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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 05 Jan 04 - 11:01 AM
Amos 05 Jan 04 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 05 Jan 04 - 08:31 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jan 04 - 11:49 PM
Amos 04 Jan 04 - 11:20 PM
khandu 04 Jan 04 - 10:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jan 04 - 10:23 PM
khandu 04 Jan 04 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 04 - 10:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jan 04 - 04:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jan 04 - 04:49 PM
Amos 04 Jan 04 - 02:02 PM
Tweed 04 Jan 04 - 01:49 PM
CarolC 04 Jan 04 - 01:35 PM
khandu 04 Jan 04 - 12:28 PM
CarolC 04 Jan 04 - 11:33 AM
Rapparee 04 Jan 04 - 12:28 AM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 11:16 PM
CarolC 03 Jan 04 - 11:13 PM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 11:11 PM
CarolC 03 Jan 04 - 11:09 PM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM
CarolC 03 Jan 04 - 11:02 PM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 10:50 PM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 10:44 PM
CarolC 03 Jan 04 - 10:30 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 03 Jan 04 - 09:19 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jan 04 - 09:15 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 04 - 06:26 PM
Amos 03 Jan 04 - 10:31 AM
khandu 03 Jan 04 - 01:08 AM
khandu 02 Jan 04 - 10:56 PM
Amos 02 Jan 04 - 05:25 PM
Cluin 02 Jan 04 - 04:42 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 04 - 04:28 PM
Amos 02 Jan 04 - 03:42 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 04 - 02:17 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jan 04 - 01:13 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 04 - 12:25 PM
Amos 02 Jan 04 - 12:23 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 04 - 12:16 PM
Amos 02 Jan 04 - 11:11 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 04 - 09:08 AM
Amos 02 Jan 04 - 02:54 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jan 04 - 11:17 PM
GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones 01 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM
GUEST,Captain Nigel West 01 Jan 04 - 10:07 PM
GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones 01 Jan 04 - 12:35 AM
GUEST,Captain Nigel West 31 Dec 03 - 11:58 PM
khandu 31 Dec 03 - 11:24 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 11:01 AM

Ah, but my TRUE first name -- Michael -- begins with an M. AND it is so reflective of me, since in translation it means "Who is like God" or "Godlike" or "Like God."

Oh, so true, so very, very true....

(If you doubt that meaning, if you thing that I have fibbed or stretched the truth on this...check here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 08:57 AM

Rapire:

"Rapaire" begins with R, silly!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 08:31 AM

M hasn't been fully covered!

It's the most wonderful letter in the alphabet, too. It begins words that express such beautiful sentiments as Motherhood, Mother, Music, Mayhem, Madness, Murder, Manslaughter, Moose, Massacre, Money, Marijuana, and Magnificence -- not to mention Mudcat and MOAB itself.

And, of course, it's the first letter in my name. THAT alone would make it worthy of awe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 11:49 PM

"Declined"? How can something that has yet to rise above the level of "festering ooze" possibly decline?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 11:20 PM

Has the once great MOAB now declined
To memories of spelling rhymes
With which their minds were hypnotized
When young, by Mad Ave jingle guys?

B-o
N-O
M-O
Bonomo!

O! O! O!
It's Bonomo's
Cannnndy!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 10:31 PM

"N-E-S-T-L-E-S
Nestle makes the very best
Chocolate"

Seems like a moose sang the jingle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 10:23 PM

Ladies and Gentlemen, a big round of applause for tonight's guest on the "Crap We Haven't Beat to Death on the MOAB Show"......

NESTLE'S CRUNCH BARS

Is the proper name for the item "Nestle's Crunch Bar" or "Nestle Crunch Bar"? Is the possessive "s" in there or not? Seems like I remember a jingle that definitely said "Nestle's", but I've been known to be wrong about far more important things.

Anyway, Nestle (or Nestle's) Crunch Bars were probably my first major addiction. Fortunately, I've been clean for around 40 years now. I kicked the habit cold-turkey when the price went up from ten cents to fifteen cents. It was tough making that mile-long walk home from school without the Crunch Bar, but, hey, I was a tough kid and no candy bar was gonna beat me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 10:18 PM

HAW!!! I am exhibit 32!! (For the eyes of Moabites only!!)

