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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 31 Dec 13 - 07:32 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 13 - 07:40 PM
Amos 31 Dec 13 - 08:43 PM
gnu 31 Dec 13 - 08:55 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 13 - 10:21 PM
gnu 31 Dec 13 - 11:31 PM
Pete Jennings 01 Jan 14 - 07:14 AM
gnu 01 Jan 14 - 07:57 AM
Rapparee 01 Jan 14 - 10:32 AM
Acme 01 Jan 14 - 10:51 AM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord And The Giant Squid 01 Jan 14 - 10:51 AM
Amos 01 Jan 14 - 11:02 AM
gnu 01 Jan 14 - 11:41 AM
Acme 01 Jan 14 - 11:55 AM
Rapparee 01 Jan 14 - 05:10 PM
Pete Jennings 02 Jan 14 - 06:02 AM
gnu 02 Jan 14 - 07:34 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 08:15 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 08:17 AM
gnu 02 Jan 14 - 08:48 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Jan 14 - 11:44 AM
Pete Jennings 02 Jan 14 - 12:40 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 02:48 PM
Acme 02 Jan 14 - 03:22 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Jan 14 - 03:59 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 09:37 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Jan 14 - 10:57 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 14 - 11:19 PM
Amos 03 Jan 14 - 12:59 AM
Pete Jennings 03 Jan 14 - 05:46 AM
gnu 03 Jan 14 - 06:05 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 03 Jan 14 - 10:10 AM
Acme 03 Jan 14 - 03:56 PM
gnu 03 Jan 14 - 04:37 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 03 Jan 14 - 06:09 PM
gnu 03 Jan 14 - 06:18 PM
Amos 03 Jan 14 - 07:14 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 14 - 10:38 PM
GUEST 04 Jan 14 - 05:14 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 04 Jan 14 - 10:31 AM
Pete Jennings 04 Jan 14 - 10:35 AM
gnu 04 Jan 14 - 10:48 AM
gnu 04 Jan 14 - 03:17 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 04 Jan 14 - 03:49 PM
gnu 04 Jan 14 - 05:28 PM
Acme 04 Jan 14 - 10:06 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 14 - 10:31 PM
Ebbie 05 Jan 14 - 03:19 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 05 Jan 14 - 01:11 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 14 - 02:32 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 07:32 PM

I resolve to look like the guy in that tantric chair. No, I already do. I resolve not to brag about what I have so much to brag about and to be kind to those of the lower classes. Wait, that doesn't sound right. Umm...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 07:40 PM

gnu, regarding #3 -- why is that guy's head on backwards? You can tell by looking at his hat.

And #4 -- really, Budweiser??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 08:43 PM

Rapparree: Judge not, that ye be not judged. What if someone came along and said "Glue that Rapp back onto the horse..."? Huh? How would you feel? I am proud to be on Gnuzer's list, and a gentlemen accepts the refreshment offered.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 08:55 PM

I wrote this and it did not post. Amos... youse brought Busch... = Bud, no?
**************************************************************
#3... the peak is in the front so I have no idea what you are on about.

#4... they are Yanks and that's what they drink. Take it up with them. Now, I drink Canuck Bud and that is what you see in the pic. What you don't see is the Yank Bud they arrived with. But, note the Camel ciggie box next to the Bud. That there really makes me cringe. Smelled like Camels. But the banter! The laughter! The stories! The interaction! The tunes! Why, I even was able to sing the last line of each verse of a song with his nibs and play a wee bit of Rhan as the Bud dampened the pain and the trepidation. It was a glorious eve which I shall never forget... I haven't as much as touched the pack of camels or the ashtray of hardly smoked butts to this day. Each time I note these as I walk by, I remember, and I smile. Just as I note the two glasses on my dining room table which have never been touched since Beer was here and played my guitar for the last time before I sold it. Beer brought these special tumbler memento glasses with him, poured fine Scotch and made me partake against my will. We played and sang... my last time before the arthritis took it's terrible toll.

