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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 09:02 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 08:45 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 08:19 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 07:44 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 05:44 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 05:27 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 04:34 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 04:31 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 04:27 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 03:03 PM
Acme 26 Feb 09 - 03:03 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 02:18 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 02:03 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 01:38 PM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 10:39 AM
MMario 26 Feb 09 - 10:28 AM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 08:56 AM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 08:51 AM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 09:01 PM
Acme 25 Feb 09 - 08:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 09 - 08:01 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 06:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 09 - 06:06 PM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM
MMario 25 Feb 09 - 04:38 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 03:52 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 03:47 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 03:47 PM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 03:26 PM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 03:14 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 02:53 PM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 02:01 PM
MMario 25 Feb 09 - 01:49 PM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 12:36 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 10:53 AM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 09:48 AM
Acme 25 Feb 09 - 09:41 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 09 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 09:22 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 25 Feb 09 - 02:01 AM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 01:12 AM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 10:50 PM
Acme 24 Feb 09 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 09:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Feb 09 - 09:13 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 09:02 PM

It's a partial tear and the PT might get it corrected. If not...well, it's the ol' arthroscope.

Now that sounds like a folk song: The Old Arthroscope.

How well I remember the days of my youth
The house were my family did dwell
Logs made up the walls and mud was the floor
And the arthroscope hung by the well.

The old arthroscope my mother first used
When I was just a wee lad
It was rusty and rotten and old and it stank
But having it made my mom glad.

She would show us the riches inside of our bods
The organs, meniscii and all
Our pancreas, liver, vas deferens and such
As she worked on us out in the hall.

I remember my sister was silent and grave
Until mother had shown her the way
That her intestines converted her food into...stuff
And that made my sister quite gay.

But the old arthroscope is no longer extant
Since grandma thought it was a flute
She blew her brains out trying to play a fine tune
And we buried her 'longside her lute.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:45 PM

PErhaps you will end up Dublin your indemnity by blowing the candles out. Or Dublin your pleasure, but not your pain, I hope.

I always knew this was a mean joint. You can tell--it's all them folks on the lamb.

Anyway, not to put too fine a point on it, I am sorry for your pain--if you have torn the bugger it can be sewn up with microsurgery so the incision is vurry vurry tiny, but the recovery is still months of gradual exercise. Oy, such tsuris!! BBW has just completed recovering from it, and hers was a good eight months back.


Make other people do the reshelving for a while.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:19 PM

I shouldn't have been so mean and I apologize. Amos, you don't have to fleche yourself no matter how funny you'd look.

It's the pain in my shoulder. (True stuff:) I have a tear in the rotator cuff of my left shoulder and I had my first round of physical therapy just a couple hours ago. We're doing PT to see if surgery can be avoided.

This will NOT prevent me from going to Ireland next week, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 07:44 PM

Go fleche yourself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 05:44 PM

I don't WEAR breeches! Hahahahahaha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 05:27 PM

I see no advance in your attitude, sirrah. You are worthy of being simultaneously on-piste and piste-on, while I am roundly piste-off at your concatenated irascibilities and assaults. May your body-wire end up roundly entangled in your breeches and all your employees break ground in cadence at your advance.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 04:34 PM

Oh, piste off Amos. You obviously don't know your forte from your foible, or probably your pommel from your point. That's what happens when Socals thrust at their betters.

Kendall is our own Kendall as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 04:31 PM

One should be on guard against confusing foils with foibles, old fellow. But I applaud you for bringing Deckman into play, no matter how fancy the footwork needed to do it. He, at least, is consistently a gentleman of the finest school.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 04:27 PM

My forte is in excellence and creativity, whereas those are, for you, just foibles. I am on my guard to ensure a good lunge at such things as the interviews.

Yes, Stilly, that is our own Deckman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 03:03 PM

You are unnecessarily edgy, my young blade. Virtue comes from having a strong foundation. SOmetimes one must leave the fence behind and carve his own path.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 03:03 PM

Is Bob Nelson mudcat's own Deckman, from Everett?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 02:18 PM

Others will now get the point, because Amos took a stab at Peter Westbrook. (I can't wait to read his riposte!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 02:03 PM

"Peter Westbrook is an American sabre fencing champion.

