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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Janie 09 Aug 10 - 11:38 PM
Janie 09 Aug 10 - 11:23 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 09 Aug 10 - 11:11 PM
Eiseley 09 Aug 10 - 11:11 PM
Janie 09 Aug 10 - 10:55 PM
Janie 09 Aug 10 - 10:54 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 10 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 10 - 10:20 PM
Donuel 09 Aug 10 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 10 - 07:31 PM
gnu 09 Aug 10 - 07:26 PM
Eiseley 09 Aug 10 - 07:26 PM
Amos 09 Aug 10 - 06:51 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 10 - 06:02 PM
Amos 09 Aug 10 - 02:52 PM
Rapparee 09 Aug 10 - 02:04 PM
Amos 09 Aug 10 - 12:08 PM
MMario 09 Aug 10 - 11:13 AM
Amos 09 Aug 10 - 11:04 AM
Rapparee 09 Aug 10 - 11:03 AM
Rapparee 09 Aug 10 - 10:59 AM
Amos 09 Aug 10 - 10:40 AM
Eiseley 09 Aug 10 - 08:32 AM
Eiseley 09 Aug 10 - 01:10 AM
Acme 09 Aug 10 - 12:20 AM
Janie 08 Aug 10 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 08 Aug 10 - 10:39 PM
Janie 08 Aug 10 - 10:28 PM
Amos 08 Aug 10 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 08 Aug 10 - 08:56 PM
gnu 08 Aug 10 - 02:41 PM
Amos 08 Aug 10 - 02:20 PM
Little Hawk 08 Aug 10 - 02:05 PM
Rapparee 08 Aug 10 - 01:58 PM
gnu 08 Aug 10 - 01:50 PM
Rapparee 08 Aug 10 - 01:46 PM
Little Hawk 08 Aug 10 - 01:39 PM
Amos 08 Aug 10 - 01:36 PM
Acme 08 Aug 10 - 01:23 PM
Amos 08 Aug 10 - 01:18 PM
Amos 08 Aug 10 - 05:39 AM
Rapparee 08 Aug 10 - 12:26 AM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 10 - 11:45 PM
Amos 07 Aug 10 - 11:27 PM
Rapparee 07 Aug 10 - 10:11 PM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 10 - 08:36 PM
Amos 07 Aug 10 - 06:35 PM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 10 - 06:13 PM
Amos 07 Aug 10 - 04:15 PM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 10 - 04:07 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 11:38 PM

Leastways, that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 11:23 PM

Well sure, Shane. It's just that when I was young and good lookin', I always had to buy the cigs and the toilet paper, and some of the beer, but the weed just always seemed to be there.


Well, Eiseley, my only excuse is that I am older and (perhaps) wiser now, and my list has undergone significant revision over the past 35 or 40 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 11:11 PM

Hey! Two outta three ain't bad, Janie!

Fer me it's beer, cigarettes, and weed, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 11:11 PM

I didn't see those three in the recent numbered list of essential tools.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 10:55 PM

Of course, in my younger years I considered the essentials to be beer, cigarettes and toilet paper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 10:54 PM

Yes, Rap, but do you have the bare essentials to repair or jerry-rig just about anything essential?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 10:28 PM

Let me put it this way.

Yes, I have guns, swords, and knives. I also have a three-inch-thick binder labeled "Cracking". That binder contains various password-cracking programs (brute force and otherwise), network analysis programs, and some other dark-gray to black stuff I won't mention. The stuff will work on Windows, Unix, Linux, and MacOS machines. I used it when I was a system administrator (which was from 1991 up until this past March) and kept it up to date...I will continue to do so because you never can tell.

Possession of these programs is not a crime; using them, well...could be, could be. It depends.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 10:20 PM

I dunno, Donuel, but I know an awful lot of nerds and an awful lot of them own and shoot firearms of various sorts. Also, you screw with a nerd and s/he screws with your credit rating, corporate computers, stock -- remember what nerds know: today all "money" is simply electrons moving around inside a computer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 09:31 PM

With all due respect as always Rapaire, blow it out your intellectual ass.
Respectfully, Don.

