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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 09 Sep 13 - 05:57 PM
gnu 09 Sep 13 - 05:51 PM
Little Hawk 09 Sep 13 - 12:57 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 13 - 12:10 PM
Little Hawk 09 Sep 13 - 11:25 AM
gnu 09 Sep 13 - 10:59 AM
Amos 09 Sep 13 - 10:56 AM
Rapparee 09 Sep 13 - 10:55 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 09 Sep 13 - 08:48 AM
Rapparee 08 Sep 13 - 09:44 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 08 Sep 13 - 08:41 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 13 - 12:36 PM
gnu 08 Sep 13 - 08:15 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 08 Sep 13 - 08:09 AM
gnu 08 Sep 13 - 07:20 AM
Rapparee 08 Sep 13 - 01:34 AM
Rapparee 07 Sep 13 - 11:43 PM
gnu 07 Sep 13 - 09:34 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 07 Sep 13 - 01:16 PM
Acme 07 Sep 13 - 01:11 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 13 - 12:24 PM
gnu 07 Sep 13 - 08:40 AM
Little Hawk 07 Sep 13 - 12:19 AM
Rapparee 06 Sep 13 - 09:35 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 13 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 13 - 06:50 PM
Acme 06 Sep 13 - 05:18 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 13 - 04:51 PM
gnu 06 Sep 13 - 04:42 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 13 - 04:30 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 13 - 04:17 PM
gnu 06 Sep 13 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 13 - 01:24 PM
gnu 06 Sep 13 - 01:01 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 13 - 11:22 AM
Amos 06 Sep 13 - 10:45 AM
Amos 06 Sep 13 - 10:00 AM
Rapparee 06 Sep 13 - 09:42 AM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 13 - 01:09 AM
Rapparee 05 Sep 13 - 07:14 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 13 - 07:12 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 13 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 13 - 04:00 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 13 - 02:15 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 13 - 10:03 AM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 13 - 12:19 AM
gnu 04 Sep 13 - 08:54 PM
Rapparee 04 Sep 13 - 08:52 PM
Rapparee 04 Sep 13 - 08:50 PM
Little Hawk 04 Sep 13 - 04:07 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 05:57 PM

Ummm...well, today...I've been at the computer...in the kitchen...downtown...out in the yard...downstairs...bathroom...kitchen again...then went to my accountant's office...back home after that...

What else you want to know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 05:51 PM

NEXT election? WTF have you been?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 12:57 PM

LOL! Oh, I like that... ;-) We need someone like that in the next election here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 12:10 PM

Sham, you should run for office. Here's your slogan:

"Sham McBride: He puts the 'duh' in Canada."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 11:25 AM

Amos - "Rodin drives me wild."

Hmmm. I wonder if Rodin also drives Winona wild? Must find out. It might prove useful at some point.

I am still shocked...yes, shocked!...that you resisted the almost overwhelming temptation to journey a short distance north and investigate the wilds of Orillia, Amos. I can hardly believe you would pass up such an opportunity. Are you aware that we have a towering statue of Samuel de Champlaigne standing in the city park by the waterfront? And an 1800s-era opera house? And then there's Chez Hawk, my residence, where you have a standing invitation to visit at any time. Keep that in mind. You can get to meet the budgies too if you come. They have never seen an Amos, and would, I think, be fascinated...once they overcame their initial fear of strangers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 10:59 AM

50.8 m... not bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 10:56 AM

Now, boys!

I spent several days in the sweet green woods of southern Connecticut and then cut up and over to upper NY state, to visit an artist friend in the charming brick Victorian town of Hudson, on the banks of the river Hudson. It was once a booming whale-oil town. Then it got depressed and almost all boarded up. Then it got re-energized by artsy types and now it is bustling again--antiques, bakeries, artists, coffee shops, woodworkers, and so on. Still some great bargains to be had in houses there. Bidding fond adieux to the Hudson Valley I wandered down into the maw of New Jersey--a depressing transition indeed--and on into Pennsylvania. I am now resting up in a lovely Cape Cod brick home in the suburbs and plan on going into town to drool on the Rodin exhibits which are open today. Rodin drives me wild.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 10:55 AM

One needs both intelligence and awareness to be frightened, Sham.

