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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Pete Jennings 24 Jan 14 - 09:58 AM
Rapparee 24 Jan 14 - 09:53 AM
gnu 24 Jan 14 - 08:30 AM
Amos 23 Jan 14 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 14 - 09:15 PM
gnu 23 Jan 14 - 02:56 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 14 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 14 - 10:40 AM
gnu 23 Jan 14 - 06:28 AM
Amos 22 Jan 14 - 11:56 PM
gnu 22 Jan 14 - 11:36 PM
Acme 22 Jan 14 - 10:54 PM
gnu 22 Jan 14 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 14 - 09:41 PM
gnu 22 Jan 14 - 01:45 PM
Pete Jennings 22 Jan 14 - 12:12 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 14 - 10:26 AM
gnu 22 Jan 14 - 06:29 AM
Amos 21 Jan 14 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 21 Jan 14 - 11:15 PM
gnu 21 Jan 14 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 21 Jan 14 - 09:07 PM
gnu 21 Jan 14 - 12:09 PM
Pete Jennings 21 Jan 14 - 12:07 PM
Amos 21 Jan 14 - 11:00 AM
Rapparee 21 Jan 14 - 10:09 AM
Rapparee 20 Jan 14 - 11:34 PM
gnu 20 Jan 14 - 08:29 PM
Rapparee 20 Jan 14 - 07:51 PM
gnu 20 Jan 14 - 06:03 PM
Rapparee 20 Jan 14 - 12:54 PM
Pete Jennings 20 Jan 14 - 11:36 AM
Acme 20 Jan 14 - 11:20 AM
Rapparee 20 Jan 14 - 10:34 AM
gnu 19 Jan 14 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 19 Jan 14 - 09:19 PM
gnu 19 Jan 14 - 06:31 PM
Rapparee 19 Jan 14 - 06:13 PM
GUEST,gnuonlaptopwatchinChampionshipWeekendNFL 19 Jan 14 - 03:31 PM
Acme 19 Jan 14 - 02:25 PM
Rapparee 19 Jan 14 - 01:15 PM
gnu 19 Jan 14 - 07:17 AM
Rapparee 19 Jan 14 - 01:00 AM
gnu 18 Jan 14 - 09:38 PM
gnu 18 Jan 14 - 04:51 PM
Rapparee 18 Jan 14 - 03:18 PM
gnu 18 Jan 14 - 01:26 PM
Acme 18 Jan 14 - 12:12 PM
Pete Jennings 18 Jan 14 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 18 Jan 14 - 11:32 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 24 Jan 14 - 09:58 AM

Who said anything about 40,914,826,900 cubic milimetres?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 14 - 09:53 AM

331.70 acre-feet. A mere mud puddle. Or, if you prefer, 1,200,950.20 US firkins, or 40,914.83 steres, or 42,891.09 tuns, or...oh, heck you can do the conversions from there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jan 14 - 08:30 AM

40,914,826,900 cubic milimetres is small? Ya gotta be firkin kiddin me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 14 - 10:47 PM

Yeah--and when you owed Joan a firkin and owed some butter to Aseesgud, you wrote a little PostIt note to stick on the fridge: "Firkin--Joan Butter--Aseesgud", right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 14 - 09:15 PM

Yes, yes I am.

I remember when I was in Tibet advising the Dali Lama. Naturally I was helping around the monastery, and one of my chores was to milk the yaks. If you've ever seen a yak, you'll understand that it was difficult not to get hair in the mild while milking. We'd set that milk in the milkhouse and let cream rise, after picking out all of the hair we could, of course. The cream was taken and made into yak butter, a truly excellent food. Yak butter, if you don't know, is used in Tibet in tea so you needed a supply on hand, at least for visitors. It wouldn't do to serve tea without yak butter to put in it, and sometimes it would have to be shipped great distances, mostly vertical ones. It was transported in small tubs, called "firkins" in the West and "small yak butter tubs" in Tibet. And this was REAL butter, none of this "cut with canola oil" (rapeseed oil to you Yurpeens) stuff, either. After you emptied a small yak butter tub you sent it back -- there was no deposit because people trusted each other then. If you had, say, Mamie's firkin you sent the firkin back to Mamie. I once had a really good firkin from Edna, but Edna had gotten the firkin from Joan, who had gotten the firkin from Lori, who had been given the firkin as a gift by her friend Sam. So I gave Lori a good firkin because, as I said, that was the sort of thing people did. There was an old saying, "One good firkin deserves another" and everyone tried to live by that rule.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jan 14 - 02:56 PM

