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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 12 Jan 08 - 12:56 PM
Acme 12 Jan 08 - 12:39 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jan 08 - 12:02 PM
Amos 12 Jan 08 - 11:34 AM
Rapparee 12 Jan 08 - 11:17 AM
Amos 12 Jan 08 - 09:22 AM
Acme 12 Jan 08 - 01:58 AM
Acme 12 Jan 08 - 01:47 AM
Little Hawk 12 Jan 08 - 12:57 AM
Amos 12 Jan 08 - 12:11 AM
Rapparee 11 Jan 08 - 10:14 PM
Janie 11 Jan 08 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 08 - 08:47 PM
Amos 11 Jan 08 - 07:54 PM
Janie 11 Jan 08 - 06:31 PM
Amos 11 Jan 08 - 04:22 PM
Amos 11 Jan 08 - 03:12 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 08 - 02:35 PM
Amos 11 Jan 08 - 01:23 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 08 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 08 - 09:01 AM
MMario 11 Jan 08 - 08:36 AM
Acme 11 Jan 08 - 12:28 AM
Amos 10 Jan 08 - 11:13 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 08 - 09:34 PM
Amos 10 Jan 08 - 06:52 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 08 - 06:41 PM
Acme 10 Jan 08 - 05:35 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 08 - 05:12 PM
Amos 10 Jan 08 - 04:49 PM
Amos 10 Jan 08 - 04:41 PM
Little Hawk 10 Jan 08 - 04:29 PM
Amos 10 Jan 08 - 04:09 PM
MMario 10 Jan 08 - 03:36 PM
Acme 10 Jan 08 - 03:30 PM
Amos 10 Jan 08 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 08 - 12:06 PM
Amos 10 Jan 08 - 11:08 AM
MMario 10 Jan 08 - 11:00 AM
Acme 10 Jan 08 - 10:40 AM
Amos 10 Jan 08 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 10 Jan 08 - 08:49 AM
Acme 10 Jan 08 - 01:23 AM
Amos 09 Jan 08 - 09:49 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 08 - 09:26 PM
Amos 09 Jan 08 - 07:31 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 08 - 05:32 PM
Amos 09 Jan 08 - 02:05 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 08 - 02:01 PM
Amos 09 Jan 08 - 01:40 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 08 - 12:56 PM

"the positioning of the bed is unfortunately right under the vent and I hate having the heat or the AC flow directly onto me."

Me too! And you know why? The air from heating ducts/registers and AC units is chock full of positive ions, and they are extremely depressing to the human system. AC is the worst for that.

Negative ions can be found outdoors, specially on sunny days of high pressure weather, or right after a thunderstorm, or next to a fountain, or by a body of flowing water or by the surf on a large body of water. That's partly why it feels so great to be in those environments.

The indoor air in most buildings is very depleted of negative ions, but especially the air around heating vents and AC units. Shopping malls often have extremely bad air, partly because of all the chemical vapors that are venting off the various new plastics products in the stores.

"Air to die for!" should be their motto.

I worked in such a place (an electronis store in a mall) once for about 5 months, and I was sick from about the 2nd week on the job right through until I finally quit the job! An endless series of lung, throat, and breathing problems. I was beginning to think I had AIDS or something. Well, I quit the job and was perfectly well again within a week of leaving, and I didn't get another such cold or lung infection thereafter for about the next five years, and very seldom ever have since.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jan 08 - 12:39 PM

You should know, though, that it is a great indoors workout, moving heavy pieces of furniture, and it is an exercise that has been demonstrated to produce lots of beneficial endorphins. And the room looks great. I do have to get one of those plastic vent thingies that redirects the air flow some--the positioning of the bed is unfortunately right under the vent and I hate having the heat or the AC flow directly onto me. I've had the bed on the other side of the room for several years for this very reason. But I've used those plastic (and magnet) thingies before and they do the job. I just have to find one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 08 - 12:02 PM

"Little Hawk: why do you pretend to be arrogant, abrasive, rude, crude and insensitive, pushy, obnoxious, and completely below the salt?"