Hey diga hear NPR and Rachel Maddow recently do stories regarding the plight of librarians and small local libraries. The decline is shocking and insidious.
As the USA enters its new phase of becoming a third world nation I suppose we will all begin to see the cuts in spending to help the rich afford to live here. Cuts as in turning out street lights, turning paved roads into gravel, suspending bus service, firing police and firemen. Hundreds of counties in the US have already done the aformentioned cuts.

Our local library was our last line of defense against over zealous HLS agents who demanded records of all the reading habits of the patrons. The grey haired lady said NO! She meant no! After quite a dust up the agents were ordered to back off. That only meant that all the data was retrieved by the NSA but that is beside the point.

Touch one hair on the grey haired lady's head and we will go to war against the wealthy powers that be who are respondsible for closing our libraries, schools, social services and contracts, all to allow the wealthy to get everything they think they deserve.

What could nerds do to wage a war against the bankers that did this to us?

besides writing a strongly worded letter...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 07:31 PM

Yes, Rowena WAS a nurse to the Good Knight, Ivanhoe. In fact, I don't see why Ivanhoe (or Willy, as his friends called him) married that dumb blond Rebecca instead of Rowena, who was a chick with smarts to spare.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 07:26 PM

Yeah. It's muggy August here and the wee flies get in through the window screens. They are almost as gnatting as your oneupmanship.

Step it up a notch lads... ennui is ensuing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 07:26 PM

Good Knight Nurse!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 06:51 PM

Honor is, as honor does, good fellow; so get thee to a nunnery and leave off trafficking with songstuff of which thou wottest but little.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 06:02 PM

Sir, are you once again impugning my honor? ANY woman of ANY age would be as safe with me as she would be cradled in her mother's arms. My middle name isn't Parsifal without good reason, you know! I am the one who is sans peur et sans reproche! I protect and respect the old, the weak, the defenseless (unless they are in a country that spells funny, in which case I protect the defenceless).

I am the embodiment of a Good Knight, and could well say, with Wilfred of Ivanhoe, "I am a good knight and noble, come hither to sustain with lance and sword the just and lawful quarrel of this damsel, Rebecca, daughter of Isaac of York; to uphold the doom pronounced against her to be false and truthless, and to defy Sir Brian de Bois-Guilbert, as a traitor, murderer, and liar; as I will prove in this field with my body against his, by the aid of God, of our Lady, and of Monseigneur St. George, the good knight."

I trust my honor (or, in Those Other Countries, my honour) has been made clear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 02:52 PM

I have a keener and more discriminating eye than thou, is why.   I can spot the difference bvetween Kipling and camp-meeting from two hundred yards away. The scansion, the emphasies, the rhyme schemes, the cultural resonances are all entirely different. I am surprised at your tin ear (or eyes, as the case may be). PErhaps you are like the Tin Woodman in need of help from a Great Wizard to replace them with the human sort. On the other hand, offering to escort under-age farm girls into the great forests is probably also a risk...sigh...so many hard choices!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 02:04 PM

CHORUS:

Gimme that Old-Time religion
Gimme that Old-Time religion
Gimme that Old-Time religion
It's good enough for me.


Gee, Amos. I'm surprised you didn't include the chorus.

I am not fond of all poetry, but there's something in Kipling that appeals to me. I guess he's just about my level.
                                  - Mark Twain, a Biography


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 12:08 PM

I do not look for holy saints to guide me on my way,
Or male and female devilkins to lead my feet astray.
If these are added, I rejoice---if not, I shall not mind,
So long as I have leave and choice to meet my fellow-kind.
For as we come and as we go (and deadly-soon go we!)
The people, Lord, Thy people, are good enough for me!

Thus I will honour pious men whose virtue shines so bright
(Though none are more amazed than I when I by chance do right),
And I will pity foolish men for woe their sins have bred
(Though ninety-nine per cent. of mine I brought on my own head).
And, Amorite or Eremite, or General Averagee,
The people, Lord, Thy people, are good enough for me!

