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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 12 Dec 12 - 08:22 PM
Acme 12 Dec 12 - 03:36 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 03:33 PM
Acme 12 Dec 12 - 01:19 PM
Amos 12 Dec 12 - 11:40 AM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 11 Dec 12 - 10:35 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 12 - 07:20 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 12 - 04:15 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 12 - 08:11 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 12 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 12 - 10:09 AM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 12 - 09:42 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 12 - 09:16 PM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM
gnu 09 Dec 12 - 07:19 PM
Amos 09 Dec 12 - 06:56 PM
gnu 09 Dec 12 - 06:17 PM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 05:36 PM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 12 - 01:12 PM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 11:08 AM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 12 - 11:50 PM
Acme 08 Dec 12 - 08:13 PM
gnu 08 Dec 12 - 05:20 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 05:07 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 12 - 04:04 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 03:46 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 12 - 03:41 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 03:37 PM
gnu 08 Dec 12 - 02:52 PM
Amos 08 Dec 12 - 02:42 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 12 - 11:37 AM
Amos 08 Dec 12 - 03:12 AM
Rapparee 07 Dec 12 - 10:04 PM
Little Hawk 07 Dec 12 - 02:04 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 12 - 09:08 AM
Amos 07 Dec 12 - 08:54 AM
Rapparee 06 Dec 12 - 11:39 PM
Acme 06 Dec 12 - 10:00 PM
Rapparee 06 Dec 12 - 08:48 PM
Amos 06 Dec 12 - 07:46 PM
Rapparee 06 Dec 12 - 05:26 PM
Little Hawk 06 Dec 12 - 12:19 PM
GUEST,Simon of Rottingham 06 Dec 12 - 09:10 AM
Acme 06 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM
Rapparee 06 Dec 12 - 12:16 AM
Little Hawk 05 Dec 12 - 08:58 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 08:22 PM

For a guy who is still in his first childhood, he's pretty bright, him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 03:36 PM

Good idea!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 03:34 PM

In fact, on the 24-hour clock you can claim 11/12/13 at 14:15:16.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 03:33 PM

Chin up, Stilly old girl! Pip, pip and all that! Next year you can claim 11/12/13 at 11:12:13 Zulu, AST, EST, CST, MST, PST, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 01:19 PM

You can still enjoy the 12:12:12 on 12/12/12 on the west coast. I wasn't paying attention and it went past already. I am crushed. Crushed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 11:40 AM

It's actually 12/12/2012,wise guy. It hasn't been 12/12/12 for two thousand years.

On the ACTUAL 12/12/12, the carpenter kiddy was hanging out and laying down licks on the fat cats at the money tables outside Temple. They got entirely jazzed up, and he told his Mom not to bug him on account he was doing it for Dad.

But that was long ago, very far away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 09:56 AM

See, Mom? It's 12/12/12 -- triple double boxcars -- and I'm the only one who cares.

Leave me all your money and stuff, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 12 - 10:35 PM

Or it could be the other way around. The Stoli bottle seems awfully empty for one I just opened.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 12 - 07:20 PM

Here, Mom. Have some refreshment...lemonade with just a touch of vodka.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 12 - 04:15 PM

For goodness' sake, Mom! Hanging out second from the very bottom with custard apples! Have you no shame?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 12 - 08:11 PM

Yeah, that's been quite a sensation around here, Stilly. No, I don't know her. I don't think Chongo does either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 12 - 12:48 PM

It was so cold this morning up in the hills that the elk hunters all came back. They'd shoot at an elk with a bow or a rifle and the arrow or bullet would freeze in its flight. Come Spring I think I'll wait for a couple of warm weeks before hiking around, because when the thaw hits it's gonna be like a shooting gallery up there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 12 - 10:09 AM

That's Chonga's latest girlfriend. He thinks she's "just as cute as a button."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 11:00 PM

LH, is this a friend of yours?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 09:42 PM

Oh, yes. It was 18F (-7.78C for you unAmericans) with a dusting of snow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 09:16 PM

Not for long, LH. Big Abner and the No. Side Apes are gonna let him experience the warm, caressing waters of Lake Michigan any day now.

