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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 11 Aug 12 - 03:01 PM
Amos 11 Aug 12 - 12:50 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 12 - 09:22 AM
gnu 10 Aug 12 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 12 - 10:06 PM
gnu 10 Aug 12 - 08:45 PM
gnu 10 Aug 12 - 08:37 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 12 - 08:14 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 10 Aug 12 - 07:40 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 12 - 07:36 PM
gnu 10 Aug 12 - 07:34 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 10 Aug 12 - 07:17 PM
gnu 10 Aug 12 - 06:52 PM
gnu 10 Aug 12 - 06:39 PM
Amos 10 Aug 12 - 04:44 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 12 - 02:27 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 12 - 02:26 PM
Rapparee 10 Aug 12 - 02:25 PM
Amos 10 Aug 12 - 11:47 AM
Rapparee 10 Aug 12 - 10:16 AM
Rapparee 10 Aug 12 - 10:02 AM
Amos 10 Aug 12 - 09:20 AM
Acme 10 Aug 12 - 02:38 AM
Amos 10 Aug 12 - 01:31 AM
Rapparee 09 Aug 12 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 12 - 08:59 PM
Amos 09 Aug 12 - 06:53 PM
Amos 09 Aug 12 - 12:39 PM
Amos 09 Aug 12 - 10:59 AM
GUEST,Obergeneralfeldmarschall Katrine von und zu 09 Aug 12 - 10:19 AM
Acme 09 Aug 12 - 01:38 AM
Rapparee 08 Aug 12 - 08:48 PM
Amos 08 Aug 12 - 06:58 PM
Rapparee 08 Aug 12 - 05:54 PM
Amos 08 Aug 12 - 05:35 PM
Rapparee 08 Aug 12 - 11:05 AM
Amos 08 Aug 12 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 07 Aug 12 - 11:04 PM
Amos 07 Aug 12 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 07 Aug 12 - 10:10 PM
gnu 07 Aug 12 - 08:13 PM
Rapparee 07 Aug 12 - 05:30 PM
Acme 07 Aug 12 - 05:06 PM
Amos 07 Aug 12 - 03:00 PM
Rapparee 07 Aug 12 - 01:39 PM
Amos 07 Aug 12 - 01:23 PM
Amos 07 Aug 12 - 09:59 AM
Acme 07 Aug 12 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 07 Aug 12 - 09:34 AM
gnu 07 Aug 12 - 06:20 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 12 - 03:01 PM

Amos, without looking it up, do YOU know who William Preston was? Besides being some Canadian, that is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 12 - 12:50 PM

Oh, DOctor, Doctor, come quick. It's me Mum, DOctor! She's like, gagging and writhing like, somethin' orful!! She's been like that for HOURS, oh come quick, Doctor, please do! Nar, she ain't been drinking, but there was a big bowl of poor-grade BS she scarfed last night. But she eats like that all the time!! I can't say 't was rotting, or no, but it smelled po'ful of artifice and presumption, them what she often uses to cover up the smell, you know. Oh, Doctor, pray come quick! I am afeared she is a-dyin'!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 12 - 09:22 AM

See? Shame is out there tryin' to figger out what these guys were bishops of, not who. He's thinkin', "Bishop Billy of Moose Jaw? Bishop Billy of Fort Doggerel? Billy, Bishop of Tim Horton's?" It gives his pre-paleolithic mind a headache when he tries to do complicated things like think or count to one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 10:12 PM

Billy Bishop? What about
Elvin Bishop?

