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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 10 Oct 12 - 02:56 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 12 - 02:53 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 12 - 02:45 PM
MMario 10 Oct 12 - 12:33 PM
GUEST 10 Oct 12 - 12:26 PM
Acme 10 Oct 12 - 11:52 AM
Rapparee 10 Oct 12 - 10:06 AM
Amos 10 Oct 12 - 08:15 AM
Rapparee 10 Oct 12 - 12:27 AM
Little Hawk 09 Oct 12 - 05:19 PM
Little Hawk 09 Oct 12 - 04:59 PM
gnu 09 Oct 12 - 04:10 PM
MMario 09 Oct 12 - 04:01 PM
Acme 09 Oct 12 - 12:23 PM
Acme 09 Oct 12 - 12:22 PM
Little Hawk 09 Oct 12 - 11:10 AM
Rapparee 09 Oct 12 - 09:55 AM
Amos 09 Oct 12 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 09 Oct 12 - 12:21 AM
gnu 08 Oct 12 - 11:23 PM
Little Hawk 08 Oct 12 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 12 - 07:17 PM
Acme 08 Oct 12 - 06:58 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 12 - 06:27 PM
gnu 08 Oct 12 - 04:04 PM
Little Hawk 08 Oct 12 - 03:36 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 12 - 03:21 PM
Little Hawk 08 Oct 12 - 03:09 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 12 - 02:47 PM
Little Hawk 08 Oct 12 - 02:27 PM
Acme 08 Oct 12 - 11:45 AM
Amos 08 Oct 12 - 10:18 AM
Rapparee 08 Oct 12 - 10:00 AM
Amos 08 Oct 12 - 01:01 AM
Acme 08 Oct 12 - 12:39 AM
Little Hawk 08 Oct 12 - 12:37 AM
Rapparee 07 Oct 12 - 04:58 PM
Acme 07 Oct 12 - 01:52 PM
Amos 07 Oct 12 - 10:08 AM
Rapparee 06 Oct 12 - 10:30 PM
Little Hawk 06 Oct 12 - 10:16 PM
gnu 06 Oct 12 - 08:27 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 12 - 07:32 PM
gnu 06 Oct 12 - 05:41 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 12 - 03:43 PM
Little Hawk 06 Oct 12 - 01:09 PM
Acme 06 Oct 12 - 01:01 PM
Amos 06 Oct 12 - 12:08 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 12 - 11:58 AM
Little Hawk 06 Oct 12 - 11:31 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 02:56 PM

Someone's ear could get cut off too...or their dangly bits.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 02:53 PM

By the way, Mom, my class went well. I took the cavalry/dragoon saber and passed it around. Of course, I told them not to run with it or they might poke an eye out and nobody did. See? I remember you telling me, "You keep running with that dragoon saber and you'll poke an eye out!" and I've always followed your good advice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 02:45 PM

Mom, I thought you'd like to know that Amos tossed his cookies. I think he should clean it up, since he's not really sick but just drunk. Again. Yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 12:33 PM

Looks like someone lost his cookie!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 12:26 PM

Unfortunately,Sirrah, I never matriculated, and thus cannot be graded, passed, or upbraided on the standards of your rotten educational system....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 11:52 AM

You could ask for volunteers for demonstrations among your friends down at the Legion Hovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 10:06 AM

Amos, you know that seconds and surgeons would also be needed. And the Sheriff has to come galloping to stop it, arriving just a second too late. Then you need the judge, the attorneys, the jury, and (possibly) the hangman. Goodness, don't you know anything about dueling, even after all I've tried to teach you? You're heading for a failing grade unless you start working up to your potential, young man!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 08:15 AM

I hope you get an even number of students to not pair up for the non-practical part of the course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 12:27 AM

Tomorrow, October 10, 2012, at 10:00 a.m. MDT, I will teach a class on dueling.

It is an historical overview concentrating on the US, not a how-to class.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 05:19 PM

Any zombie who knows his or her business eats humans' entire bodies up, not just their brains.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 04:59 PM

Eh? What?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 04:10 PM

Yes, SRS... I asked for a different reason. Can't recall it so that's two yesses. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 04:01 PM

Rap said:All good zombies these days are looking for brains to eat.

