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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 03 May 13 - 09:28 AM
Amos 03 May 13 - 01:11 AM
Rapparee 02 May 13 - 10:21 PM
gnu 02 May 13 - 09:33 PM
Amos 02 May 13 - 08:58 PM
Rapparee 02 May 13 - 06:21 PM
Amos 02 May 13 - 04:10 PM
Acme 02 May 13 - 12:11 PM
gnu 02 May 13 - 12:10 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 02 May 13 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 02 May 13 - 09:36 AM
Amos 02 May 13 - 06:38 AM
GUEST 02 May 13 - 06:08 AM
Rapparee 01 May 13 - 11:41 PM
Acme 01 May 13 - 11:26 PM
Rapparee 01 May 13 - 09:38 AM
Amos 30 Apr 13 - 11:40 PM
Amos 30 Apr 13 - 11:29 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 13 - 11:24 PM
Acme 30 Apr 13 - 09:12 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 13 - 09:20 AM
gnu 30 Apr 13 - 06:37 AM
Amos 30 Apr 13 - 04:23 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 13 - 11:12 PM
Acme 29 Apr 13 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 13 - 10:28 PM
Amos 29 Apr 13 - 03:19 PM
Donuel 29 Apr 13 - 02:34 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 13 - 11:05 PM
Acme 28 Apr 13 - 10:22 PM
Acme 28 Apr 13 - 10:14 PM
gnu 28 Apr 13 - 08:07 PM
Acme 28 Apr 13 - 07:23 PM
gnu 28 Apr 13 - 12:35 PM
Amos 28 Apr 13 - 11:37 AM
Acme 28 Apr 13 - 11:10 AM
Rapparee 28 Apr 13 - 10:06 AM
gnu 28 Apr 13 - 08:52 AM
Amos 28 Apr 13 - 01:35 AM
Rapparee 27 Apr 13 - 11:51 PM
Acme 27 Apr 13 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 13 - 08:41 AM
Rapparee 26 Apr 13 - 10:50 PM
gnu 26 Apr 13 - 10:54 AM
Acme 26 Apr 13 - 10:37 AM
Rapparee 26 Apr 13 - 09:11 AM
GUEST 26 Apr 13 - 08:53 AM
gnu 26 Apr 13 - 05:37 AM
Amos 26 Apr 13 - 02:20 AM
Rapparee 26 Apr 13 - 12:14 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 13 - 09:28 AM

You want to come? I got a room with two double beds -- I'll be using one, ALONE. Just don't awaken me with what your saddle and boots are all about and fer God's sakes, remember to take off your spurs when you're on the bed! No quirts, bridles, and bits either -- YOU might be into the "rough trade" but I'm not and I'll fill your guitar so full of holes you can use it as an Aeolian harp if the screams are too loud. I'm a crotchety old gunflinger and I needs mah sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 13 - 01:11 AM

SUre thing!! Shoot 'em up!! Fill 'em with hot lead!! Drill 'em! Let 'em see daylight!! Feed 'em to the buzzards, podnuh! You betcha...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 13 - 10:21 PM

Since Pat will be in France, I thought I'd mosey on down to End of the Trail at Founders' Ranch and see what was going on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 May 13 - 09:33 PM

Oh drat! Sold out! I was gonna have Dale fire up the Lear for a shoot out. Maybe mext time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 13 - 08:58 PM

Cold at night in those altitudes, but warm wherever people gather, because of their high attitudes. Old Tom the Banker says:

"The Chair she sat in, like a burnished throne,*
Glowed on the marble, where the glass
Held up by standards wrought with fruited vines
From which a golden Cupidon peeped out80
(Another hid his eyes behind his wing)
Doubled the flames of sevenbranched candelabra
Reflecting light upon the table as
The glitter of her jewels rose to meet it,
From satin cases poured in rich profusion;
In vials of ivory and coloured glass
Unstoppered, lurked her strange synthetic perfumes,
Unguent, powdered, or liquid - troubled, confused
And drowned the sense in odours; stirred by the air
That freshened from the window, these ascended90
In fattening the prolonged candle-flames,
Flung their smoke into the laquearia,*
Stirring the pattern on the coffered ceiling.
Huge sea-wood fed with copper
Burned green and orange, framed by the coloured stone,   
In which sad light a carved dolphin swam.
Above the antique mantel was displayed
As though a window gave upon the sylvan scene*
The change of Philomel, by the barbarous king*
So rudely forced; yet there the nightingale* 100
Filled all the desert with inviolable voice
And still she cried, and still the world pursues,
"Jug Jug" to dirty ears.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 13 - 06:21 PM

Too bad. I'll be in that general area June 22 - 27.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 13 - 04:10 PM

No, Darius, named after the renowned French composer, Darius Milhaud, by one of his affectionate disciples.

Here's the blurb for the May 5th concert. in Santa Fe. Get yer tickets while they last!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 13 - 12:11 PM

Have a great visit, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 May 13 - 12:10 PM

Have fun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 02 May 13 - 11:54 AM

Diphead

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 13 - 09:36 AM

D, is it?