Poor bwl went into shock at the sight!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 10:11 PM

Khandu is an exhibitionist???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 04:49 PM

Upon further consideration, I now totally recant my claim to have seen exhibit "32". I have never seen exhibit "32" in the past, I am not seeing exhibit "32" at the present, and I have no intention of seeing exhibit "32" in the future.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 04:49 PM

I have seen exhibit "32" and, let me tell you. it is not a pretty thing. In fact, if I'm ever questioned by the authorities I will deny having seen it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 02:02 PM

I would say neither insanely clever NOR cleverly insane but perhaps sadly mad. A sadly mad khandu!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 01:49 PM

Good Lord, khandarz has fallen over the edge once again. It is time for the ice water submersions coupled with simultaneously administered electro-shock. I tried in vain to locate Exhibits C,G,D,2 and 32 and their ilk but came up empty yet again. Unless.....this is a cleverly disguised code for a song's CHORD CHART!! HAW, in which case he is not insane after all. Insanely CLEVER PERHAPS BUT NOT CLEVERLY INSANE!!!

It is no wonder that myself and others of my ilk are only dukes and royal bottom wipers. Long Live KHANDU, KING OF ALL MISSISSIPPI!! Wisest of all rulers, leader of buffoons and cultivater of all things mad and unrulable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 01:35 PM

No more flattop. Just CarolC the Strange Sailor Crapper Queen now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 12:28 PM

Hours in the planning!! Proudly introducing, without further ado. . .

THE MOAB LOTTERY!!!!!!!!!!

YES!!!! YOU CAN BECOME THE OWNER OF OUR WONDERFUL MOAB MASCOT*! YES. . . YOUR'S TO DO WITH WHAT YOU WILL!!!
BE THE ENVY OF YOUR FRIENDS (if you have any)!!
BE THE BANE OF YOUR COMMUNITY!!
HAVE YOUR PHOTO TAKEN WITH A PHOTO OF THE MOABITE OF YOUR CHOICE!!!
GET YOUR OWN COPY OF "kHANDU's LIST OF MUDCATTER'S I DON'T LIKE"!!
YES!!!
YOU CAN BE SOMEBODY!!!


for
details, have your credit card ready & PM any Moabite!
Contest not open to any Moabite, their families or loved ones, nor to Carol the flattop Strange Sailor Crapper Queen, nor to members of the Polka Circus & their ilk.(See exhibit "C".)


(The MOAB Lottery is not affiliated with any subversive group of perverted anarchists & their ilk, nor does it condone such sickening behaviour, unless it is done in good taste** by fellow Moabites & their ilk!)(See exhibit "C".)


*The Moab Mascot is subject to change at the discretion of any Moabite's whim or fancy. (See exhibit "2".)



**"good taste" is a loose term to be defined by any Moabite's whim or fancy. (See exhibits "D-G".)


A small substantial fee (to be defined by any Moabite's whim or fancy)is required for registration. (See
exhibit "C".)

All "exhibits" are property of MOAB & shall not be viewed by the non-Moabites & their ilk. (See exhibit 32)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 11:33 AM

You've got yours attached to a computer, Rapaire? Very interesting. Spaw keeps his rolled up on his 'Super 2000 Roll-A-Matic'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 04 - 12:28 AM

You used a keyboard? Wow! Mine's attached to a computer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:16 PM

How could anyone with any logic deny such hard evidence? I'm convinced!!!!

Kim C


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:13 PM

Third picture from the top. See that keyboard on the table there? That's where I typed it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:11 PM

Who am I to doubt Carol the flattop Sailor, the Crapper Queen???

Kim C


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:09 PM

You don't believe me, do you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM

Fancy that! I was the one who posted as Kim C!!

Small world, eh?

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 11:02 PM

Yes I did too post to it!!!!

Check out the post from flattop. That was me!!!

He asked me to do it, and I couldn't refuse.

(Nice dismount, don't you think?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 10:50 PM

1800 posts in eight months! WOW!! That comes to more than 37 posts per month!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 10:44 PM

Well, Miss Memorypants, you did not post to it!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 10:30 PM

I remember that poem from when it was first posted.

(JtS says I'm easily entertained.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 09:19 PM

Any sap that would freely choose margarine over butter would probably eat a buncha plastic grapes too...or a rubber banana.

CC


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 09:15 PM

Thanks to Amos for his eloquent post on the subject of Lorna Doones.

Now, regarding today's subject,

MARGARINE....

