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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 11 Oct 10 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 10 - 10:37 AM
Little Hawk 11 Oct 10 - 10:14 AM
Amos 11 Oct 10 - 09:25 AM
Eiseley 11 Oct 10 - 12:03 AM
Rapparee 10 Oct 10 - 11:27 PM
Amos 10 Oct 10 - 07:29 PM
Amos 10 Oct 10 - 07:08 PM
Acme 10 Oct 10 - 06:03 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 10 - 05:59 PM
Eiseley 10 Oct 10 - 05:04 PM
Little Hawk 10 Oct 10 - 04:34 PM
Acme 10 Oct 10 - 04:20 PM
Amos 10 Oct 10 - 02:26 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 10 - 12:13 PM
Amos 10 Oct 10 - 11:29 AM
gnu 10 Oct 10 - 11:17 AM
Acme 10 Oct 10 - 11:03 AM
Little Hawk 10 Oct 10 - 10:40 AM
Little Hawk 10 Oct 10 - 10:27 AM
Amos 09 Oct 10 - 09:58 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 10 - 09:30 PM
gnu 09 Oct 10 - 07:02 PM
Acme 09 Oct 10 - 06:47 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 10 - 05:55 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 10 - 11:25 AM
Amos 09 Oct 10 - 11:21 AM
Amos 08 Oct 10 - 10:55 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 10 - 10:55 PM
Eiseley 08 Oct 10 - 08:17 PM
Eiseley 08 Oct 10 - 08:15 PM
Little Hawk 08 Oct 10 - 04:36 PM
Amos 08 Oct 10 - 03:11 PM
Little Hawk 08 Oct 10 - 02:48 PM
Amos 08 Oct 10 - 02:28 PM
Amos 08 Oct 10 - 02:17 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 10 - 01:58 PM
Amos 08 Oct 10 - 01:55 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 10 - 01:48 PM
Amos 08 Oct 10 - 01:38 PM
Little Hawk 08 Oct 10 - 11:43 AM
Rapparee 08 Oct 10 - 10:35 AM
Amos 08 Oct 10 - 10:16 AM
Little Hawk 08 Oct 10 - 10:15 AM
Acme 07 Oct 10 - 11:56 PM
Rapparee 07 Oct 10 - 05:36 PM
Acme 07 Oct 10 - 04:19 PM
MMario 07 Oct 10 - 03:01 PM
Rapparee 07 Oct 10 - 02:58 PM
Amos 07 Oct 10 - 02:46 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 10 - 10:50 AM

Hmmmph. I was just prepared to unleash another indignant volley, too.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 10 - 10:37 AM

Well, at least you learned it and greatly improved your life expectancy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Oct 10 - 10:14 AM

Hmm. Rapaire appears to have touched a nerve. How delighted he must be! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 10 - 09:25 AM

You tin-eared contrarian solipsist!! I didn't say I had just NOW learned it!! I was merely reciting an example!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 11 Oct 10 - 12:03 AM

Yay! I'll get to see those runners in January when I come to visit. Why don't you come too, Stilly? San Diego in January will be so nice.

And a visit with Amos will be even nicer!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 11:27 PM

Dadgum, Amos. After all this time you finally learnt sumpun lotsa married men learnt after only a coupla years.

I'll be jiggered.

Will wonders never cease!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 07:29 PM

Thirty years of married life have taught me the virtues of the bitten tongue, a lesson I am sometimes grateful for.

Today, for example, we had to shop for inexpensive runners to replace the kitchen throws because the old ones were sort of muddy in hue and the wrong shades for the new counters which are sort of dark gray.

So BBW and I go trawling around Home Depot and she zeroes in a matching pair with dark borders and bright colored centers in a set of squares. I am dubious--I think they are too dark-toned and will pull down the tone of the room. But I demur only once and keep my mouth shut thereafter. When we get them home and she rolls them out, she sighs "Oh--they ARE dark, aren't they??". Tar baby say nuffin'. Again, I bite my tongue and don't say "Well, you shoulda lissened to me...".

But we decide to open them up and lay them in place since we have them, and she vows she will take them straight back if they are bad.

Well, something happens when they get into position, and their assertive bright centers suddenly harmonize with the counters and they create a bright center in an otherwise quiet room, color-wise, and brighten the place up quite nicely.

All I said to her was, "I'm glad I kept my mouth shut!".   Twice. And offered thanks for a well-bit tongue.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 07:08 PM

"I love the wooshing sound they make as they fly past..."



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 06:03 PM

I find deadlines helpful. Writing under pressure is an art, and when I worked a couple of years at a newspaper I really got the hang of it. But it isn't for everyone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 05:59 PM

Sure, but if you let it wait under the very last moments you won't be tempted to toss more stuff in than is necessary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 05:04 PM

It's not actually due until Tuesday, but . . .


You're right about the better quality of writing if it isn't left until the very last minute. It might dwindle down to the word   stuff.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 04:34 PM

Well, there are a few such women around, but their numbers are fortunately very small.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 04:20 PM

Fortunately, there aren't women's auxiliaries of the same groups. No women would let themselves be eligible for membership.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 02:26 PM

Sounds like we may have to mobilize the California Decrepit Volunteers to come out there and help them re-organize themselves. Just a fraternal favor, as the numbers of True Brothers decline around the world.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 12:13 PM

Wetting myself, screaming, and throwing tantrums around? What's new about that?

As for obtaining stress, I just go down to the Legion Hovel and hope that the bugs drowned in beer aren't a a biohazard and that the Legionnaires won't suddenly decide to gallop off in all directions at once. They last did that a couple months back, got as much as twenty miles away, and are still drifting back. Some of them are MUCH the worse for the wear and most are wearing the some variation on the fashionably-orange jumpsuit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 11:29 AM

Quite....breaking windows and refusing to go to school...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 11:17 AM

I still do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 11:03 AM

We seem to be getting close to 38K.

