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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 17 Aug 08 - 02:12 PM
Little Hawk 17 Aug 08 - 02:05 PM
Acme 17 Aug 08 - 12:53 PM
Amos 17 Aug 08 - 11:56 AM
Amos 17 Aug 08 - 10:58 AM
Rapparee 17 Aug 08 - 10:25 AM
Amos 17 Aug 08 - 08:53 AM
Acme 17 Aug 08 - 12:46 AM
Amos 16 Aug 08 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 16 Aug 08 - 10:17 PM
Little Hawk 16 Aug 08 - 09:58 PM
Rapparee 16 Aug 08 - 09:36 PM
Amos 16 Aug 08 - 09:00 PM
Little Hawk 16 Aug 08 - 06:56 PM
Acme 16 Aug 08 - 06:35 PM
Rapparee 16 Aug 08 - 06:06 PM
Little Hawk 16 Aug 08 - 04:09 PM
Little Hawk 16 Aug 08 - 01:30 PM
Amos 16 Aug 08 - 12:48 PM
Little Hawk 16 Aug 08 - 12:34 PM
Acme 16 Aug 08 - 12:13 PM
Rapparee 16 Aug 08 - 11:07 AM
Amos 15 Aug 08 - 10:42 PM
Rapparee 15 Aug 08 - 09:16 PM
Donuel 15 Aug 08 - 09:12 PM
Donuel 15 Aug 08 - 09:10 PM
Little Hawk 15 Aug 08 - 08:57 PM
Rapparee 15 Aug 08 - 08:56 PM
Amos 15 Aug 08 - 04:51 PM
Amos 15 Aug 08 - 01:21 PM
Rapparee 15 Aug 08 - 01:02 PM
Little Hawk 15 Aug 08 - 12:36 PM
Rapparee 15 Aug 08 - 12:04 PM
MMario 15 Aug 08 - 11:31 AM
Amos 15 Aug 08 - 10:56 AM
Acme 15 Aug 08 - 10:44 AM
Amos 15 Aug 08 - 10:36 AM
Amos 15 Aug 08 - 10:25 AM
Acme 15 Aug 08 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 15 Aug 08 - 09:00 AM
Rapparee 14 Aug 08 - 10:04 PM
Acme 14 Aug 08 - 08:41 PM
Donuel 14 Aug 08 - 07:48 PM
Amos 14 Aug 08 - 06:32 PM
Rapparee 14 Aug 08 - 05:55 PM
Acme 14 Aug 08 - 05:30 PM
Rapparee 14 Aug 08 - 05:04 PM
Amos 14 Aug 08 - 01:27 PM
Rapparee 14 Aug 08 - 12:47 PM
Amos 14 Aug 08 - 11:41 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 02:12 PM

It never ceases to amaze me how dictatorial and puffed up some people get when they imagine themselves imbued with authority.

Little Hawk, I think your idea for Khando is a fine one, but I suppose you are just as capable of implementing it as I am, unless you are sorely pressed with a great load of urgent executive responsibilities from your undreamed of heights of power?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 02:05 PM

Okay, I've got it. I have reached a final decision on who gets the 25,000th post on the MOABS, and it is an irrevocable decision.

Are you ready?










You sure?












Here it comes....








Okay. Now I know what you're all thinking. You're thinking "William Shatner", aren't you? He would seem like the natural choice, after all.

Well, it's not Shatner! No. He's too busy right now. Ha! Had you fooled, didn't I?

No, it's not Shatner who must have the 25,000th post on this thread.

So who could it be???????



Well, I'll tell you who it could be and who it MUST be.

King Khandu, that's who.

Long, long ago in a time and place far, far away King Khandu, the King of Mississipi, launched this historic thread. (all pause for a moment of worshipful silence) He launched it with these deathless words:

Another brainstorm of mine, inspired by Tweed, Spaw, Carol the Sailor and their ilk.

We can save time which we spend searching through all the BS threads very easily. Henceforth, post all BS here in this thread. Soon there will be only one BS thread. We won't have to look for particular threads as this will be the only one and it will contain all the BS we have to offer.

My Gawd!! Why has this not been thought of earlier? It is so obvious!

I swear, sometimes I even amaze myself!

Once again, for those of you who are slow in understanding...hear me, Tweed! Post all BS in this thread from now on!

Pene Azul and Joe Offer will thank me for making their job so much easier! My fellow 'Catters will also thank me when they realize the time my idea will save them! Maybe this will finally get me the coveted "Time/Life Man of the Year"!!

I swear, sometimes I even blow my own mind!!

