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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 26 Feb 17 - 02:31 PM
Acme 26 Feb 17 - 10:20 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 17 - 10:16 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 17 - 10:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 17 - 01:55 PM
Amos 25 Feb 17 - 01:35 PM
keberoxu 25 Feb 17 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 17 - 12:24 PM
gnu 25 Feb 17 - 10:51 AM
Acme 24 Feb 17 - 11:59 PM
Amos 24 Feb 17 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 17 - 06:53 PM
keberoxu 24 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM
keberoxu 23 Feb 17 - 07:02 PM
keberoxu 23 Feb 17 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM
Amos 22 Feb 17 - 04:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 17 - 11:45 PM
Acme 21 Feb 17 - 11:18 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 17 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 17 - 09:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 17 - 08:10 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 17 - 07:04 PM
Amos 21 Feb 17 - 05:47 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 17 - 09:12 AM
MMario 21 Feb 17 - 08:36 AM
Amos 20 Feb 17 - 07:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Feb 17 - 06:08 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 17 - 05:41 PM
gnu 20 Feb 17 - 04:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Feb 17 - 01:49 PM
gnu 20 Feb 17 - 12:42 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 17 - 10:01 AM
Rapparee 19 Feb 17 - 09:32 PM
Amos 19 Feb 17 - 05:16 PM
keberoxu 19 Feb 17 - 01:49 PM
Amos 19 Feb 17 - 08:35 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Feb 17 - 08:28 AM
gnu 18 Feb 17 - 05:17 AM
Rapparee 17 Feb 17 - 09:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Feb 17 - 03:29 PM
Amos 16 Feb 17 - 10:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 17 - 04:02 PM
keberoxu 16 Feb 17 - 03:14 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 17 - 09:52 PM
Acme 15 Feb 17 - 08:41 PM
Amos 15 Feb 17 - 08:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 17 - 07:21 PM
Amos 14 Feb 17 - 10:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 17 - 08:09 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 02:31 PM

It is neither snow nor slaw. It is stew. Exactly what is meant by "85.8 inches of stew" is a bit of a mystery. Is it measured vertically, as if a cup of stew were tossed into the air? Is it measured horizontally, as if a pot of stew were spilled on th floor? And, if measured horizontally, is it a measurement of the spill's furthest reach, its diameter, or its area? Or is it a measurement of volume? (85.8 cubic inches of stew would fit in a cube roughly 4.5 inches per side.) And does it matter whether the stew is made with beef or lamb?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 10:20 AM

Twelve hours till she drops off the page, but MOM is near the bottom so I'll boost her up. And while I'm at it here's a cuppa tea.

What is this snow slaw you speak of? A salad or a dessert?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 10:16 PM

K, probably on the 7th.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 10:15 PM

85.5 inches of snew, Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 01:55 PM

85.8 inches of slaw is not so much. Check out this picture of three folk musicians preparing a batch of slaw to take to a potluck picking party.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 01:35 PM

Rapp: Why are you collecting such an ungodly amount of slaw? Even Old King Cole didn't eat 85 inches of it! It would choke a horse!

Enquiring minds, etc. ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 12:48 PM

Your Imperial Rapness,
when will you know whether or not you are clear to travel to Norway as planned? If you can still go, that will make the pain -- almost -- worthwhile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 12:24 PM

85.8 inches of s***w so far this winter, surpassing the old second-highest record.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 10:51 AM

This video is not available.
Sorry about that

You Tube hates me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 11:59 PM

So the bad buyer went farther than her previous few attempts, but still didn't manage to finally buy a house. I wonder if Realtors® keep a little list. Not to blacklist (shudder at the thought!), but of those clients who, should said Realtors® encounter them, be held to a higher standard because they are known to be unreliable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 10:04 PM

Such intrepid courage in the face of overwhelming adversity God rarely calls up in mortal men. Rapp is clearly a mountain of a man--snowcapped, wide-waisted, hard to climb, impenetrable and fond of posing on the horizon.