But I do want to know how many pairs of knee protectors you go through in a week, if you use knee protectors. You should because you can eventually damage your knees kneeling on asphalt, cold concrete, and other hard surfaces. Even the cold ground can damage your knees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 08:48 AM

What are you flippin' gettin' at, Bolthole? You tryin' to scare me? Huh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 09:44 PM

He gets down on his knees a lot, doesn't he, Don?

Wind: WSW, 0.0 to 4.6 mph.
Distance: 50.8 meters, measured by laser.
Target: NRA/Olympic Small Bore Rifle (paper).
Rifle: Single shot, bolt action .22.
Ammunition: Aguila Target .22 Long Rifle, standard velocity, 40 grain lead round nose.
Position: Sitting bench rest (for sighting in).
Score: 173/180, 3X.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 08:41 PM

The little brother got band from the liberry after the last bad insident. He is mad abvout that and says he is boycottin' them now. He says he will not set foot in the liberry, not even if they get down on there flippin' knees and BEG him to.

- Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 12:36 PM

I do think that the Blind River public library needs some "book weights."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 08:15 AM

I don't think the slow buddy tactic works in Churchill. Might draw a crowd eh? Probably need to be in the middle of the herd... a BIG herd.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 08:09 AM

Yeah, I got a long acquaintance with usin' saps to calm troublesome people down. They work real good.

As for the bears, the best thing to bring when yer in bear country is a not-so-good-friend who can't run as fast as you can, and keep him near to hand at all times.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 07:20 AM

Toilet paper. Not for you... for the bears. A steady diet of garbage and tourists gives em the runs eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 01:34 AM

What sort of stuff should I bring along for a sojourn in Churchill, MB in early February? I can rent the real heavy-duty stuff there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 11:43 PM

Got me a sap right here, just like my Uncle Ed used on those punks who messed with him. "A tap with your sap and the sap is crap," as he used to say.

What, you may ask, is a sap? It's one of these, but flatter. Librarians use them as "book weights" so don't mess with librarians.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 09:34 PM

I am quite certain Rap would offer to help with that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 01:16 PM

A solid whack to the side of the head might do it too. Works for me.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 01:11 PM

There's a steroid shot they can give you now to clear out your sinuses. I'd never heard of it before I got one earlier this year, but it works wonders. Check it out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 12:24 PM

Why? Is it bothering you? If it is I suppose that LH and I could stop it, isn't that right LH?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 08:40 AM

Stop that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 13 - 12:19 AM

I'm like....???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 09:35 PM

It's called "uptalking"? And lots of people with self-esteem issues do it? And my self-esteem has an issue? Like how can I be even greater than being the greatest and Mom's favorite kid?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 09:21 PM

Wow, tough luck, Rap.

Now who the heck are you trying to sound like? When you end everything with a question? Like this? Know what I mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 06:50 PM

So a while back I had this oral surgery? And they put in bone grafts and stuff? And for the last week or so I've been blowing my nose and out comes stuff that looks like liquid chocolate? And today I went to the oral surgeon? And he did some x-rays and stuff and found that my right sinus is completed blocked up by an infection? And that's not the side with the big bone graft? So I'm on clindimycin?




(Big Bone Graft -- what a great name for something! Like Big Bone Lick State Park in Kentucky or French Lick, Indiana.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 05:18 PM

I'm back to MOAB today to read the travelogue. Amos is slowly working his way through the New England states, toying with the idea of crossing back into Canada, and is heading toward Mudcat central if he crosses through central PA. Great time of year to be up there - I hope the colors on the mountains are gorgeous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 04:51 PM

I've dealt with goats before. The nanny goats are quite nice creatures...but the billy goats? Total bastards! They are obsessed with sex and violence, 24 hours a day. And they stink.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 04:42 PM

LH... really? I have no history of such... without due cause. >;-)