LOL!!!!   

Because it's fun to do that among friends who already know me well...that's why, Amos.

I invented Chongo for the same reason. His brash and aggressive nature is so unlike my own that I find it refreshing in a way...

Stilly, I think this habit that women have of periodically rearranging all the furniture in a room is one of the most perplexing and disturbing foibles of the female gender. It's maddening! Still, they have so many other good points in their favor that I find it fairly easy to overlook that flaw.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 08 - 11:34 AM

AMazing how a good knock on the forehead can settle your bladder!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 08 - 11:17 AM

Is he usually worse or something?

Pat and I once pulled into my in-laws house around 2 a.m. after a long drive there from Ohio. Went straight to bed, me on the left side and her on the right, reversing our places at home. Around 3 had to go, so I got up and walked straight into the wall. Decided I didn't have to go all that badly, turned around and went back to bed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 08 - 09:22 AM

LED Nightlights Are Your Friend, Mag!!

Little Hawk: why do you pretend to be arrogant, abrasive, rude, crude and insensitive, pushy, obnoxious, and completely below the salt? We know you're not really usually like that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jan 08 - 01:58 AM

(Setting aside the fact that I am unfamiliar with this arrangement and am in danger of stubbing my own toes. But the last arrangement, set up about a week ago, was so confusing that one night I awoke and as I tried to get oriented scooted off the bed and ended up sitting on top of my cedar chest at the foot of the bed because I couldn't figure out what direction the door was. Rearranging furniture is not something to attempt lightly!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jan 08 - 01:47 AM

I rearranged the furniture in my bedroom this evening. If it were a place that you were familiar with, George, you might be in danger of stubbing your toes if you, er, got up to go in the dark. . . but since you're not familiar with it, dream on.

Interesting enough?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 08 - 12:57 AM

Look, people, you are failing to sustain my interest here.

You can do better than this. Way better.

I expect to open this thread tomorrow and see something absolutely fascinating, so get to it. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 08 - 12:11 AM

Well, it has life in it you see....that may make some difference.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 10:14 PM

Lemme get this straight: you're thinking of sending a potato to Idaho??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 09:55 PM

I was thinking of mailing the fruitful little tuber to you, Rap, to celebrate your recovery from the stomach plague.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 08:47 PM

If you save the potato you can carefully cut each section with a sprout away from the main part and plant it. After the plants bloom you can cut the plants away, wait a week, and harvest your potatoes.

For example, if there are four sprouts cut the potato in four pieces, a sprout in each piece.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 07:54 PM

It is absoloomingly meaningful!! Especially since we all were just talking about potatos.

Also of meaning is this new alrt from the Physics.org service:

"UNPRECEDENTED SPECTROSCOPY USING THE BEST EVER RULER FOR LIGHT.
Physicists at NIST-Boulder have carried out a powerful new
spectroscopic study of a sample of gas using optical frequency
combs. The NIST work, which might well change the way spectroscopy
is done, is remarkable in that it provides the full spectrum of the
gas over a broad spectral region and with frequency accuracy that
can reach 1 Hz (for spectral frequencies of the order of 2 x 10^14
Hz). The NIST spectroscopic feat is equivalent to simultaneously
sending 155,000 individual single frequency lasers through the
sample and measuring the resulting amplitude and phase shift on each
individual laser. Moreover, the spectrum is measured rapidly, using
a device with no moving mechanical parts.
The invention of the optical frequency comb method was a great step
forward in laser science. John Hall (NIST) and Ted Haensch (Max
Planck) the Nobel prize in 2005 for their pioneering work in this
area. (For a tutorial on frequency combs, see
http://www.nist.gov/public_affairs/newsfromnist_frequency_combs.htm)
In the comb process, a pulsed laser emits light not merely at a
single frequency, but at a series of frequencies. A frequency
spectrum of this composite laser output looks like a comb, with
light occurring at regularly spaced frequencies, covering the
infrared part of the light spectrum."

