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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 17 Aug 04 - 06:41 PM
Rapparee 17 Aug 04 - 10:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Aug 04 - 08:43 AM
Rapparee 18 Aug 04 - 10:12 AM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 04 - 10:33 AM
Amos 18 Aug 04 - 10:52 AM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 04 - 11:02 AM
Rapparee 18 Aug 04 - 11:16 AM
GUEST,The Supremacy of Eddore 18 Aug 04 - 01:28 PM
GUEST 18 Aug 04 - 01:37 PM
Tweed 18 Aug 04 - 02:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Aug 04 - 02:28 PM
GUEST,The Supremacy of Eddore 18 Aug 04 - 02:40 PM
Tweed 18 Aug 04 - 02:44 PM
Acme 18 Aug 04 - 03:53 PM
Tweed 18 Aug 04 - 04:22 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 04 - 04:36 PM
Acme 18 Aug 04 - 06:35 PM
GUEST,The Supremacy of Eddore 18 Aug 04 - 07:43 PM
Amos 18 Aug 04 - 10:02 PM
Little Hawk 19 Aug 04 - 03:46 PM
MMario 19 Aug 04 - 03:53 PM
GUEST,Mentor 19 Aug 04 - 10:44 PM
Acme 20 Aug 04 - 12:21 PM
Little Hawk 20 Aug 04 - 12:23 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Aug 04 - 12:45 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 04 - 01:00 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Aug 04 - 03:43 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 04 - 04:04 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 04 - 04:30 PM
GUEST,Amos 21 Aug 04 - 09:57 AM
Amos 21 Aug 04 - 03:02 PM
Acme 21 Aug 04 - 04:53 PM
Amos 21 Aug 04 - 04:58 PM
GUEST,Billy Ray 21 Aug 04 - 11:49 PM
Acme 22 Aug 04 - 01:55 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Aug 04 - 09:43 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Aug 04 - 10:11 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Aug 04 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 04 - 09:12 PM
Acme 22 Aug 04 - 10:29 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 04 - 09:53 AM
Acme 23 Aug 04 - 11:01 AM
GUEST,Tweed 23 Aug 04 - 03:20 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 23 Aug 04 - 05:39 PM
Amos 23 Aug 04 - 06:54 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 04 - 07:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Aug 04 - 08:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Aug 04 - 08:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Aug 04 - 08:03 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 06:41 PM

OF SPECIAL INTEREST TO CAROL C !!!!

(But the rest of you may read it too.)

Portable toilets at the art festival in northern Indiana in which I exhibited over the weekend were provided by CRIPE'S SEPTIC SERVICE. Just drop a single diphthong and it would be CRAP'S SEPTIC SERVICE. I'm sure that none of those nice Indiana and Michigan people call them "CRIPE'S CRAPPERS" or any variation thereof. Nope. They're far too civilized for that type of stuff.

Nice toilets too. They use a disinfectant that smells like Lemon Pledge. And nobody mistook one for a canoe and tried to paddle it down the river, though the fact that there was no river nearby may have been a contributing factor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 10:35 PM

Oh contrear, Bee Dubya.

Both the Elkhart and the St. Joseph flow nearby. In fact, the Elkhart flows into the St. Joe, merging at -- you guessed, Elkhart! And there are the Wabash and the Tippecanoe and the Yellow and the Red and the White and the Blue rivers, but they're not near where you were, but further south. There are also creeks, cricks, brooks, runs, and other mini-riverine features nearly too numerous to mention and so, not to bore you with such place names as Laughery Creek and Little Laughery Creek and Cedar Creek and so on I won't name them. I'd mention the Ohio River as well, but it doesn't flow through the state of Indiana.*















*The northern boundary of Kentucky is defined as the high water mark on the northern bank of the Ohio River. Thus the Ohio doesn't flow through Indiana. This was brought to Indiana's attention when Indiana first proposed riverboat gambling on the Ohio, and the governor of Kentucky threatened to confiscate what would be illegal gambling boats. The best that Indiana could do, under the law, was gambling canoes. This has since been changed and you can gamble on a boat on the Indiana side of the Ohio River now, if you want to bother to do so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 08:43 AM

you can gamble on a boat on the Indiana side of the Ohio River now...

