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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 03 Mar 09 - 03:11 PM
MMario 03 Mar 09 - 03:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Mar 09 - 02:45 PM
Amos 03 Mar 09 - 02:42 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 09 - 01:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Mar 09 - 01:28 PM
Amos 03 Mar 09 - 12:17 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 09 - 12:11 PM
Amos 03 Mar 09 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 03 Mar 09 - 11:46 AM
Amos 03 Mar 09 - 11:09 AM
Janie 03 Mar 09 - 10:38 AM
Ebbie 03 Mar 09 - 12:06 AM
Amos 02 Mar 09 - 10:57 PM
Acme 02 Mar 09 - 10:56 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 09:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Mar 09 - 08:07 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 07:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Mar 09 - 06:55 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 06:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Mar 09 - 06:22 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 06:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Mar 09 - 06:02 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 06:01 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 05:55 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 05:27 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 05:25 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 05:23 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 05:20 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 05:19 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 05:19 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 04:53 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 04:41 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 04:40 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 04:39 PM
Janie 02 Mar 09 - 04:38 PM
MMario 02 Mar 09 - 04:33 PM
MMario 02 Mar 09 - 04:31 PM
Acme 02 Mar 09 - 04:25 PM
Acme 02 Mar 09 - 04:25 PM
Amos 02 Mar 09 - 02:45 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 01:48 PM
Amos 02 Mar 09 - 12:44 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 12:23 PM
Acme 02 Mar 09 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 11:58 AM
Amos 02 Mar 09 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 11:18 AM
Amos 02 Mar 09 - 09:13 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 09:11 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 03:11 PM

Maybe rather then prepared it should be termed "antepared" as in antebellum or antedeluvian


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 03:02 PM

it's a paradox anyway, because if before paring the item is prepared; but prepared would normally mean it was pared prior to purchase, in whihc case it would not need paring, because the prepared item was already pared.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 02:45 PM

Hey Mom! 'Splain somethin' to me! When you remove the skin or rind from a vegetable before cooking, it's called "paring", right? And after that skin has been removed, the vegetable has been "pared", right? Now, the prefix "pre" means "before", right? So a vegeatble with its skin still on could be said to be in a "prepared state", right? But a vegetable that has been cooked is also said to be "prepared". So first it's prepared, then it's pared, then it's prepared. Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 02:42 PM

But their harp player is a Harpie. And don't even ASK about bagpipes, or the guy who plays the scuttlebutt.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 01:57 PM

And their virginal player is, well, virginal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 01:28 PM

Hey now, don't be dissin' The Cockamamie Knowns! They're a great band! Their sackbut player kicks, well, sackbut.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 12:17 PM

Another of your large collection of cockamamie "knowns" which are free of any observable connection to the actual. BEsides, how can you save face in an ASCII-based forum? What type of face do you have?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 12:11 PM

See? I knew that you'd attempt to obfuscate my reply in a pathetic bid to save face.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 11:54 AM

A ridiculous notion on the face of it, sir, as there were never more than twenty-words of Mamulique ever collected. I am sure you are prevaricating about the prospective consequences of translation. There are no living speakers of the tongue, anyway. This is a pathetic red-herring, glimmering and stinking in the moonlilght like a lonely stoplight looming through the wet mists of time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 11:46 AM

Amos is jealous of my use of internal rhyme. And before he screams "NOOOOO!!" I will hasten to inform him that if the lines he questions are translated into Mamulique he will quickly see his error.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 11:09 AM

Lovely expression. Snowballs and pepper and old leather uppers,la da de da de da de da.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 10:38 AM

There is definitely a song in there somewhere, Ebbie!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 12:06 AM

I'm reading another history of Juneau's early days.

The first winter - 1880 - about 20 miners stayed over. They built rockers and sluices and stuff until the snow came and stayed and then just kind of sat and waited for spring.

The next summer one of them was asked how they had made out. And he said, "Mainly we lived on snowballs and pepper."

Isn't that a great line?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 10:57 PM

I am very proud of all of youse,
You never make me sing the blues,
You're all adept, but one who ain't
Rhymes "mineral" with "self-restraint".

You're fluent, glib and full of spark
The best e'r descended from the ark!
But one, as dull as last year's paint,
Rhymes "mineral" with "self-restraint".

Your quick and sharp with fresh bull-shit,
Colorful language, thick with wit!
Except for one, who sans constraint
Rhymes "mineral" with "self-restraint".

Here's the bright, the pure, the great
Who brought us through that Twenty Eight
And to the rascal, thick but quaint,
Rhymes "mineral" with "self-restraint".

Onward brave spirits!! Onward climb!
Perchance to reach Great Twenty-Nine!
Except for one, who, growing faint,
Rhymes "mineral" with "self-restraint".


A

(Actually Rapaire's parody on Gilbert was very cunning.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 10:56 PM

I see I missed that footrace to the next milestone, but I'm glad Janie beat the boys to it! I didn't have snow as an excuse, I was working on stuff today. Funny how that works, when you have a job. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 09:03 PM

I would never "set up" a lady, tho' I might provide set ups for a lady.

As for dinosaurs, I used to know some only they moved up to Inuvik when Yellowknife became too crowded. Haven't heard from them in a long time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 08:07 PM

Gluon has no blood, but he does have plasma.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 07:41 PM

Heck, so is Rapaire.

For that matter, so are Shane, Chongo, and the Legionaires.

