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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,William Shatner 29 Sep 09 - 09:44 PM
Amos 29 Sep 09 - 08:38 PM
Ed T 29 Sep 09 - 07:49 PM
Amos 29 Sep 09 - 07:10 PM
Ed T 29 Sep 09 - 06:17 PM
Amos 29 Sep 09 - 05:57 PM
Acme 29 Sep 09 - 04:13 PM
Amos 29 Sep 09 - 04:05 PM
MMario 29 Sep 09 - 04:01 PM
Ed T 29 Sep 09 - 03:53 PM
Amos 29 Sep 09 - 03:12 PM
Amos 29 Sep 09 - 11:06 AM
Amos 29 Sep 09 - 01:11 AM
Ed T 28 Sep 09 - 11:51 PM
Amos 28 Sep 09 - 10:56 PM
Little Hawk 28 Sep 09 - 10:17 PM
Janie 28 Sep 09 - 10:14 PM
Ed T 28 Sep 09 - 08:33 PM
Ed T 28 Sep 09 - 08:18 PM
Amos 28 Sep 09 - 08:15 PM
Ed T 28 Sep 09 - 08:14 PM
Ed T 28 Sep 09 - 08:12 PM
Amos 28 Sep 09 - 04:37 PM
Amos 28 Sep 09 - 02:10 PM
MMario 28 Sep 09 - 01:59 PM
Acme 28 Sep 09 - 12:58 PM
Amos 28 Sep 09 - 12:42 PM
Acme 28 Sep 09 - 11:53 AM
Amos 28 Sep 09 - 11:44 AM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 09 - 11:08 PM
Amos 27 Sep 09 - 10:57 PM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 09 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 09 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 09 - 07:02 PM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 09 - 07:01 PM
Amos 27 Sep 09 - 06:43 PM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 09 - 04:13 PM
Amos 27 Sep 09 - 02:43 PM
Amos 27 Sep 09 - 12:12 PM
Acme 27 Sep 09 - 11:58 AM
Janie 26 Sep 09 - 11:30 PM
Acme 26 Sep 09 - 11:23 PM
Ed T 26 Sep 09 - 07:35 PM
Acme 26 Sep 09 - 04:37 PM
Amos 26 Sep 09 - 03:38 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 09 - 03:37 PM
gnu 26 Sep 09 - 03:35 PM
Amos 26 Sep 09 - 03:19 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 09 - 02:45 PM
Amos 26 Sep 09 - 01:12 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 09:44 PM

The reason I seldom come here is obvious. I'm a very busy man. I have things to do, people to see, I have important work on my hands. I have a family. I have priorities. I have a LIFE. Can you guess how low on my list of priorities it is to visit this discussion site...let alone this particular thread? Hmmm? Can you?

Only someone who had practically no life at all would spend much time here, seems to me. It's easy to determine who that would be. Just scan the list of posts here and count who has posted the most often in, say, the last 60 days. Do up totals on each poster, and you will see immediately who among you is virtually devoid of what could be termed "a life"....in normal terms, I mean.

Not that I'm implying that such people's lives have no validity or value. Hardly!

One doesn't bother to imply something when it's become as blatantly obvious as the rainbow-striped ass on a mandrill. One just comes right out and says it! ;-)

Read my book "Get A Life!" and see if you can pick up a few useful pointers which will help you escape from THE Great Unreality you have fallen into if you are one of those unfortunates who typically posts more than twice a day on this forum.

- William Shatner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 08:38 PM

Ed:

You may learn far more than you ever wanted to about Little Hawk by reading the MOAB from the beginning, in order.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 07:49 PM

Amos
A chip off the old Hawk you suggest? Don't know the fellow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 07:10 PM

Well, Ed, if you yourself are not one of Little Hawk's figment, then you are in for a very warm reception when he drops on. Shatner, you see, was sort of reconstructed as just the sort of Glamourous Divine you describe, mostly by the obsessed Little Hawk who cannot stop praising Shatner, accurately or not. As a result he has achieved an almost semi-fictitious stature around here. And, in turn, some of us have put Little Hawk on the defensive for this blind spot; so he will embrace you like a brother if you are not already one and the same person. He peoples these parts with so many fictitious characyrs tht one must be judicious.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 06:17 PM

Stilly River Sage
I remain wakeful of your advice, I surmise made in kindness. But, as the northern rocking chair rocker, Neil Young said "It's better to burn out than rust out".

