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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 29 May 04 - 10:53 AM
Rustic Rebel 29 May 04 - 02:20 AM
Acme 29 May 04 - 01:16 AM
beardedbruce 28 May 04 - 09:37 PM
GUEST,lurker 28 May 04 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 05:52 PM
Amos 28 May 04 - 02:30 PM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 02:00 PM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 01:58 PM
Amos 28 May 04 - 12:49 PM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 12:07 PM
freda underhill 28 May 04 - 10:22 AM
GUEST,MMario 28 May 04 - 10:04 AM
Amos 28 May 04 - 10:00 AM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 09:34 AM
GUEST,MMario 28 May 04 - 09:07 AM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 08:59 AM
freda underhill 28 May 04 - 08:08 AM
JennyO 28 May 04 - 08:02 AM
Amos 27 May 04 - 02:53 PM
GUEST 27 May 04 - 02:45 PM
Rapparee 27 May 04 - 02:01 PM
Amos 27 May 04 - 12:47 PM
Rapparee 27 May 04 - 12:07 PM
Acme 27 May 04 - 10:23 AM
GUEST,Ponderer of the inpondrable 27 May 04 - 09:08 AM
Rapparee 27 May 04 - 09:01 AM
Amos 26 May 04 - 11:33 PM
GUEST,lurker 26 May 04 - 06:50 PM
Acme 26 May 04 - 04:44 PM
Rapparee 26 May 04 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 26 May 04 - 03:57 PM
Amos 26 May 04 - 03:47 PM
GUEST,James Tiberius Kirk 26 May 04 - 03:43 PM
Amos 26 May 04 - 03:21 PM
GUEST 26 May 04 - 03:11 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 26 May 04 - 03:10 PM
GUEST,Leonard Nimoy 26 May 04 - 03:09 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 26 May 04 - 03:04 PM
GUEST,MMario 26 May 04 - 02:35 PM
Acme 26 May 04 - 02:22 PM
Amos 26 May 04 - 01:03 PM
Little Hawk 26 May 04 - 12:41 PM
Amos 26 May 04 - 12:31 PM
freda underhill 26 May 04 - 11:52 AM
GUEST 26 May 04 - 11:28 AM
freda underhill 26 May 04 - 11:26 AM
GUEST,MMario 26 May 04 - 11:23 AM
Amos 26 May 04 - 11:16 AM
GUEST 26 May 04 - 10:31 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 04 - 10:53 AM

What you need to do, Rapaire, is put "Real Dolls" into Google, do a search, and click on the first link that shows up on the search page....

Try it. Look around. And don't forget to read the Howard Stern testimonial and all the other anonymous letters about the product(s).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 May 04 - 02:20 AM

Rapaire, with all those big letters and colors, I just think you sound horny.
You look horny, you act horny, you read horny.
Horny is it?
Hornier than I have ever known
you to be horny before.
Put on a pair of those big buck horns, horny.
HORNY.
Horny like it makes a jello jiggle.
Horny like it makes you want to giggle,
horny like it wounds a worms wiggle.
HORNY.

I respect horny.


Hey MOABS, wish you were here. I'm doing another week-end bash and I wish you all were here but I only ask you to do me a favor and in the morning, please, get naked and do a sun dance for me.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 May 04 - 01:16 AM

Yeah, well, beardedbruce, don't build it out in the garage unless your neighbors have all moved away. If your bomb's anything like your poetry, I'll look for a puff of smoke instead of a mushroom cloud.

Amos did post a request, Rapaire. He said "Genuine (Original Equipment) Females Only."

I guess that leaves me out--the plumbing's right, but I'm missing a couple of bits of the original equipment. . .

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 28 May 04 - 09:37 PM

"wow! nuklee-ear bombs! Take me back to grammer school. (Very few people realize just how easy it is to build a nuclear bomb - assuming a)you can get the fissionables (given the rate they go missing - not THAT difficult) and b) you don't need the workers to survive."

Actually, quite a few of us know how easy it is.... I could teach a 12 year old to build one...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,lurker
Date: 28 May 04 - 06:12 PM

Sure sounds better than lurking...do either of you have one of those palm buzzer things?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 05:52 PM

Fondalees Wanted!!


Genetically female volunteers needed to serve as
fondalees in the


Great Fond Du Lac
Fondling Follies



to be contested between


Rapaire,


a sensitive, intelligent, yet macho guy from the manly
state of Idaho, and


Amos,


who hails from Southern California, and you know
what sort of people live there.


This will be based upon scientific principles, and will
use the latest in fondling measurement tools, including
nifty wireless stuff and computer equipment that will
make NASA jealous.


Rapaire has asked for genetically female fondalees, but
Amos has expressed no preference.


Date and venue dependant upon the weather.


RSVP


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 04 - 02:30 PM

Well, have you heard of the Gondles, down in Fond du Lac?
I say, have you heard of the Fondles down in Fond du Lac?
They would make a rich man give up money, make a po' gal break her back!...