Not sure about Gluon. One must have blood before issues of cold or warm blood have relevance. Yes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 06:55 PM

Emotional intelligence? They were warm-blooded. That's a start.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 06:28 PM

Ah, but how did they rate on emotional intelligence?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 06:22 PM

The most highly evolved dinosaurs at the time of the great extinction were probably about as intelligent as our deer. Not exactly dripping with smarts, but a helluva lot smarter than the lowly underbrush-dwelling mammals from which we evolved. They were much farther from being lizards than we are from being hedgehogs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 06:11 PM

Well, triple aught to you too, you....you....you swamp dweller, lizard lover you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 06:02 PM

You base-ten people amuse me with your superstitious belief in the special power of numbers ending in "000". Had it not been for that big hunk of space rock that hit the earth some millions of years back, thus changing the course of evolution and allowing mammalia, not dinosauria, to become the planet's dominant animal class, the most highly evolved animals would be the descendents of dinosaurs, not shrews, and they'd have four digits on each appendage, not five, which means they would use a base-eight counting system, not the decimal system we use. In base-eight, your precious '28000' is '66540'. Not so special any more, is it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 06:01 PM

Rapaire,

Your verse makes clear you set me up!

May a leprechaun sprinkle the inside of your underwear with invisible bramble thorns.

So there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:55 PM

I am the very model of very modern self-restraint
I've never grabbed a hundred or a thousand, never, no I ain't
I never charge at usury on the things that I have lent
And Mom calls me her favorite though Amos thinks that I am bent.

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters bibliographical, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of very modern self-restraint.

I know our mythic history, King Khandu's and Sir Tweedledum's
I answer hard acrostics, I never curse the very dumb
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of old Bee-Dubya-Ell
In religion I can tell the heavenly stairs from the floors of Hell.

I can write an acquisitions list in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Ranganathan's uniform
In short, in matters bibliographical, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of very modern self-restraint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:27 PM

Oh Gawd, the guilt is killing me....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:25 PM

Amos,

Please don't mad. It's Rapaire's fault.

He said I could.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:23 PM

MOM!!!!!

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:20 PM

I shall not be the one to greedily and with malice aforethought seize 28,000.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:19 PM

You've had your chance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:19 PM

Alright, DON'T.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:53 PM

Oh, hell. Go for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:41 PM

to....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:40 PM

the honor, and so I will not presume


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:39 PM

I have not earned


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:38 PM

Hey Mom, It snowed! Unfortunately, not near enough to suit me. But they closed all the schools and my clinic anyway.

Wish I had called to hear the message saying the office was closed before I drove 30 miles to work this morning.

Wish there had been enough snow for a good sled ride.

Wish the pine trees would get their blooming finished with. (....finish with their blooming....)

Guess which tune to sing this to. (....to which to sing this.... for you pendants)

It's pine tree blooming time, my nose is running
I can feel the pollen burning in my eyes
I can tell it by the way I cough and sniffle
Well, it's pine tree blooming time in Caroline.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:33 PM

BTW - did I mention my knitting "fan club" is over 2300 members?

(nine)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:31 PM

Eleven to go @ your post, by my count, and ten with this one.

Time to count DOWN!

yeah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:25 PM

I guess we are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 04:25 PM

Are we really that close?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 02:45 PM

We've fourteen posts to go today
Heave away, and post away!
Until the twenty-eight of K,
Oh, post away, boys, post away!

My capting, well, I heard him say
Heave away and post away!
We'll make that twenty-eight today!
Oh, post away boys, post away!

My Sal to me she did confess
Heave away, and post away!
She could not say no to BS,
Oh, post away, boys, post away!

And then my Mary Ann did mutter
Heave away, and post away!
That BS turns her knees to butter,
Oh, post away, boys, post away!

So post away, and do not wait
Heave away, and post away!
We're bound to make that Twenty-Eight!
Oh, post away, boys, post away!

A BS poster gets no peace of mind
Heave away, and post away!
For after that comes twenty-nine!
Oh, post away, boys, post away!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:48 PM

Well, I write what I know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 12:44 PM

That's so...so...so vivid, Rapaire!! You have such a mastery of the critical details of degradation!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 12:23 PM

Shame McBride is dead. Even if he weren't he wouldn't DARE come around here: they'd drink him under the table, laugh at what he called his "manhood", and then beat him up and throw him back into the train car that brung him.

Besides, he never got near enough water to bathe in and only rarely even let a drop touch is scabby lips.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 12:14 PM

You'd better check your locks, just in case Shane heard about you going out of town. And maybe dig a moat; I suspect he can't swim.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:58 AM

I don't have a cat, not at home or at work. The last cat in the yard was about four feet long in the body, tawny colored, long tail, and eating a neighbor's toy poodle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:41 AM

Well, this is paradoxical indeed--so many people have told him to put a Cork in it, and he goes and puts it into Cork instead!! Just shows to go-ya--ya never knows which way that cat is gwineter jump.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:18 AM

Wednesday to Chicago, Thursday to Shannon. We'll fly back from Dublin.

Saturday we'll be in Cork and after that who knows?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 09:13 AM

Moral: When your [picture is turned tot he wall, sell the wall out from under it?

Hmmm....

You are leaving Thursday, young Rap-scallion? My regards to Dublin town. where the maids are so pretty.   Don't drink any wooden pints, now.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 09:11 AM

He also became a senate page and eventually, a Congressman. He's now a lobbyist for Nuclear Waste Disposers and the American Air And Water Pollution Council; another of his clients is Regulations: Why?.


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