It's nice to see you are still as sharp as a yak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 14 - 02:28 PM

It appears to me that we'll hit page 1,000 about the time we hit 50K.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 14 - 10:40 AM

Slotted screws have been around for hundreds of years because, I suspect, they are easier to make. Besides, if some poor guy is busy making the helix on a screw by hand he's gonna be so pissed off by the time he comes to the head he's not gonna do anything fancy.

Now, I got me a file some years back that is flatly triangular in cross-section. More than once I've struggled with a slothead and could only get it out maybe a eighth of an inch (3.18mm) and still couldn't use visegrrips or any other leverage. So I took the knife edge of my trusty file (never, ever a trifle rusty!) and filed a new slot in the old one. A shot of WD-40 or something similar and out it'd come! Then I'd throw it away and use something else, like a Pittman or a Broeger, something you can get out without painting the surrounding area bright blue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jan 14 - 06:28 AM

And, A, ya can stick em on a driver and then use ONE hand ta drive em. Best screw I ever had. But ya gotta check the quality before ya buy em. I have seen some that simply don't have the mass in the screw head required to take the torque some jobs require. If the package says Made in Canada or USA, fine. If not, check em careful like. If they read Mexico, yer in the wrong store.

Deck screws... there was a TV program about renos and additions n such I used to faithfully watch. Can't recall the name but this guy and his "present lass"* would provide an entertaining and informative project(s) each show. One was the building of a deck. Buddy gives a nod n a wink ta the camera and starts rubbing each screw in his hair prior to diving it. She notices and asks him about it. He says the oil the hair helps the screws go in easier and she starts doing it... BIG smile into the camera. I split a gut!

As fer scews in a deck, I use em near a doorway or stairs or any high traffic area. Otherwise, I use em every third joist and nail the rest with at least two (three is ideal for standard decking) oppositely toed hot DIP galvanized nails. Them smooth galvanized nails (most all ya can find these days) ain't got near the hold or life.

* I recall at least three different lasses over the years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 14 - 11:56 PM

I have rassled every kind of grotty, rusted, worn down, spun out, grimed up and stuck by pure Time screw known to man. There are times when the only thing that works is a high-speed drill with a really hard bit to grind out the head, and a tap-it to work out the body. I don't know Robertsons by name, but having looked them up they look familiar as the design my deck screws came in (with their own square-head driver) and I have to agree with Gnu--they never gave a lick of trouble going in or coming out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jan 14 - 11:36 PM

I seldom share any of my stuff but I was under the influence yesterday and blurted out a draft to some buddies. As it is kind of a generic story and not something that I would consider personal or telling anyone about stuff I think they might not know of, I think it's okay to share herein. Plus, Rap said sommat about hex heads that I consider extremely offensive (I am sure he will apologize and send me peace offerings. I prefer cash.) Sooo...

Garage Door Opener

There I sat in the weehicle in the driveaway, pressing the remote and thinking I needed a new battery. I went in the house and pressed the remote by the door. Hmmmm. Breaker or opener? I went into the garage and press the wall mounted control. The motor hummed but the door didn't move and the chain stayed still. Drat! I'll have to take the cowling off and look at the gears but not today because it's Championship Sunday and my team is one of the final four.

