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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 10 Oct 11 - 04:22 PM
Amos 10 Oct 11 - 03:10 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 11 - 02:50 PM
Amos 10 Oct 11 - 02:05 PM
Acme 10 Oct 11 - 01:52 PM
Amos 10 Oct 11 - 10:56 AM
Eiseley 10 Oct 11 - 10:44 AM
gnu 09 Oct 11 - 09:06 PM
Amos 09 Oct 11 - 08:33 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 11 - 03:51 PM
Amos 09 Oct 11 - 03:27 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 11 - 02:14 PM
Acme 09 Oct 11 - 12:03 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 09 Oct 11 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 08 Oct 11 - 06:25 PM
Amos 08 Oct 11 - 05:51 PM
gnu 08 Oct 11 - 05:46 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 08 Oct 11 - 05:36 PM
Acme 08 Oct 11 - 04:28 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 11 - 02:54 PM
Amos 08 Oct 11 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 11 - 01:53 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 11 - 01:51 PM
Amos 08 Oct 11 - 01:34 PM
Acme 08 Oct 11 - 11:38 AM
Rapparee 08 Oct 11 - 11:25 AM
Amos 07 Oct 11 - 09:49 PM
Rapparee 07 Oct 11 - 07:56 PM
gnu 07 Oct 11 - 05:43 PM
Acme 07 Oct 11 - 03:54 PM
Rapparee 07 Oct 11 - 03:17 PM
Amos 07 Oct 11 - 09:56 AM
Acme 07 Oct 11 - 09:44 AM
Rapparee 07 Oct 11 - 09:20 AM
Rapparee 06 Oct 11 - 07:07 PM
gnu 06 Oct 11 - 05:21 PM
Amos 06 Oct 11 - 04:55 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 06 Oct 11 - 03:51 PM
Amos 06 Oct 11 - 03:46 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 06 Oct 11 - 02:25 PM
gnu 06 Oct 11 - 02:14 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 11 - 01:57 PM
Amos 06 Oct 11 - 12:11 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 11 - 11:20 AM
Amos 06 Oct 11 - 11:15 AM
Rapparee 05 Oct 11 - 10:17 PM
Acme 05 Oct 11 - 07:40 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 11 - 07:36 PM
Little Hawk 05 Oct 11 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 11 - 04:03 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Oct 11 - 04:22 PM

"destructive ideas"... I would consider a kayak paddle a destructive idea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 11 - 03:10 PM

See, Rapp, there ya go again, suggesting the most destructive ideas! What is UP wif dat?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 11 - 02:50 PM

Squeeze the ends toward the middle. If you can't do it, put it lengthwise between two tankers or aircraft carriers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 11 - 02:05 PM

I like that idea, but the kayak is hardly the shape to pass for a pumpkin!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Oct 11 - 01:52 PM

Amos, if you painted your kayak orange, you could go be a ringer in this pumpkin regatta. And maybe Little Hawk, being from the general area, could grow his own.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 11 - 10:56 AM

Wow! Ten Ten 'Leben!!! How the time does fly. My new custom-made guitat will be shipped tomorrow. I yam thrilled, purely shivered with anticipating.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 10 Oct 11 - 10:44 AM

Happy Ten-Ten! Chocolate cake for breakfast, Mom.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Oct 11 - 09:06 PM

My old man unscrewed the ones I have. They are paper weights now. Even the springs are gone. It all had to do with a fishing incident in Ontario many years ago. When you can see bottom and there are no fish "intact" floating downstream, you have... I believe the technical terminology is... fucked up big time.

Hey Rap... that minds me a one time that Dad was up ta camp fer two weeks in Ontario on a deer hunt in the early 60s. Last day was always a big party. They would take all the booze bottles and have a "shootout". Now, my old man was a "Golden Bullet" marksman every year he was in The Forces. He taught small arms and other shit. I have seen him take the top off a coke bottle at 60 paces with a bull barrel 22 Cooey matter of factly. He was deadly accuarte.

On this trip, he waited until everyone else had their go and then he had a go much to the surprise of all present... 38mm Parachuten... two extended clips. Game wardens arrived about a half hour later and Dad sent them up the road to the next camp.

Livened things up a bit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Oct 11 - 08:33 PM

See, they never put that in movies, and I was absent from Basic that day. But I had an excuse from my mother.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 11 - 03:51 PM

No, you can unscrew the firing mechanism. I suggest that you do so very carefully.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Oct 11 - 03:27 PM

There's only one way I know of to unload a hand grenade. Pull the pin with your teeth and throw it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 11 - 02:14 PM

I cannot be blamed if someone as simple as Shame McBride cannot read and understand simple English.

No, there are no loaded or pointy weapons here. Just these simple hand grenades.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Oct 11 - 12:03 PM

Are there any sharp objects or loaded weapons in the room? Are these two going to kill each other this time?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 09 Oct 11 - 10:46 AM

WHAT???? What the flip do you mean? You can't flippin' take back tha t ap9logy! You apolgogized and that is alls there flippin' is TO it!

Now apolgozie again!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 06:25 PM

Ask I said, I would like to apologize to Shame.