MOM doesn't like it when you start talking about cheating. If you're not careful, she'll start telling the group about what you guys used to do when you were little kids. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 10:40 AM

Now, if you like stress, Rapaire, here are some neat ways of getting it...

1. Always do everything at the last possible moment. Procrastinate and delay the inevitable by any means possible!

2. Don't pay your bills on time. Better yet, don't pay them at all!

3. Tell lots of lies to people, and try to remember them all clearly so you can invent hundreds of new lies to cover them.

4. Cheat on your wife, your partner, your employer, etc....they'll never find out. ;-)

5. Always speed when driving, use a fuzzbuster, and watch constantly for the cops so you'll see them before they see you.

6. NEVER let another car pass you on the highway! It would be an affront to your manhood.

7. Answer any slight with extreme hostility. Be prepared to use physical violence if people don't agree that you are in the right about something.

8. Be late for ALL your appointments. They'll realize how special you are when you finally arrive.

9. Laugh in the face of danger. Swat teams are not nearly as tough as they make themselves out to be.

;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 10:27 AM

Indeed. I eventually learned to do that same thing, and BOY, did it ever do away with a lot of stress! Resulted in far better writing too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 09:58 PM

WOrked for me. Great minds think alike...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 09:30 PM

It's people like you who wrecked the Grade Point Average of the rest of us. More, doing things that way doesn't prepare you for the stresses of Real Life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 07:02 PM

I used to set my deadlines several days early and pass in my papers several days early. Great stress reliver.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 06:47 PM

When papers are due, grad students get just a little crazy. Best to give them lots of space and few interruptions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 05:55 PM

Eiseley's gone. She was right here, talking about some paper she has due, and she vanished. I think it all finally got to her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 11:25 AM

The oldest is named Orrin Porter....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 11:21 AM

Those bad boys, Frank and Jesse James, mayhap?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 10:55 PM

LOL!! I can't brlirvr yhat they have a bathroom joke I didn't already know!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 10:55 PM

Their names are Frank and Jesse. Guess who they're named after?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 08:17 PM

They're ten and twelve. I'll be you could have guessed that, though.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 08:15 PM

The boys' favorite knock-knock joke of the day:

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Gope.

Gope who?

I don't have to right now.

They were going to ask Rapaire but got shy at the last minute.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 04:36 PM

Oh...well, that's okay then. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 03:11 PM

No, just a Freudian throwback.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 02:48 PM

Jesus Murphy, that guy IS funny...but I think he's got himself stuck into a sort of a narrow songwriting rut. Kind of like a Phil Ochs for our divided political times.

Amos, are you implying that Shane is a would-be motherflipper????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 02:28 PM

Do you know how hard it is to be a Liberal?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 02:17 PM

...which was probably his covert intention all along...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 01:58 PM

It was, but his mother objected to it being returned to the factory.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 01:55 PM

Oh!! I thought, being a recall, it would have been issued by the original Manufacturer...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 01:48 PM

Well, apparently it was a joint effort of the three bodies named. I understand that he will be treated humanely and kept in an artificial satellite until it is dropped into the Sun. There is some objection to this, however, as it would "pollute the sunlight".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 01:38 PM

Can we get in touch with the executive branch that issued the recall? Just to express thanks and all...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 11:43 AM

"the world's first human recall"

Ah-Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 10:35 AM

Why in the world would Shame want to touch any part of himself with anything? I just checked and Health Canada, the CDC, and WHO have not only urgent warnings out about him ("Shoot On Sight: World Epidemiological Reservoir, Class V"), but he is also the subject of the world's first human recall ("Dangerous to life...totally defective").

Yes, Amos, I can do that. That's because I got to the gym and work out AND because I am so very, very intelligent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 10:16 AM

That's nothin'....Rapaire can touch his tongue with his forehead!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 10:15 AM

This just in! Shane can touch his eyebrows with his tongue!!!!!!

It's not what you think, though. You see...he just has a very low forehead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 11:56 PM

MOM had some harlequin books around the house. Last time I saw them she had a stack of six or seven stacked under the corner of a dresser, supporting it because the leg broke off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 05:36 PM

Like the Industrial Workers of the World, the Idaho Legion has its own songbook. Unlike the IWW, the cover of whose songbook is red, the cover of the Legion's songbook is rather motley since no one could make a decision about the color. Red was too wobbly, yellow would cause questions of ownership ("Is that yer un er did ya empty yer bladder on mine?"), blue would be too depressing, green too ecological, white too blah, black too dark, and camouflage would be easily lost.

It is therefore called "The Harlequin Songbook Of the Idaho Legion" or, more commonly, "The Legion's Whorey Kin". It cannot be found in bookstores or even on-line. It contains such gems of song as "Three Bastard English Kings Came Down From Winnipeg" and "Roll Your Bell Bottom Over Him". It is acknowledged that transcription of the original songs may not have been completely accurate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 04:19 PM

You'd have to pay him to do that. You could steal the tune anywhere, but who'd pony up for the lyrics?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 03:01 PM

I love the histtorical stories of the Legion...wonder if Jed Marum would write some songs about them......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 02:58 PM

Not I, good sir, but I do think that you might have been suffering from a touch of mal de mer by the hue of your eyes and general condition. I have been led to understand that someone said, "He puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else" and you muttered, "So THAT'S the trick!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 02:46 PM

COme to think of, it you were beginning to develop a certain Chartreuse Overt tinge toward the end of the Getaway....



A


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Mudcat time: 19 October 5:02 AM EDT

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