It's 2:30PM, Monday as I type. At noon, I put on workpants over sweat pants, a sweatshirt over t-shirt, toque, scarf, parka, lined rubber boots, and gloves. I got a ladder and investigated what tools would be required to remove the cowling. I needed a flashlight. I went back into the house and got a MagLite. One of the ones that takes three D size batteries. I shone the flash on the screws. Slotted hex. I must point out that I was in Mum's garage and my tools are in my garage. I used the remote in my truck to open my garage as my truck will not fit in my garage because the automakers insist on my truck having HUGE wheels? the greedy bastards.

I returned to the opener armed with a standard screwdriver rather than go into my basement to get a ratchet socket wrench. My gloves were slowing down the process of removing the screws so I took em off. Half way through removing the second screw, I noted the uselessness of slotted screws and muttered a few harsh words to myself. Got the screws out of the sides but the cowling remained in place. Aha! A screw on each end but these were in a plastic cover and were at the end of two inch long plastic "tubes". Got one out but it was a chore! I stopped a couple of times and said audibly, "How bloody long is this screw?" Of course, my fingers were now so cold that it wouldn't have mattered if I had kept my gloves on.

One more screw. Gosh and golly gee this was taking a long time to simply remove six screws but I am 56 years old and I've come to accept minor annoyances. Screw number six. I had a strange feeling when I heard an odd squeaking sound upon turning the screw. I was at "What the hell?" level. I screwed around with that screw until my forearms were starting to tire which isn't terribly long because I am a pencil pusher or, at least, I was until I got this here computer.

Right. This ain't workin so I'll get my socket wrench set from the basement. Well, actually, just one socket matched to the hex size. I opened the case but I wasn't paying attention due to my increasing foul mood. It was upside down. The wrenches and sockets and such are held in place in the top side by a divider. Those on the bottom side were thus free to spill onto the floor (or in the snow if one is working outdoors). Armed with yer Canadian Tire Lifetime Warranty Mastercraft ratchet wrench, extension and socket, I marched back into Mum's garage and said to the opener "I'll fix your little red wagon you SOB."

Squeak? ratchet? squeak? ratchet? squeak? ratchet. I forewent the ratchet and spun it vigorously?. squeeeeeeeeak! Okay. Now I am pissed off. I pulled out the extension to try to measure any progress and that's exactly what I did. I pulled out the extension. The socket was jammed on the screw, or so I thought. Now, this is a brand spanking new set that I got myself for a Kissmeass present about three years ago. Crappy Tire goes all out with the fifty percent sale on tools every December so I treated myself to a complete set. I was happy about giving myself the set as it meant no more fumbling through three partial sets like I used to do. I also vowed to never-ever lend it out and to always put everything back in the snazzy case. Like I said, it's new so I have had to use pliers to disengage a socket from a driver. I shoved it back in and wiggled it around as surely this would do the trick. That's is when I realized the socket was jammed in the plastic tube.

Okay. A skinny screw driver might be able to get by the socket. Yeah, I know but I had to try something eh? Got one outta my garage and tried it. Squeak. Fuck me.

I needed to know so I grabbed my flashlight and shined it down the tube. Darkness. MagLites don't like cold weather. Which begs the question, why are they allowed to be sold in Canada? Why hasn't Parliament banned the sale of them or at least made the manufacturer put warning labels on them like "This flashlight is fantastic but it ain't worth shit outside for at least three months a year and that's only if you live next to the border."

I got another flashlight and confirmed my fear. No progress. So, six screws and five are out. Time to apply my finely honed engineering skills, knowledge and experience to get my socket back. I retrieved my heavy duty leather work gloves from the house and very carefully RIPPED THE FUCKING COWLING OFF THE OPENER in one very violent and swift motion. I mean, I mangled the SOB! Good thing it's winter and Mum's windows are closed because the air was rather blue.

