04 PM

Oh, god. I feel so STUPID!!!

He was invoking the nomenclature of scalable acoustical archetectonics!! And I didn't even notice!!!


I take it all back, MM -- you were too subtle for my abraded old brain!! You are truly a man of Emms.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 08 - 08:36 AM

That's alright Amos - the whole musical theatrics thing goes over a whole lot of peoples heads.


A brief scripted missive to follow Agrarian workers distributing vegetative reproductive cells across tilled properties.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 08 - 11:15 AM

a decotation of Thea sinensis foliage imbibed with a supercooled mixture of sugars and pulped ovarine tissue from vegetion and with heat denatured, fermented paste made of crushed seeds of a selected grass varietal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 08 - 02:52 PM

Pugilate the marine platform external surfacing!
Energize the incandescent filament-heat phton-emission devices!
Collective possession includes no location useful as mobility-destination descriptors except that set of said descriptors of altitude distributions greater than 80 per cent!

Initializing at the present coordinates,
Commencing at the current locus rounded to nanoseconds in local space-time temporal units,

Phenomenological events are universally observed transcending normal atmosphere-soil boundary layers in the form of highly cultivated roseate stem-borne flowers.


(How am I doing, man?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 08 - 03:07 PM

Light the lights

we've nowhere to go but the heights

starting here,
starting now

everythings coming up roses!

I have to admit I don't get the first line.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 08 - 03:29 PM

Hit the deck!

(Sorry)....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 08 - 03:41 PM

duh! I so should have figured that out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 08 - 03:52 PM

Existentially an elderly former resident of the immediate area of riparian boundary between the United States of America and the Republic of Mexico employed as a collector of semi-domesticated bovines, but without genu varum or an excess of melanocytes the epidermal covering of the oral mucosa, fat tissue, and the buccinator muscle....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 08 - 03:55 PM



MOM!

RAPAIRE TOOK MY SPINNER!

Make him give it BACK!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 08 - 04:12 PM

Okay, here it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 08 - 04:17 PM

Thanks. we can share it if you want.

It's just I worked reallly, really, really, hard for it, and Amos made fun of me, and everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 08 - 04:31 PM

You can always tell an old cow hand, from the Rio Grande,
But you cannot tell him much.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 08 - 06:56 PM

I asked that girl to marry me,
And whaddya think she said?
She said she would not marry me
'Til all the rest were dead!!


Lalalalaladedadeda
Lalalalaladedadeda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 May 08 - 07:25 PM

Mom, did the septic leech into the well again? There must be something in the water. The guys are really la-la today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 08 - 07:35 PM

we'ew lA-dee-dah because "we got elegance!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 May 08 - 08:09 PM

You usually can't tell him anything he doesn't already know either, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 08 - 09:18 PM

Got a big ugly truck sitting in front of the house, all set to haul away the old cedar shakes on the roof. Gonna git me a bran' new RUFF!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 May 08 - 10:52 PM

Will anyone be in the house while the new one is going on? It's like living inside a drum, and seems, from comparing notes with others familiar with the experience, to pretty uniformly generate a really substantial headache by the end of the day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 08 - 03:04 AM

A roof without Rapaire below it
Shambled shingles, nesting in ruins
Shingles shattered, sadly reciting
Stories of all they had seen
Singing songs   heard in winter,
Sighing
Saving some pride with
Remembered shingled shenanigans,
Back when they lived over Rapaire,
Proud to roof him for
Their life's service
Before
The
Ugly truck came.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 08 - 09:09 AM

Sheeeeeeee-it, Amos, them shakes been blowin' off the house ever since I moved in here. Roof leaked (on my wife's side of the bed, but not on the bed) back in December. Iffen the roof ain't gonna do any better'n that I'm replacin' it!

And yes, there will be someone here. In fact, I'll be in the basement giving a retreat to most of the supervisors this afternoon. The guns and all are all laid out and 'most everything is ready. I just need to remember to bring the laser from work.

The new roof will have a 50 year guarantee, 110 mph wind resistance, a ridge vent, and Class A fire resistance. It will also cost a bunch of money. We'll get the two doors replaced right smartly, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 May 08 - 09:17 AM

you've got doors on your roof?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 08 - 09:18 AM

Oh yeah, I forgot. I'll send you the Christmas lights that are still up there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 08 - 09:26 AM

How do you get up there to put up the Christmas lights?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 May 08 - 09:47 AM

Rap, I priced my roof with three different folks--the same sort of 50 year (hail resistant) roof. First guy, big commercial roofer, wanted $10,000. Second guy, mid-sized local company, wanted $8,000. My contractor put me in touch with the guy who put the roof on my garage when he built it, he's the guy who actually DOES the work (the other two would have hired someone like him). He asked a hair under $6,000. Great job.

Have something handy to offer as a treat at lunchtime--they work really hard at this job, and for these crews, lunch is almost a ceremony. When I checked to see how they were doing, they offered some of their Mexican dishes, and I accepted a plate, but I brought out a bag of clementines to contribute my share. A pleasant rapport with the folks who are working on something so critical to your house as your roof is, like Martha says, 'A Good Thing.'

My reduced insurance bill dropped my monthly mortgage payment more than $50 a month with the new roof. Be sure to tell your agent about this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 08 - 10:07 AM

If I were a shake shingle
And you were a clementine
And a southerly wind came up
Would you blame me for flyin'?

Ya know, that's just a sign of the shakes coming of age. They have a long adolescence, and then, one spring usually, they will lift their upwind edges just a mite to the face of the freshening breeze, and fly away. Resistance is futile, as many a homeowner has learned. It is part of life that shakes, sooner or later, will flee on the wind. This is embedded in the ancient scriptures, advising all mortals who can read that Shakes Rattle and Roll.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 08 - 02:39 PM

Mom,

Stand up, man!!! No drifting down....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 May 08 - 02:41 PM

Amos, did you just call our MOther, MOAB herself, a man?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 08 - 02:58 PM

Amos rarely mentions it, but he has a hard time telling the difference between boys and girls.

Never send him to the bathroom alone when he's out in public.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 08 - 03:51 PM

You gentlemen need to learn the very basic concept that one word can have more than one concept mapped to it.

For example, the word "man" has several:

1. A member of species homo sapiens
2. A member of species homo spaiens of male gender.
3. A piece used in a game.
4. (V) To equip (as, an operation, a team, a military unit) with people.
5. An individual representative of a set of individuals. ("The once-surly crew pitched in to a man...")
6. An expletive used to emphasize or modulate a communication addressed to an individual. *("Get a grip on yourself, man!" he said to the fat lady who was too scared to sing.)

Yo will find my chosen and intended meaning somewhere in the list above, but if you guess wrong, it will cost you your larynx.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 08 - 04:04 PM

"homo spaiens of male gender" is a spayed or neutered male of genus "homo"?


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