Of course, any transgressions (I disagree) by Wildebeeste have nothing to do with goats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 04:30 PM

At least it's not a fertility rite like Morris Dancing, so the 'rhan players can bang away all day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 04:17 PM

I've always heard that Bodhran players are a dangerous and unpredictable lot, prone to run amok at any instant, and motivated by strange, atavistic urges. (Almost as bad as Morris dancers!) I don't know if these rumours are true, but I give them a wide berth at the folk festivals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 03:34 PM

Time can range from "not tonight" to 20 minutes. If I fling my ciapan twice, I quit. If my ganglion goes chipmunk and spouts, "What the fuck are you doing?", I quit. I could feel it coming on when A was here and demonstrated the ganglion problem up close and personal (a foot from his lookers), as in, "Watch this. See that riggin... watch." I am glad he did not faint away at the sight of it as such affects a geetarist in much the same way and is truly frightening. Same fer yer bango players but nobody seems to get much ado over it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 01:24 PM

Play one for any length of time? Like a couple of minutes? Aren't they kinda like a banjo, but without a neck and strings but with the banjo's ability to be almost in tune?

Instead, why not get one of those Japanese drums that are played horizontally? I'm sure your neighbours (being in Canada you can't have neighbors) would appreciate it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 01:01 PM

Oh, now! What a lovely and gracious offer. Why, I would hazrd to say one could probable take one's shoes off when entering chez LH.

I was horrified when Gabe took of his sandals! I said, "Buddy! Leave yer shoes on in this house! Ya might catch suomethin!" I mean, he was BAREfeeties! Now, granted, I had just mopped all the floors but I only mopped them once so his chances of survival were still slim. He declined. Have you heard from Gabe lately, A? I am concerned, you know.

I am presently resisting great temptaion to aquire a new Hran. It would be foolish to buy one without the ability to play one for any length of time. Check out Lavengro's thread re Bodhran tutorials on YT. I am absolutely in love with the O'Kane Hran. Mine are shallow 18" Kearns' and the O'Kane, even with the "cheap" recording system, sounds like something I would love to beat up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 11:22 AM

Ah, yes. Words of wisdom, pard. I'd expect no less from the author of "Beyond the Cascade", a phantasmagorical adventure tale of deep spiritual awakening.

But you're visiting upstate New York? Well, that's just a hop, skip, and a jump from the Canadian border and southern Ontario. I can't fathom why you don't rush up to Orillia for a few days. After all, I have 2 extra bedrooms here, some really neat guitars, a stuffed monkey, and some song circles and stuff to go to, plus I'm doing a 2-hour gig a week from today in Barrie, Ontario. Sheesh. How could you NOT come here under such propitious circumstances?!? ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 10:45 AM

There may be no contradictions, but there are myriad incomplete statements, which LOOK like contradictions.

Do not be fooled.

The TRUTH is out there, in there, in here and overall throughout all the whatness of the whichness, and the hilarity of who-ness, how-nowness, and everywhere.

All one need do is shift wavelengths and it burbles in among every cell, neuron, thought, image, postulate, hypothesis, regret, memory, intention and picture available to each and every mind in all of Mom's fair and broad land. That's all.


Welcome!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 10:00 AM

Hi, Mom! How delightful to see Rapparee and Hawk bearing forth the guidon of our faire home, in the Cause of pure BS!

I am in the home of a niece in the sunny dappled woods of Southern Connecticut. Tomorrow I head for upstate NY to visit an old friend up there, and thence to Philly the next day to rest a while. The puppy is snoring, the commuters have all commuted, and peace is upon the valley. I think I'll go to Westport and raise some Cain or sompn.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 09:42 AM

If you read it on the Internet it's true. Has to be. There are no contradictions. For example, Obama DOES drink human blood but it's only stuff that's reached it's expiration date at the hospital AND he only drinks it over ice. He IS Muslim but he's uncircumcised so it didn't take. He was born in Hawai'i, a State, of parents who arrived the day before from Proxima Centauri B, so he's a native-born alien. As for lying, well, he's a politician and his lips move.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 13 - 01:09 AM

Yes, I know that, and it's driving me crazy, because I've read all kinds of contradictory things on the Internet...yet I know they must ALL be true! The stuff about Obama alone...it's enough to make your head swim. He's a Muslim. He isn't. He's a natural born citizen. He isn't. He's an alien being. He isn't. He's a Communist. He isn't. He lies. He doesn't. He works for Al Qaeda. He does not work for Al Qaeda. He has a satanic symbol woven into his short-cropped hair. He doesn't. He drinks human blood at night. He doesn't!