And there it was. A small nylon spreading screw backer. I found the squeak. Back to my garage for a pair of straight snips. I cut the fucker bad. The screw flopped around. I swiftly retrieved a hammer from my gara? where in fuck is my hammer? Seriously? WTF is my hammer? Nevermind, there's one under the sink in the kitchen. I braced the end of the opener with my left hand and smacked that sucker HARD over and over until a worm gear at the bottom of the opener fell dangling. Oooooh, that's not good, Gary. I know, channel locks! I went to my truck. Nope. Huh? I always keep my channel locks in the door pocket of my truck. Some people carry a piece of pipe or a baseball bat (or even a gun if they live in the States) for self-defence. I likes me channel locks. You can get undivided attention from the largest of ill-willed people with channel locks.

I found the channel locks BEHIND the dining room door after searching the garage, near the back door in the kitchen and the dining room table. Yeah, I am a bachelor so the dining room table is where I keep a lot of items handy that I might need in another month or so. Ya never know, eh?

I giver some with the channel locks, buddy. I pushed that screw outta sight. That'll do er! Nope. I stared at the socket? so close but yet sooo far away. I decided it was time for another application of "The Cowling Methodology". I inserted the extension and reefed on it madly until I broke the plastic tube and got my socket back.

I inspected the main gear. Yup. It was toast. Looked like the butt of a tree when a beaver is half way through chompin it down. But? I knew that before I decided to make sure that's what the problem was. Fact is, I never intended to replace it myself anyway because my arthritis gets really upset with me any time I try to do anything, especially in the winter.

Let's recap. I knew the garage door opener was not working and it was most likely a worn out main gear. Not including 13% HST, main gear replacement costs $135, installed during cold as a whore's heart weather by a young man who has his own tools and probably doesn't have arthritis. Replacement of a new opener with a four year warranty costs $330, installed. Replacement of the socket costs, I'd conservatively estimate, $2, tax in. One and a half hours of good exercise in the fresh cold air while my swearing and blood pressure rise asymptotically? You do the %$^&!* math!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jan 14 - 10:54 PM

I had to dig through the luggage and under the United tag to find the brand on my duffle bag (sorry for the confusion, Pete! Usually it's English phrases that are so puzzling, Americans are incredibly clear about everything they talk about.) It's Champion, a regular sports brand. Great nylon wheels on it. Back before they charged per bag my daughter and I took that to New York City with two smaller packs and our clothes and stuff inside. When we got to NYC we put our clothes and stuff in the smaller packs for the return trip and used the duffle to haul home all of our shopping booty. Those were the days!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jan 14 - 10:46 PM

Hex? Have I got a story for you! Hahaha! Inside joke. Hmmm... I guess I gotta back that up. Email soon.

Ahem! Hex heads ain't worth shit on a flush deal. Far as I am concerned, slot/standard should be punishable by death, Philips should carry prison time with no parole, the combos should carry jail time on weekends and the ROBERTSON should be declared mandatory for EVERY screw. Not only would this increase the productivity of everyone who screws, it would save the environment from having so many screw drivers thrown as far as I can throw them. Of course, that won't happen because it's a good screw. It's the best screw. We Canucks know how to screw. Seriously, if you screw with a Canuck screw, you won't screw around with any other screws. Now... where is that story about the hex head? I just wrote it so I should be able to find it... after I grab another


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 14 - 09:41 PM

Stop using Phillips screws and replace them with hex heads. Then you can take them out with vise-grip if you manage to round 'em off. A neat trick for getting out Phillips screws where the + has become an o: if you don't have an easy-out, just use a wrecking bar and heavy hammer.

Oh, by the way, you'd be surprised what you can do to a hard drive with only one little ole fencing tool.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jan 14 - 01:45 PM

I have been as far north as Nain, Labrador back when men were men and women were women and dogs would eat you if you fell down. Good story.

"keep on the lee side whenever possible"

Depends on the wind, the snow and the shelter. I never used to make a fire for warmth. I used to build something that I never heard of anyone else building. Briefly, imagine an "igloo" made with hardwood saplings shoved into the snow and tied at the top with fir branches, cross braced with more saplings. Then, a foot of fir branches on the "floor". Then fir branches woven into the saplings. Then, long needle pine branches thatched in. Then lots of snow (bearpaw snowshoes... nooo... hahaha... we laugh at them as they make poor shovels).