Which would mean that one would have to actually stop the car and visit Jeffersonville, Indiana? I think not. Definitely on my list of "drive-through-as-quickly-as-possible-and-try-to-forget-you-were-ever-there" places.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 10:12 AM

Well, I suppose you could visit Jville if you either really wanted to do so or were slightly mad. No, I was thinking of the Belleterra, upstream from the Jville area and nearly in Ohio.

Madison is an interesting town, with lots of historic buildings and things. Farmer's Retreat and Dillville are somewhat smaller than Chicago, but you can usually buy gas there at prices that are only moderately inflated.

I thnk my favorite road in Indiana is the Cheap White Guys Trail, renamed by my brother from its official name of the Chief White Eyes Trail. When you've finished driving it you have to back up at least a hundred yards to unscrew yourself from the ground.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 10:33 AM

You're ignoring him, aren't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 10:52 AM

Sometimes wisdom surfaces in the most unexpected places, LH....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 11:02 AM

Indeed. That's just what I was thinking. :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 11:16 AM

I had a grade school teacher who said almost the same thing about me.

Sister Mary Ann Mania it was, the kindly old nun who taught me during my stint in third grade. She believed in postive reinforcement as the key to learning and it was awful. Tommy begged and pleaded with her to hit him, to skin him alive, to send him to the principle's office, to send a note home to his parents, but no. She would smile and say things like, "Now, Tommy, I'm certain that you can do better, can't you? You're a smart boy and I'm sure that you can." And Tommy would be forced to go back and try and, too often for his psyche to bear, he'd succeed. We pitied him and would beat him up every recess, but he eventually drifted away from the pathways opened for him during his youth and while the rest of us became extortionists, politicians, and pursued similar professions, Tommy skidded downwards, ever downwards, and eventually became a pharmacist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Supremacy of Eddore
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 01:28 PM

You fools actually believe that because five puling infants worked against us that we were defeated? Know then that one of them was working for us and those of Eddore who were worthy escaped that puny attempt to crush us.

Bodhrans will consume you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 01:37 PM

Be silent, laughable one! Or we shall ask the Arasians to grant a lens to Cleigh O'Possum - and then you shall learn true humiliation and defeat.

Better yet - maybe we should ask for a lens for the little pissant. Why make Cleigh exert himself when so little will be needed to teach the "Supremacy" its proper place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 02:01 PM

...OBV SPECIAL INTERST TO BEEDUBZ AND QUEEN CAROLC....



I have the happy opputunity to annunce thet my piano-accordeen iz even now enroute to the Great Sandbar of Florida. It iz being imported from the Great State of Indiana (home obv the Savant-extraordinaire, J.Danforth Quayle) via a fine Tweedizen gal who works in a thrift store and made the mistake obv axing if ennyone waz interested in it. I hope to soon habv a homebilt cd to ship up to Beedubz whom I habv reason to believe iz a closet accordiophile and feel sure thet he would appreciate habving a collection ob my first efforts at playing this wonderful insterment.

No, don't thank me Beedzerzz az the credit iz all due to being in Mudcat proximity to the Squeeze Box Queen CarolC, who habz insparred me to take this turn in my musical road. My gratutide to that High Priestess obv MOAB knows no bounds. Thank you Carol and permit me to thank you on behalf obv the old Pot Thrower too!

Yores mos' truly,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 02:28 PM

NEWSFLASH!!!!!

GEORGIA SWAMPED BY STRAY ANIMALS!!!!!


Animal control officers throughout southern Georgia have been inundated with reports of massive numbers of stray dogs, cats, parakeets and even a few exotic wild animals migrating northward from the Florida peninsula. At first, it was assumed that the animal exodus was due to the effects of Hurricane Charlie, but it now appears that the root cause is the impending arrival in the southern Florida region of a "piano accordion". It appears that, much like animals are said to be able to sense impending earthquakes, the "dumb animals" of Florida have sensed the vibrations of said "piano accordion" in a southbound UPS truck and are hauling ass to anyplace north ot the St. Mary's River before the aforementioned accordion arrives at its destination, alledgedly the domicile of a Mr. R. Shaw of West Palm Beach.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Supremacy of Eddore
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 02:40 PM

Our action has begun. You cannot escape.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 02:44 PM