There is a brand of margarine called "I Can't Believe it's Not Butter!". There's another one called "Move Over, Butter!" I am waiting for one called, "Holy Fuckin' Shit! It Ain't Butter!"

That is all I have to say on the subject except to note that "margarine" begins with an "M" which is the 13th letter in the alphabet. That means that this stupid list is half-way finished. For that, I am grateful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 06:26 PM

No word from Spaw yet. Uh-oh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 10:31 AM

UHoh.....khandu dissin' Spawboy. Film at eleven!! UHoh.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 03 Jan 04 - 01:08 AM

While traipsing through the Mudcat archive, I came across this forgotten bit of poetry which I deemed worthy of MOAB!:


Subject: A poem by Spaw???
From: GUEST,khandu - PM
Date: 31 Jan 01 - 07:37 PM

This is exciting!
In an old curio shop in Memphis, I found an old magazine. It certainly wasn't the type of mag that I, khandu, would subscribe to; however, having never heard of it before, I purchased it. It was an oddly put-together mag, very limp. It was titled "LESSER MEN- the magazine for the not-so-well endowed". This issue was dated 11-79 and featured "Readers Responses".

I came across this poem near the front of the mag. It was written by "Anon. from Ohio".

It sounds like Spaw to me!

Spaw, you are a wonderful poet! You should share your poetry with your fellow Catters!

So without further ado, A Poem by Spaw:

"ODE TO MY PHALLUS

O Phallus, my phallus, why art thou so teeny?

T'would be a Prize, if ye were even half the size

Of an Oscar Meyer weinie.

O phallus my phallus, why art thou so teeny


They taught me much, they taught me well

To mine own self be true

To do my own thing

Alas, my own thing is much too little to do

O Phallus my phallus why art thou so wee

T'would give me much pleasure if thou wouldst only measure

At least two inches, or three

O Phallus, my Phallus

Why art thou so wee

I saw her there, so beautiful and fair

I was filled with desire

To stoke her lust into a bright flame,

Into a raging fire.

Sweet words, wine ,and poetry

Music so soft,

Surely that would do the trick

She giggled and tittered

Then she guffawed

"I've not even seen a candle with such a small wick!"

Have I angered the ancients, those powerful gods

Who created this kit'n'kaboodle

That they should give others such wonderful rods

And leave me with this pitiful noodle.

O Phallus, my Phallus

Why art thou so damned short!

The End"

I, khandu, of course, cannot relate to the problem expressed in the poem. Yet, I am moved by his sense of futility and inadequacy.

You are good, Spaw.

khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 10:56 PM

"The Khandu of Cookiedom!! "

I luvv this craked place!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 05:25 PM

LOL!!! You are the whackiest librarian (rampant, on a field mental) I have ever had the good fortune to know, man!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Cluin
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 04:42 PM

and the operator says 40 cents more... for the next... three... minutes...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 04:28 PM

Amos is owned by Famous Amos, LLC or Famous Amos Singapore or Association for Morbid Obesity Support or a bunch of meteorological satellites or Andy or...hello. How are you? Put on that nice jacket? Why does it button in back? And my hands won't stick out of the sleeves. You'll wha


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 03:42 PM

Rapaire, Rapaire:

Your answer is non-responsive, counselor!   :>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 02:17 PM

Popeye Spinach products are owned by River Ranch Fresh Foods, LLC.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 01:13 PM

Don't worry, Olive, I'll saves ya! Line up, ya swabs, and salute the Presidink, cos he is the commander-in-chief and admiral of this ship! I may be an orfink but I ain't stupid and I ain't disloyal to the red, white, and blue, cross me heart and hope ta die!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 12:25 PM

Marmite is owned by Unilever, who also owns Lipton and Hellmans, among many other brands.

Vegemite is owned by...Kraft.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 12:23 PM

Deareast Rapaire, you are a true wonder of Rampant Librarianism!!