Hmmmm... in me cups. Feeling sorry perhaps. But, fact is, them there Bud drinkin Yanks kinda made my year in a way. It was certainly a highlight. No doubt. I must tell yas, I told A I could not accept his company, his visit, because of this and that. His answer was, essentially, "Fuck you. I will visit." Thanks Amos.

Oh, yeah. Rap. I gave you the same shit but there was no way I was gonna let you visit with yer Missus in tow. I mean, Amos' cousin took his shoes off when he came in my house. I said he should keep his shoes on. Seriously, not a good idea to go bare feet INSIDE my house. Imagine allowing a proper lady in my bachelor pad (sty)? And your better half too? Tsk tsk! I would be remiss!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 10:21 PM

Alright, gnu, YOU come HERE. So can Amos. So can Stilly and LH and Pete Jennings. Even Eiseley can come visit. Khandu. Tweed. Everybody, almost. MMario. Jacqui. Kendall. Joe Offer, even.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 13 - 11:31 PM

gnightgnu

See youse all next year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 07:14 AM

Hey Rap, I'll bring me geetah and a bottle o' Scotland's finest. Or two...

Happy New Year everyone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 07:57 AM

Whoever let the dogs out should bring them back in to thaw out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 10:32 AM

Don't got me no doggies or dogies. Had a woof in the back yard once, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 10:51 AM

My pack came in a little after 11pm so they weren't out for the shots or fireworks that typically are heard in the area at midnight. They slept like babies through the night.

It may be New Year's Day but it's also Wednesday. Hump day in a very short week. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord And The Giant Squid
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 10:51 AM

I have found a friend, and it isn't you. Squiddy is fun to be with and he is housebroken, usually.

Oh, yes. Your planet is slated for destruction as part of the Galactic Renovation and Improvement Plan Extraordinary (GRIPE). You might wish to move.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 11:02 AM

You and Squiddy can take responsibility zand provide the necessary transport, Mister Overprick. I need a single FTL vessel capable of supporting a family of ten, with belongings. Full AI interface just like "dorable Dora. And a well-terraformed destination planet. Otherwise, no deal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 11:41 AM

Well, almost all the Kissmeass decorations are boxed and half of the boxes are in the basement. I saved the meese for last... three plush toy meese carolling, demanding actually, that I bring them sitcky pudding. Their atlers move from side to side when they sing their parts. Now, iffin ya know anything about meese, ya know that when a bull "rocks antlers" and stares atchya, yer in deep shit if yer on open ground and ya gotta be reeeal careful about how ya calm him down. If clapping and talking don't work, ya turn sideways ta him and walk slow while ya keep looking back at him. If he runs at ya, ya throw yer roasry at him, shit yerself and zig-zag RUN!!! hoping the smell will put him off.

With the carolling meese, it's different. Ya just take out the batteries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 11:55 AM

Another reason why living in Canada can be hazardous to your health.

I've taken down lights and am putting a fair number of them into a bag to take over to the recycle swap area. I'm getting into LED bulbs next year, I'm tired of having to work my way down the string to find the one that is burned out or missing.

Nice to see the Galactic Overlord has made a friend. They can live on green jello forever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 14 - 05:10 PM

The GO and Squiddy! My, think of the offspring!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 06:02 AM

Christmas tree etc packed away yesterday so my guitar is back in its usual place in the living room, not stuck uo the corner behind the tree.