In the late 60s and early 70s, I had a half dozen within about 4 miles from where I am sitting now. I used to strip em in the early fall and rebuild them in October before we got any heavy snows.
Good for sleeping in to about -15F wearing woolen clothing. And, the fir floor was oh so soft and springy.Unfortuantely, you will be on the Churchill and I don't think there is access to the materials I used as a boy.

Brinks High Security exterior locksets, curly lever handle style, were on sale at Crappy Tire today. I was a tad upset when my existing lockset jammed and I couldn't get out my back door so imagine the utter delight I felt when I saw the sign at Crappy Tire saying "20% off"! And, the package said it could be installed on left and right hand doors. It can. But that means the curly lever (dumb fuckin idea BUT it looks nice) is upside downie on my door. Found that out when I got it home. Oh well, it was on sale.

Another thing I noticed when I got it out of the package was that the screws joining the levers were not on the vertical but, rather, on the horizontal, so one of the screws was directly behind the lever. Hmmmm? could be a problem. Underestimate of what was about to occur. Fought with the SOB for an hour but I won! Only problem is, the little knob to un/lock the lockset from inside won't budge. After the blizzard, Chinese Tire gets this piece of shit back.

Solace : I get another short story for my Happy Weekender Special chapter.

PS? Amos? did you hide all my good (as if there was such a thing!) Philips screwdrivers when you were here or was it your cousin?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 22 Jan 14 - 12:12 PM

Nice duffle, Rap. Furthest north I've ever been was Hammerfest, up in Norway. In May, if I recall rightly. Snow on the ground but it was sunny the two days I was there. Still daylight at 11pm. Don't remember what the temp was but it was bloody cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 14 - 10:26 AM

Since I won't be crawling around in the snow with a firearm I'll be wearing nice bright colours (since I'll be in Canada) so they can find me if I get lost. At temps of -20F and lower I'd prefer to be found, in a revivable condition if at all possible.

But I do know all of the old tricks for surviving the cold: keep on the lee side whenever possible, stay dry, don't touch metal with your bare hands, no exposed skin, watch for the white patches that mean frostbite, and above all stay indoors, before a nice fire, in a comfortable lounger, while sipping a hot buttered rum or a hot ruttered bum or both.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jan 14 - 06:29 AM

The northern species turns white in winter so... in plain sight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 14 - 11:37 PM

Them polarfleeces is much better than trying to work up a overcoat outta naugahyde. Besides, where would the Nauga hide, anyway?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 14 - 11:15 PM

I've shot, skinned out and made clothes from a bunch of polartechs. They're pretty common around here and make warm clothes. Also trapped and skinned a few polyesters for longies. Both of 'em are lousy eatin' so I feed 'em to the dogs, but they make warm and fuzzies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jan 14 - 09:21 PM

Why not just take one a yer heavy duty side arms, smack some polar fleece, skin em out and wear em. Make some polar bear soup while yer at it. Churchill's got lots a yer furry friends.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 14 - 09:07 PM

Pete, this is what we're waiting for. I'll use it as my main, checked, bag on this trip and also use it for some of our cold-weather gear (it was -24F up there this morning, with a wind chill of -54F). We have, of course, rented the really heavy-duty stuff: parkas, boots, pants. Ain't cheap to rent, but the parka we rent costs USD 650.00 and we'd have to get it home/up there. Renting is lots cheaper, and we already have outerwear sufficient for where we live.

The alternative is to use our "great gray whale" duffle, which has backpack straps and no wheels. It's nice, but not for lugging through airports and onto buses and things.

Also, we have both sent to our friend Mary a box containing about 20 pounds each of our heavier cold gear -- and we'll ship them back before we fly home. This includes expedition weight base layers, balaclavas, gauntlet gloves, boots, and so forth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jan 14 - 12:09 PM

'kerfuffle' You Yanks are always bastardizing The Queen's English.