I got some OLD tunes man. His whole album by that name is excellent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 10:06 PM

Well, yeah, but Shame wouldn't know the difference. Let's face it, he wouldn't know who Hal Foster, Bjarni Tryggvason, Izzy Asper, Jack Kent Cooke, John Molson, Marie-Joseph Angelique, Colin Thatcher, Earl W. Bascom, George Klein, Jeanne Mance, Billy Bishop, Roy Brown, Isaac Brock, Tim Buck, Louis Riel, Marshall McLuhan, Northrop Frye, Bartholomew Masterson, William Preston, Hector Blake, Gil Grand, Alex Trebek, Kate Maki, or Lee Aaron. He wouldn't know Jerry Edmonton from Sebastian Bach. The boy is just plain stone dumb and couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 08:45 PM

My last cut was 35:47 and the remaining disc space was 35:46. Is God not pleased with me FFS! Anyone know how to ask God to gimmie a sec?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 08:37 PM

Lawrence Welk was not a Canuck. You must have him confused with Larry Whelk from Buccinidae, New Brunswick.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 08:14 PM

What, you don't LIKE Lawrence Welk? And him Canadian and all??? Ain't you PROUD of Canadians? Shame, you disgrace the great nation of Canada!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 07:40 PM

Flip YOU, man!!! Ain't you got a good word for no one? Ya know what you are? You are like a travelin' black rain cloud that flippin' pisses on everyone as it passes by, eh? I am soooo flippin' glad you do not live in my town. It would be like a curse havin' you arownd here.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 07:36 PM

Ozzy Osborne. How VERY old-timey! Shame, do you also sing "Sidewalks of New York" and other songs from 1910? Shame, do you know that Ozzy is living in a nursing home, doesn't even have false teeth anymore, and uses a walker to shuffle down the hall to the lounge, where he watches Lawrence Welk re-runs that he listens to with his hearing aids?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 07:34 PM

Ohhhh! Ozzie minds me of the days!!! I gotta Deep Purple Machine Head with some blastin tracks man! Ain't Nobody Gonna Take My Car (Highway Star). And, from the NEW old stuff, I got so Satriani that is just bitchin!

BTW, Joe is one wild geetar man but... let me see if I can find it... the song I want at my next wedding... hang on...
a live version... you may like the studio and video versions at YT better... or I prefer the
video version.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 07:17 PM

" I shall be the envy of all at the next red light with my tunes on TEN."

Not if yer standin' next to ME, man, cos I will be drivin' Don's pickup truck, eh? It's a big red 4 x 4, and I will have Ozzie Ozbourne blastin' through the speakers and cranked up to ELEVEN!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 06:52 PM

Night time in the switchin yard. Night time in the switchin yard.

I am REALLY groovin on these tunes I haven't heard in 30+ years!

AND, I have some old new stuff by the poets of our times. Like Eminem.
OH YEAH... I got some Sade for when the traffic is slow and melllloooowwww. And some ZZ Top for when I am ziggin and zaggin through slow traffic... Antenna Head oughta be juuuusssst right. And if I want some RAMP it could be The Tragically Hip's New Orleans is Sinkin Or Jetrho Tull's Sparrow on the School Yard Wall. Then there's Barrett's Privateers or Cape St. Mary's to sing along to... aaaggghhhh!!! I gotta take my blood pressure... 126/70/61. I guess I can continue taping.

One dusty half hour's ride, up to the north...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 06:39 PM

Alas and alacky, I cannot open any links for I have recently figured out how to burn CDs of my cassette tapes and don't wish to mess up the audio feed. As I type I am recording Warren Zevon's Werewolves Of London. It shouldn't take much more time than playing the tape to have it available for my truck's CD player... although the first successful CD took about 20 hours of fuckin with this and that and buying a tape to MP3 converter and taking it back and telling them where to... BUT, the first CD done is vintage Steely Dan... 80 GLORIOUS minutes Felonious my old friend! I shall be the envy of all at the next red light with my tunes on TEN.

Nevermind the Ion tape to PC converter or the other fancy $$$ive shit programs and crap hardware... a $20 cable and an old tape player with a headphone jack and Bob's yer auntie.