Not the Vegan Zombies - they are after GRAAAAAAAAAAIIINNNNNSSSSS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 12:23 PM

No spatulas were mentioned or harmed in that post, however. You must have been feeling good - there were a couple of PMs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 12:22 PM

I did, gnu. Long one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 11:10 AM

I don't, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 09:55 AM

Yes, I do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 09:37 AM

Spatulas are like ravens. Does anyone know why?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 12:21 AM

Squirrels are like spatulas: they'll sneak up on you and before you know it....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 11:23 PM

I always did like you, George... until you fed the rats.

SRS... did you PM me at 10:35 PM?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 08:26 PM

gnu...it doesn't matter what you tell me, I will still like squirrels, I will still think they're cute, and I will still feed them. ;-) And you know what? They mostly like me too....once they get to know me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 07:17 PM

So did mine. Two other boys and a girl. I was an only child, though, just like my siblings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 06:58 PM

Life IS tough, isn't it? My parents had three of 'em after me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 06:27 PM

This is an appropriate time to post this.

On October 8, 1946, the most horrible event in the history of the world happened.

In the delivery room at St. Mary's Hospital, Quincy, Illinois, my brother Tony was born. That's right -- from then on I was no longer The Center Of The Universe! People no longer oohed and aahed over me, but over the "cute baby" (even though he was and still is uglier than twenty miles of mud fence). I did my best to convince my parents it was a mistake, to toss him back, to return him, but in vain -- they kept him. Even today I have a brother who's dumber than a cedar stump, uglier than home-made sin, and the father of seven kids (most of whom have managed to overcome their paternal handicap) and two grandkids (one of whom had a birthday yesterday). Sure, he was in Vietnam at the same time I was flitting around the Korean DMZ. Sure, he's pretty smart for someone so dumb. Sure, he's my only remaining brother and I'd have his back anytime just as he'd have mine.

Still, it was a horrible, terrible thing my parents did, diverting all the attention from me and making me share stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 04:04 PM

"Stilly, if squirrels are eating carrion, they're doing us all a favor. What I meant was, they don't deliberately pursue prey and kill it in order to eat it."

Oh dear. You really don't know squirrels... aaaat all.

They will deliberately kill and eat anything they can. Better be careful when you are feeding yer cute furry little rats with bushy tails. If there are enough of them and you are not alert, well, I wouldn't THAT on my headstone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 03:36 PM

Could be...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 03:21 PM

I never thought of it until reading the BS thread titles, but maybe that was a zombie squirrel out to eat brains. All good zombies these days are looking for brains to eat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 03:09 PM

That is very unusual, Rap! The squirrels and birds here have been coexisting with no problems. Perhaps that specific squirrel was a psycho...a sort of Jack the Ripper of the squirrel nation. I think you did the right thing in administering justice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 02:47 PM

That's a big fat fib, you fibber! I never used a club!

As for squirrels -- we had a bird feeder in our backyard in Indiana. For several days I found birds -- different species -- with the tops of their heads bitten off. One day I say, with my own eyes, a gray squirrel jump on a robin and bite the top of its head off. Perhaps it was for the birdseed, but I really don't know why it did it; I never looked for marks that the squirrel was eating the birds because the carcases were usually in poor shape when I found them.

This particular squirrel met with a fatal accident shortly after I witnessed the event.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 02:27 PM

Stilly, if squirrels are eating carrion, they're doing us all a favor. What I meant was, they don't deliberately pursue prey and kill it in order to eat it. We do (usually by proxy).

Take, for instance, the time Rapparee serenaded an attractive Manatee for days, thus gaining the poor creature's trust, then smacked it on the head with a club and served up Manatee steaks to his Legion mates at Thanksgiving! Shockingly cruel behaviour! No squirrel would do such a thing. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 11:45 AM

We're dating ourselves, all even knowing what Schmoos are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 10:18 AM

I didn't discuss that aspect with them, sir; my visit was brief, barely long enough for initial salutations and high-level ideas.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 10:00 AM

Manatees will willing become food and taste like whatever you want them to? Schmoos do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 01:01 AM

Manatee, on the other hand, have no natural enemies except motorboat propellors, and they live on river-bottom weeds. Much sweeter than squirrel. They're kinda like maritime Schmoos.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 12:39 AM

I've seen squirrels eating dead animals, including other squirrels in the road. They aren't the gentle little herbivores you represent, LH.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 12:37 AM

Cannibals say that people taste good too, Rap. "Almost like chicken..." they say.