I had been wondering at the large numbers of carcasses mashed out on the local highways Beezer, but hed atrubbed it to a mass mating season brought on by extreme heat and humous. You will be pleased with yore collection of "Tweed's Alltime Accordian Hits", including my own composure entiteled "CrackHo obv Spam" and numerous 3/4 waltz'z and gala reels. I hope to cram 90 minutes of fine accordian playing and singing and it should be my crowning glory, my masterpiece, the end to all ends!!! O, I can bearly stand to wait for it's arrival and I am sure you share my extuberence. If my burner still burns after the first copy, I will try to make another to send up for when you wear the first one out. Yes, I can almost sense the tears of your joy running down yore old cheeks as you hear for the first time, "Dark Thighs" and the "Volga Batman" as these classics should be really played.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 03:53 PM

For once, I'm glad I live in Texas! It's four states away!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 04:22 PM

Say the word SRS an I will send copies to you also. I'm sure thar iz not enough good accordian music in yore great State and I am convinced that I am chosen fore a holy mission to distribute this wonderss sound wherever there is need of it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 04:36 PM

Escape? Why not just lean back and enjoy it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 06:35 PM

That has never been good advice--the recoommendation now (and the natural inclination) is to fight tooth an nail to prevent such an outcome!

Supremacy of Eddore, take out that UPS truck travelling south to Knoxville on I-75. It's the one by the big road cut, past state route 92 in Kentucky. . . ready, aim, vaporize!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Supremacy of Eddore
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 07:43 PM

Foolish woman. That truck is an integral part of The Plan. We have visualized the results, and assure you that your so-called "Civilization" is doomed. There is no escaping the inevitable and you certainly won't enjoy it, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 10:02 PM

Oh, Eddore, you are so infantile. Go piss on your hands.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 04 - 03:46 PM

That's approximately what William Shatner would have said, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Aug 04 - 03:53 PM

I thought Shatner WAS the supremacy - or vice versa -


he is the ultimate in evil and disgust....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mentor
Date: 19 Aug 04 - 10:44 PM

Pay no attention to Amos' Evil Twin, the being who calls itself "The Supremacy of Eddore."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 12:21 PM

Eddore, you hit the wrong truck. I was pointing you at the UPS truck carrying that accordian, not the . . .the. . . oh my gosh. . .!!!" that was a friggin' Jiffy Pop truck. You've buried half of Kentucky under popcorn!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 12:23 PM

Does Bobert know about this? Wait, he's in West Virginia.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 12:45 PM

It's your fault, SRS. You pointed to the wrong truck! It wasn't the one headed down I-75 toward Knoxville. It was the one headed down I-65 toward Nashville. An easy mistake to make, but one with serious consequences, and we're not just talking about Lexington being buried under fifty feet of the magic treat that's as much fun to make as it is to eat. It means that the piano accordion is still on its way to West Palm Beach!

But, hey, there's always a silver lining. The fish have joined the dogs, cats and parakeets in the mass exodus from Florida. I'm gonna toss a couple of rods & reels into the truck and slip over to Gulf Shores, Alabama, and try my luck off the fishin' pier.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 01:00 PM

I've just seen on the news that the popcorn has started blowing eastwards. Thinking it was snow, livestock all over the place have frozen to death, cars and trucks won't start or are skidding off the road, and various states are screaming for road salt. Governors in Tennessee, West Virginia, and Virginia have declared snow emergencies and activated what's left of their National Guards.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 03:43 PM

Can we get a little road butter to go with that road salt?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 04:04 PM

This just in:

The Department of Homeland Skurity has declared a terrorist alert level of "Flaming Crimson." Tom Gully, the Secretary of Homeland Skurity, said "the snowfall, originating as it has from a single truck, is a blatant attempt to bring this country to its knees. We can't let that happen."

The President stated in a news conference, "We'll use every means at our disposal to end this terror, even nukler bombs if we must. America will be defended!"

Meanwhile, vast flocks of pigeons have left cities in the Midwest, the East Coast, and the West coast and seem to be converging on the site of the truck. NORAD has issued the first "Guano Alert" in its history, putting all of SAC's bombers and missiles under shelter. The EPA has suggested all civilians in the path of the pigeons to wear sturdy hats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 04:30 PM

Here is a picture of some of the pigeons passing over a Mohawk town.

And here is a picture of a local ornithologist trying to tally the numbers of pigeons winging eastward from Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 21 Aug 04 - 09:57 AM

In later developments it appears the Great Popcorn Catastrophe was a carefully orchestrated election-year boost laid down in smokey back-rooms by overweight Republicans wearing gold watch chains. It seems the scheme was conceived in the perfervid brain o f Karl Rove and called for people to believe hte popcorn was being distributed to each according to his need by left wing fanatics, thus causing a lurch to the right by thousands of undecided and slightly spastic voters.