And when they bore me overmuch, I will not shake mine ears,
Recalling many thousand such whom I have bored to tears.
And when they labour to impress, I will not doubt nor scoff;
Since I myself have done no less and---sometimes pulled it off.
Yea, as we are and we are not, and we pretend to be,
The people, Lord, Thy people, are good enough for me!

And when they work me random wrong, as oftentimes hath been,
I will not cherish hate too long (my hands are none too clean).
And when they do me random good I will not feign surprise.
No more than those whom I have cheered with wayside charities.
But, as we give and as we take---whate'er our takings be---
The people, Lord, Thy people, are good enough for me!

But when I meet with frantic folk who sinfully declare
There is no pardon for their sin, the same I will not spare
Till I have proved that Heaven and Hell which in our hearts we have
Show nothing irredeemable on either side of the grave.
For as we live and as we die---if utter Death there be---
The people, Lord, Thy people, are good enough for me!

Deliver me from every pride---the Middle, High, and Low---
That bars me from a brother's side, whatever pride he show.
And purge me from all heresies of thought and speech and pen
That bid me judge him otherwise than I am judged. Amen!
That I may sing of Crowd or King or road-borne company,
That I may labour in my day, vocation and degree,
To prove the same in deed and name, and hold unshakenly
(Where'er I go, whate'er I know, whoe'er my neighbor be)
This single faith in Life and Death and to Eternity:
``The people, Lord, Thy people, are good enough for me!''


Rudyard Kipling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 11:13 AM

23)Two teaspoons and a bent fork.

Rap 0 I thaought you were famous for restraints, not restraint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 11:04 AM

17. A plowshare
18. 1000 feet of 3/4" polypropelene rope
19. Six dual-pully blocks.
20. Twenty-eight wheels.
21. A bicycle pump.
22. Eleven cases of plastic pellets suitable for molding.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 11:03 AM

And again, Mom, I shall exercise the restraint for which I am famous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 10:59 AM

A city on a hill, Amos. A better life. A new beginning.

13. A case of C-4.
14. A Pulaski.
15. A hammer.
16. A sickle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 10:40 AM

and 12. Dogeared copy of Roget's/


Wait, what are we building?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 08:32 AM

Oh, and
11. Mackintosh squares


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 01:10 AM

10. Baling wire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 12:20 AM

7. WD 40
8. Hardware cloth
9. Chlorine bleach


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 11:02 PM

5. Roll of at least 3mil plastic
6. bit of sheet metal


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 10:39 PM

Do you know that if you microwave raw in-the-shell eggs they'll explode and make quite a mess?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 10:28 PM

1. Duct Tape
2. Tie-wire
3. Bic lighter
4. Swiss Army Knife


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 10:21 PM

See, Stilly, that's what I mean about the eggs....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 08:56 PM

Oh how could Mother sink so low
When she has weathered every blow?
Tho' freds might come and freds might go
Mom had sunk so very low!
Down near the bottom she did go
Down amidst the piles of snow
Down where the drunks and Shame do go
So very, very, very low.

But then I came and rescued her!
Saved her from the slime and burr!
Put her on the swing with far
Enough iced tea and a candy bar
Back where she belongs is her,
Because one of her kids cared for her.

       --Aimee M. Simple, "Simple Delights for Simple Folks"
          (San Diego: Ano Press, 1849)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 02:41 PM

LH... great stuff! Thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 02:20 PM

I like that idea but I don't take newspapers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 02:05 PM

Use the Bean painting technique


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 01:58 PM

Your buddy found your front window on the road the day you moved into your last house? And you saved it all this time! How thrifty!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 01:50 PM

Amos... I painted the place before I moved in 9 years ago... everything white semi-gloss kid's room paint. I have a pic on the living room wall facing the front window (my buddy found it on the road the day I moved into my last house) and a small pic of a ruffed grouse above the fireplace. Every five years, I "bee-mop" the works.

The white paint and lack of pics and such on the walls makes every room look bigger and brighter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 01:46 PM

...the new pain will make it all look young again.

