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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Janie 08 Feb 09 - 04:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 09 - 05:19 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 09 - 05:52 PM
Acme 08 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 09 - 06:38 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 09 - 06:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 09 - 08:17 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 09 - 09:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 09 - 10:02 PM
Acme 08 Feb 09 - 11:36 PM
Amos 08 Feb 09 - 11:44 PM
Rapparee 09 Feb 09 - 08:46 AM
Rapparee 09 Feb 09 - 09:00 AM
MMario 09 Feb 09 - 10:06 AM
Acme 09 Feb 09 - 10:16 AM
Amos 09 Feb 09 - 10:58 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 09 - 11:07 AM
Rapparee 09 Feb 09 - 12:44 PM
Amos 09 Feb 09 - 03:22 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 09 - 03:51 PM
GUEST,Colonel Sir Nigel West, CGC (Ret.) 09 Feb 09 - 06:23 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 09 - 06:58 PM
Acme 09 Feb 09 - 10:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 09 - 10:40 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 09 - 10:49 PM
Acme 09 Feb 09 - 11:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 09 - 12:40 AM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 09:06 AM
Amos 10 Feb 09 - 11:04 AM
Acme 10 Feb 09 - 11:08 AM
Amos 10 Feb 09 - 11:13 AM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 11:30 AM
Acme 10 Feb 09 - 11:39 AM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 11:55 AM
MMario 10 Feb 09 - 12:02 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 12:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 09 - 12:59 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 09 - 01:04 PM
MMario 10 Feb 09 - 01:12 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 09 - 01:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 09 - 01:40 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 09 - 01:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 09 - 03:18 PM
MMario 10 Feb 09 - 03:23 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 09 - 03:26 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 06:09 PM
Acme 10 Feb 09 - 06:12 PM
Acme 10 Feb 09 - 06:13 PM
Little Hawk 10 Feb 09 - 06:35 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 06:36 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 04:54 PM

Hence, the birth of MOAB!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 05:19 PM

I propose a unit of wisdom to be known as a "Platon", in honor of Plato. The maximum number of Platons in a given statement is one hundred. Descartes' "I think, therefore I am" is an example of a 100 Platon statement. (I'm talking about Descartes' original realization, not some college freshman mindlessly reciting it to pass a Philosophy 101 exam. Within that context, it's only worth 2.5 Platons.)

Of course, it is possible for a statement to exhibit negative wisdom. I further propose a unit of negative wisdom (aka stupidity) to be known as a "Dubyan", in honor of a recently departed head of state.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 05:52 PM

So what about us post-modern deconstructionalist Cartesians, huh? And our motto, "Cogito cogito cogito, ergo cogito cogito sum, cogito" where does your little "platon" leave that?

And why is is named after Plato, who basically stole his stuff Aristotle? Why not call it an "Aristotilan" instead? Or a "thrales" after Thrales?

And weren't you positing a "dubyan" after yourself, really?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM

I would call that "in recognition."

"Honor" and referents to George W. Bush (such as "Dubya") are oxymorons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 06:38 PM

It's called a "Platon" because it is an elegant name. The standard unit of elegance is an "Astairion" (named in recognition of Fred Astaire) and "Platon" gets a score of 95 out of a possible 100 Astairions. It's short, easy to remember, and ends in "on" like a good unit should. The only reason it doesn't score 100 Astairions is that some people tend to spit when saying any word beginning with a "P".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 06:59 PM

Well,

petabecquerel,
petaflops,
pferdestärke,
pfund,
phot,
picofarad,
picolo,
picomole,
picotesla,
pieze,
plethron,
poiseuille,
poncelet,
pottle,
pud,

are all names for various measurements that begin with P. And I don't find any of them to be really pleasant for pontification.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 08:17 PM

A plethron is a square measure of 10,000 Greek feet. I bet it smells really bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 09:29 PM

There are also fardel, farthingale, farsakh, fatt, wyde, wey, demisemiquaver, doppelzentner, halakim, hectopascal, therblig, toise, truss, minutum, and a whole bunch of others.

And you still thing "Platon" is a good measure?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 10:02 PM

More so than ever. None of the others you've listed score more than 30 Astairions on the elegance scale. In fact, some of them sound downright repulsive. Their elegance score is negative. The unit for measurement of lack of elegance is a "Mooron", named in recognition of documentary film maker Michael Moore. "Therblig" scores 87 moorons in the inelegance scale.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 11:36 PM

I'll see you an Astaire and raise you a Charisse.

Or a Kelly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 11:44 PM

Well, I will honor the elegance of the platon in place of sages per morphemic array as units of wisdom, although you have to have the second unit to give character to the rate of flow. I would hazard a guess that 100 insights equals a platon, and 100 platons equals a solon.