These lists bring up a serious question -- how many of these products add any value to the lives of those who buy them? A hapenny of flour, sugar, and food-dyes and you get a hundred different kinds of junk food...yes? Eye candy is great stuff to see, but should we feed it to our children or flood third-world markets with it?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 12:16 PM

Coca Cola owns, worldwide:
(as of 12/31/02)

A&W *         Ades         Alive         Almdudler Ambasa         American         Andifrut         Andina Nectar Aqua         Aquactive         Aquana         Aquarius Aqvaris         Arwa         Aybal Bacardi Mixers         Barq's         Beat         Belte Beverly         Bibo         Bimbo         Bimbo Break Bistrone         Bjare         BlackFire         Bom Bit Maesil Bonaqua/Qa         BPM         Bright And Early         Burn Buzz caffeine free Coca-Cola         caffeine free Coke light/diet Coke         Cal King         Calypso Canada Dry *         Canning's         Cappy         Caprice Carvers         Chafresco         Chaho         Charrua Cheers         Cherry Coke         Chinotto         Chinotto Light
Chippewa         Chivalry         Ciel         Citra Coke II         Coca-Cola         Cocoteen         Cresta * Cristal         Crush *         Crystal         Cumberland Gap Dannon *         Dasani Water         Delaware Punch         DESCA
diet A&W *         diet Almdudler         diet Andina Nectar/Andina Nectar Lt         diet Barq's diet Canada Dry *         diet Charrua         diet Cherry Coke         diet Coke/Coca-Cola light diet Coke/Coca-Cola light with lemon         diet Crush *         diet Dr Pepper *         diet Fanta diet Inca Kola         diet Kia Ora *         diet Krest         diet Lift diet Lilt         diet Mello Yello         diet Minute Maid Soft Drink         diet Mr Pibb
diet Nestea Cool         diet Nestea/Nestea Light         diet Oasis *         diet Schweppes * diet Sprite/Sprite Light         diet Squirt *         diet Tai         diet Vanilla Coke Disney Hundred Acre Wood         Disney Xtreme Coolers         Dorna         Dr Pepper * Drim Eight O'Clock         Eight O'Clock Fountain         Eight O'Clock Litro Pack         Emblem
Eva         Evian * Fanta         Finley         Fioravanti         Five Alive
Fontana         Fraser & Neave         Freezits         Fresca Frescolita         Freskyta         Frestea         Frisco Frugos         Fruit Labo         Fruit Tree         Fruitia Fruitopia         Fruitopia Tea         Fruktime         Frutina Frutonic         Funchum Georgia         Georgia Club         Georgia Gold         Gini * Gira         Gold Spot         Grand Blue Grapette
Guarana Jesus         H2OK         Hanul Yeon Cha         Hawai         Hi Spot *
Hi-C         Hit         Horizon         Huang Ice Cold Mix         Ice Dew         Ice Mountain         Inca Kola Itu         Izvorul Alb Jaz Cola         Jet Tonic         Jinmeile         Jolly Juice   Joy         Jurassic Well Kapo Axion         Kapo         Kapo Super Power         Kia Ora * Kilimanjaro         Kin         Kin Light         Kinley KMX         Kochakaden         Koumi Soukai         Krest
Kuat         Kuat Light         Kuli   Leafs         Lift         Lilt         Limca
Limonade         Linnuse         Love Body Maaza         Mad River         Magnolia         Magnolia Funchum   Magnolia Zip         Manzana Mia         Marocha         Master Chill Master Pour         Mazoe         Meijin         Mello
Mello Yello         Mer         Mezzo         Miami Mickey Mouse Migoro-Nomigoro         Milo         Minaqua Minute Maid         Minute Maid Juice To Go         Minute Maid Soft Drink         Mireille   Mr Pibb Nagomi         Nalu         Namthip Water         Natua Nectarin         Nescafe         Nestea         Nestea Cool Nestle         Nevada         New Vegitabeta         Nihon Alps Mori No Mizudayori
Nordic Mist         Northern Neck         Nusta         
Oasis *         Odwalla         OK         Old Colony * Paani         Parle         Pepe Rico         Pilskalna Planet Java         Play         Pocket Dr         Poiana Negri Poms         Ponkana         Ponkana Litro Pack         Pop
Portello         POWERade         POWERade Light         Private Label Pulp         Pump Qoo         Quatro         Ramblin' Root Beer         Real Gold         Red Flash         Red Lion Refresh Tea         Rimzim         Rio         Ripe N Ready
Risco         Riwa         Roses *         Royal Tru Samurai         Santiba         Santolin         Sarsi Saryusaisai         Schweppes *         Seagrams *         Seasons Seiryusabo         Seltz         Sensation         Sensun Senzao         Shock         Simba         Simply Apple Simply Orange         Slap         Smart         Sokenbicha
Solo *         Sonfil         Soonso o         Sparkle Sparletta         Sparletta Iron Brew         Splash         Sport * Sports Plus         Sprite         Spur *         Squirt *
Stoney Ginger Beer         Sun Valley         Sunfill         Sunkist *
Supa         Superkools         Surge Tab         Tab Clear         Tab X-Tra         Tahitian Treat *   Tai         Tasters Choice         Tavern         Tea World Collection
Thums Up         Tian Yu Di         Tiky *         Top Toppur         Tropical         Tuborg         Turkuaz Tutti * Urge Vanilla Coke         Vegitabeta         VICA         Vita Vital         Vital O         Vitingo Wannabe         Water Salad         Wink *         Winnie the Pooh Yangguang         Youki         Yumi Zip                           
* In Select Markets