But I won't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 05:51 PM

Ah, that cool Northern perspicacity, priceless when needed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 05:46 PM

When do the drugs from the op wear off?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 05:36 PM

I was majerly flippin' suprised to hear that Rapparree has made a compleat apologie to me for all the bad things he has said in the passed aginst me and the McBride fambly!

I did not expecked that to happen, eh?

But it has.

Well, I hadda wait a long time for the fliphea...I mean for this nice guy to fineally wisen up and give respect where it is deu. Alls I can say is...better flippin' LATE than NEVER! This means that we can probally get along okay in the fuchere and I can, like, maybe take his daughter out parkin' on Seldom Seen Road if she ever comes up here to the land of Maple Seerup and Molsons.

Decent! I am finally getting the respect and comsiderashion I deserve.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 04:28 PM

I have okra and eggplant and herbs and peppers are volunteering to be eaten.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 02:54 PM

If the person has been properly cooked, perhaps.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 02:28 PM

Oh. So if someone comes up to you and says "Eat me, motherfucker", you revel in the opportunity to do so?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 01:53 PM

which I do eat have to have fallen from a tree or otherwise volunteered to become food.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 01:51 PM

Amos, I have eschewed violence in all of its forms, nor am I polluting the Temple which is my body with anything other than pure water and foods grown without harming anyone or anything else. Indeed, those foods


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 01:34 PM

This new wave of self-effacing humility and genteel politesse on the part of our gun-toting Bookmeister is a bit unsettling. Is there not a punch line in there somewhere? :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 11:38 AM

. . . waiting for the other shoe to drop . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 11:25 AM

I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to Shame McBride for all of the nasty things I've called him. I would like to say that he is a good man and a good Canadian, one whom all of the men admire and for whom the women pine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 09:49 PM

I will be glad to endorse your policy of not bragging about yourself. Let me know when it goes into effect.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 07:56 PM

I'm a humble person. I like people to discover my brilliance, my radiance, my good looks, and my goodness all by themselves. If I were to go around boasting about it I would be too proud to be humble and I'm very proud of my humility.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 05:43 PM

Inchworm? Are you sayin yer a big dick?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 03:54 PM

Does your HR department have a wet bar that they roll out at 4:45pm, to give you a really good start on a) the weekend or b) rush hour traffic?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 03:17 PM

From "The Sudbury Star", Friday, March 13, [year missing]:

To Miss Leona McBride, a son, Shame. Weight at birth: 4 kg., weight one hour afterbirth: 2 kg. Doctor's comment: Never before have I seen such an excellent example of tinea cruris as this baby. And never before has so small an infant presented the hospital with 2 kg. of fecal matter in such a short time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 09:56 AM

IN the small circle of hell where I earn my daily bread, Fridays are very special. THe HR department rolls in boxes of doughnuts, oranges, bagels, and other snacky delights and everyone descends on the lunchroom to celebrate another productive week. Also, Friday signifies the approach of two days of not having to go to work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 09:44 AM

I have nothing to contribute this morning except to observe "TGIF!" And then some.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 09:20 AM

Mornin', Mom. I spent another night on dope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 07:07 PM

Shame, my knee was operated upon. The damage was cause by what you think, but I have to use my toes due to my endowment. Of course, you wouldn't know anything about things like that, would you, "Inchworm"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 05:21 PM

I didn't mess around today. I bought a new photocell and a new bulb for the security light on the garage. Last Oct 20 I went to Princess Auto four times to get things sorted. Up and down the ladder with my arthritic knees a dozen times at least. Today, ladder up, ladder down. If it doesn't work well tonight I'll cut the power and return them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 04:55 PM

Well, you want an honest answer?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 03:51 PM

??...the Flip---! You think I am stoopid or somethin'?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 03:46 PM

That's why the Gnu is asking, silly!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 02:25 PM

Flipheads like him don't HAVE nothin' that youse could call "normal" sexaul activity!

And it don't take a lotta branes to guest why he had a problem with his elbow, eh? Ha! Ha! Ha!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 02:14 PM

So Rap... how long before you can resume regular sexual activity?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 01:57 PM

They like banjo players up there. Gives 'em someone to pity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 12:11 PM

Grab your broom, grab your shovel
Ready up your soul for trouble
Follow me, now on the double
We're gonna clean that Legion Hovel!!

(Banjo solo here)...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 11:20 AM

The night was full of blood and pain, arteries squirting and teeth on the floor from a fall.

Not at my house, but another mundane night up at the Legion Hovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 11:15 AM

I know a guy who was a patient of his, but Doc Lightspeed operated on the wrong testicle.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 10:17 PM

My surgeon called "Doc Lightspeed" by his colleagues. Sometimes he operates before the patient is even born.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 07:40 PM

That was quick! I only learned of the surgery 3 minutes ago as I was reading the thread, then 1 minute ago I learned you were out again!

Astonishing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 07:36 PM

I'm sleeping a lot. Does that count?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 06:12 PM

Are you seeing any visions? Walls melting? Pink elephants?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 04:03 PM

I'm back from the surgery. I'm not dead. So ha-ha. More when I'm not drugged.


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