I like thinking of posting stupidities in terms of dumkopfs per pica line, because you can compare thread-posters with book authors. In general book authors have more total dumkopfs in a book, but on a per line basis, the thread-mongers take the cake.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 08:46 AM

How do you plan to abbreviate these "units of measure" without confusing them with others? And upon what basis is the meaure based?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 09:00 AM

And I would be measured in petasolons?

I want to know why BS isn't measured in tauriflops.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:06 AM

the tauroflop is such a small unit though. Most BS gets measured in herds or most commonly megaherds. There are a million herds in a megaherd, and a thousand tauroflops per herd.

YOu can see that around here, even megaherds are usually inadaquate for measuring the BS. Luckily - the politician (equal to 1 million megaherds) is available for higher rates of BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:16 AM

I think we'd all be out-classed by a "politician" (unless it is the unstable variety, called a "Palin." A "Palin" shovels it out in large quantities, but is known to shovel from the bottom of the deck and fling the more toxic material first instead of mixing it up and diluting the toxicitiy.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:58 AM

Abbreviations are for lazy people. I leave them to the feckless and under-employed. I, for example, am laughing out loud, although I am not a lawyer and your mileage may vary. In fact I an rolling on the floor laughing my ass off at some of these recent witticisms.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 11:07 AM

The #1 Google Image Search result for "elegance" is a picture of actress Keira Knightley. I've heard her name, but don't watch enough movies to feel qualified to judge on her elegance level.

The #1 Google Image Search result for "inelegance" is this cartoon. I believe that's Michael Moore standing by the box.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 12:44 PM

Please put it back on, Amos. You'd look strange without an ass. Unless, of course, you mean the kind you can ride and in that case you should say that you're on the floor because you laughed yourself off your ass. Now, the ass could say, "I'm rolling on the floor laughing my Amos off" but...never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 03:22 PM

Well, in this case I was referring to the ass of which it was said "the law is one".

In this respect, although I am not an outlaw as far as I know, and if I recall correctly, in my humble opinion, I may be an off-law. It has already been established that I am an in-law, which is neither here nor there, on or off, six of one or half-a-dozen of the other. But I have always been slightly off on the law anyway so I may as well learn to live with it and be the best off-law I can be.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 03:51 PM

Keira Knightly is the very epitome of elegance, Bee-Dub, and I highly recommend most of the movies she has appeared in. She reminds me a lot of Penelope Rutledge in her general appearance, but she's not quite as aggressively assertive as Penelope (though somewhat so on occasion), and she's a bit younger as well. You can't ask for a more elegant form of beauty than that of Keira Knightly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Colonel Sir Nigel West, CGC (Ret.)
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:23 PM

Penelope Rutledge is the epitome of elegance; I hope very much that Veronica becomes so. It is unwelcome, at least to me, to see the Grand Old Families going the way so many of them are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:58 PM

This photograph is the epitome of elegance. Two, count them, two people with scores of 100 Astairions in the same photograph! And both of them named Kelly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:32 PM

And not related. I'd always thought Grace was related to Jack (as in Bart Maverick) but it turns out that Jack was the brother of NANCY Kelly (aka the mom in The Bad Seed).

Keira is okay in some things (probably the ones I haven't seen, like Pirates of the Caribbean) but she was a LOUSY Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice. Though she was closer to the right age than some actresses who have played the role, she just spent too much time grinning and trying to slide through the role that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:40 PM

By the way, in response to Ms Sage's comment, "And weren't you positing a 'dubyan' after yourself, really?"....

No. A Dubyan is a unit of stupidity, not idiocy. I have never claimed to be stupid, only to be an idiot. I did not call the Dubyan a "unit of idiocy". Had I done so, you might make a case for my having named it after myself. But I didn't. If I had thought about it, I may have assigned some other name to the unit of stupidity, and reserved "Dubyan" for for some more noble cause. But it's too late now. The die has been cast by the fat lady who was singing as she floated on the water passing under the bridge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:49 PM

Good of you to compliment Penelope Rutledge, Colonel West. Yes, she is indeed the epitome of elegance, and always has been so. Veronica is going through a difficult age now, testing her limits as it were, but I trust that in time she will rise to the challenge and meet the standards of excellence long associated with her family.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 11:35 PM

By the way, in response to Ms Sage's comment, "And weren't you positing a 'dubyan' after yourself, really?"....

I didn't say that! I wouldn't even think that! Too many unfortunate souls with a "W" in their names would be forever shackled to the Bubba image Dubya cultivated were that kind of bias practiced once that putz left office.

I didn't see that in the other remarks either. Are you making any bongs along with your pots and plates and bowls and humidors? Maybe a little smoke got in your eyes when you were reading earlier?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 12:40 AM

I apologize to Ms Sage. It was Mr. Rapaire who posted the offending comment.

