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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 16 Aug 09 - 02:12 PM
Amos 16 Aug 09 - 01:55 PM
Janie 16 Aug 09 - 10:00 AM
Amos 16 Aug 09 - 12:20 AM
Janie 15 Aug 09 - 11:48 PM
Amos 15 Aug 09 - 11:19 PM
Janie 15 Aug 09 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 15 Aug 09 - 10:52 PM
Amos 15 Aug 09 - 09:40 PM
Little Hawk 15 Aug 09 - 07:36 PM
Acme 15 Aug 09 - 06:41 PM
Janie 15 Aug 09 - 05:17 PM
Janie 15 Aug 09 - 05:12 PM
Amos 15 Aug 09 - 05:11 PM
Little Hawk 15 Aug 09 - 04:52 PM
Amos 15 Aug 09 - 04:50 PM
Janie 15 Aug 09 - 04:46 PM
Janie 15 Aug 09 - 04:29 PM
Little Hawk 15 Aug 09 - 04:00 PM
Amos 15 Aug 09 - 03:59 PM
Janie 15 Aug 09 - 03:43 PM
Little Hawk 15 Aug 09 - 03:38 PM
gnu 15 Aug 09 - 03:11 PM
Amos 15 Aug 09 - 02:11 PM
Little Hawk 15 Aug 09 - 01:41 PM
Janie 15 Aug 09 - 01:32 PM
Little Hawk 15 Aug 09 - 01:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Aug 09 - 12:46 PM
Amos 15 Aug 09 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 15 Aug 09 - 12:07 PM
Acme 15 Aug 09 - 11:59 AM
Amos 15 Aug 09 - 11:52 AM
Janie 15 Aug 09 - 10:25 AM
Janie 15 Aug 09 - 10:24 AM
Janie 15 Aug 09 - 10:21 AM
Janie 14 Aug 09 - 10:23 PM
Little Hawk 14 Aug 09 - 10:03 PM
Janie 14 Aug 09 - 09:53 PM
Rapparee 14 Aug 09 - 09:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Aug 09 - 09:20 PM
Amos 14 Aug 09 - 08:50 PM
Janie 14 Aug 09 - 08:35 PM
Acme 14 Aug 09 - 07:07 PM
Janie 14 Aug 09 - 06:48 PM
Acme 14 Aug 09 - 06:07 PM
Little Hawk 14 Aug 09 - 05:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Aug 09 - 05:13 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 14 Aug 09 - 05:07 PM
Amos 14 Aug 09 - 04:35 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 14 Aug 09 - 04:12 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 02:12 PM

Sounds like yer livin the Calleeforneeahhh Dreamin, A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 01:55 PM

Good morning, Mom! I was up early and by 5:30 I was busting surf off La jolla Shores. Once through the surf-line, it was a pleasant paddle, not easy due to the long wide swells coming ons hore. But once far off land, the same swells made the trip back very dreamy and pleasant. The tricky part was the landing, as the sets were in tight to each other and no small potatoes. But I timed it well and although I got caught by a roller just at the margin of safety I got splashed but did not get rolled so I landed safely.

Then I scrubbed the kayak down and wiped everything off and got it stowed and set up the spray painting gear to put a coat of oil on the fence. That is a dirty job, but if you don't do it the fence gradually bleaches in the slow burn of SoCal ultraviolet, one of our best known exports.

Then I scrubbed THAT all up and restowed it after spraying both fences north and south. I think I wil take a shower and see what else I can squeeze into the day. I think I should go down to the Orifice and sketch out the next patent application.,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 10:00 AM

I really must shave more often....

Morning, MOM. Here's a nice cuppa for you. Gonna be a good day to do some gardening, so get your stretches done soon as you finish with that coffee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 12:20 AM

That was my error, ma'am. I have my ffice lights turned off and in the dark I mistook you for Rapaire...

You would think, would you not, that basic compassion would drive a society to care better for those whose burdens had overwhelmed them, regardless of how or why. I don't thinkk poeple generally go mentally ill without contributing to it themselves, but that is no excuse for the kind of social cruelty that often appears.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 11:48 PM

Naw. Introvert that I am, I generally quite enjoy my own company!