GO and squid offspring? Slippery customers no doubt...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 07:34 AM

-29C, -39WC. Nipply!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 08:15 AM

Wimp! It's -5C here with a wind chill of -5! Groan and moan and complain...just can't take it, can ya?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 08:17 AM

I meant to wish everyone a "Anos muy felicidad" but I forgot until now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 08:48 AM

I ain't complainin... my nipples are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 11:44 AM

Boy, that was one killer of a New Year's celebration. Took me all yesterday to recover. Renata is proud of me for not firin' off the tommygun at midnight like I usually do, and for keepin' the drinkin' down to a reasonable level...meanin' no pink elephants this time. So, last year was pretty damn good, and I expect next year will be even better. Ook! Ook! I got big plans for my unstoppable race to the White House once Obamba stumbles off into retirement. Just 2 more years till the White House becomes the Chimp House. I can't wait to see what kinda ludicrous bozo the Repubs pick to run against me in 2016. I am bettin' the Democrats will run my old pal Hillary next time, but I don't think she can beat me, no sir. Yessiree, things are lookin' brighter every day. And I see that we're gettin' nearer to the 50k too.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 12:40 PM

So, Chongz, last year was pretty damn good and you expect next year will be even better? What about THIS year??

Welcome back, even if'n you are as dumb as ever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 02:48 PM

Sorry I missed you at Thanksgiving, Chonga, but I've been practicing and practicing so maybe better luck next time, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 03:22 PM

I know you all won't be impressed, but this December was the 12th coldest on record for North Texas, since they started keeping records about 125 years ago. As a consequence, the dogs spent a lot of nights in the house and most of those nights one dog slept on my bed. I've always wondered if my tolerance for having someone else in the bed might be reduced after many years on my own, but that particular dog snores fairly regularly and I sleep through it. This is what this year's cold weather has taught me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 03:59 PM

Think yer smart, don'tcha, Pete? Like most humans...

It is colder than a well digger's ass here. Considerably colder. A good excuse for stayin' in and having some hot rum toddies.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 09:37 PM

Hey, I found Chonga's campaign song!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 10:57 PM

Hmm. Not bad, Rap. Pretty good music. At least Merv Griffin knew the difference between a monkey, a Chimp, and a Baboon. He was not a total ignoramus, like some folks I could mention. I never heard of a 3-way marriage like that, though. Not in Chicago, anyways. Maybe in Southern California...

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 14 - 11:19 PM

Baboons, chimps, monkeys, orangutangs, lemurs, gorillas, bonos -- all the same. They all failed to evolve into Homo Sapiens Sapiens and Nature has only one answer when you flunk evolution, Chonga.

Yeah -- extinction. An evolutionary dead end is dead. End. Sorry, old (fe)male. You're on the same path as the archaeocyathids -- useful for a while and then PFFT! gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 12:59 AM

Their brains were small, and they died. Evolution in a nutshell.

Chongo, why don't you work out a deal with Chinga and restore amicable relations for the New Year, huh? If you succeeded (iffen you can keep your trap shut that long) she might let you use the penthouse suit at her high-end Milwaukee establishment, when you need to lie low for a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 05:46 AM

I hafta admit we missed you Chongz.

But we used silencers so you probably didn't hear the shots...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 06:05 AM

Heh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 10:10 AM

I know ya missed me. I could feel yer pain, what with me not bein' around here for awhile, so I took pity on you bozos and I came back. Now you got another chance to sup at the flowin' spring of my wisdom and wit. You are some lucky buncha humans. I would not do this for just anyone. I would not, f'rinstance...do it for Woody Allen. Or Adam Sandler.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 03:56 PM

Adam Sandler - yuck. A lot of people wouldn't lift a finger for him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 04:37 PM

Apparently, SRS, a lot would as they have paid many $Ms of dollars to see his movies. I haven't seen any but, then again, I am tres swave in my humour tastes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 06:09 PM

Watchin' any movie with Adam Sandler in it is a painful process...sorta like havin' a tooth pulled slowwwwly with a vice grip or bein' sucked down a storm drain by a giant leech. I know apes and monkeys who love his movies, but you can't account for tastes, can you? I won't watch one unless I get paid first, and well paid. And then I watch it with earplugs in and a sleep mask over my eyes.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 06:18 PM

Oh rosy cheeks and ruby lips.
I own she has my heart enthralled.
So fill to me the parting glass.
Good night and joy be with you all.