But, see, it only goes to prove my point. I am an idiot!

And since I missed the opportunity to name the standard unit of idiocy after myself, I do now propose such a unit, to be called an "Idion". My little gaff of accusing Stilly of making Rapaire's offensive comment is worth about 20 Idions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 09:06 AM

To misattribute a quotation is An Offense; to attribute such a quotation to a lady is unconscionable. Sir, my friend Mr. Amos will call upon you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:04 AM

(For those unfamiliar with Rapaire-speak, the above is the equivalent of a profuse apology.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:08 AM

I found it, I hadn't dropped far enough down the screen to find Rap's quip.

Looks like rain today, MOM. You might want to move your chair and wicker table further back from the edge of the porch or your newspaper and paperback mystery might get wet from the splash off of the rail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:13 AM

The art of presenting dudgeon as a form of apology, by the way, is a little-noted skill in public relations often used by Republicans. I remark on this simply in order to tag yet another piece of evidence in my growing file of evidence that Rapaire, under his mild-mannered bookish exterior, is a Republican at heart.

I expect as the evidence accumulates I shall be in a position to file charges sometime in the fourth quarter of the present year.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:30 AM

Republicans have infested San Diego since the last Ice Age, at least. Evidence in form of tusks and skeletons is being found even as I write this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:39 AM

Very true, evidence is turning up. But I think they may have been cast in plaster by Amos in his back yard, then chucked down in the construction hole at night when no one was looking.

He's funny that way. Probably doesn't even remember doing it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:55 AM

Which goes to prove that Amos is a closet Republican.

C'mon, Amos. 'fess up. It'll do your soul good to admit it. And you'll stop being under PTSD since the 1932 election.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 12:02 PM

That's going a bit far, accusing Amos of throwing stuff into a construction site.

Amos doesn't litter! MOM taught him better then that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 12:30 PM

No, I'm sure that by "throwing" she meant that Amos goes there at night and buries it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 12:59 PM

Looks like rain today, MOM. You might want to move your chair and wicker table further back from the edge of the porch or your newspaper and paperback mystery might get wet from the splash off of the rail.

Is Mom related to my wife? I'm perpetually rescuing her books, mail, cell phone and such from our porch just before the rains commence. I, on the other hand, never leave anything that could be damaged by rain in the porch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:04 PM

In order to compute where anything stands on the scale of excellence, one must calculate it's value in Shatnerons. 10 Shatnerons would be better than nothing, but not too impressive. When one reaches 50 Shatnerons, one is verging upon greatness. The few who are capable of reaching 100 Shatnerons are guaranteed to become legends in their own time. Bob Dylan, for example, reached 100 Shatnerons when he recorded the album "Bringing It All Back Home".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:12 PM

LH! YOu're holding the chart updside down again.

10 Shatnerons is almost something, but little more then nothing.

50 shatnerons is almost nothing.

100 Shatnerons is barely existant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:20 PM

Mario, you are looking through the wrong end of the telescope again. That's why everything looks so tiny! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:40 PM

THIS is the only thing worthy of being measured in Shatnerons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:42 PM

Sabotage! I opened that link and it crashed the page.

You don't even rate 1 Shatneron, sir. You are a subversive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 03:18 PM

The picture crashed your browser page? Simple to fix. Just go to your browser's "Preferences" page and change the "Accept Pictures of Disgusting Cow Turds?" button from "NO" to "YES".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 03:23 PM

Unless you have MicroSloth Internet Exposer - then you have to go into Tools; Options; INternet Connections; Privacy; Advanced; graphics; prefeerences; and change the
"DO NOT accept disgusting pictures of cow flops" from NO to YES.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 03:26 PM

It's the result of a crippling shortage of Shatnerons at MicroSloth, that's what it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:09 PM

I have watched poor Mom abandoned for four (4) hours now.

Here I am, Mom. It's okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:12 PM

27600

LH, you're making it too difficult. Instead of Shatnerons, why not simplify and use his first name. If it is of little value, it is a 1 Bill. More value a 10 Bill or a 100 Bill. A 1000 Bill would be very nice. I don't think the treasury would approve anything over that in size, though.

Funny, my spell-check doesn't like "Shatnerons."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:13 PM

Oops. I type slower than you do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:35 PM

Yes, Bills is the informal or colloquial expression for those value units, while Shatnerons is the formal or scientific term for same. For instance, the 30 ft tall marble statue of William Shatner clad in a speedo that stands proudly on the front lawn of the WSSBA in Orillia, Ontario, is worth several thousand Bills. Or Shaterons. Whichever. One Bill is equivalent to exactly 0.97 Shatnerons, but people usually just assume that a Bill is the same value as a Shatneron.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:36 PM

Gee, I thought the colloquial term was "willies".


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