The bad buyer failed us but we have been in escrow for a week now with Good Buyers, who are Asian and young and earnest and have a sugar daddy, so we believe all will be completed successfully by 15 March. Pray for our escrow, paramount in the annals of human history!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 06:53 PM

Here I sit, typing with one finger because my left arm is swathed in a splint and bandages. The pain is so great that I am fighting to stay conscious. But I am one of Mom's and I will survive this!













!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM

Someone's got to do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Feb 17 - 07:02 PM

Okay, while His Imperial Tyrannosaurus Rap is mending from the barber-chirurgien's attentions, one of us had better hoist MOM up here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Feb 17 - 01:01 PM

But Amos, did you finally get everything squared away with the California buyer who was complicating everything? Hope that's done and dusted now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM

Mom, it's tomorrow at 5:30 a.m. Mom, I checked and God doesn't get up that early!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 17 - 04:51 PM

You could use honey, or if you're a real techie, a compound of aspartame and ground spandex...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 11:45 PM

It's okay to eliminate sugar from your diet, just as long as you double up on the butter, lard, and bacon fat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 11:18 PM

I put a batch of oatmeal in the crockpot now for tomorrow morning. I'm trying to cut out sugar from my diet, but I can't help myself, I have to kind of pave the top of the hot cereal with brown sugar before I pour on the milk. Maybe if MOM is around in the kitchen I'll be better and use less.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 09:45 PM

If you ARE a patriot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 09:32 PM

Don't forget to mention our brave Space Corps, who have been fighting for the freedom of the USA and the Solar System! Here's a link showing them fighting off three attacking alien (probably ISIS, the InterStellar Icarian Soldiers) craft all at once.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 08:10 PM

Hi, Mom! I have been offered a job in Washington DC! President Bannon has created a new cabinet level department called The Department of Fictitious Events and it needs a secretary. The DOFE's chief responsibility will be creating non-existent terror attacks.

President Bannon feels that nearly fourteen years of creating lies, prevarications, and other forms of humbug here at the MOAB is more than adequate qualification for the position.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 07:04 PM

Washington, DC, a/k/a Fantasyland on the Potomac.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 05:47 PM

Back when I would rant at Bearded Bruce about how delusory and self-centered W was, I had no idea it could get so very much worse!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 09:12 AM

George Washington was born February 11, 1732 (OS) and hence shares a birthday with Thomas Edison and me. Abraham Lincoln was actually born February 11, but his father's watch was fast -- he actually shares a birthday with George, Tom, and me. And to give divine approval to us, Bernadette Soubirous first saw "the Lady" at Lourdes on February 11, 1858. Back in my days in Catholic elementary school it was also the feast of St. Adolf of Osnabruck (it still is) and the patron of the pastor, so we got the day off from school. I, in my humble way, always told those who didn't know why we didn't have to go to school that it was because that's how the Catholic Church celebrated my birthday.

Historically, the Magna Carta, Virginia Declaration of the Rights of Man, Declaration of Independence, and the US Constitution was all signed on February 11, but their effective dates were changed to what we know them as now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 08:36 AM

Hey Mom! Tell Bee-dubya-ell that 2/17 was LINCOLN'S birthday, not G. Washington's.

2/22 is Washington's Birthday, or as it was known in our house "Dad's Birthday" -

Wednesday would have been Dad's hundreth. He missed it by less then 2 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 17 - 07:47 PM

I like your Mom, Gnuzer! My kind of one-liner!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Feb 17 - 06:08 PM

I bought a suit for my sister-in-law's funeral about fifteen years ago. Went to wear it to something else a few years later, and moths had eaten holes in it. $500 and wore it once. If I'd bought a banjo instead, I'd still have it and it wouldn't have made a bit of difference to sis-in-law either way.

Since then, it's been sport coat, slacks, and tie. If that ain't good enough for some, screw 'em. At least I'm wearing clothes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 17 - 05:41 PM

You did your good, gnu. They're probably up there on some cloud, looking down on you, and laughing their asses off to see you making nice in a suit. Me, I wore a blazer and slacks and shirt and tie for my sister's funeral back in December. I think I have a suit, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 17 - 04:14 PM

GW the I seems like he was a cool dude. I mean, the wooden teeth myth spread by Fox News back then proves he was adored, idolized, by many.