Baby!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 07:14 PM

Rosy cheeks and ruby lips--that's your sistah, CHongo. That's Chinga to a T, assuming you give her time to get her face on right. I'm telling ya, I've seen the brochure for that Milwaukee penthouse suite.. You could do a lot worse. She could use you for bouncing and strong-arming, like, and your family would be made whole. Take my advise, and write her a letter smoothing things over. If a chimp can't eat crow, what kind of a man is he, after all?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 14 - 10:38 PM

Amos, chimps will eat other chimps, especially their own young. This will probably be part of Chonga's Policy Platform in 2016: "Do As Chimps Do -- My Solution To Overpopulation In The US".

Did you know that Cruz (the Texian chap) is a Canadian citizen? He said he was going to renounce his Canadian citizenship but he hasn't done anything about it yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 05:14 AM

He's not a Canuck... he was born in Calgary. Doesn't count.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 10:31 AM

Why should I cozy up to this Chinga nutcase who claims she is my sister? She ain't done nothin' but try to smear my name and she don't have nothin' I need or want. She is either crazy...or she's bein' well paid by my political opponents to spread false stories and damage my rep. I don't care what she says.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 10:35 AM

Yer sister's a nutcase? Runs in the family then...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 10:48 AM

I see the Cookie Monster got me a few posts back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 03:17 PM

Soooo... how do we "do" 50k? Has someone been designated to do it? Do we all stop posting and let them do it? Do we... excluding me... decide what is to be said so that it don't matter who posts 50k?

Yes, I am fuckin bored. Can't go outside and play with the other kids. Their mothers are keeping them inside on accounta hypothermia is a bitch*. A nasty, COLD bitch! And Monday? +10C and rain??? Gotta make sure the power packs and the genie are ready. This local warming is trouble with a capital 'F'! and that ryhmes with fer fuck sake would you knock that shit off already!? Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

* Alternate 'prick' at willie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 03:49 PM

Pete, you are livin' proof that evolution can lead to a complete dead end in certain cases. I sure hope you ain't had any children!

So, gnu, yer bored, huh? Well....try callin' 911 and act like you are yer own neighbor, see? And say, "That lunatic next door to me has been firin' off guns randomly from his house. He shot my dog and then shot the letter carrier. He says he wants to kill all the cops in this county. He has himself barricaded in there and we are all afraid to even go outside. Now he's firin' off mortar rounds! Send help fast!" Then give 'em the address to yer place and wait for the fun to begin. You will not be bored for long.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 05:28 PM

Shrooms would be my guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 10:06 PM

It is time for everyone to take a time out and read a good book.

I'm rereading The Hobbit before I reread The Lord of the Rings. That'll keep me entertained and out of trouble for a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 14 - 10:31 PM

Weather report -- but not here!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 03:19 AM

Back there a ways, someone mentioned Woody Allen. I read a quote of his the other day that still makes me laugh: "Eternity is a long, long time- especially toward the end."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 01:11 PM

You wanta read (or reread) a really good book? Check out the one Amos wrote: Beyond the Cascade. Renata picked it up first and she loved it, so she kept buggin' me till I read it too. I was surprised how good it was. Really surprised. Given how good the guy writes, I can't fathom that he don't want to vote for me and that he hangs around with that nutbar Chinga, but that's just how it is. Some things are beyond explainin'...like the wallpaper at Duffy's Bar...but I digress.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 14 - 02:32 PM

Yeah, Chonga, I guess Renata read it to you. I know YOU can't read because chimps ain't that evolved. If you think you are, how about a discussion on Gabriel Garcia Marquez' "Cien Años de Solidad" or Joyce's "Ulysses" or Shakespeare's "Henry V" -- or perhaps you can suggest a book written BY a chimp? Hahahahaha!


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