Now, what does 'Confuciousion' mean? I rang Bee up and she's never heard of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 21 Jan 14 - 12:07 PM

Thanks, Rap, it was the wheels that threw me. I used to have a small duffle bag which I used to carry my books, etc., when I was at secondary school. Had a shoulder strap and a drawstring around the opening and very handy it was too as I recall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 14 - 11:00 AM

What's the kafluffle
Over a duffle??

Confuciousion


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 14 - 10:09 AM

I should have mentioned that the same design is used in every military service and big business around the world....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 14 - 11:34 PM

A genuine CAF latrine. Officers upstairs, enlisted personnel down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jan 14 - 08:29 PM

A shit above the rest?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 14 - 07:51 PM

Canadian Air Forces use two story outhouses?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jan 14 - 06:03 PM

"ugly green in color"? Grunt! Airmen, Canuck Airmen at least, RCAF, had blue duffle bags.

Death From Above!

In blue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 14 - 12:54 PM

Shorthand for "duffle bag", which is or was a heavy canvas bag, ugly green in color, in which soldiers carried all their worldly possessions, or at least the crap they didn't immediately need. Also known to the Navy and Marines as a "sea bag." The top folded over in quarters onto a loop of metal and the strap clipped to the loop (that was also where you put a padlock). There was also a carrying handle. Your name and serial number were stenciled on the side. Newer models also had/have a back-pack straps arrangement. If you see a picture of GIs "shipping out" who are carrying heavy bags on their shoulders, those are duffle bags.

One of the nastier things Those In Charge could do as punishment would be to give an offending squad or platoon 30 minutes to pack up their duffle bags and fall out for inspection in fatigue clothing. Then you give them another 30 minutes to unpack and be ready for an inspection in the barracks in Class A uniform. Then you change it to an inspection of their full field kit 30 minutes later. Because nobody can get themselves, their equipment, and their barracks ready for inspection in 30 minutes you could find "good reasons" to put the entire group on restriction and extra cleaning duty until they passed your inspection. As a Platoon Sergeant and Acting Platoon Leader (no officer available) I would NEVER have even thought of doing such a thing, much less doing it.

What we have coming is made of heavy-duty nylon, with wheels, and is about 30 inches long with a side-opening zipper. The entire unit weighs about a quarter or less of the ol' original duffle bag. Briefly, it's a big bag with a set of wheels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 20 Jan 14 - 11:36 AM

What's a duffle, precisely? US Dictionary just says "sporting or camping equipment".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jan 14 - 11:20 AM

I found a good quality name-brand duffle with robust wheels at Target years ago. I'd loan you mine if you were nearby. You could go to Target to see if they still carry them - I'd pay with cash if I were you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 14 - 10:34 AM

No, I guess I only have the stamina I had at 25 years old. I can barely run a 6-minute-mile anymore without sweating and panting. As for parachute jumping, well, that was well behind me even at 25. No longer can I hump an M-60 machine gun and 250 rounds and four grenades and a .45 with 3 magazines of ammo and some claymore mines and TNT up and down mountains, for a) I don't have any of the foregoing and b) I don't want any and c) running around with all that crap would get me arrested toot sweet. I cannot stay up all night boozing and playing Crazy Eights until Dawn gives me the rosy finger anymore.

Alas, for lost youth!!!

Now I even drink whiskey from a glass instead of the bottle! Alack! I shall sit on the porch of the Old Farts' Home, gumming my gum as I rock in the ol' rocking chair, occasionally making a lewd comments at the passing young ladies until those nice folks in white uniforms take me back inside for beddy-byes.

No more shall I rappel down cliffs using clothesline and no harness! No more will I allow firecrackers to explode in my fingers! No more will I throw a hatchet at a tree and have it bounce back! No more 100 proof vodka drank from the bottle while driving 100+ miles per hour! No more stolen, unprotected, kisses in the backseat of a 1932 Pontiac! No more for me the dangers of getting VD from toilet seats and doorknobs!