Squirrels, on the other hand, do not eat ANY other living creature, but only dine on plant matter of various sorts such as seeds and nuts.

Seems to me that it is they who hold the higher moral ground here.

(Rats, on the other hand, will eat just about anything, given the chance...) But they're still cute and cuddly once you get to know them! Are you? I rest my case. ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 12 - 04:58 PM

It works fine, as far as I know. We haven't used it recently, though.

If you like the Harvest Gold you'd love our downstairs kitchen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Oct 12 - 01:52 PM

Ah, spatulas! Now that was a thread, wasn't it?

Rap, I love that 1970s Harvest Gold. So the monster hasn't died or burned up yet, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Oct 12 - 10:08 AM

I think that's true of life in general, except maybe spatulas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 10:30 PM

AND they taste good when prepared correctly! Squirrel recipes. And other things...like guinea pigs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 10:16 PM

I feed the squirrels too, gnu. I love the little rascals. I've got red ones, black ones, and gray ones, and I feed them all. They're so cute! ;-) I love the way they stand with their little hands folded in almost a "prayer" position, not to mention the way they holler and bitch from the trees whenever they get pissed off, which happens quite frequently. If you imitate them, they get even more upset (same as dogs do).

By the way, I like rats too. Ever seen "Ratatouille"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 08:27 PM

"... and misses." Watch? Ya don't have to. Ya can hear the little bastards squeak for hours about how pissed off they are. They get pissed off just because you are walking near the tree they are in. And they won't shut up.

I have never killed one just because it was annoying me with incessant complaining but I have raised my gun and thought it would be a waste of ammo and decided against "it". And, they yap at everything, including large buck deer, so they can be "used" to advantage, especially in wet weather. Hmmm... not for general discussion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 07:32 PM

Watch what happens when one of them makes a jump for a branch and misses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 05:41 PM

"... then a few strokes with a potato masher in the bowl before putting it under the beater arm makes the job go smoother." Ahhhh, that's EXACTLY what I was trying to avoid when I laid out the $. If I could still mash, knead and thrash without pain I wouldn't have a new mixer. It's simple... don't let em cool off before beatin tha crap out of em.

Nearly had a chance to try squirrel puree but the little bastard got out of my garage before I could get the door closed. My neighbour feeds it peanuts because it's soooo cute. Cute like a stomach pump! And, I have a BRAND NEW hockey stick I bought a long time ago but never had the chance to shoot squirrel with. Maybe next time?

Tho, it is cute. It runs along the telephone wires with peanuts in it's mouth and jumps from tree to tree. It's quite something to watch the antics. Very entertainig. The best acrobatic trick I saw was last fall when one of it's forebearers climbed the power pole out back and danced on the ceramic potential protection of a transformer. It was like watching David Coppersquirrel... a disappearing act... one minute it was there and then POOF! it was gone and all that remained was a puff of smoke! So was the electrical power to my house. Not much of an illusion, really, when yer lyin on the ground and there is smoke eminating from yer fried nuts.

Rats! with bushy tails! But they ARE cute, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 03:43 PM

We have a Oster Kitchen Center that does all of that stuff AND works as a blender and a grinder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 01:09 PM

They don't do anything that a small tactical nuke can't do just as well, and in half the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 01:01 PM

Congrats, Rap!

Good news on the maiden voyage of the mixer, gnu. Even though these devices are a powerhouse, that doesn't mean you can't speed up the process a little. I always mix the potatoes when they're hot, and use water they boiled in to thin them down to the proper consistency. If you've left them till they're cold then a few strokes with a potato masher in the bowl before putting it under the beater arm makes the job go smoother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 12:08 PM

Congratulations on surviving 39 years of marriage. As for your scurrilous innuendoes, all I can say is I insist on receiving the negatives.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 11:58 AM

I am still shaking off the vibes and lingering images.

Hangover, you mean. And I have some of those "lingering images" and it'll cost you a BUNCH for me not to post them.

Oh, hell. It's my 39th Wedding Anniversary and as my present to you I'll probably maybe destroy the pictures if I get around to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 11:31 AM

What you should be doing with all that free time you have now is working for Chongo and the APP and getting out the vote to put a REAL chimp in the White House. Don't you care at all about establishing equal primate rights? Fie, sir! Fie!


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