"Mommy, Mommy! Amos took me swimming!"
"That's nice. Was it fun?"
"After I got out of the ropes."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM

It's no wonder Chongo harbours resentment against you, Amos! Don't forget: He was born in sunny equatorial Africa. Now he must cope with the windy streets of Chicago in December.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 07:19 PM

GO FISH!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:56 PM

You guys are kidding, right? Around the CORNER? We're suffering winter sunshine in all its full-on fury. It comes down from the skies, fills up the yards, bounces off the houses and into the streets. And COLD? Well, I swan. I had to wear a light jacket all morning!! ALL MORNING!! Can you BELIEVE that? Where's all that global warming now, wise guys? I didn't even want to go swimming today it was so frigid at the beach. I don't know what this world is coming to!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:17 PM

"MOM wants to know if you boys set up the bird feeders. How about the birds of prey feeders?"

Ahhh, same thing, innit?

Re winter....

Subject: RE: What's the weather like where you are?
From:gnu - PM
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:02 PM

45.5 down under? Well, I just rearranged the garages, placed the snowblower in my garage, serviced and gassed it, gassed the generator, put brooms and small shovels and scrapers in both weehicles, put large shovels near the doors of each garage and inside my house by the back door, bungee corded one large shovel to the railing at my back door, and parked my truck with the back of the cab in line with the front of my house.

It was clear and sunny and 4C this afternoon with a 40kph NW wind that died to nare a strip o wind two hours before dark! First NW this fall when it was less than 10C. I can smell it! New moon on the 13th... any time within the next 24 to 96 hours we will have our first "winter". It won't be bad but we will see the face of Old Man Winter. Miserable old git that he can be.

Now, I could be wrong but my old man taught me well... we'll see.

Freda... 45.5C? That is insufferable! My heart sweats for you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 05:36 PM

Around the corner on the calendar for you, around the corner on the weather forecast for us. It's cooling considerably this afternoon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 01:12 PM

It's not around the corner here. It's in plain sight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 11:08 AM

Winter is just around the corner. MOM wants to know if you boys set up the bird feeders. How about the birds of prey feeders? Anyone bring back roadkill for that platform up in the pine out back?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM

He loves chicken strips, so that's what we made. I posted a YouTube video (not listed) with a demonstration, and we went through the tips today. I think he has this one nailed. Next we'll do chicken marsala.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 11:50 PM

Very good. The very first thing I learned to cook was crepes (with sweet filling), because I felt that my mother wasn't making them nearly often enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 08:13 PM

My youngest child is now back in town. We went from the airport to the kitchen and made a late lunch. He is wanting to learn how to cook because he apparently wants some control over what he gets to eat. Good for him!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 05:20 PM

I have a copy, first printing!, of "A Long Shot". I must see if I can find it. I wrote it in 1984.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 05:07 PM

They snipe the trash cans and gutters for the dregs left in the cups. Kinda like Shame does at Tim's.

By the way, I have thus far cataloged 1,267 of my books. That's 298,266 pages, or an average of 245 pages per book. And I ain't done yet, not by a long shot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 04:04 PM

I have a hard time connecting gutter bums with Starbucks for some reason... ;-) Starbucks is too expensive for the homeless.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:46 PM

Yeah, hanging around Starbucks and other low dives destroys what was once a promising youth. Now look at poor Amos! All grizzled up and bumming roaches off other gutter bums.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:41 PM

When he overdoses on Chai Latte' he goes totally wild.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:37 PM

Amos has a naughty-cal background and, well, you know them sailors....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 02:52 PM

You beat up a cow on the docks? Cows are female bovines, BTW. But, I assume, in yer drunken state, down on the docks, late at night, well...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 02:42 PM

It was a problem of cheesecake, not beefsteak. Anyway, it was just a scratch, and you shoulda seen da udder guy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 11:37 AM

Why were you up so late? Were you out carousing down near the docks again? Mom said that if you have another black eye you'll have to buy your own beefsteak this time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 12 - 03:12 AM

WHy should someone as uneven as Rapparee have any claim on an even number? I think he should be confined to odd numbers henceforth, for good and sufficient and self-evident reason.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 12 - 10:04 PM

The next true spinner number will be 60009. This, on the other hand, was the next even number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 12 - 02:04 PM

Dibs on 66666. I like to plan well ahead.