However, the printers who had been ordered to provide little "Remember the Motherland" slips to put in the popcorn boxes, to convince people the popcorn was a Communist plot, slipped up and printed "Defend the Homeland" on the slips instead. Voters thus immediately saw through the scheme and proceeded to decide to vote Green in unprecedented numbers.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 04 - 03:02 PM

I am pleased to announce that Little Hawk has been recruited by the Church of Shatnerology as an officer in their elite para-military branch the Seashat Organization, a high-level group of dedicated Shaterologists who commit themselves to following their Commander through life-time after life-time, picking up his discarded toupees and documenting his various efforts at accomplishing things.

In his new role as a Lieutenant in the Seashat organization, Lt. Little Hawk will be busy learning the vocabulary of fanaticism, and will not have time to speak to us in the terms of enlightenment to which we are accustomed to hearing him write. He'll be much too busy to post here. But this is a small price to pay for the joy of knowing that our man Little Hawk is truly happy for perhaps the first time in his life.

Good luck, Little Hawk, and may you rise rapidly to the top of the, um, heap!! Although we won't be able to follow you across that Special Gap, know that our best wishes are with you. Shatner has NO idea how lucky he is.

As always,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:53 PM

Well, shit, I just had an email from one of Ashcroft's minions. They said if I try to do anything about seasoning all of that popcorn I'll be charged with aSalt and Buttery.

Sorry, but you're going to have to stop that truck heading to (now no doubt PAST Nashville) yourself. Unless the Eddore folks offer to help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:58 PM

I think Buttery is the offense commited by younger women with certain moves built into their muscular glutei maximi.

If you bitch-slap someone while wiggling your ass irresistibly, that's assault and buttery.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Billy Ray
Date: 21 Aug 04 - 11:49 PM

Hi. I live down here in East Tennessee and we got us a problem.

Somethin happened out on one of them innerstates a couple days ago, and all my cows and hogs plumb froze to death. There's all this white stuff came outa the sky, and my old lady and me figgered it was an early snow, even though it's over 90. That's when all the cows and barrows and gilts froze.

So we're snowbound right now, and even though it's still over 90 the stuff ain't melting. I cranked up the snowmobile and went over to Ray Bob's to borrow some flour for biscuits and he let me put this out on his computer.

So if y'all know of anyone who can help, us folks here in Fish Head, Tennessee would be awful grateful if you tell them about us being snowbound.

Thank you, and God bless.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 01:55 AM

The first hard rain ought to help "melt" all of that Billy Ray. But be prepared for "ice floes" in the local rivers for a few days.

I heard that the guys from Eddore were really sorry about that popcorn truck


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 09:43 AM

I have heard from Tweed. The piano accordian has not arrived in West Palm Beach as of this writing! This is exceedingly good news as it should allow the human population of Palm Beach County at least thirty-six more hours to complete evacuation. (Since humans don't hear as well as dogs, a full-scale statewide evacuation is not necessary. Twenty-five miles in either direction of Ground Zero should do the trick.)

Meanwhile, state and federal highway officials are meeting to discuss the feasability of rerouting both Interstate 95 and The Florida Turnpike inland to the eastern shore of Lake Okeechobee. Their current routes take both of these major arteries directly through the no-mans-land the piano accordion will create. Some wags have already suggested leaving the highways where they are and issuing high-efficiency ear protection to drivers as they enter the area.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 10:11 AM

In a related story...

When it was pointed out to the aforementioned highway officials that, in considering moving I-95 and The Turnpike, they appeared to be neglecting venerable U.S. Highway One, one official replied, "Anyone who would drive more than a couple of miles on US One already has severe brain damage anyway. Having to listen to 'Lady of Spain' probably won't hurt 'em."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 08:53 PM

Ho hum....

Just a little something to keep our poor Mom from sliding too far down the page....

In an earlier post I remarked that no portable toilets were used as canoes at a festival which I attended in northern Indiana because, in part, there were no rivers nearby. Rapaire subsequently informed me that there are, in fact, several rivers nearby.

I believe we're assigning different values to the word "nearby". Rapaire's "nearby" seems to mean "within a reasonable automobile drive". My "nearby" means "close enough that you could drag the portable toilet to the water without getting a hernia".