Pretty dang confusing. Even more than the Bible is!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 13 - 07:14 PM

That should be "Chong" and not "Choong."

And I found this article on the Internet so it must be true. You can't post lies there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 13 - 07:12 PM

Oh, by the way -- that last comment is my own. I forgot to turn off the italics.

From a close reading of the news article, it would appear that Sham attempted something on Chong and Choong "desired" Sham. Talk about your Disgusting Animals!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 13 - 04:15 PM

Hmmm. Well, they may be trying to stir up sympathy support for Chongo, saying he's been wrongly incarcerated in a foreign nation on false charges. They may threaten military action if he is not freed. I know Chongo, and there's no way he would ever bother going to Blind River to look up Shane, let alone attempt to have sex with him! Chongo would regard Shane as a piece of useless corrupted human trash, beneath contempt, not worth a moment's notice...while Shane would be scared of Chongo if he ever encountered him.

Of course, when Shane is stoned he can do some pretty odd things...he tends to lose touch with reality now and then.

But Chongo would never get drunk enough to consider making a pass at Shane. It's unthinkable. Chongo only makes passes at classy human dames and Chimpettes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 13 - 04:00 PM

I don't know anything about Sham's "whanger" and have no desire to learn anything about it.

No, I don't make any money for simply quoting news articles. You'll have to take it up with the CBC. That is, by the way, the Chimpanzee Broadcasting Corporation, which is a wholly-own subsidiary of the American Primate Party.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 13 - 02:15 PM

LOL!!!

Oh, you awful man, spreading these terrible, scurrilous tales!

You're in the pay of Chongo's political foes, aren't you? Just admit it and repent. You'll feel better.

The "dead weapon" is Shane's whanger, I take it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 13 - 10:03 AM

This just in:

CBC, September 5. Blind River resident Shane McBride was arrested around 7 last evening for morals violation with a visiting American chimpanzee, Chongo Chimp, of Chicago, Illinois.

Mr. McBride was charged with being under the influence of alcohol and illegal drugs, various public health violations, and attempted sexual assault with a dead weapon. He is being held without bond in the Sudbury Jail.

Mr. Chimp was charged with various weapons violations, including possession of a fully automatic weapon, failing to pay import duty on 1,500 cigars and 25 liters of whisky, attempted sexual abuse of a person of diminished mental capacity, resisting arrest, and running several stop signs. He is being held in isolation at the Sudbury Animal Park and Petting Zoo.


Whew! The things that happen over night! Chong and Shame -- who woulda thunk it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 13 - 12:19 AM

I don't know. Chongo says that humans are a defective breed of primate that split off the main line of the noble Great Apes hundreds of thousands of years ago and spiralled down into a sort of devolutionary pattern until we ended up with "Homo Sapiens", a creature which now threatens to infest and compromise the entire planet. He favors culling the less desirable examples of HomSap to improve the breed to a point where they'll cause a lot less trouble.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Sep 13 - 08:54 PM

$500/$2= 250# of vidalias. Ya think I am some kinda monkey?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 13 - 08:52 PM

The police determined that it was a Black Hand incident.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 13 - 08:50 PM

The last case the "Great Chimp Defective" handled was the killing of a hand of bananas. Guess who the culprit was!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 13 - 04:07 PM

Chongo is for hire to solve such mysteries, gnu...providing you pay him a $500 retainer plus traveling expenses. Results are guaranteed.*

*(not that we're saying exactly what results...)


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