Amos, Chongo needs your mailing address. He wants to send you something nice for Christmas. Maybe you could PM it to me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 12 - 09:08 AM

Dibs on 46664.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 12 - 08:54 AM

Jazzy title for a pop song,t here Rapp:

As we demean the demesne
It brings back a feeling revolting
Like hippopotami pole-vaulting
WHen they demean
The demsne


I'm with you once more
Riding with Mom
And picking her up
WHen she goes insane
And Stilly and Gnu
Are shaking thier manes
As we demean
The demesne.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 11:39 PM

I have been cataloging my books. So far I have cataloged 1,187 of them, with only 5 duplications.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 10:00 PM

I think Simon should have used a superscript for the thorn.


Instead of ye fire armes it would be ye fire armes. Or type this Þ (Þ)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 08:48 PM

Amos, do not demean this demesne. It is all we have at the moment. I'm certain Simon had a good reason to leave it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 07:46 PM

A well grounded argument, good Rapp. As for Simon's incomprehensible pseudobabble, we are well off he has long left this mortal demesne.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 05:26 PM

Every dachshund owner I know (and I know several) shovels the yard clear of snow and puts a series of overhead electric heater up so the poor little things can do what they need to do in comfort. During snowy or rainy weather they protect the poor little darling with an umbrella. Daisy Gnedddenhutten was electrocuted last winter when the umbrella she was carrying over her Precious Pepper touched the heating elements of an overhead electric heater; Precious Pepper wouldn't go out again for a couple of hours after that tragedy.

I'm not saying that you should go so far as to electrocute yourself for dachshunds, LH, but certainly you must have the dog's "grounds" arranged as above and so do be careful carrying the umbrella.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 12:19 PM

Hmmm. Well, that was different! Thanks, Simon.

Stilly, you have given sage advice there. Yes, Dachshunds always pee on the carpet, NOT on the bare floor! They find it better that way, rotten little things that they are. Persuading them to go out on a cold night isn't easy. A measure of force is usually required.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Simon of Rottingham
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 09:10 AM

Ye Bludynez Manuscript or Palimpsest


on making ye defense et attacke.




Know that I, Simon of Rottinham, do yis dai put penne to papre and committ to riting all that I hast lernt of
defense et attacke during mi long and honirable careere in ye military armes. I do yis so yt ye info might not be lost to
the ken of mortal menne nor or mortal womenne eiyer. By doing yis I hast made it so yt ye-all will not have to
reinvente ye wheele, so to speake.




Know ye yt ye best defense ist ye good ofense, and take up to live as best as ye can to my stile of life, as e’en my gud
wyfe doy say, Ye art ye most offensif wight who ne’er wiped shoen before y-comin in from ye mud and slyme of ye
barnyard. And yen she doth hitteth me with ye spyder, ye pot, ye skyllet, and ye pan. Learn that e’en being ye best
ofensif doth no always prevail, e’en tho’ ‘tis said to be ye best defens.




And take ye oeroes, and grind them fyne, and mix with 2 parts of oereos so ground 3 parts of sand and wette ye same
wiy bullock’s blud sufficient, and ye wals made with yis most excellente siment or mortyr will withstand ye trebuchet,
ye oranger, ye mining, ye 175 mm goone howitzere and wilt, if mixes aright, e’en turn thy M1A1 tanke of Abrams.




And best for ye defensee when confronted by ye force superiore too one’s own, is to droppeth thy breeches, grasp thy
ankles with thy handes, right to right and left to left, and laboring ahard at it, swingeth betwen thy own legges, and
kisseth thy arse goodby. Rember, yo, yat yere be no dishonour in running to fight another daye.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM

Hey guys, looks like winter might finally arrive. Will one of you go knock the chunk of 2x4 out of the window jamb so MOM doesn't get cold in her room tonight? And reach up on that high shelf in the closet and get another quilt to throw on her bed. And LH, let that dachshund out to pee before bedtime so he doesn't leave a puddle on the carpet again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 12 - 12:16 AM

Yeah, it was gettin' to be a real drag in the Army, with the sergeant bitchin' all the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 12 - 08:58 PM

That's good to hear, Rap.


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