Now, which of the 3000+ albums shall I record next? I have from Altan to Zevon... from Alonzo to Zappa... Zappa???... GREAT GOOGLEY MOOGLEY! WHAT SHALL I DO???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 04:44 PM

I dare not ask what sort. Buck Rogers comes to mind...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 02:27 PM

Wahl, ta be more accurate, I got mah badge today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 02:26 PM

Oh, yeah. Mah badge done come today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 02:25 PM

That's...all right. I'll hitchhike (hey, not many words with a double H in 'em!). I'll probably be picked up by some sociopathetic homicidal maniac, forced to do unspeakably evil deeds and when my term in Congress is over I'll have to retire again on my ill-gotten gains. And it will be all your fault.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 11:47 AM

I'd love to deliver you, but I dunno what will be possible this year as I am driving in from Raleigh rather than MD.

Parcels accepted for delivery must be firmly wrapped in protective bubblewrap and placed in carton in good condition secured with 2" tape on all seams and clearly addressed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 10:16 AM

Actually, that was one of the worst and most inaccurate depictions of the LBH battle that I know of. Nearly as bad at that old Budweiser print.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 10:02 AM

Ay mon, you pick me up and deliver me to BWI, eh? Maybe please?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 09:20 AM

Dang, I coulda PREdicted that fer ya, Still!

Man, I wish Rapp hadn't of showed us that Custer clip. I got savage Sioux on the brain now, counting coup on my poor haid.

Hey Mom, wasn't it nice of Stilly to check in from Arizonia? Nice, nice. I like that.

I decided not to go straight off to the Bahamas after the Getaway on account it's not that great a boat. There are so many out there!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 02:38 AM

It's hot in Arizona this time of year. Did you know that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 12 - 01:31 AM

Tell old Obie he can wiggle his shins six ways from Sunday I ain't a-coming.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 12 - 09:47 PM

By the why, Obergeneralfeldmarschall Katrine von und zu Turm strongly suggests that you attend the change of command ceremony. It will be similar to this, but probably rowdier.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 12 - 08:59 PM

Danger?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 12 - 06:53 PM

It seems awfully quiet out there..._too_ quiet. They're up to something. You hear that? No drums. That can only mean one thing...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 12 - 12:39 PM

But the unseen hand of angels,
These death-shafts warned aside,
And the dove of Heavenly mercy
Ruled o'er the battle tide;
In the houses ceased the wailing,
And through the war-scarred marts,
The people strode with a step of hope,
To the music in their hearts.




Paul Hamilton Hayne
Bombardmernt of Vicksburg


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 12 - 10:59 AM

Sorry, Ober, can't make it. Another time maybe. You probably don't realize how far y'all are from civilization.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Obergeneralfeldmarschall Katrine von und zu
Date: 09 Aug 12 - 10:19 AM

Greetings! I am Obergeneralfeldmarschall Katrine von und zu Turm, commander of the Idaho Legion, and I invite all here to my installation ceremony. This will be Saturday, 11 August 2012, at the Legion Hovel in Pocatello, Idaho, 1700 hours. This will be followed by Retreat and a formal dinner. Here is a video of some guests arriving at the last Change of Command Ceremony, and here is a video of the formal dinner after.

RSVP.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 12 - 01:38 AM

I try to keep my travels quiet, not wanting to advertise my absence just on general principles. You know how the General is when news of our visits get around. It's all hell to pay, and me without a handbasket.

We're in Van Horn, TX tonight.


:-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 08:48 PM

I wasn't going to do anything about it, I was just checking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 06:58 PM

You're a tinhorned deaf-mute, amigo. I was iconifying the power of his music.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 05:54 PM

You bad-mouthin' my friend Bruce now? Huh? Are ya?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 05:35 PM

That's what he gets for listening to Bruce play "The Last Man Standing". The shriveled hands of the dying all point in his direction.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 11:05 AM

When I retired I brought my pot of rapscallions home with me. I also have a a rapscallion of...Bobert sent it to me! It's Bobert's fault!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 12 - 10:41 AM

You better not be thinkin' what I am thinkin' you're thinkin', ya rapscallion.


