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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 12 Apr 08 - 08:11 PM
Amos 12 Apr 08 - 03:16 PM
Acme 12 Apr 08 - 03:11 PM
Amos 12 Apr 08 - 02:22 PM
Acme 12 Apr 08 - 12:43 PM
Amos 12 Apr 08 - 12:21 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 08 - 11:24 AM
Acme 12 Apr 08 - 10:37 AM
Amos 12 Apr 08 - 04:40 AM
Acme 11 Apr 08 - 03:33 PM
Amos 11 Apr 08 - 03:27 PM
Rapparee 11 Apr 08 - 03:10 PM
Amos 11 Apr 08 - 01:48 PM
Rapparee 11 Apr 08 - 01:19 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 08 - 01:12 PM
Amos 11 Apr 08 - 11:30 AM
Amos 11 Apr 08 - 11:09 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 08 - 08:43 PM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 08:15 PM
Acme 10 Apr 08 - 07:57 PM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 07:40 PM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 07:06 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 08 - 06:56 PM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 05:19 PM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 02:58 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 08 - 02:42 PM
Acme 10 Apr 08 - 11:05 AM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 10:25 AM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 08 - 09:50 AM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 12:31 AM
Acme 10 Apr 08 - 12:26 AM
Amos 10 Apr 08 - 12:23 AM
Acme 09 Apr 08 - 11:04 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 08 - 10:01 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 08 - 06:47 PM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 08 - 06:34 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 08 - 03:57 PM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 08 - 01:02 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 08 - 12:42 PM
Acme 09 Apr 08 - 12:02 PM
Amos 09 Apr 08 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 09 Apr 08 - 09:49 AM
Amos 09 Apr 08 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 09 Apr 08 - 09:30 AM
MMario 09 Apr 08 - 09:00 AM
Amos 09 Apr 08 - 08:49 AM
MMario 09 Apr 08 - 08:25 AM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 08 - 02:47 AM
Acme 09 Apr 08 - 12:26 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 08:11 PM

Mom, I'm pooped. I finished digging out the pole for the basketball hoop. You know how narrow and deep you dig the hole to put the sucker in with a few bags of concrete? It's the opposite, a open pit operation to get it back out again. And once you've dislodged it, if you're by yourself, you have to fill the hole back and rock it around in different directions to finally get that 1000 pounds of concrete out of the hole. At least it rolled down the driveway easily. I hope if anyone does take it (that'll be a trick) they don't knock down my little pine that's nearby.

Maybe I should put a sledgehammer with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 03:16 PM

YEs, sometimes my tongue creeps into my cheek without telling me. Naughty organ.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 03:11 PM

"Back on the subject."

That's a good one Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 02:22 PM

Back on the subject, "eldritch" is defined in the American Heritage as Strange or unearthly. I don't think there is any question that Rapaire's rich store of knowledge (or at least data) is strange. But I would suggest you might want to think twice before admitting to the unearthly part. Not even Book-Man can calm the savage breast when earthlings start to believe they are being served by extra-terrestrial forces...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 12:43 PM

I have to go outside for some fresh air after that one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 12:21 PM

Jeeze, Rapaire, I think you just lowered our chances. Why'd you have to go so far to fetch that one??? :D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 11:24 AM

We could all discuss GWB's plan for peace between the Palestinians and Israel. You know: Zion's friction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 10:37 AM

Has anyone seen any publishing companies nosing around, wanting to put MOM into print? I hear about blogs being transmogrified. Certainly MOAB is due such consideration, what with the clever blend of poetry, prose, and science fiction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 04:40 AM

A good beknight to you alle was hee,
With courtly aire
Bestride his steede, beside yee seee,
Yclept Rapaire.
With ale this knight was allus free,
With honour, tight
And so renowned his wyse wordes,
And so, benight.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 03:33 PM

Now all we need is a figgy pudding on horseback for this benighted knight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 03:27 PM

You're obviously an expert at how to beknighted be.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 03:10 PM

Neither. He disappeared into the obscurity due anyone with the first name of "Isaac." Oh, he made a flash in the pan and got himself knighted, but heck, anybody can get knighted these days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 01:48 PM

Did he wax? Or wayne?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 01:19 PM

By the way, I later learned that Zack's surname was "Newton." No relation to the famous Fig, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 01:12 PM

Great story, Rapaire. I believe you, man. I always knew Shane was lying when he said that he had that idea first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 11:30 AM

AT 23,111, the MOAB's running free;
And now my fate has become clear,
So awfully clear, to me.
I must not rest, nor close my eyes
Nor leave the room for tea;
But keep my posting blade aloft,
And snickering "snacker-snee!",
'Til I have built JErusalem's post
At two-three-three-three-three!