Hmm -- a technical challenge would be to provide real time scoring without all the sensors interfering with the contestants. Maybe 64-bit audio stream recording with multi-node parallel processing analysis to indicate the dimensions of heavy breathing baselined against normal rest state, co-tabulated with infrared detection of epidermal flush indices. Could be done with completely wireless systems, remote sensors and such.

Okay, big R!! You got a deal. Fond Du Lac it is, but no skeeters and weather must be clement (i.e., temp >65 and < 80 F., humidity < 80%.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 02:00 PM

The Fond Du Lac Fondles have GOT to be better than the Presidential Debates.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 01:58 PM

Fondalee, fondala, fondalee, fondala hahahahahahahahaha...sorry, that song makes me a bit giddy.

This should be on neutral ground. I propose Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin. The Great Fond Du Lac Fondle!!

If the ground is acceptable, I'll put out a call for volunteer fondalees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 04 - 12:49 PM

I really must protest at this self serving allocation of duties. I don't think I will vote for your scheme, Rapaire. In fact I am sure I am as well or better qualified as you at fondling, and I challenge you to a fondling contest!! You provide the fondlees, I'll bring the beer, and we'll abide by the judgement of those fondled. Limited to volunteer fondlees only.

Maybe an ad in the Pennysaver or somepn... Fondlees Wanted!! Free Beer!! Genuine (Original Equipment) Females Only!!

But don't go getting too conceited -- bear in mind you are talking to the Founder of the Church of the Golden Globes and the Temple of the Divine Curve. Haptic Delicacy is my middle name.

Fondly,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 12:07 PM

No, I git the beer, brats and fondling because that way there'll be a scandal in my (short) administration. I could take the oath and then when I'm vested for the retirement bennies resign 'cause my conscience won't let me continue to serve whilst living a lie.

I'll do down in history as truthful and even admirable for it! If I fondled right, I could even be a rear admirable!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 May 04 - 10:22 AM

well, at least we've moved on from...

the blindingly obvious, which is obviously not blinding..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 May 04 - 10:04 AM

wow! nuklee-ear bombs! Take me back to grammer school. (Very few people realize just how easy it is to build a nuclear bomb - assuming a)you can get the fissionables (given the rate they go missing - not THAT difficult) and b) you don't need the workers to survive.

yes - it is simple enough for schoolchildren to do it. The plans are on the internet, I am sure (haven't looked) but were published in quite a few different magazines during the 60's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 04 - 10:00 AM

I don't know much about implosion type initiators except that they are small and expensive and are expected to cause fusion to start by reaction to an implosion of fissionable atoms. So maybe I could get transferred to fondling or beer consumption.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 09:34 AM

I got it! I got it!

How about:

Boosting the matter-energy conversion of lithium VI deutride in fission-initiated fusion reactions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who can resist talkin' 'bout makin' thermonukler bombs better???? Us real men kin talk 'bout boosting the matter-energy conversion of lithium VI deutride in fission-initiated fusion reactions and them real wimmin kin bring us cold beer 'n' hot brats!!

Amos kin do implosion-type initiators, and MMario kin do gun-type. Bee-dubya kin talk 'bout the lithium VI deutride, an' since I'm a candydate fer President I can't 'sociate with such war-like talk, so I'll jist eat the brats an' drink the beer an' fondle the wimmin.

Then I'll talk 'bout how we're studyin' up on how to git more bang fer the taxpayer's buck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 May 04 - 09:07 AM

well - option "f" is definately out - WAY to effete a subject.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 08:59 AM

I'm male (at least, I was when I...checked a few minutes ago), but I simply CANNOT stomach talking about Britney Spears, et al. So, would you rather talk about

a) belching and other bodily expulsions?
b) guns 'n' huntin'?
c) football?
d) wimmin?
e) what we did in The War?
f) Werner Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and its implications for our ability to ascertain knowledge about the cusp of the Blue Event Horizon?
g) my best drunk?
h) making armpit noises?
i) spittin'?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 May 04 - 08:08 AM

it's all blindingly obvious, whatever thread we have , at some point men start talking about....
















William Shatner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 28 May 04 - 08:02 AM

And the exercise is Pilates. Don't know about laying on balls tho - sounds kinda painful - but then I wouldn't know, cos I'm a grrrrl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 04 - 02:53 PM

Palm Pilate washed his hands, and said, "WHat IS truth?".

Palm Pilot just directs the movement of the palm. Different.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 27 May 04 - 02:45 PM

he does WHAT with WHO's Balls?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 04 - 02:01 PM

Wasn't Palm Pilot the Procurator of Judea who was in power way back when? Or am I thinking about the guy who makes you lay on balls and calls it exercise?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 04 - 12:47 PM

Rapaire --

You are your own Palm pilot. Who else??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 04 - 12:07 PM

So THAT'S what happened to my Palm Pilot (this is not a reference to onanism or self-abuse or masturbation or...).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 04 - 10:23 AM

Why on earth would you load the entire thing? You might need some counselling, lurker. That's a self-defeating self-flagellating thing to do. Always click on the number, never on the thread!