I am left dark and perplexed from the suggestion, likely made in jest, that misfortune has come upon the much-adored and temperate beacon William Shatner. Maple-land legends reveal that upon his birth, the sky lit up above a frosty white volcano, kindling the horizon with orange and red. Could this be the source of tales of his early fiery demise? Maybe so? But, I suspect it is merely early dawn for the "trekster icon" , with his light shining strong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 05:57 PM

I think he got confused and intimidated by the Great Unreality Campaign. Being as how his main representative in these parts is Little Hawk, he wasn't sure whether he was a fact or a figment. Kinda got him down, I think.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 04:13 PM

Careful, Ed, it looks easy but it's possible to burn out if you take too much in too fast. Just look at William Shatner. He hasn't been back in ages and ages. It was too much for him here at MOAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 04:05 PM

What a stirring quote, Ed! You are as good as Rapaire, except for correctly attributing your quotes!!

(I just know I will be in trouble for this, but screw it, ya know?)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 04:01 PM

Amos! YOu sent MOM boob threading again? You *KNOW* what happenned the last time.

Miami beach still hasn't recovered.

MMario


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 03:53 PM

"The night dreamer cannot articulate a cogito. The night dream is a dream without a dreamer". Gaston Bachelard


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 03:12 PM

Dang, I KNEW I shouldn't have sent Mom down that boobs thread with a relative newcomer. SIgh.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 11:06 AM

A Brief History of the Temple


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 01:11 AM

You might enjoy using the Mudcat's search capabilities for posts relating to the Temple of the Golden Globes. Ed. There are several compilations. There has been so much to say on this front.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 11:51 PM

Horace the Horse, the breast and asymmetry:

As a rule of thumb, the quest for human symmetry is sought, but never satisfied. The closer we look, the more we see asymmetry.

I began a quest, early in life, focusing the breast. I set out to find perfect breasts, two that I believed would reflect perfect symmetry.

After much study, (I stop just short at calling it research), I concluded that one breast is "not like the other". At first I was puzzled, then dismayed. "Was this only true for young developing girls", I asked. As my discovery progressed, I found that breasts even up with age, never reaching a state of symmetry.

I now enjoy breasts of all sizes, big, little, or none at all (symmetry be gone with you, I say). My focus is now nipples. Like a fine sculpture, the breast is the pedestal upon which the masterpiece, the nipple, is exhibited. When one visits a museum, it's not to look at the pedestal, but, at the masterpiece sitting on it. The nipple is that magnificent masterpiece.

My journey brings me back to a child hood song, Horace the Horse (on the Merry Go Round) who was so sad that he was the last horse. Oone day he realized that "the others are a-following me" (Thank you Burl Ives).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 10:56 PM

It is clear that even in Unrealsville Ms Rutledge is woefully uninformed--for example she doesn't know the difference between virility and puerility, nor man from boy. Nut she has evidently organized her life safely enough that these vital distinctions cannot have any impact on her.

Some say the lass will prove as fire--some say as ice.

From what I have known about desire, I would say fire.

But, ice may suffice.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 10:17 PM

It warms my heart to see Amos getting a firm grasp on unreality at last.

"There's hope for that boy yet," says Chongo, pouring himself a stiff shot of whisky and checking the bore on the twin barrels of the coach gun.

"He may have a future role in one of my tales," chirps Corridus.

"'E's off to a flyemin' good start, 'e is!" says Olive Whatnoll.

"More puerile nonsense, I suppose?" remarks Penelope Rutledge, touching up her lip gloss and eyeliner. "How droll, the lives of these Californians. No wonder they make such silly feature films over there in Hollywood."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 10:14 PM

31516.

Such nice asymmetry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 08:33 PM

Like odd quotes, good stuff here

http://www.rvforsaleguide.com/funny-quotes-jason.htm


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 08:18 PM

Any good recipies for Scotch Cookies out there. Just how much scotch is recommended?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 08:15 PM

A NEW face on the inscrutable Mother of all BS threads!! Welcome, Ed T. Hang around and show yer stuff, or just have a little something. Unless you already have one.