Dillinger? Dopey? Dahmer? Dirac? Dilbert? Decatur? Dumbledore? Diocletian? Diana? Donne? Desalvo? Dominique? Dodd? Dzhumagaliev? DeBardeleben? Denyer? Durrant? Dylan? Duck? Duncan? Descartes? Dante?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 13 - 06:38 AM

I am off on Friday to a reunion with my childhood companion D., whom I haven't seen for years and years, and who is giving a concert there for a humanitarian cause. Jolly good show all around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 02 May 13 - 06:08 AM

Turn that rig around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 13 - 11:41 PM

I have an electric rototiller -- small, but enough for my simple needs and wants. It will turn over forty or so acres with relative ease if I guide it along and that is sufficient to supply my larder. Some salsify, potatoes, rotenkraut, avocados, heritage tomatoes, wild strawberries transplanted from a mountain meadow, an acre or so of huckleberries, some turnips and beets, a few carrots, quinoa, spelt, barley, lentils, spelt, dewberries, and perhaps some black raspberries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 May 13 - 11:26 PM

With my tiller, it is also to be a toiler.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 13 - 09:38 AM

"Have you no place to go, no home, no rooom?" he asked.
"Nay, good sir," she did reply, "and why come you here masked?"
"You live upon the streets?" he asked, with lechery in his eyes.
"Yes, good sir, and my pimp protects me from naughty guys."

Oh, he longed for her fair bod
And long he lusted it o'er
But a six-six dude with a sawed-off
Put her quite beyond his roar.

Oh pity all you the poor working girl,
Who strives to make ends meet!
She supports hereelf, her kids, her pimp,
The cops, six judges, and many elite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 13 - 11:40 PM

Ralston Bowles
The veil is thin between the worlds.
The cloots will gently wave
Down to the well where saints it's told
Will wash the pain way


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 13 - 11:29 PM

A tiller, a toiler
A character soiler
What makes you speak so badly.
You used to create
Good BS
But now it's horseshit, sadly!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 13 - 11:24 PM

Nonsense. THIS is a tiller.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 13 - 09:12 PM

Yes, gnu. It's called



















wait for it




















a



tiller.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 13 - 09:20 AM

I think, Amos, that your innuendos sometimes become too blatant. I realize you're jealous, but to discuss in public that I "hang" is a bit over the top even for you. Perhaps you might like to apologize to the ladies yourself, but I will help you.

Ladies, please excuse Amos's earlier comment that I "hang" myself. I'm certain that he did not mean to offend you, and I ask that you take my word for it that he is not always that crass and offensive. Indeed, he is almost always more so.

Gentlemen, I should also ask that you too excuse Amos's comment. He was, as I am sure you are aware, the object of vilification and laughter in the showers after Physical Education in High School and it has turned his life into a chasm of continuous shortcomings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 13 - 06:37 AM

SRS... is there an attachment for "heavy" tilling like, say, an engine?

A... "What a bold, sweet, and scintillating sentiment!" indeed! Great imagery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 13 - 04:23 AM

Why don't you go hang yourself? That would solve two problems with one rope! But, seeing as how you got that nuce number, 47800, I will with draw the suggestion.

In two days I am flying outta here, bound for Santa Fe, where an old friend of mine is goiving a bodacious concert.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 13 - 11:12 PM

I know! We'll jist string up a poem-writin' bancordion player. Them there bancordions combine banjos and accordions into one irresponsible instrument.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Apr 13 - 11:00 PM

At my university it has been a splendid mix of poetry and music.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 13 - 10:28 PM

Dang! Poet-tree month and we ain't hanged one yet! We only got us one day left, and there ain't a poet in sight 'round hyar. Y'all think a we could string up a banjo player instead?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 13 - 03:19 PM

"moigle flop and flair, inter mingle course and twine
if there was not another
you could always be mine".

What a bold, sweet, and scintillating sentiment!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Apr 13 - 02:34 PM

April is poetry month so I will hide this here:



Moigle flop and flair
Intermingle, course and twine
mediate fere and play.
in the bothness we share today.
Every when where and why is a unique beach where clouds fly
Softly mirrored beneath the waves, the waves mix sea and sky
The thin band of sand and water join ocean deep and mountain peak.
Shores at the touch of your beloved and you are also high and deep.
Empty infinities between a tiny touch are filled with gravities.
or virtual dimensions and particles that are in part you and me.
At the beach there is only compromise, between one and another.
Between mist and granite, clay that can't stand it ,
and the river tide that resist the sea..
No place exists without compromise, not even event horizons.
Not even science and religion or Zeus and Poseidon.
Even when the waves are rip tide de-amplified or doubled in reverse
There is a strip of safety someplace on the beach.
We could all sit upon a beach somewhere looking at the fire
with unspoken expectations
in gestures, questions or verse.
When someone suddenly sings
a silly funsense song
"moigle flop and flair, inter mingle course and twine
if there was not another
you could always be mine".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 11:05 PM

Ho, ho, ho from Idaho, where we don't hoe, hoe, hoe no mo'!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 10:22 PM

. . . and expect to be hammered by "ho" puns from Rap, who seems to have a professional association going these days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 10:14 PM

So get the wheel-operated stirrup hoe and go for it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 08:07 PM

I called an old friend because of your earlier post, SRS. I had garden fever again this year but, in the past, my health is my annual excuse for not getting the job done. Looonnnnggggg story. Then, I thought.... I don't need to rent a tiiler and have him spare my back. I need to be a injuneer... an idea man. Hmmm... I eat yoghurt that I buy in 650ml plastic containers. I have a knife. I have a yard*. Why do I need any help or a gas powered rigginfriggin?

