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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 31 Oct 08 - 11:21 AM
Acme 31 Oct 08 - 11:16 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 08 - 09:29 AM
MMario 31 Oct 08 - 09:26 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 08 - 09:18 AM
Amos 31 Oct 08 - 01:45 AM
catspaw49 31 Oct 08 - 01:00 AM
Acme 31 Oct 08 - 12:47 AM
Amos 30 Oct 08 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 10:00 PM
Amos 30 Oct 08 - 05:42 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 08 - 05:34 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 08 - 05:16 PM
Amos 30 Oct 08 - 05:14 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 05:07 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 08 - 05:01 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 04:54 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 08 - 03:53 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 03:39 PM
Amos 30 Oct 08 - 02:57 PM
Acme 30 Oct 08 - 02:54 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 02:36 PM
Acme 30 Oct 08 - 12:59 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 08 - 12:56 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 12:05 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 09:51 AM
Amos 30 Oct 08 - 01:14 AM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 11:19 PM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 11:14 PM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 11:11 PM
Little Hawk 29 Oct 08 - 08:51 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 08 - 06:39 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 06:20 PM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 05:27 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 08 - 03:45 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 02:09 PM
MMario 29 Oct 08 - 12:47 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 12:31 PM
Little Hawk 29 Oct 08 - 12:29 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 10:47 AM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 10:20 AM
Rapparee 29 Oct 08 - 09:05 AM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 01:34 AM
Rapparee 28 Oct 08 - 09:01 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 08 - 06:12 PM
Amos 28 Oct 08 - 04:58 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 08 - 04:25 PM
Amos 28 Oct 08 - 03:15 PM
Acme 28 Oct 08 - 03:11 PM
Amos 28 Oct 08 - 01:55 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 11:21 AM

I carved two pumpkins last night, the old fashioned way. They have great big eyes and scary gaping mouths, and chafing-dish candles inside, and they look brilliant in the dark.

I learned from a young friend (20-something) that these days what the young folks do is buy a kit, complete with tracing stencils for design and special little knives. A KIT!! For making Jack O'Lanterns??!!!! Here's my kit: one grease pencil or marker, one long kitchen knife, one small kitchen knife, one big spoon, one pumpkin, one candle.

STENCILS?? Draw your own magic, I sez. We don' need no steenkin' stencils.

Ptui!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 11:16 AM

I started working on a new spot of garden last weekend, but this afternoon I'll have to go tidy up lest one of the idiots parents of the trick-or-treaters decides to take a short-cut across the lawn and trip and fall. The kids usually seem better about staying on the path than the parents. I have to put the dogs in for the evening and turn off the side light to keep folks away from walking in that new flower bed (it will be lovely, daffodils, irises, and Janie's poppies).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 09:29 AM

Well, I was thinking of melting some caramels, impaling the road apples on a stick, and caramelizing them. I could sprinkle some sawdust or gravel on top as well to make it less appetizing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 09:26 AM

Rapaire - if you put the old dried up horse apples on a stick they would make good torches.

Of course some of the kids might think they were caramel apples....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 09:18 AM

THAT'S what I'll give the trick-or-treaters tonight! Dried up old road apples!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 01:45 AM

Still:

Similar, but different. An STD, once called "lues", a form of syphilis.

Spaw:

Welcome to MOAB, you dried up old road-apple.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 01:00 AM

So how goes it with Ol' Mom here? Y'all been doing a fine job carrying the old girl along with truth and loyalty and an unbelievable amount of unreal horsecrap and are to be congratulated.

I just spent awhile reading over the past months just for the hell of it as I am so damn bored with the Cafe at the moment I could scream. When Rap brought up his objections to all the political shinola it was just the same way I felt. Thanks Rap but now I fear it will go on for many more additional months ......................... ***sigh*** .........the old BS, she ain't what she used to be. I may have to go back to abusing Walksabout a while longer til this all passes.