Good movie, btw, and a pretty acurate portrayal of the complexity of homelessness among those with severe and persistent mental illness. I'll be going to by the book tomorrow as part of a community read project I'm involved with to raise awareness (and hopefully, community and political will) to address homelessness among the mentally ill in my area. I nearly always am seeing at least a couple of folks in therapy who are either homeless, or on the brink there of.

Los Angeles has, I think, the largest homeless population, by far, of any urban area in the country. The movie itself was quite good, but I found some of the interviews regarding homelessness in LA that followed particularly interesting and cogent.

Don't worry, MOM, as long as one of us has roof over our heads, we'll see to it that you do also. Or as my Dad says, "As long as I've got a biscuit, then you've got a biscuit."

But only if you lay off the Mad Dog and the Legion Hall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 11:19 PM

A lonely role to shoulder. Healing to you, and a surcease from pain.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 11:00 PM

And I just watched The Soloist, solo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 10:52 PM

I once taught a choreographer some new moves, which she said she'd practice at least once every day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 09:40 PM

The oceanographer, the choreographer, and two stage-designer grande dames just left after spending a long afternoon eating and drinking, playing really interesting games.\\

It was a wunnerful pardee. I even taught the choreographer how to play piano boogiee woogie and she swears she will practice


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 07:36 PM

Formidable! (that was in French)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 06:41 PM

Reading the posts since I last posted is the same forwards or backwards. The sense they make, that is. Kind of like the equilibrium Amos was trying to demonstrate from Japanese to English. Only you did it in pig-French and English. Amazing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 05:17 PM

'Ceptin' Rap's. He got prickly, boar-bristle ears.

It is a genetic trait of those living at the foot of the Rockies.


Still, he do a better job with Hillbilly than the rest of youse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 05:12 PM

Aw, shucks. I loves all of yer soft little piggy ears.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 05:11 PM

YEah--but imitation dependent on a damn web-site translator is kinda lame. Thanks for the flattery, anyway. It will definitely earn you points in Amos heaven.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 04:52 PM

Ha! I like it.

But don't you just love how it all sounds in French? So poetic and sophisticated. Such style! Such flair! Such subtlety! I intend to berate Amos in French quite often in future and I must thank him for being the origin of that inspiration. He basically got the ball rolling by calling me things like "mon vieux" whenever he would start waxing all superior, and I was VERY impressed, I can tell you. What could I do? I responded in a similar fashion. When one encounters true greatness one can only follow in its footsteps. As they say, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 04:50 PM

Aw, shucks. Oink oink?? Aw, dang. C'mon now....that ain't fair.   :D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 04:46 PM

And here I was thinking the exchange started with something like this:

LH: Janie, you read my mind, I was thinking exactly the same thing!

Amos: LH, to admit such a thing suggests you are pussy-whipped.

LH: Me? Pussy-whipped? Not so, you soft, easy-living wimp of a Southern Californian. Like anyone from the Great White North, where men are men, and sheep (but not moose) are scared, I am as verile and dominant as a grizzly bear!

Gnu: Hehehe, ain't we all. (Notice the ambiquity - are you all grizzly bears, or all you all puss-whipped?)

To which I say to all regarding the use of the term "pussy-whipped".....Oink, Oink.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 04:29 PM

Oh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 04:00 PM

It is:

"Pussy-whipped"? What are you talking about, my beloved ancient floor sweeper? You question my masculinity? For shame! You are shaking a wilted old zuchinni in the face of an immovable mountain, my good fellow.

***

No, wait...that was in normal English. You want Apallachian Hillbilly?

Ummm...how about...

"Pussy-whipped"? Whut in tarnation are yew sayin', yew danged old varmint? Yew sayin' I'm not a ma-yan??? Jest back off raght now, y'hear? Yer wavin' a rusty old one-shot pistol that ain't even loaded in the face of a ragin' grizzly, yew pissant, puddle-jumpin' polecat!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 03:59 PM

SHucks, Janie, t'aint all much. He wuz whining that you wasn't paying him mind, and I tole him to suck it up and not be so dang pussy whipped an' precious, an' he said as how that was wrong.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 03:43 PM

OK. Now translate all of that into Appalachian Hillbilly, por favor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 03:38 PM

"Pussy-whipped"? De que parlez-vous, ma balayeuse antique aimée de plancher ? Vous remettez en cause ma masculinité ? Pour la honte ! Vous secouez un vieux zuchinni fané face à une montagne immeuble, mon bon camarade.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 03:11 PM

Heheheee.. Hahahaaa.