Definition: Rapscallion: Onions found only in the Library Director's office.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 11:04 PM

Tight and all-to-literate?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 10:30 PM

Stilly leaves us all behind
Leaving us a gap to mind'
Minding gaps is really silly
I'd prefer to be minding Stilly!

If you haven't read Cloud Atlas, do so at your first opportunity. ALso, in the too-literate-to-be-a-thriller, try The Bookman's Wake; tightly written, literate, fast-paced. It made me think of the Rapparree.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 10:10 PM

And I've stood on the bow of a small (<100 people) cruise ship as it picked its way down the Tombigbee River in early morning, the red sun of early morning just high enough to begin dissolving the haze, watching the gentle wake of the ship touch the logs ashore -- and watching the "logs" blink in response....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 08:13 PM

"And I love the sound they make, swishing along and swaying gently."

And the lurch and shudder when they hit piled up pack ice followed by the screach of ice along the hull such as a million fingernails on a blackboard amplified to ten.

It IS majestic to watch from the bridge as the ice is broken ahead in ever changing patterns of deep blue branches that separate glistening silver sheets under a full moon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 05:30 PM

Mind the gap....

Okay, gap. What do you want me to do? I mind real good. In fact I mind quite a bit. Why should I do what a gap tells me to do? Who or what is this gap anyway? I'll mind whatever I want to mind, not some gap, even if Stilly tells me to mind it. I'm a big boy now and I don't have to mind some stupid gap! So there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 05:06 PM

Why do the producers of the most lucid articles in our cultures, BOOKS, give the job of naming the discs to cretins who don't use the same format each time and who misspell the titles and authors? If I don't catch it now, the book won't play in order. i.e., The Martian Chronicals [sic] on six discs, misspelled on four of them.

I'll be out of town for a few days, so please keep MOM afloat if I don't manage to check in. I'll have the laptop and can check there, but no way I want to jam up my phone by accidentally loading the netire MOAB!

:) For those in the know, please mind the gap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 03:00 PM

I bad-mouthed them? You're the doter who called them kayaks, mein fine-feathered friend.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 01:39 PM

Too bad you bad-mouthed the Alaska State Ferry system, ain't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 01:23 PM

And I love the sound they make, swishing along and swaying gently.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 09:59 AM

Western Civ just wouldn't be the same without her ferries. Who'd do the interior design?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 09:46 AM

As much as I love them, I can't count the number of times I've been on ferries. You have to come from a place where they are a regular part of the state highway system to understand that sentiment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 09:34 AM

I was a passenger on several Alaska ferries (note correct spelling and word): MVs Columbia, Fairweather (a catamaran), and others. On one, from Homer to Kodiak, the vehicles were driven onto a lift, lowered (or raised, they could do both!), the lift rotated, and you drove off and parked where they told you. You had to BACK onto the lift to get off. SMALL ferry.

Homer, Alaska is as far West as you can drive in continental North America without getting wet (you could drive there from Key West). It's literally the End Of The Road. The last time I was there the End Of The Road was blocked by a Budweiser truck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 06:20 AM

"What were you doing on the icebreaker?"

I worked with ferries for seven years. Senior Civil Engineer for design, contract documents and project management of construction/maintenance/rehab of docks, harbour protection structures, buildings, passenger and commercial vehicle marshalling, lighting, field electrical distribution structures, pavements, water & sewer, sewage treatment, fuel tank farm containment structures, fuel pipelines, waste oil recovery, others... I jack off all trades.

MV Caribou and her sister ship were lovely punts. Bulbous bow ro-ro ferries that could break nasty ice and knock out 28+ knots in ca'm water. No good for fly fishing tho. GOTTA tell ya this one... dry dock in Halifax... MV Smallwood was on blocks... when we got to the bow and were looking up at this dwarfing monster, one of the lads quipped, "So this is the last thing a seal sees eh?"

I worked in Cape Tormentine, Borden, Yarmouth, Bar Harbor (note incorrect spelling), Digby, Saint John, North Sydney, Port-aux-Basques, Argentia, Lewisporte, and Goose Bay. Had fun.


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