But thanks for tonight's read! Here's to you all!!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 08 - 12:47 AM

Is that like the gypsy moth?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 11:23 PM

Lues, sirrah? May the congenital treponema pallidum spirochete finally surface in every branch of your family tree.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 10:00 PM

If a soft answer did not turn away wrath, I might respond that Amos is a blabberlips, a buttercup changling wrought by the pixie dust of Southern California, clap't out from the lues of all the sordid taverns of the Pacific isles, his brainpan softened by the gentle taps of too many saps in too many Shanghai dives, but I shall answer softly and simply remonstrate gently with him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:42 PM

Pshaw--I was addressing the Books guy...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:34 PM

Oh....nice lot of epithets there, Amos! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:16 PM

Realist.

Look, Chongo knows it's all over but the shouting. He never realistically expected to win this election, he just wanted to open the door, give apes and monkeys an equal voice in the national dialogue, and get the process started. One day you will see his face on Mount Rushmore as one of the true founding fathers of this country...and one day you will see a chimp in the Oval Office...but it won't be in 2009.

I'm thinkin' maybe by 2044.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:14 PM

Evader!! Pneumatic-powered impact terpsichorean! NArcissistic minicephalic disingenuous circumloquacious meretricious rhetorician!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:07 PM

Naysayer! Defeatist!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 05:01 PM

Of course! What I meant is, he's not going to win the election.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 04:54 PM

"Man" is as much a primate as a Chimpanzee. Is Chongo not a "man" and a brother?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 03:53 PM

Ah. So that means you didn't vote for Chongo then. You miserable Quisling!

;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 03:39 PM

1. I kinda fibbed about the high school graduation date.

2. Amos, I voted for the man who will be the next President of the United States, including Idaho and San Diego.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 02:57 PM

But, sir, did you vote for John McCain?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 02:54 PM

She has an MBA but graduated from high school last year? What kind of fast track is that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 02:36 PM

Well, actually, Karen is a seasoned professional in broadcast journalism. She defeated the incumbent in the primary by capturing 57% of the vote and I really think she's going to win. She's a very capable woman and would be a good County Commissioner. If memory serves me aright she has an MBA.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 12:59 PM

She deals in bone density, no doubt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 12:56 PM

Well...experience counts for a lot, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 12:05 PM

I've voted, Mom. There were a lot of people there, too. I've also been flu shotted, blood tested, and my bone density (measured at my right ankle, not my head) is 114% when compared to a young adult.

Mom, I hope you don't mind that I voted a split ticket, but some of the other side who were running were a LOT better than the other. I mean let's face it, Mom, Karen is young and "hot" and so would make a good County Commissioner and here opponent is a sour-faced old guy. Oh, sure, the old guy had two PhDs and forty years experience in public service and Karen graduated from high school last year, but she IS experienced, if you get my drift Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 09:51 AM

There's always MIT.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 01:14 AM

Belief is a funny thing--it lowers its standards on the slightest whim or suggestion something might be so.,


Just a whiff of evidence, a shallow coincidence of persuasions, and BAM!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 11:19 PM

Some of those sites are pretty bizarre. Very bizarre. Bizarre beyond belief.

Ouch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 11:14 PM

This one in particular should clarify things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 11:11 PM

Nipple tassle search on Google images.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 08:51 PM

Also, "the Breasts of Sheba"...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 06:39 PM

And let's not forget the Grand Tetons!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 06:20 PM

How big would a tassel of that scale have to bew--like an Amazon rain-forest size tassel? A Sahara-scale pastie? I dunno--American ingenuity can only go so far...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 05:27 PM

Under a pastie, of course. Not the pie type, the sticker type. And sometimes they have tassles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 03:45 PM

There's a place near here with the name "Mary's Nipple."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 02:09 PM

about it--the entire globe can be exposed and you can pretty much get away with it in many venues--as long as the - gasp! - nipple doesn't show. Meaning that while the entire breast may be what is called a "tit," it is still the nipple that is the most important (and importuned) portion of it.