Funny you should say that. I don't think the terrible problem of unwed fathers nationwide has ever been identified. If they were all rounded up and put to live in one big farm, maybe they could learn something!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 08:14 PM

When a clam closes its shell, does the little light go out?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 08:12 PM

Anyone considering opening up a home for unwed fathers? Just wondering.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 04:37 PM

I wish you guys would stop letting our Mom fall down.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 02:10 PM

I feel SO much better now that have learned to face unreality and deal with it. Little Hawk has really earned a vote of thanks here. I will never bother balancing my checkbook again!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 01:59 PM

Easy mistake to make, considering the amount of guano covering it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 12:58 PM

Ah. I thought that was a bird perch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 12:42 PM

Why, it's right over there, Stilly!!! Can't you see it? Take off those reality-based blinders and more than all will become clear.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 11:53 AM

Where is that statue?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 09 - 11:44 AM

I mean toi, sir. I will FACE UNREALITY and learn to look it in its multi-faceted mauve-hued eye. I will stop trying to escape into the easily concrete, the simply real, the firmly established, stop falling back on force, energy and solidsa which can be measured. I will stop pretending that Time is a unidirectional arrow. I will pull my head OUT of space-time's absurd mesh of agreed-on things, the siren-singing Reality and stand up to face the infinitely more difficult landscape of the bizarre, the weird, the imaginary, and the inReal. Why look, there is Chongo, offering to be my guide for a couple of Franklins. How nice!!

I see Corridus galumphing in the distance, being pursued by Shane. We walk past a statue of William Shatner playing the role of Bruce Murdoch. Wow!! Amazing how effective it can be just to stand up and take those blinders off, and just deal with the unReal!! I am a new man...so far, at least.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 09 - 11:08 PM

I have confidence that you will face the challenge with your usual panache and master it, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 09 - 10:57 PM

The very soul of generosity up to the last critical moment, yessiree bob.

LH, you raise a profound, nay, troubling question; what is wrong with me that I simply cannot confront Unreality? I must think on this and learn to step up to my responsibilities as a man, an American, and a MOABite.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 09 - 10:08 PM

The 500th what, Rap? You harassing the waitresses again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 09 - 09:47 PM

Please note my expectation that someone else would grab the 500th. But since no one else seems to care, I shall do so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 09 - 07:02 PM

Hi, Mom. I'm still alive. Just thought you'd like to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 09 - 07:01 PM

Why not? Consider this...

- the banks get rich on imaginary money
- the USA invades Iraq over imaginary WMDs
- Rush Limbaugh builds a lucrative career over imaginary threats
- US citizens go out and vote for imaginary saviours

What's holding you back? Are you some kind of traitor or subversive or something?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 09 - 06:43 PM

Not likely--I never get incapacitated on imaginary hooch.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 09 - 04:13 PM

If the friend had been Chongo, you'd be so hung over that you wouldn't even be posting here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 09 - 02:43 PM

YEsterday morning I launched my kayak in the fog. Lovely time paddling along the rockbound shores, walls of sandstone looming up out of the sea line with hubndreds of silent, solemn cormorants at rest in every nook and niche.

Last night I went to a friend's and drank too much!! Is that news, or what??? LOL Tsk. Someday I will learn.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 09 - 12:12 PM

Thanks, Ed!!!

I must tell Mom about launching and kayaking in the fog. Serene, deep, whispy fog, so thick you are out of sight of land long before you are out of earshot. Gentle swells, passing seals gasping in the mist when they come up for air, and the slow sketching-in process of the land appearing as the fog thins after sun-up.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Sep 09 - 11:58 AM

Come on, MOM, we gotta head up into the attic to pull some wires. Watch where you step--stay on the beams, don't step down into those insulation areas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 11:30 PM

Indeed, I can already imagine what the boys will do with it.

Thanks Ed. I think....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 11:23 PM

Ed T, that is a tool, and this is a BS thread. Though it doesn't belong here, I'm sure MOM and Rapaire and the boys down at the Legion Hovel will find something to do with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 07:35 PM

Don't see why, but just in case anyone has a need of this information and haven't bookmarked it before (don't know where else to put it:

http://www.infovisual.info/search/lexicon-en.php?q=S


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 04:37 PM

I've been out working in the garage building an important piece of woodwork to support the data and phone infrastructure in my house. Did I miss anything?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 03:38 PM

No, I was answering your question about Beck. But it's a transferable compliment.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 03:37 PM

"He can't carry a tune, and the only thing he plays is a cheap second-rate, tin-eared off-key audience."

Geez! I thought you were talking about the esteemed Mr Shatner until you got to the part about the audience...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 03:35 PM

Beck and call? Raise you a Bush and two Russian moose. Just cause I Cain, mac. (close... I am Palin in the pun dept.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 03:19 PM

But even your brother is not so sad and hard-bit a case as M. Beck.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 02:45 PM

My brother plays trombone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 01:12 PM

He can't carry a tune, and the only thing he plays is a cheap second-rate, tin-eared off-key audience.

A


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