My idea may never work, but I am gonna try it. If it does work, I'll get my 15 minutes.

* A yard which I bought from a neighbour of my family home. A yard in which there was a garden that *I* tilled, as a young boy, with shovel and pitch fork, choking on the smell of FRESH horseshit (large, GREEN horsefies with every disturbance) and cowshit and sheepshit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 07:23 PM

A Stirrup Hoe. And from that link I found wheel hoes.

Hot diggity!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 12:35 PM

"a new garden tool" I shall be in suspense until it is unveiled! Is there a scheduled refresh thingywhotsit fer this that I can set for every few minutes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 11:37 AM

Theyre was a Knighte, who travel'd farre
Sir Tyffiquette   yclept.
And ne'er a sin or uncouth word
Would add he to his debt
Untille the knighte in passing by
A Touwere, tall and sere
Became he snared in Realitee
At the hands of Guenivere.
ANd with her Wiles she did ensnare
His mind much to his woe,
WIthe flashinge Eyes and low-cutte Blouse
She caused his pulse to Growe.
And though he fought a manly Fighte
He could not break Himme loose.
For in the hands of a Damselle Fayre
Sir Tyffiquette was no use.

Geoffery of Mulholland
Third Chaucer
as translated by A.,
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 11:10 AM

MOM! I found a new garden tool that I MUST HAVE and that I don't have in my copious collection of garden hand tools. I'm off to Lowe's . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 10:06 AM

Match it. Go ahead, match me. Prove that you too have a certificate. C'mon, I dare ya. And I got more certificates. Probably more than you do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 08:52 AM

Yeah? Well I am a certified hoser. Aeroquip no less... King of the hosers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 01:35 AM

I always knew you wuz certifiable, Rapparee. Congrats on making it come true!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 11:51 PM

I'm back from class and got my certificate. I was told to pretty much do whatever I wanted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 09:45 PM

The smell of fresh baked bread is drifting through the house. And I baked a pie! Come on over for a sandwich and a slice of pumpkin pie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 08:41 AM

I'm off to class, Mom. See you later, alligator!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 10:50 PM

Extensive destructive testing was done to establish these limits. For instance, work was examined with indented, basiliar and linear skull fractures inflicted by a blackjack applied by a carefully calibrated machine to the skulls of...volunteers...and sorted for gender, age, hair thickness, nationality, and other variables. Even genetic makeup was taken into account (males between the ages of 21 and 25, weighing 150 pounds and standing 72 inches tall who regularly work a bright crimson lipstick were most likely to suffer from indented linear fractures when a piece of 1/2 inch rebar rather than a blackjack was was deployed at a contact force of 25 psi, for example).

If you are truly interested in the results I refer you to the CJMCI (125:15, p. 176ff.).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 10:54 AM

Rap... on a technical point, would a half Irish Canuck be subject to 1 500 N? Further, is there a limit on live loading cycles and does this have any impact on the allowable load; is there a factor of safety (I assume any such factor of safety value would be a minimum of at least 2.0 given the unknown variable of impact resistance in an attempt to ensure the safety of the roller(s).) or has this been taken into account in the initial analysis and conclusions?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 10:37 AM

Hey, MOM, it's Friday. Put the beer in the cooler and get ready to tailgate tonight. Best thing about it, you don't need to go anywhere, fight crowds, deal with drunk drivers. Just pull the truck up around the garage under the trees and set up the grill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 09:11 AM

Of course. And I have to protect the customer from predatory activities by the business. For example, no mattress is allowed to have a hole in it, especially if the hole goes into the springs.

Now, if the customer wants a bris via the springs a whole new set of rules come into play and I have to bring in a mohel.

And green young men must also be protected. For example, no one can use a blackjack with a force greater than 800 newtons when rolling a customer who is under 24 unless the customer is Irish or Canadian or a banjo player. In the first two cases a force greater than 1,000 newtons is allowed due to skull hardness and in the last any force can be used as there is no cognitive function to damage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 08:53 AM

Oooh! All those sevenses . . . . . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 05:37 AM

Is there a safety code you must address as well, Rap? After all, an invitee must be saved from harm at all times while on a property of business. Do you have to test for matress firmness n such?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 02:20 AM

See, there's the problem. He'd do a great job as a Brothel inspector until someone called out six consecutive digits of pi, or happened to say something in Base 9. Rapparre is as distractable by passing numbers as a dog is by the discovery of a mackerel rotting in the moonlight. This makes him unreliable -- you can never tell WHO will amble in to an interesting brothel and Standards Must Be Kept Up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 12:14 AM

47774!!!

A palindrome if ever there was one!


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