King khandu"


It can only be right that King Khandu, the inventor and founder of this might thread, be the one to inaugurate the upcoming milestone of the 25,000th post.

It has be him. It cannot be another. Someone must contact King Khandu, and ensure that he is here for the 25,000th post. Amos? Can you do that?

As for Rapaire posting that post...ha! The idea is laughable. It can only be King Khandu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 12:53 PM

Will you design a non-entropy trophy for the 25,000 post?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 11:56 AM

And, I would add, it should be obvious even to the casual reader such as yourself, of these hallowed halls, that BS--like all true creative acts -- is not subject to any law of entropic decline but is instead the essence that steers systems to MORE order, MORE beauty, MORE new and wonderful forms -- in short, the very opposite of entropy.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 10:58 AM

You sir, are an arrogant good-for-nothing. These good Sons and Daughters of MOAB have strived long and hard to create this milestone, not for the glory of you, but for the pride in Mom which is their light. You should b e ashamed, sir, ashamed, for seeking to turn this dedication into personal aggrandizement, and for raising yourself up at their expense onto such an unworthy, uncivil, hollow pedestal.

Study true virtue, sir, and learn.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 10:25 AM

After I am granted number 25,000 I see no reason why we cannot strive for 50 or ever 100 thousand.

I will thank all of you little people for helping me achieve these numbers in my acceptance speeches.

You're welcome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 08:53 AM

It isn't very far away,
The glimmering 25 of K;
I'm sure that 90 posts will squeak
Across this line sometime this week.
And as we cross the finish pole
And reach that star-high, noble goal
What then becomes of our mighty team,
Who strove so long to reach their dream?
Will this release Mom's agile slaves?
Retire Mom to a well-earned grave?
Or will this thread, like all the rest,
Go on and on, to More BS?
Dreams and ambitions, grand and wide
Have driven us all, from deep inside;
What will you do, to start anew,
When the 25 of K comes through?

Penny Whistler Irritant
A Time to Ponder
Trivial Publications and Puzzlers, Hartford 1956


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 12:46 AM

I'm sure someone already put dibs on it. Probably several someones. We need to know who was the first to dibs it. An easy task, certainly, LH. Open the entire thread in one window then search on "25,000" with the browser "find" feature. How many hits could there be?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 10:37 PM

Sigh.

If you gentlemen could concentrate on the required Quality for the event, instead of puerile quibbles about the STatus and Favour thereof, Mom would be MUCH more proud of you.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 10:17 PM

Not to worry, mon vieux. Mom said I, her Most Favored One, was it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 09:58 PM

You really want me to pick someone worthy of the 25,000th post, Stilly? ;-) You confer this awesome responsibility on me?

I'm flattered. Give me a day or so to look into the matter, and I shall make a decision.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 09:36 PM

Monsieur Ack, hein?

Don't you mean "Monsieur Ack's heiny", as in "derriere"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 09:00 PM

Not much of a gentleman, Monsieur 'Ack, hein???

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 06:56 PM

Yeah. Oh, I've been dying to do just that, Stilly. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 06:35 PM

Little Hawk, do us a favor please. To keep this orderly, will you read through the entire thread and tell us who has first dibs on the 25,000th post? Thanks!

We don't want any blood spilled.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 06:06 PM

How very nice for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 04:09 PM

By the way, I just got the 24,900th post.

Eat your heart out, Amos. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 01:30 PM

The notorious Gang of Three, assisted by their lesser known confederate, MMario, have attempted to hijack a vast area of Mudcat bandwidth, but the people are not fooled. These miscreants will be forced to recant before the entire People's Assembly and mend their counterrevolutionary ways once and for all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 12:48 PM

Which three? Shatner, Gluon, and Shane? Those dirty running dogs, ducks or figments!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 12:34 PM

Meanwhile further evidence is being collected to bring against the Gang of Three in the People's Court...evidence that will prove egregious waste of bandwidth and gross offences to the sensibilities of those who toil in the fields.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 12:13 PM

Therefore, total randomization is totally non-random.

24897

Nothing random about that! And in 103, the unrandom MOAB will hit 25K.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 11:07 AM

You're saying...that BS...violates the Law of Entropy???? That means that it either becomes less random over time OR that it's already as randomized as possible. And in order for it be achieve the first option it must then start as the second, and when it achieves the first it becomes the second!

Therefore, total randomization is totally non-random.