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 11:11 AM

If there's shlock on the table, there's Nabisco!! It is the Fox News of Gustatory Events and Services! The Rupert Murdoch of foodstuff!! The Khandu of Cookiedom!! I would be a different person today if not for all the fine Nabisco products that went in to my gut as a child -- chocolate covered graham crackers, oreos, peanut-butter cookies...the list is almost endless. I might have grown up a far better person. Should I suie them for damage to personality? And while we're at it how about those brainless mind-fatties, Buffalo Bob and the Mouseketeers and Captain Video??!! My world view was irreparably distorted at a tender age!! I yam disss-KUSted, Olive! :>))

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 09:08 AM

Nabisco used to be known as the National Biscuit Company. Nabisco is owned by Kraft Foods, which also owns General Foods International Coffees, Gevalia, Maxim, Maxwell House, Sanka, some of Starbucks*, Yuban, Kool-Aid Slushies, Country Time, Crystal Light, Kool-Aid, Tang,
some of Capri Sun*, Kool-Aid Bursts, 40-30-30 Meal Replacement Drink Mix, Oscar Mayer, Louis Rich, Taco Bell dinner kits, some of California Pizza Kitchen*, DiGiorno, Jack's, Tombstone, Lunchables,
It's Pasta Anytime, Kraft Macaroni & Cheese dinner, Kraft Easy Mac,
Velveeta, Boca meat alternative, Cold Pack Cheese, Woody's, Breakstone's, Knudsen, Light n' Lively, Philadelphia cream cheese, Temp-tee, Athenos, Churny, Cracker Barrel cheese, Handi-Snacks, Harvest Moon, Hoffman's, Polly-O, Kraft Deluxe, Old English, Cheez Whiz, Kraft Deli Deluxe, Kraft Free Singles, Kraft Singles, Kraft 2% Milk Singles, Easy Cheese, Baker's chocolate and coconut, Calumet baking powder, Bull's-Eye, Postum, Shake 'n Bake, Oven Fry, Grey Poupon, Sauceworks, Cream of Wheat, Milk-Bone, Dream Whip, D-Zerta,
Jell-O, Knox Gelatine, Minute, Balance energy bars, Ever Fresh, Cool Whip, Parkay (Puerto Rico only), Certo, Sure-Jell, Claussen, Honey Maid, Nilla, Oreo, Post cereals, Alpha-Bits, Banana Nut Crunch, Blueberry Morning, Cinna-Cluster Raisin Bran, Cranberry Almond Crunch,   Frosted Shredded Wheat, Fruit & Fibre, Golden Crisp, Grape-Nuts, Great Grains, Honey Bunches of Oats, Honeycomb, Nabisco (Puerto Rico only),   Natural Bran Flakes, Oreo O's, some of Pebbles*, Raisin Bran,   Shredded Wheat, Shredded Wheat 'n Bran, Spoon Size Shredded Wheat, Toasties, Waffle Crisp, 100% Bran, Rice Minute, Good Seasons, Seven Seas, Knudsen, Spoonable Dressing, Miracle Whip, Worcestershire, A. 1., Stove Top, Kool Stuf, some of Breyers*, Light n' Lively, Barnum's Animals, Biscos, Café Creme, Cameo, Chips Ahoy!, Crispin (Puerto Rico only), Dad's, Danish (Puerto Rico only), Famous Chocolate Wafers, Family Favorites, Old Fashioned Ginger Snaps, Hony Bran (Puerto Rico only), Konitos (Puerto Rico only), Lorna Doone, Mallomars, Marshmallow Twirls, National Arrowroot, Newtons, Nutter Butter, Peak Freans, Pecan Passion, Pecanz, Pinwheels, SnackWell's, Social Tea, Stella D'oro
Sweetie Pie (Puerto Rico only), Teddy Grahams, some of Wild Thornberry's*, Air Crisps, Better Cheddars, Cheese Nips, Club Social (Puerto Rico only), Crown Pilot, Doo Dad, Flavor Crisps, Harvest Crisps, Nabs, Premium, Ritz, Royal Lunch, Stoned Wheat Thins, Sportz (Puerto Rico only), Sultana (Puerto Rico only), Triscuit, Uneeda, Wheatsworth, Wheat Thins, Zwieback, Comet Cups, Handi-Snacks,
Snack Nuts, Corn Nuts, PB Crisps, Planters, Altoids, Callard & Bowser,
CremeSavers Hard Candy, CremeSavers Soft Candy, Jet-Puffed, Life Savers, Milka L'il Scoops, Fun Fruits, Terry's, Tobler, Toblerone,
Trolli.