Anny Juanfere Slappen-Tyckle
Memories of Things to Come
Bosworth on Thyme, 1865


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 11:09 AM

Thanks, Rapaire. That makes it easier to take. I really enjoyed your story. And I really, really would like to believe it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 08:43 PM

Well, I guess I'll tell what I remember about that evening then.

Steve and me went out to have a single, simple, pint. We're sitting in the pub, quietly discussing the possibility of a weak and strong gravitational force comparable to those nuclear force, when Zack came in. Now, Zack thinks he's a hotshot physicist and mathematician, only those who know him know damned good and well that he's not. He published a couple of articles, yeah, but nothing good, if you follow me.

Anyway, Zack invites himself to our table and starts talking about this new theory of his, that gravity instead of energy is the flip side of mass no matter what Einstein said. Pretty soon, about three pints in, he starts saying that OF COURSE we can know both location and speed of particles because "Heisenberg was a twit." That got Steve pretty riled up and he was about three pints ahead of Zack, so Steve says Zack is so full of shit his eyes are brown, the Uncertainty Principle is basic. Zack throws a glass of bitters into Steve's face and the row was on.

Next thing I know Steve and me are sitting in a cell in the Cambridge Gaol and Zack is next door, screaming that Bohr was wrong, Einstein was an idiot, and only HE knew squat about quantum mechanics. I turned to Steve and said, "Shit, man, that cat's so dense that if he was a hole light couldn't escape."

Steve got this funny look in his eye, grabbed the roll of toilet paper and a pencil and started writing equations and things.

We were released on our own recognizance an hour later, Zack was remanded and eventually served 90 days, and Steve went on to publish what I started him thinking about.

The rest, as they say, is history.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 08:15 PM

I know, I know. But, driving two plus hours each way for an evening event in the middle of the woik week is just not a good idea anymore.

If I were your age, I would have done it! :D Or even young Rapaire's age!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 07:57 PM

Awww, too bad, Amos. It would have been fun!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 07:40 PM

But I did pass your message on and he said to tell you "Brnxxqrr ftmranx!"


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 07:06 PM

New Developments: I am NOT going to hear STeven Hawking to night.

For good and sufficient reason.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 06:56 PM

Telll Steve I said "Hi" and ask if he can remember that night we had in the Cambridge pubs yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 05:19 PM

Hey Moim!!! Guess What???

STEVEN HAWKING is speaking in Pasadena tonight at the Cal Tech campus about two hours from here. I yam GOING. "Out of a Black Hole".

(It's free).

Once in a lifetime, man!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 02:58 PM

IS "eldritch knowedge" a kind of carnal knowledge but with some species of trees? Couldn't you catch some kind of Elm Disease or something?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 02:42 PM

Arcane and eldritch knowledge is the only kind of knowledge really worth having. Well, that and knowing when to stop scratching, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 11:05 AM

Tidy landing on that round number, Amos!

Heavy rains and wind last night (again) messed the place up some. Signs blown out of their flourescent housings, branches down, chairs on the patio tipped over. GFIC switches tripped in the house.

It's still overcast, so MOM, you stay in the house today. Let it dry out a little before you resume hanging out in the porch swing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 10:25 AM

Now the good times are begun;
23 K, and hundreds 1.
Let this teach you strong endurance,
Dull intent and perseverance!
Soon this lesson will prove true,
Bringing twenty-three and two!
And on an even later day,
Leading to 24 of K!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 09:56 AM

I wouldn't mind waking you up, except I am enjoying your REM dreams.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 09:50 AM

Well, whenever I run into dogs or anything else that's liable to "tear the hide off" me I just turn myself inside out and then my hide is protected. It's not at all difficult to do: just reach in your mouth all the way down until you can grab the inside of your toes and pull upwards.