You see, I am accustomed to attending festivals at sites where a body of water either borders or flows through the festival site. So far this year I have been at festivals on or a short portage from The Matanzas Inlet, The Blackwater River, The St. Johns River, Pensacola Bay, The Santa Rosa Sound, Mobile Bay, The Suwanee River, and The Gulf of Mexico. At any of these sites drunks hijacking PortaPotties and using them as canoes has been a possible, though, admittedly, unlikely occurence.

In fact, the only time I have ever seen a portable toilet used as a canoe was at a bluegrass festival at Shoal Creek Park in Lavonia, Georgia in 1977. (That was the same festival at which an intoxicated motorcyclist tried to drive his Harley onto a tree which overhung Shoal Creek and wound up in the creek [bike included] instead.) Perhaps if I attended more music festivals at the Spirit of the Suwanee Music Park where things certainly do get wild I would see yet another portable toilet floating down a river. But, since those festivals afford me no opportunity to make money and cost a goodly amount to attend, I doubt it's gonna happen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 09:12 PM

Well, Bee Dubya, up in Hoosierland you'd find things are done a bit differently. When a Hoosier wants to use a portapotty as a canoe, s/he don't need a creek or river or anything! And no, they don't paddle 'em on dry land, neither. They tip 'em over in such a way that the holding tank provides the necessary "roadway". And if the holding tank doesn't have quite enough "roadway material" in it (like, for example, if its been recently emptied or they're gonna have a canoepotty race), they get a bunch of their friends together and add whatever it necessary.

And during the Winter AND the Summer folks in the hilly parts of Indiana use them portapotties like tobaggans! During the winter they slide 'em down the snow-covered hills of Hoosierland, and in the summer they slide 'em down the hills by using the more solid contents of the holding tanks, cow "leavings", and stuff like that. During the winter races goggles are recommended; during the summer races they're a neccesity (and it's a real good idea to tobaggan with your mouth closed, too).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 10:29 PM

What ever happened to inner tubes and cardboard boxes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 09:53 AM

Whatever happened to snow shovels, sleds, and toboggans? Or just sliding down on the seat of your pants?

I wouldn't do the last in Hoosierland, though. You can never tell where those hills have been.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 11:01 AM

I've wiped out a couple of pairs of pants while glissading (the version of sliding on your butt when descending from a mountain peak). It's darned embarrassing to stand up and your undies are exposed to the world! (Good thing I had a pair of windpants to wear the rest of the way, and had to walk or standing glissade--you don't want to sit and slide in windpants or you'll go out of control very quickly).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 03:20 PM

I hed a dog thet would do the glissade thing on the rug in the front room. Funny how he knew bout glissadin' az he were a real dumbass obv a dog.
Jerry Lee Lewis would glissade on hiz piano oft times too. When my beautiful accordeen arribves I also will glissade down it's mother obv toilet seat keys.

Beedzerbya, it iz a forsc obv nature what canot be halted nor heeled. The mail must go through and ef you clikc here, you will see thet thar are many in my corner to help me through this time obv transendus!
The Legion obv Accordeenaires


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 05:39 PM

Okay, Tweed. I give up. I've done my best, but it looks like I've failed. (Insert sound of long mournful sigh HERE) It just breaks my heart to see another poor misguided soul who should know better succumb to the shallow, vacuous, cheap thrills of accordion playing.

Just remember when you get it all out of your system that there'll always be a seat for you at your local chapter of Accordions Anonymous. All you have to do is have the courage to admit that you are powerless over accordions, that you truly believe a power greater than yourself can rid you of the desire to play accordion, and that you are truly sorry for the pain and suffering your accordion playing has inflicted upon others.

Then you get to recite the

ACCORDIONS ANONYMOUS PRAYER

God, grant me the ability to play guitar,
The courage to smash accordions,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:54 PM

Ah showed mah BBW thet theyer pichur ov dem Accrdionate Legionaires and she had one, highly insightful based on long experience, remark to offer::

"Cute but VERY unprofessional: where are the music notes on their skirts?"

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:43 PM

I showed that there pitcher of them Accordionairs to the Idaho Legion and they have authorized me to "sue the shit outa them" over misusin' the word "Legion."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 08:01 PM

This is post # 4398. It's so nice to see that our membership has matured to the point where there's no mad scramble to be the one to post # 4400.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 08:02 PM

Then again, maybe it hasn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 08:03 PM

TA-DAH!


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