Me, mois and Jimmy Suis billangue eh buddy. The whole tree.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 02:11 PM

Tsk!! To te rends tellement precieux, mon vieux chou. Essayes de te faire un peu plus masculin et moins pussy-whipped.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 01:41 PM

Janie ! Je pense que vous m'ignorez. Ceci me blesse profondément à l'intérieur de mon coeur tendre. Veuillez considérer mes sentiments.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 01:32 PM

And I was thinking I am glad he has a family member who can spend a week with him without losing their mind!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 01:13 PM

Amos, mon peu d'anchovie de scintillement, I have had exactly the same thing happen more times than I care to tell. I hit "submit", expecting my last brilliant post to go through...and later discover that it never did and it has been lost forever! Oh, the frustration!

I feel your pain, Mon vieil homoncule! Remember always to select and copy your latest brilliant post before sending it. Then check and see if it went through at all. If it didn't, call up the damned thread again from the beggining...paste your post back into the box AGAIN...and send it AGAIN. Repeat as many times as necessary. Eventually it will get through.

I think Max is secretly making posts vanish in a random fashion. He's doing it to slowly drive us all insane, but I have found a way to counter his perfidious plan....Heh! Heh! Heh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 12:46 PM

I'm glad Rapaire has a family member with whom he can spend a week without losing his mind. If any of my relatives were to attempt to visit for more than a day, I'd be flipping a coin... Heads for murder, tails for suicide.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 12:14 PM

Tell him to bring his shoulders.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 12:07 PM

HEY MOM!! MY BROTHER TONY IS COMING OUT AT THE END OF SEPTEMBER FOR A WEEK-LONG VISIT!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 11:59 AM

Amos, I think you'll find that Gluon was playing with the cyber-space vacuum and pointed at the World Wide Web. Sucked your rejoiner right out of existence. Or it might be plastered on the side of a moon crater.

Janie, what did you give MOM for that headache? Can I have some of it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 11:52 AM

Oh, bravo, well claimed...I think...

What I want to know is, what happened to my Elegant Irrefutable Rejoinder. I wrote it in the box just like always, and pressed "Submit". Maybe that was the error--submit is not something I do graciously. Anyway it WOULD have left Little Hawk speechless if it had gone through, but I'll never have the recipe again. Oh,. noooo. And these days, they don't make those EIRs like they used to. And you can't hire 'em. either. They just aren't as elegant.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 10:25 AM

....and claim 30800!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 10:24 AM

Course, it gives the chance to sneak around....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 10:21 AM

Wake up! I've been up since 4:30 and am tired of walking on tiptoe so as not to disturb you lazy lot.

Stop whining about your headache MOM. I told you not to go with Rap to the Legion Hall last night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 10:23 PM

Oh no, Mr. Bill....not the maple syrup ration!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 10:03 PM

In Orillia they take away your maple syrup ration for a week, Janie!

Scary stuff, let me tell you.

*****

Amos, ma petite boulette de pomme, you must stop confusing me with Chongo. He thinks way differently than I do on many subjects. Please keep that in mind and focus on whom you are talking to and you'll make a lot more sense. At least I hope so. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 09:53 PM

No wonder I'm afraid to check out the Library in my new town.


The Librarian might pull a pistol on me when I return a book late;>0


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 09:43 PM

I didn't know a Spanish mackerel had a beard and wore a cap.

My Associate Director and I went to the shooting range this morning, someplace we could discuss personnel stuff without being interrupted or having the whole place know about it as it was said. We shot some targets, and she asked how far a .22 long rifle bullet would travel if it didn't hit something first. I told her a mile or more, and then demonstrated by shooting a berm 650 yards away (just the dirt, no target), after shooting berms at successive distances out to it. This was with a .22 pistol, mind you, not a rifle.

She thought it would be a good safety lesson for everyone on the PAMMSC to see, so we'll do that when we next go out there.