It's a trick I learned during my stay in a Lllamasary in the fog-bound mountains of a forbidden Oriental country, to which I was admitted because of my knowledge of arcane and eldritch knowledge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 12:31 AM

There' s an example, right there! Shoulda hidden his hide.

I was gonna copyright "We have nothing to hide but hide itself", but Jekyll threatened me with a lawsuit.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 12:26 AM

Did I tell you about the time they ripped a wild Nauga to pieces? Wasn't enough of that creature left to upholster a pin cushion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 12:23 AM

I have always believed that we have nothing to hide but Hyde himself.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 11:04 PM

My dogs would play that game, but have Jekyll and Hyde personalities. If they're introduced by me to the visitors, they're Ms Heckle and Jekyll, but if someone comes onto the property without permission, they're liable to want to tear the Hyde off of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 10:01 PM

We try to get them to leave their money first, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 06:47 PM

Yes, I know. We lose more tourists here that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 06:34 PM

It's all about territory, Rapaire. People should know enough not to trespass during full moon, but some just don't get it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 03:57 PM

Lycanthropy is a pretty hairy topic, LH. Some people have notions that they'll defend tooth and claw, while others would give the moon to understand it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 01:02 PM

Lycanthropy - don't knock it till you've tried it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 12:42 PM

Irises and tulips are sprung up in the front yard. The backyard still has snow, and there's more predicted. However, my front yard light has been repaired (it died last November but Weather Prohibited) and this time was done correctly. Once again a brave little light illuminates the way into my driveway! Hurrah for the brave little light!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 12:02 PM

Leo, we're full into spring, the irises are up--so of course we had high winds and hail last night. That nickle-sized hail is hard on my charismatic iris flowers.

The golf- and baseball sized hail in Arlington apparently pounded a lot of cars on campus, broken windows and dents abound. Saw it on the news this morning. Me, I'm working on repairing an invitation snafu (we missed a wrong date even though several of us proofed this thing, but it is my job to fix it. Too bad they already went out in the mail on Monday morning.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 09:56 AM

Right! I knew you would understand!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 09:49 AM

Oh, that happened to my little brother once and he ended up in the Air Farce as a result of it. It was horrible when it happened, what with the blood and guts and feathers and scales all over, but we got the mess cleaned up and you can hardly see the holes anymore. And except for the fits he's usually alright unless he does something to trigger the lycopathic hirsutism, like drink water or move.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 09:38 AM

I wish you luck in your search, of the sort that finds a one-pood kettlebell seeking to merge identities with your calcaneus dexter and proximate sesamoids, at approximatly 14 m/sec.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 09:30 AM

And they're smart, like the one in Germany who has fallen in love with a swan-shaped paddle boat. Boy oh boy, that's one smart bird, I'll tell ya.

What few catalog cards we have left (we've been automated since 1982, ferchrissakes, I've said should be kept as historical artifacts. What'd I'd like are a couple of the old hand-written ones, but we don't have any of those. We did find a 5.25 inch diskette, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 09:00 AM

Swans are very smart birds - sure, they have a reputation for being vain, egotistical and mindless, but consider what they looked like as adolescents; any that survive to adulthood have mastered true serenity and wisdom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 08:49 AM

Swans know that?

Are you sure?

I always had the impression they were still sorting things out, in their wee swannish heads.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 08:25 AM

Morning MOM! It's SPRING! temps above 50 for five days in a row now, garden cleanup started, and there was a migratory Swan on one of the ponds today. Geese don't count - they do more east-west flying around here then you can shake a stick at, but the SWANS know what's what.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 02:47 AM

I had a girlfriend who deep down had one core belief. "Nothing works OUT!"

And nothing did. I mean absolutely nothing. Her belief was the most painfully effective self-fulfilling prophecy I have ever seen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 12:26 AM

Gestalt, phooey. He did what Julie at my library does, she has a stack of old card catalog cards, no particular order, that she draws from when she needs to make notes. Her notes to me arrive on the backs of cards. In no particular order. Thus, falling asleep on your stack of note cards WILL allow you to channel this material as you represented it.


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