Will giving your house a pain pill help? I have some 500 mg hydrocodone I could send, if it's bad enough. But you might try acetaminophen or ibuprofen first. Or are you saying that new pain makes houses look young? I had shoulder surgery a year ago but I don't look any younger for it; of course, I'm not a house. Whenever I've painted them my houses have never seemed in pain, although I did get some stiff muscles and backaches myself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 01:39 PM

That sounds a lot like Shane's approach to bathing. And job-hunting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 01:36 PM

I have spent two days taking down every painting, etching, screen, bulletin board, map, photograph and gew-gaw that hung on our walls, in preparation for painters. The garage is transformed into a swollen intestine full of odd boxes and wrapped frames. Soon we will have to disconnect all the computers and such and move things away from the walls. What a dispossession of spaces! But it will be worth it because the new pain will make it all look young again.

I never go in for facelifts personally, but I don't mind giving the house one every twenty years or so.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 01:23 PM

It must not be very hot where the rest of you are. You have way too much energy for this time of year. Follow MOM's example and get yourselves each a cold glass of lemonade and go lounge on the porch swing in the shade. Just don't let the dog up on the swing with you or it'll make you sweat too much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 01:18 PM

Oh what a source of ire and woe
When Mom's allowed to drift so low!
How callous are the indifferent souls
Who watch her fall into that hole!
The loud, the arrogant, the unwise
Deny the scales upon their eyes
And turn their faces, cold, away
So that they will not have to say,
I\'I watched tumble, saw her fall
And did not act, ignored her call,
And posted not! Oh, woe and fie,
SUch apathy I now decry!
And now dishonor I declaim
Upon those cold, or dead, or lame
Who will not raise her honored name
But let he drift to silent shame.

Doxy Proofwrinkle
First Voyeur
American Legion of Psychics and Seers
from The Twenty-third Annual Report, ALPS Publications
Okeefenokee, FL, 1911


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 05:39 AM

Oh, and you forgot t make us deluded, also...I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Aug 10 - 12:26 AM

Amos, I will continue to permit you to bask in the reflections of the reflections of my glory. Anything more and you would wither like a styrofoam cup in the flame of a welding torch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 11:45 PM

There's a lot to be said for insufferable narcissism, Amos. It has feuled many a great career...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 11:27 PM

Well, that one hell of a failed experiment, I'd say.

You forgot to make us all insufferable narcissists.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 10:11 PM

I passed whatever faults I may have had on to all of you when I created you so that you would appreciate my perfection more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 08:36 PM

Most decent and kindly of you, my good sir.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 06:35 PM

Aw, I understand. Actually, installing your faults in others is very therapeutic, and it does no harm to them. It just makes them observable, a good thing.

Also I hope I was not one of the forces that undermined your pleasure in the forum, to which you are generally a highly valued contributor, as I think you know. Why, Guest from Sanity is absolutely in love with your depth and wit and your dry, aloof analytical turn of phrase.

Of course, here in Mom's house, it is understood that ll bets are off, but I thought I would try and make your re-entry into Mudcat society a bit less painful.....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 06:13 PM

Well, it's a kind of bizarre ass-backward humour I like to engage in, Amos...particularly in your case. I enjoy accusing you of various flaws and weaknesses that are not yours at all, but in fact are mine. It appeals to my sense of the ridiculous to do that. ;-)

Hence, I will upbraid you for your laziness, your lack of discipline, and your sleeping in in the morning as if it was your problem and not mine. The sheer, blatant hypocrisy of me bugging you over such matters is what strikes me as funny. It's like Shane accusing you of drunkeness and lack of hygeine!

But, really...I haven't been up to much of anything for the last while. Seriously. I just decided not to post on Mudcat for awhile, that's all. I hit a stretch where I simply didn't want to. I wasn't enjoying it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 04:15 PM

Well, there, there, buddy. No-one can go up against the bragadoccio of Bookman. Although his sea-miles were probably passenger-mode. But that's not important.

You shouldn't go casting aspersions about discipline, you see?

The truth is you are every bit as big a man as Rapaire or me or anyone else, and you know that.

But what have you been doing?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 04:07 PM

Holy shit. This is like drowning in testosterone. I feel soooo terribly inadequate!


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