After we finished we went to Our Favorite Gunstore and she bought herself a Ruger Mark III target pistol, 7 inch slab-sided bull barrel, blued, with a contoured and checkered walnut grip. Sam, the owner of OFG, made her shoot it before he sold it to her. She came out of the range and said, "I'm in love." Sam had made a sale, and she will return the pistol she's been using to her daughter.

Had physical therapy this afternoon. The less said about the pain the better, only the PT guy (Doctor Lash, he's called) said that I'm about a week ahead on my recovery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 09:20 PM

Mom got a ticket for driving the riding lawn mower into traffic instead of with it?

Heck, I knew she got a ticket while drivin' the mower, but I thought it was for drag racin'. You know how much Mom likes to pop wheelies and burn rubber.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 08:50 PM

Wow, LH, that is the most complex case of Egyptian confusion I have ever seen--you seem to have no idea whether you're in de Nile or out of it!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 08:35 PM

Yeh, Stilly, I noticed the erratic speed, weaving mostly within the lane, and the right wheels often running off the road onto the berm, with occasional drifting a little over the center line for several miles. It was when she swerved completely over into the on-coming lane that I decided I really had to call 911.

I resist my inner "goody-two-shoes" until I decide there is a real safety threat. I'm clear that in this case, there was.

The Boys, on the otherhand, blow a lot of hot air into cyberspace, but ain't seen no casualties, or even near misses yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 07:07 PM

That kind of behavior when driving is just as dangerous, Janie, and she needed to be ticketed.

Last traffic ticket MOM got was for driving the riding lawn mower down to the 7-11 for a slurpee. She rode into traffic instead of with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 06:48 PM

Hey MOM, the lady I called 911 about as I was following her down the road on the ride home from work wasn't drunk after all!

Much to my surprise, law enforcement called me back to tell me the outcome. (Once a patrol car had shown up and started tailing her, I peeled off and headed to the grocery store.) She just couldn't keep it between the telephone poles for 10 miles of arguing with her husband and trying to smack badly behaving kids in the backseat. They ticketed her for careless and reckless driving. On the one hand, I feel like a fink. On the other, maybe she will be less perilous on the roads next time, and save the arguing and swatting of kids for when she is not behind the wheel of a car.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 06:07 PM

Hey, MOM! The laptop finally picks up the wireless signal in the area. About time. I think it was installing Service Pack 3 that fixed it. It was supposed to be in there already, but there was a malfunction for installing stuff for a while. I fixed a couple of things, messed one up and re-installed it, and now everything works.

Anything around the house I can fix for you? (No, I didn't mean to offer to defrost the freezer. . . )


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 05:22 PM

WAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 05:13 PM

THIS is Spanish Mackerel. As you can well imagine, if you catch Spanish Mackerel, it really hurts to pee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 05:07 PM

Still spreadin' the same old disinfo for yer political whore bosses, Amos? When will you guys learn that the people are not buyin' yer sorry lies and innuendos? She ain't my sister, see, she's a roundheeled proskirt wacko and whambo nutcase chimp from Mexico who is pretendin' to be my longlost "sister" in order to discredit me and the APP. I have got people watchin' her 24/7. She makes no move that we don't know about. We are collectin' evidence that will put her away fer a looooong time if she don't get smart and lay off the harassment.

And "vulnerable to fiscal motivation", am I? I can read between the lines, Roscoe. You are tryin' to bribe a presidential candidate. You are tryin' to buy my silence and my complicity in the betrayal of this nation to globalization, specism, and tyranny. Yes, I can read between the lines and I get yer drift loud and clear. Well, there are stiff penalties for that sorta thing, see? You want I should inform the authorities and get the legal machinery in motion? Hmmm? Izzat whatchyu want?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 04:35 PM

Remarkable!! Where once he denied all cognizance of his abandoned, neglected and abused sib, Chongo now seems to have taken a strong interest in her doings and knows all about her personnel and tactics. Someone must have told him about her balance sheet, at a time when he was peculiarly vulnerable to fiscal motivation (namely, any time at all).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 04:12 PM

He caught it from Conchita. Her name is pretty much equivalent to the name "Shelley" in English. She is one of Chinga's most accomplished girls, always leaving her customers something to remember her by. The old "pier plungin'" routine is popular with people who get their kicks by riskin' bein' seen doin' "it" in a public place. I'd never have figured Bee-dub for one of those, but you can't go by outer appearances.

- Chongo


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