So, I went to the parlour, spotted the greeting line, shook hands with his five sons (didn't see the daughter), kneeled on the deeply padded bench, crossed myself* out of respect for Vic, said a heartfelt prayer with head bowed and eyes closed, crossed myself again, looked at Vic and said, "Thanks, Vic. Gonna miss ya, Bud." And hobbled (I shall not kneel again!) out with moist eyes.

I was home in jig time. Took me longer to get dressed than I spent in the visitation room (that happens when you ONLY EVER wear a tie to funeral parlours and funerals). Mum was at the back door checking on the mail when I got back so I went over to have a short chat. Mum asks, "Have you been there already?" "Yup." "Oh dear, I won't say what I was just going to say." "Tell me." "No, you might get upset." "Me? Upset? Huh? Tell me." "Well, you were back so quickly that I was going to ask, "Was he there?"" I roared with laughter. That's going in my short story about Vic and Bernice (Bernice died a few years back). Along with the mustard pickles, mason jars, cookies, tomatos, and others. I will miss them both now.

* Cat'lics have Dog on speed-dial.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Feb 17 - 01:49 PM

Hi, Mom. Today is not Presidents' Day. It's still officially George Washington's Birthday. The name has never been officially changed to Presidents' Day, even though that's what most people call it. So, I choose to celebrate George Washington's Birthday so that I don't, by implication, celebrate the presidencies of Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, or D****d T***p. George Washington, I have no problem with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 17 - 12:42 PM

Twas a loverly day yesterday. Weather looks pretty good all week. Today, is one of those days I detest. It's a 3-piece blue pinstripe day. Vic, directly across the street from me, passed the other day so I am off anon to deliver condolences. Gonna miss our chats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 17 - 10:01 AM

Amos, I'm afraid that I simply couldn't be rollicking on the commons. I am far too well bred and brought up for sort of thing. "Commons" indeed! Humph!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 17 - 09:32 PM

Well, it was 48F (call it 9C) here today. Then it rained. Then it snowed. I took a nap, and when I awoke it was brilliant blue sky and today's snow had melted.

Monday 02/20 80% / 0.2 in

Showers in the morning, becoming a steady rain in the afternoon. Windy. High 43F. Winds S at 20 to 30 mph. Chance of rain 80%. Rainfall near a quarter of an inch. Winds could occasionally gust over 40 mph.
Monday Night 02/20 70% / 0.16 in

Steady light rain in the evening. Windy with showers continuing late. Low 41F. Winds S at 20 to 30 mph. Chance of rain 70%. Winds could occasionally gust over 40 mph.


On the 14th I went to a concert by the The Irish Rovers and on the 16th one by
The Bar J Wranglers.

However! I woke up on the 14th with a bad, bad pain in the inside of my left elbow. To the doctor! and was told it was probably a strain or a sprain so just rest it. Friday I went again -- it's probable that I've torn at least the bicep loose, just as I did some years back on the right arm.

On the 13th of March I'm supposed to leave for a cruise up and down the sunny coast of Norway. Fill in the blank with the expletive of your choice: Ah, ___________________________________________!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 17 - 05:16 PM

Meanwhile we are rollicking on the commons in 65ºF sunshine today, a Sunday classic for early Spring in the middle of Febraury. Dogs are gamboling, folks chatting in their shirtsleeves, and the stately Eno rolls down to the sea under the kindly afternoon sun. Daffodills have begun flowering.

Back in California I had one rocking session a week. Last week I had the Nash St Brewery, the Thursday night jam session and tonight I am going to a bonfire old-time music jam Folks remain open and kindly and friendly in spite of my origins as a goddamned carpetbagger. They are taking their duties as citizens and as kind souls seriously.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Feb 17 - 01:49 PM

Poor gnu. Thanks for letting us know that you are still alive, shoveling, and cussing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 17 - 08:35 AM

What I don't understand is why Gnu doesn't pack up his mother and leave that whole "good manners, smart president, good health care" shtick behind and move south to the land of imbecilic autocrats and overpriced pharmaceuticals and free BS. It just doesn't make sense to put up with such terrible weather every year!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Feb 17 - 08:28 AM

Yes, gnu, a bit of rain on top of all that snow and then a return to sub-freezing temps would turn your situation from unpleasant to truly biblical. Expect people from Hollywood to come knocking on your door offering mega-bucks for the opportunity to film it all.