Aren't you glad you asked? Aren't you a better person for knowing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 02:54 AM

Lorna Doones, named after an imaginary heroine created by Sir Walter Scott, are   sweet shortbread squares which come from the great American Nabisco Company; who in turn are probably responsible for more overweight grade-schoolers than any other American institution. Lorna Doones are delicious, being full of fat and sugar and not much else. They do not have frosting, however, nor are they coated with chocolate. In this way they represent the austerity and simplicity associated with the mythic image of the Scots people, who earned it. American children therefore end up thinking that eating Lorna Doones is an ascetic adventure which will make them canny, lean, competent with large swords, and niggardly. All that actually happens is the gaining of weight.

This in turn stimulates the market as parents feel obliged to purchase new clothes over and over for their offspring because of those damn cookies.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 11:17 PM

It's time for tonight's installment in the you-know-what list, but, you know what? I'm too damned tired. We had an outrageuous New Years day picking party that started at noon. I've been playing guitar and banjo and Dobro for the last ten hours non-stop. I don't even wanna think about Lorna Doones right now. See ya tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM

ROTFLMBAO!!!! In Buggeroll's case, old chap, the odour NEVER abates! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I am delighted that the French are getting some local entertainment. I believe honour has been satisfied quite nicely. All in all this has been a splendid holiday season...one to be remembered for a long time.

WW-J


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Captain Nigel West
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 10:07 PM

Winston, you would have loved it!

My sources report to me that Buggeroll and his tart were laved by waves of skatol, indol, and certain other compounds early today. As they lay in bed, a truck carrying barrels of these chemicals tipped, the barrels opened, the windows broke....

If you don't know skatol, one might describe the smell as essence du merde. Indol is much the same, but derived from indigo -- and THIS batch had the effect of dyeing splotches of their bodies blue! Buggeroll really should wear night clothes -- the woman suffered a few spots, but Buggeroll! you'll know him in an instance in the gents'!

His poems were also flooded. They'll dry and be perfectly legible, but the odor won't abate for a very, very long time!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones
Date: 01 Jan 04 - 12:35 AM

Bloody good show, Nigel! We were simply roaring with laughter here, and had quite a celebration at the Vicar's Inn...but they closed some time ago. My mates and I have moved the festivities over to our private club. I think I get your drift...lovely notion! Tally ho and good hunting!

WW-J


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Captain Nigel West
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 11:58 PM

Winston, we managed to get him arrested, but that damned woman got him free. Damn, damn, damn!

Well, I don't think that he'll be free much longer. I've contacted Certain Parties and we're activating Operation Gamma. The less you know, the better, but I'll tell you this: it involves sulphurated skatol compounds, and when you hear of it you'll love it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 31 Dec 03 - 11:24 PM

I just had a phone call from my cousin, Senator Trent Lott, wishing me a HNY.
During the conversation, he raised the subject of MOAB. He said that he occasionally drops in at Mudcat to read MOAB, but he does not post due to undisclosed reasons.
Then, he put the shocker on me...he asked if I would be pleased if he were to present to Congress a bill designating 2004 as the "Year of MOAB"!
I told him that it seemed the proper thing to do & suggested that he also use his clout to proclaim me as "Man of the Year".

He explained that his "clout" has dwindled somewhiat & suggested that I should be happy just being King.

He has a good point!

Kk


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