Westbrook was born to an African-American father and a Japanese mother, who had met while his father was stationed at a military base in Japan.

Westbrook grew up in New Jersey, where he often fought at school until his mother put him in a fencing class. For college, he attended New York University on a full scholarship, and graduated in 1975. In 1973 he won the NCAA fencing championships in sabre. + He won gold medals at the Pan American Games in 1983 and 1995, silver medals in 1979 and 1987, and a bronze medal in 1975. He won a bronze medal at the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles. He was a member of 5 other Olympic teams as well.

Since his retirement he founded the Peter Westbrook Foundation in New York City, which aims to guide inner-city youth away from gang violence through participation in fencing. "

For those of us who are not on the fence, so to speak.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 01:38 PM

Rapaire has just talked with Peter Westbrook.

Hahahahahaha! Mom is proud of me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:39 AM

Naw, Rapaire doesn't lie about serious stuff--just everything else. And his attitude problem means almost everything is on the "else" list.

Way to go, Book-Man!! Du bist eine mensch.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:28 AM

The problem is, it's hard to tell when you are talking some serious sh*t; or whether the sh*t you are talking is serious.

If you HAVE managed to line up that list of people for radio interviews - WOW! But if you haven't, well, I'm not going to embaress myself by enthusing over it when you could be pulling both legs and an arm. I figure Jacqui can take care of you in that case, for taking kendall's name in vain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:56 AM

Rendered speechless by my brilliance, huh? Don't worry, I'll still speak with all those little people. And I'll still be the kind, avuncular, humble person I have been.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:51 AM

Well, yes, it has Amos.

Really.

I'll tell the folks here first.

Our Library is doing a series of radio interviews with people of interest. They will be broadcast on our Library's radio show over KISU, our local NPR station and later posted to our Library website. KISU simulcasts over the web at www.kisu.org.

So far we have broadcast an interview with Dana Stabenow (whose latest book was published Feb. 17 and is on the NYT Best Seller list). We have "SURE!" responses from a bunch of people.

Dates have been set for recording Bob Nelson, JA Jance, Kendall Morse, and Bruce Murdoch. Others who have agreed to it are Peter Westbrook and some flash-in-the-pan dude named Tom Paxton. We're negotiating with Richie Havens and Ursula K. Le Guin. We've contacted Barbara Brackman.

There will be others.

If you don't know these people you should find out who they are.

One step at a time, slowly, slowly, The Revolution creeps forward. If you are not with us you are against us. If you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem: Up Against The Wall!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:56 PM

Hey I sent the Real Inside Story on Bruce Murdoch's Revival and Official Comeback to personal connections at NPR's national desk. I guess they passed it on to the music editors, but not a note of response did I receive. I am most disappointed.

Maybe they are not the Liberals they pretend to be? Do you suppose NPR has been co-opted by... by... RAPAIRE???????


My God, what an awful thought.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:01 PM

You do it. We have about 40 people coming on Saturday and on Wednesday next we're off to Ireland (via Chicago).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:38 PM

I'm glad to see that all of you had the leisure to natter away over here on MOAB all day while some of us were away at work. But one of us now have a new toy tool. The laptop has been assigned, the docking station has been set up. I will enjoy exploring the possibilities. My old laptop, retired years a go, was light years behind this. And only about a dozen years separate them.

Is there anyone keeping track of other very long threads out there in cyberspace? If we send a note to NPR do you think Nina Totenberg or Michele Norris will interview any of us? Our luck they'd end up talking to Chongo or Shane, wouldn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:01 PM

Don't worry about not having a Strat, Rap. God likes trumpets. Also kazoos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 06:27 PM

I don't have a Stratocaster. Does that mean I can't jam with God?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 06:06 PM

I would like to interject the following:

If there is a God and s/he is all-everything, why must we worship?

The truly enlightened do not worship. They revel.

They do not bow before God as if God were some rock-n-roll guitar hero. They pick up their Stratocaster, jump up on stage, and jam with Him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM

Rapaire's question was not written in Base 2, it was written in Base frame of mind, as usual. And his question related to marriage was the one about people being mean to each other.

s it possible that Ranganathan's Colon Classification has been the only "pure" classification scheme ever developed, and why or why not?

Yes, because it reflects the hierarchical ordering nature of human minds, or not.