(Don't ever load this whole thread if you're on a laptop--your battery might catch fire from the effort!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ponderer of the inpondrable
Date: 27 May 04 - 09:08 AM

the wisdom of the ages is enclosed within the loving arms of MOAB

but only you can determine if it is worth it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 04 - 09:01 AM

My thoughts exactly. If you can't take the wait, never masturbate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:33 PM

Lurker:

No, you should steer clear of it in the future.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,lurker
Date: 26 May 04 - 06:50 PM

I've been waiting for ten minutes for this thread to load...was it worth it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 May 04 - 04:44 PM

Good! Shatner, eat your heart out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:58 PM

3300! I did it!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:57 PM

3299...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:47 PM

Captain Kirk:

I wasn't talking to you, but to a dull witted wannabe actor who comes around these parts from time to time looking for a role to play. Now you have taken all my wrath on a s some kind of personal insult, right? That was inaccurate and illogical.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,James Tiberius Kirk
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:43 PM

You wound me, Amos. Is it for this that I gave the best years of my life battling Klingons and phaser-wielding maniacs so that you and you ilk could produce more squalling brats on an insignificant planet rotating around a minor star called Sol? Is it for this that I went boldly where no man had gone before? Is it for this that...

Naw. Couldn't have been for this. I know what it was for. It was for this great place I've got, the horses, the barbecued steaks, the glory, and the leisure time. My 4 x 4 and my jacuzzi. That's what it was for.

So screw you, Amos. I laugh in your general direction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:21 PM

Bill:

Get bent. F**ck off. Get out of here. Go. Leave. Avaunt, aroint, begone. You are a nuisance and a fat distraction, a Bad Actor and an Overweight Person. Your input is unwanted here, your advices unsought, your humor unfunny, your insight unwise, your reflections shallow, and your compassion unfeeling.

Go away, get thee gone, get thee to a nunnery, be off, hie thee hence, get lost, take a long hike off a short pier, take a powder, get on your bike, disappear, make like ice and melt, go to, go elsewhere.

You are unwanted in these sacred MOAB halls.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:11 PM

for the best of all reasons - to annoy Shatner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:10 PM

For the hell of it, Leonard, that's why.

Sorry, folks, it seems that you are on your own on this one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Leonard Nimoy
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:09 PM

I fail to see any logical reason why I should post to this thread or even make any appearance on this forum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:04 PM

I've been wondering if I should have mercy on you poor obsessed people and not bother posting here when it hits the next 100. I could call up Leonard and have him do it instead, I suppose. Or we could just leave you alone for awhile to stew in your own juice. Decisions, decisions...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 May 04 - 02:35 PM

Nimoy played an excellent Tevya (fiddler on the Roof) and quite a passable Arthur (Camelot).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 May 04 - 02:22 PM

Isn't anyone going to give Leonard Nimoy a chance to take us up to the next level?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 01:03 PM

Dear Gawd, can't you find something else to play with Little Hawk? Shatner is growing REALLY old.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 May 04 - 12:41 PM

Cross your fingers, folks. We might get another visit from the Shatman soon!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 12:31 PM

I think GUEST must be male...or wish to be.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:52 AM

charming.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:28 AM

I've been posting on the MOAB
All the live-long day!
I've been posting on the MOAB
Just to pass the time away!

Can't you smell the BS rising?
Rising each hour of the morn?
Can't you smell the BS rising;
Dinah won't you blow MY horn.

dinah won't ya blow,
Dinah won't ya blow?
Dinah won't you blow my HORN!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:26 AM

Amos, not only do you have your very own MOAB, you ARE a MOAB.
it's like that medieval etching of the guy sticking his head through and looking out to see the cosmos (you know the one I mean..)
we are immersed in MOAB, we are living breathing MOAB, and this thread is a sort of hint of reality, which is screaming all around us... MOAB! we think we have a spine, but its a MOAB, we think we have an intestine, its a MOAB, this long thread is like a cyber threadworm, devouring us from within, while we keep consuming, unaware that we are being .. consumed.

good night all

freda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:23 AM

Nobody knows the MOAB I've seen....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:16 AM

If I had a MOAB of my own
I wouldn't bitch or whine, or moan
About the problems that I see
Or difficult reality
I'd never want to leave my home
Or go off to the woods alone
If I had a MOAB of my own
BS would be my Blarney Stone
With a MOAB of my very own!
I could sit and sing a MOAB song
And BS all the whole day long!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 04 - 10:31 AM

It was a slow day on the MOAB. The scents were veering from the earthy to the humourous and back again like a pendulum.


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