Not to linger too long on one point, so to speak, but if the entire globe is exposed, but not the nipple...where IS the darned thing? Mount Everest, garbed in gauzy storm-clouds? The Delta, hidden under a hurricane? Perhaps the Seattle Needle, wrapped in a rainy fogbank? Enquiring Braille students want to know...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 12:47 PM

hence the more common meaning today of "major identifying marks/characteristics"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 12:31 PM

Nope. Earmarks are what get cut into the earflaps of hogs for identification purposes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 12:29 PM

Earmarks are what happens when you're a snooper who listens outside people's doors. Surely you are not accusing Rapaire of that? Don't forget, he is a candidate for Vice President of the USA...and such people are simply beyond criticism, don't you know? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 10:47 AM

Now I KNOW you're a Republican--disdain for beauty, cold indifference to life--all the earmarks!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 10:20 AM

The beach is pretty, and if you drive straight east over the mountains the desert is also pretty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 09:05 AM

Apart from my nephew graduating from the USMC and sponging off visiting Amos, is there any good reason to visit San Diego? I intend to spare the city and area when my plans to saw off the LA area and give it a shove towards Easter Island reach fruition, but that's because of the Zoo.

By the way, if you'd like to volunteer your time and chain saw....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 01:34 AM

Jeeze, Rapaire, if you were in town visiting this asshole you at least could have dropped my place, too!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:01 PM

Yes, I have some swords and guns. Nothing bigger than a .54 caliber though, and that's a flintlock that's a-building. Well, if you discount the two shotguns, but they're not measured in caliber but in gauge.

Now, I happen to know that Some Who Live In San Diego and who does sea kayaking (but who will otherwise remain nameless here) has a quad-50 in his backyard mounted on an M113 armored personnel carrier; a 105mm howitzer "for duck hunting"; an interesting collection of explosive ordnance, including but not in the least limited to naval mines, and other and sundry devices obtained by fair means or foul from international arms dealers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 06:12 PM

Oh hell, Amos. You know damned good and well that "here" rarely appears here.

And as for military machinery -- I'M not the guy with naval mines stashed in my backyard "just in case THEY try to invade San Diego!".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 04:58 PM

Oh, so sayest thou, varlet, thou lover of Large Guns and Swords and Military MAchinery, thou hard-hided poltroon!!!

If you knew how I really felt you would admire my genteel self-restraint, my politesse, my sense of noble expression and finely-turned phrase, my gentrified mien, and all things fine about my contributions here.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 04:25 PM

Gentility
And noblesse oblige
Do not appear
Here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 03:15 PM

Definitions of teat on the Web:

The nipple of an animal
www.bestfriendspetcare.com/dog_glossary/dog-terms-T.cfm

Same as "Tit."
sdrc.lib.uiowa.edu/eng/bridges/WaddellGlossary/GlossT.htm

nipple: the small projection of a mammary gland
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Teat is an alternative word for the nipple of a mammary gland, in humans referred to as a breast, from which milk is discharged. Similarly in cows, goats, etc., it is the projection from the udder through which milk is discharged.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teat

The projection of a mammary gland from which, on female mammals, milk is secreted; An artificial nipple used for bottle-feeding infants
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/teat

Definitions of tit on the Web:

breast: either of two soft fleshy milk-secreting glandular organs on the chest of a woman
nipple: the small projection of a mammary gland
titmouse: small insectivorous birds
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

The tits, chickadees, and titmice comprise Paridae, a large family of small passerine birds which occur in the northern hemisphere and Africa. Most were formerly in the genus Parus.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tit (bird)

A mammary gland, teat; A woman's breast; An idiot; a fool
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tit

Thus, given that Little Hawk has named himself a small passerine bird, and that he indulges in pure folly at times, not to say idiocy, we have clear evidence that his desire to BEcome One with a Higher Order of Goodness has been finally realized, at least semantically.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 03:11 PM

It may be, LH, but when you think about it--the entire globe can be exposed and you can pretty much get away with it in many venues--as long as the - gasp! - nipple doesn't show. Meaning that while the entire breast may be what is called a "tit," it is still the nipple that is the most important (and importuned) portion of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 01:55 PM

But for a consolation prize, you can win the chance to pay for two free tickets from San Diego to Hawaii for Amos, and talk to him long distance!! To win, just name the secret nicknames of the highest three pimples on Rapaire's butt. (You are not qualified to enter if you have been intimate with Rapaire in any of the last three lifetimes).


A


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