Harriet Avrams? Or Fred Kilgour?

Yes, indeed.

Did you know that from one on every other number is odd?


Relatively, yes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 04:38 PM

When the Rap asked:

If 1+1=2, why doesn't 2+2=3?

Amos answered....

Because 1+1=2.

However, I would like to interject that sometimes 1 + 1 = 11; both in the case of my parents marriage and in base 2.

Is there a numerical system where 2 + 2 could equal 3? I wonder.....It would probably have to be based on fractions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:52 PM

Did you know that from one on every other number is odd?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:47 PM

Harriet Avrams? Or Fred Kilgour?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:47 PM

Is it possible that Ranganathan's Colon Classification has been the only "pure" classification scheme ever developed, and why or why not?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:30 PM

Ask away, good Horatio. I can probably come up with more answers than in all your library's philosophy! ;>)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:26 PM

Would you like to answer some more questions? I have lots of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 03:14 PM

These are excellent questions, and each of them has an excellent answer!

Why are people mean to each other?

Because each other are different.

Why is there hunger in a world of plenty?

To incite change.

How can we establish a true peace?

By introverting people with snide invalidations so they will look within, which is where true peace is found.

Why am I so darned good looking and no one else is?

BEcause you do not see them as you see yourself, and vice versa.

What came before the Big Bang?

The Big Bang minus 1.

Is the number just before infinity infinity minus 1, or something else?

Yes.

If 1+1=2, why doesn't 2+2=3?

Because 1+1=2.

If there is a God and s/he is all-everything, why must we worship?

No reason. In fact, it is not the case that we must worship.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:53 PM

Yes. Yes, indeed.

Why are people mean to each other?
Why is there hunger in a world of plenty?
How can we establish a true peace?
Why am I so darned good looking and no one else is?
What came before the Big Bang?
Is the number just before infinity infinity minus 1, or something else?
If 1+1=2, why doesn't 2+2=3?
If there is a God and s/he is all-everything, why must we worship?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:28 PM

This is you: !!!!

This is you, averaging. ---0---

Any questions?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:01 PM

Rather more exactly it would be 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097
4944592307816406286208998628034825342117067, or about 22/7ths.

Please try to be more exact in you averaging.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 01:49 PM

110! Why - we could probably manage that in an hour, with a little effort. Lessee, counting each of LH's various facets, except shatnerd that would probably only be less then 3.14159 posts each!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 12:36 PM

We are only 110 posts away from the 28K line. Twenty-eight thousand posts!!!!

Such sheer determination, and volume, is unknown in all of Mudcat history.

The men and women of the MOAB have given new meaning to the concept of BS artistry. They are BS heroes, one and all. They have proven to the world what a dedicated small group of people, fueled by One Good Idea, can do.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 10:53 AM

On the way into the Library, with the Friends membership drive table out front.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 10:40 AM

The recent chimpanzee attack in Stamford, Conn., was a tragedy for the woman who was horribly mauled. It was also a reminder that primates should not keep other primates as pets. The obvious reason is the danger involved. No matter how tame they may sometimes appear, chimpanzees are vastly stronger than most people realize. And no matter how socialized a chimpanzee seems, it is still in exile from its kind, its way of being.

The New York TImes has decreed: primates should not keep other primates as pets.

But I think this is one of those policies that sounds good on the surface, yet is fraught with unintended and distressing consequences.

Many marriages are put at risk thereby, not to mention videotape and DVD rentals of Planet of the Apes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:48 AM

Ah, Bee-Dub, that picture was taken last week. Just look at those gas lights! We are Thoroughly Modern.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:41 AM

Great card catalog there, Rap.

Amazing how difficult it can be to misspell a post. That was a work of art.

My work will become easier today, because they're giving me a laptop for work. But that means one more thing I have to haul back and forth when I go over there. [sigh] Add this case to the camera bag and case for whatever paperwork I'm working on, and my regular shoulder pack (or pocketbook) and I look like a bag lady.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:37 AM

Wow, Rapaire, you cut quite a dashing figure in your younger days!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:35 AM

Usually there are people of one sort or another in my office. Staff, mostly, but sometimes I have to talk to a sales rep or, less frequently now, execute someone. We used to draw and quarter them and put their heads up on spikes over the doors, but now we find it more efficient to simply shoot them in the back of head and impale the bodies (a la Vlad Tepes) along the walks to the building and along the edges of the parking lots. This has reduced overdues, fines are paid on time, and the theft of materials has gone way, way down. And we're saving lots of postage money since we no longer have to mail out overdue notices!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:22 AM

You're right,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:01 AM

NEVER trsut a flippin' Libarrian! They ain't bearly human, eh? You got basicaly 2 kinds of Libarrians out there.