Alas and alack!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jan 14 - 10:09 PM

GO BRONCOS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 14 - 09:19 PM

So the mythical Patriots lost a mythical game to the mythical Broncos by the mythical score of something like 26 to 16? This means that they will be going to the mythical Superbowel on February 2? I'll be flying to Chonga's adopted home town that day, enroute to Winnepeg.

I guess my creaky, moldy old body doesn't have the same stamina it did when I was, say, 18. Can't imagine why. That was only a half a century back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jan 14 - 06:31 PM

Still feelin weak after gettin yer choppers chopped? I feel for ya, bud. I hope you get yer choppers chipper quick like.

Oh yeah... go whoever... sniff...slippers, t-shirt, hoody, & jersey back in the bed chest until next year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 14 - 06:13 PM

Apparently, Stilly, there IS some sort of football thing this weekend. I'm working on what to have for dinner and the laundry while trying to figure out the packing for the Aurora-watching trip without the Big Wheeled Duffle we ordered and which hasn't arrived yet...and I'm still lacking in stamina after the surgery 11 days ago. Some people have time to watch television! I wish I had time to watch television. Here I am newly arisen from my sick bed, working and slaving away, just trying to keep things going. And SOME PEOPLE even bag a Century and don't even acknowledge it.

Poor Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,gnuonlaptopwatchinChampionshipWeekendNFL
Date: 19 Jan 14 - 03:31 PM

Got my football slippers, my Pats t-shirt, my Brady 2013 AFC Championship QWeekend GAME JERSEY and my tent size Pats hoody on. Got pork side ribs boilin and... game's back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jan 14 - 02:25 PM

I don't pay attention to football at all - I know it is too early for the Super Bowl so this must be some kind of playoff this weekend? No need to answer - I won't remember anyway. :)

In the last six months I have dug out photos for five different individuals with significant relationships with my employer (the library). I had to do that again today. In the past it was maybe once every couple of years. I'm glad I have the photo resource, but I'm sad to have to mine it so often.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 14 - 01:15 PM

No, more than my head is old and moldy. I guess I'm not a cheese head because of that and because I'm not from Wisconsin, my names not Yon Yohnson, and I never worked in the lumber mills there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jan 14 - 07:17 AM

Cheeseheads are from Wisconsin, mainly, but anyone can be a cheesehead. Bro was.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 14 - 01:00 AM

Are you calling me a cheese? I'm old and moldy but...maybe I am a cheese.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jan 14 - 09:38 PM

Hmmm. Links never work. Google          cheeshead


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jan 14 - 04:51 PM

Cheese!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 14 - 03:18 PM

Isnt' there supposed to be someone named Pest or Dess or something on that mythical football team, the Patriots? Wasn't this person recently arrested or injured or walked out in a fit of pique or something?

See, that's why the Cubs are gonna win the Ryder Cup this year -- all them other teams, like the Patriots and the Browns and the Flames and the White Sox are either full of injured crooks or are mythical at best. Take your Green Bay Packers...please.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jan 14 - 01:26 PM

I have about 8 pounds of pork side ribs. BOGOF = $3/#. They are huge and have little fat... I could resist! Boil em, mariate em in Hickory BBQ sauce and bake em slow so that they stay nice and hot during the AFC/NFC championships tomorrow from 4PM to near 11PM. In total, 10.5 hours of Yankee Football TV coverage tomorrow.

GO PATS!

Go Seahawks... maybe... we'll see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jan 14 - 12:12 PM

And you can make cute little videos of piglets diving into breakfast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 18 Jan 14 - 12:09 PM

I'm gonna be grilling pork belly for dinner in a couple of hours time...yum, yum!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 14 - 11:32 AM

You need a sow and a boar for your backyard. Cute little piglets will add joy to your life and enhance your standing with the neighbors. Fresh bacon, home-smoked hams, shared by the guy who did it all himself, what more could they ask?


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