Of course, they'll want to toss in a few plagues and pestilences, bring in a pharaoh or two for a bit of scourging, and have a few bushes spontaneously combust just to add a bit of context. I hope your back yard's big enough to accommodate the Red Sea so Moses can do that parting thing he does so well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 17 - 05:17 AM

The Thursday storm didn't happen as forecast. Twas only suppose to really get going toward daylight and we were suppose to get 60-90 kph NE which would gradually turn NNW and subside to 40-70 KPH by early afternoon. But, no, Old Man Winter decided that would be too easy on my back so, in the middle of the night, he decided to change it to snow like a sumbitch with 50-80 N such that, when I went to clear Mum's back door, I had to shovel my way to the door through double thigh deep drifts... prick. By noon, it was 40-70 kph NNW and the storm stalled and spun until it blew itself out around 7PM. The centre of the storm at the end of it was directly across from Mum's backdoor where her driveway meets mine. The only thing that could really mess us up now is more snow soon or maybe, say, if, on the chance, the temperature rises to 5C tomorrow and we get some rain... prick.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 17 - 09:44 PM

Yes, Amos is a force field to be reckoned with. Or upon. If he'd been in the South between 1861 and 1865 the South might have won The War. But he wasn't and as a result the South lost.

SO IT'S ALL AMOS' FAULT!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Feb 17 - 03:29 PM

Speaking of winter storms, southern California is going to drown this weekend. What's being called the biggest storm in six years is on its way there. That's what happens when Amos moves away and takes his Cosmic Weather Shield with him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 17 - 10:37 PM

THere all goofy, but this one is no mini.

We are having chilly weather here in the South, too. Wearing sweaters even. Bitter winds blowing around. But the daffodils are up and trhe redbud tree is blooming; let us hope it is not misplaced vegetarian optimism.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 17 - 04:02 PM

Winter Storm Pluto, huh? Did I miss Winter Storm Goofy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Feb 17 - 03:14 PM

I do hope Gnu is still alive after "Winter Storm Pluto."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 17 - 09:52 PM

Well, good. The piles of ice and snow have pretty much sublimed away. Next week: rain and snow. And of course flooding. Lots of snow left in the "higher elevations." I drove through an underpass which had been flooded last weekend and except for the flotsam and jetsam and tree trunks and bodies and stuff marking the high water line you could barely tell it had happened at all.

Fortunately, no water has gotten into the Alky Cellar up at the Legion Hovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Feb 17 - 08:41 PM

MOM, we had a speck of chilly weather down here, nothing like the Gnuser up in NB, but cool enough that a fresh batch of lentil soup hit the spot. Not the icy top step on the porch, but the empty spot in my tummy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 17 - 08:01 PM

Crowd goes wild, rafters shake with the stamping of feet and the echoes of applause. Infatuated groupies carry BWL off tot heir boudoir on their naked shoulders.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 17 - 07:21 PM

To the tune of "I Love Paris"

I Don't Miss Chongo

♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬

I don't miss Chongo in the springtime
I don't miss Chongo in the fall
I don't miss Chongo in the winter
I don't miss that ape at all

I don't miss Chongo in the morning
Don't miss him in the afternoon
I don't miss Chongo
Why the hell would I miss Chongo
He smells like a baboon

♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 17 - 10:46 PM

Out here in NAWTH Carolina, it's all good! The weather bounces between 80ºF and 50ºF, and the winds slip from five to twenty knots. The days slip from sunny and bright to windy and gray as Spring sneaks in and Winter fights back. The people just line up and cheer on the sidelines.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 17 - 08:09 PM

Rap, everything in Louisiana is good. Except the cops in New Orleans. And the so-called health professionals in New Orleans. And the politicians in New Orleans (plus about half the politicians in the rest of the state). Put 'em all together, and they're worth about half as much as a bowl of red beans and rice from a greasy diner on Magazine Street.


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