1. Friggid and mean spinnster type wommen that wear weerd glasses and have their flippin' hair tyed back in a bun and got a mean look on their face that would kerdle milk and turn a flippin' pit bull to stone!

2. Weerd old guys in messy suits that are, like, 50 years outta date and they got, like, wild hair that is white or grey and ain't been kombbed in days, and they yewshally smoke a pipe on there brake outside when they go to the flippin' bench and sit with there flippin' Lattay and try to pick up the young girls by actin' like they are some kinda innalecchual brains or somethin'. And they wear them horned rimmed glasses with a strap around their head so's they don't fall off! These are MAJOR loosers I'm talkin' about! MAJOR! They been tryin' to impress girls with the book readin' act since they was 12 years old and it never worked yet, so they are probally all STILL virgins and horny as hell! Buncha flippin' perverts! They otta be locked up.

I figger Rapaire fer the flippin' porto-type of yer standard male Libarrian. You could use him as a example of the breed and send him arowned the cuntry to warn off people of how bad these guys are and so young girls would stay away from the flippin' Libarries and go to the bars and hotels instead where they are safe and among good desent people, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 01:12 AM

The unWASHED, sirrah???

Fie. Such condescension merits the Curse of the BS: May the milch of a thousand cowes backe intoe youre sinuses.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 10:50 PM

If underlings do not, the boss is no boss.

My job is to make it possible for the unwashed to do their jobs well. That makes my job easier.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 10:38 PM

Just so you know who's really in charge. :)

The man who is my boss has had three different jobs here since I started. When he was selected as Dean of the Library, I remember stopping in his doorway one day (while he was still associate director) and asking "when you're Dean, will I still report directly to you, or to one of the others up here?" Contemplating the possible outcomes of working for one of the others was a rich image, with various possible outcomes.

After a silent pause, I concluded "I think I'll keep reporting to you."

And that was it. Sometimes underlings do have a say in these matters. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 09:26 PM

Drop a line through the middle of the "8" and spin the number around on this axis.

My office (at work) consists of a poor, overburdened desk, an older four-drawer wooden file cabinet (also burdened with papers), and a small bookcase upon which my computer (and more papers) sits. On the wall are framed diplomas and other pieces of amusement, including a rubbing of Shakespeare's epitath and an icon of Michael the Archangel. I have a six-shot, single action, nerf gun in a desk drawer; it was given to me by my staff as a birthday present and it provides amusement for children. My office is L-shaped; down the other leg of the L are kept what we laughingly call "the archives", which include the police records from 1916 to 1991.

There are no weapons there; they are not needed. I can dominate by sheer force of will, as a young man (18) found out today -- and then I lightened up when he apologized to my staff for calling them nasty names. I was supposed to be intimidated when he said, "I'm going to get a f-----g lawyer" but I said, "Go ahead...and watch your language." He was also put off-balance when he said, "But what do I tell my friends?" and I replied immediately "That's not my problem." To get the full impact of this (which I admit was acting on my part) imagine trying explain to John Wayne, playing a Marine Corps Drill Instructor, why your rifle isn't yet white-glove clean.

As for my staff being stifled by me -- today they convinced me not to bar said young man from the building for six months, told me that we were going to get a new on-line service, and in general tell me to go to hell on regular basis (when they aren't doing something themselves and will let me know what was decided later. Remember, last July 13 I walked DOWNRANGE, unarmed, with six of my supervisors, armed with pistols, behind me.

They wouldn't have DARED....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 09:13 PM

Last summer he ran a library intern through with one of that forbidding collection of swords he keeps at the ready on a rack by the wall.

So that's what the industrial-sized heavy-duty paper shredder over in the corner of Rapaire's office is for! Dispatch 'em with the ol' epee an' feed 'em through the Shredomatic.


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