I think I've proved the existence of God or something, but I'm not sure what.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 10:42 PM

BS is anti-entropic, silly. That's why Gluon hangs around here--he wants to command the quarks into line, like he does with all the others, but in the BS family even the hadrons don't give him no respeck.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 09:16 PM

Which brings us to a discussion of the compressibility of bullshit. Since everything attracts everything else, can bullshit be compressed to the point it becomes, so to speak, a brown hole? Will the Big Sucking Sound be all matter being sucked into a brown hole? And will the "Big Bang" that results be, in actuality, the "Big Grunt"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 09:12 PM

50ft inflatable dog turd downs power lines.
http://newsblaze.com/story/20080812135009reye.nb/topstory.html


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Subject: OBIT Mrs. Fields
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 09:10 PM

Mrs. Fields filed for cahpter 11 today.
RIP


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 08:57 PM

That's sort of how Olive Whatnoll says it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 08:56 PM

What number is "eighy-eight"? Or have you dropped your tea into San Diego Harbor in some sort of protest?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 04:51 PM

THAT, by the effin' way, was TWENTY-FOUR-EIGHT-EIGHY-EIGHT. How ya like them apples?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 01:21 PM

What--the Audobon SOciety intervenes in cases of excessive UGLINESS? I swan!!! I never knew they were such controlling characters.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 01:02 PM

I replied on your other thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 12:36 PM

Hey! I just spotted a Midwestern Jadrool in my garden. What a frikkin' UGLY bird. Yech.

Alert the Audobon Society at once.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 12:04 PM

It originally was called Moose Poop, but the folks who market it don't think the original name would make it a big seller.

Actually it contains fudge, not chocolate chips.

You can learn more at www.moosetracks.com.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 11:31 AM

Moose droppings has raisens as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 10:56 AM

Huh!!! Sounds fattening, all right. Imagining what it must look like, I wonder it isn't called Moose Droppings.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 10:44 AM

Chocolate ice cream with chunks of chocolate and peanut butter cups all mixed in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 10:36 AM

'Splain Moose Tracks????


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 10:25 AM

DOnuel:

Meditate on the difference between division and subtraction. M/M=1, and M-M=0.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 10:04 AM

That's it, Moose Tracks! Chocolate (not vanilla) with all of the stuff in it. Mmmmm!

It's fattening.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 09:00 AM

Poor Mom. Everyone went out for ice cream and didn't bring you any.

Here's a big, big bowl of Moose Tracks. I poured caramel all over it, just as you like it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 10:04 PM

Thanks, I just had a vanilla/caramel Drumstick.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 08:41 PM

I don't know, but now I have ice cream on the brain. I had better to make a run to the store to put ice cream on the palate instead.

I'll do a couple of other errands while I'm out there, to make the gas go farther. I'll get some of that vanilla with chocolate and peanut butter cups, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 07:48 PM

The National Enquirer broke the drug addiction story of Rush Limbaugh and his Ocycontin ring.


e= mc2   so with algebra we can isolate C2 by dividing both sides...
e/c2= M
now we do the same for mass...

e/c2
_____ = 0

M


WHOA I JUST ANNIHILATED THE UNIVERSE !!!!

quick how do I fix it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 06:32 PM

Rapaire, you're butting bullshit in my mouth. Try ice cream.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 05:55 PM

Ice cream has mass, mass is another form of energy, energy is bullshit, therefor ice cream is bullshit (according to Amos).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 05:30 PM

Let's take the topic back to ice cream. Much easier to discuss. What is your favorite form or flavor?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 05:04 PM

But then you violate e=mc^2, don't you? After all, if e=mc^2, then m=e/c^2 or, to put it another way, if e=bs, then bs=mc^2.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 01:27 PM

I dunno. If apparent time is unidirectional, than t1=>t2 cannot equal t2=>t1; and it is perfectly conceivable that "energy=bullshit" is similarly irreversible, and should be written E=> B. Oversimplified, it would translate as "if energy, then BS", or more accurately "the existence of energy in any part of a continuum implies the necessary existencer of BS in that continuum."



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 12:47 PM

The reverse would then also be true, just as mass can be turned into energy and energy into mass. And if bullshit=energy and vicey-versy, then QED: bullshit=mass and mass=bullshit.

I'm too tired to publish the revision of Einstein's equations necessary to demonstrate this mathematically.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 11:41 AM

I didn't know the baked Alaska Pipeline had been routed through Dublin!! Most unusual. I suppose it has somethign to do with the proclivity of the Irish for getting well-oiled.

I have a proposition for debate here on MOAB, as nowhere else would it have any comprehensible context.

Resolved: Energy is Bullshit.


Discuss.


A


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