So the next thing we will look forward to is an inexpensive device for combing light with. Way far oot, mon.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 06:31 PM

Hey! I just found a sprouted red potato in the back of the cupboard and the bottom of it hasn't even turned slimy yet

New life. that's pretty meaningful, idinit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 04:22 PM

Lo, 21-five-and-fifty come!
Ring the bells, and sound the drum!
March and chant and drum like thunder
Just to celebrate a number!!
ANd then, just for speculation,
Imagine what we would do if something genuinely meaningful were to occur.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 03:12 PM

Yeah -- I had something of similar form, if more elevated import, in mind...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 02:35 PM

Sounds like Biggie Eddy Little's song, the one he ripped off of Simon and Garfunkel and sang up at the Legion Hovel for the privilege of pulling the cigar butts of the spitoons. Last verse is all I remember:

Now I sit before my mirror
And I watch my nose
I fear Ill do some damage
One fine day
But I cannot shake hands
With any one of my peers
'Cause I'm still pickin' after all these years
Oh, still pickin'
Still pickin'
Still pickin' after all these years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 01:23 PM

Many of us are still picking after all these years, and a good banjo song could be made of it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 12:41 PM

I meant to say, "still pickING", not "still picked." Some are also still pickled.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 09:01 AM

It was before my time, Amos. But some of the guys 'n' gals are still picked splinters and worse out of their mouths.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 08:36 AM

g'morn, MOM! Coffee is perking, computers are crashing - it's a typical day here at work.

see you soon!

MMario


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jan 08 - 12:28 AM

I just cooked up a storm here, along with a side helping of chicken and eggplant and a piece of fish. I've never used a deep fryer before last fall, but I got myself one a couple of months ago. I've been exploring the possibilities of cooking several things in one session so when the oil can't be kept beyond that one session (because the booklet says the chicken releases too much moisture into the oil and it won't reheat well) I got my money's worth out of it. So I did some chicken fingers (dinner) then I did a batch of breaded eggplant (and put them in four single-serving pyrex dishes with spaghetti sauce and cheese and it will reheat nicely as eggplant parmesan) and I concluded with a breaded piece of orange roughy. Very nice (but we weren't hungry so we just tasted a bite each and the rest will get reheated for lunch tomorrow.)

MOM would be proud--and I have dinner for four evenings ready to go! Yesss!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 11:13 PM

Rapaire was about to complain vociferously when it occurred to hom they'd make him cook, instead. So he allowed it was good, though....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 09:34 PM

Did I ever mention the time the Legion got a new cook? Only lasted one meal -- he took the meaning of "SOS" literally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 06:52 PM

We'll chip 'em and put 'em o toast. Good ole Army SOS, jes' like Rapaire is usedto....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 06:41 PM

Here in Idaho potatoes ARE exhaustive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 05:35 PM

So you're offering up toast when you haven't exhausted the potato yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 05:12 PM

Fur he's a jolly good feller
Fur he's a jolly good feller
Fur he's a jolly good feller
And I can't remember the rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 04:49 PM

I would like to raise a toast to the kind Overseers of the Mudcat, especially Good Bro Joe "Honor and..." Offer, who has been kind enough to tolerate this thread for so long. He is a Goode Fellowe, indeede.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 04:41 PM

Ah, grasshopper, what a shallow criterion for success!!

I am a multimillionaire in my own mind. THAT's what counts.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 04:29 PM

Danny De Vito can't see eye to eye with anyone either, Amos. But he's famous and you're not.

Where did you go wrong?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 04:09 PM

My Gawd, MM, that was orful. I can't see eye to eye to eye to eye with you on this issue, I am afraid. I am afraid you have home fried your brains, by mistake. But, cheer up -- your joke produced peels of laughter.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 03:36 PM

Tuber or not tuber, that is the question!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 03:30 PM

Someone needs to get to the root of this question.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 12:09 PM

And the moldy rye bread, methinks....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 12:06 PM

Potatoes in their natural state are blind, white, hairless critters (much like nematodes) which live underground and propel themselves around looking for the roots of the "potato plant," which they suck for food.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 11:08 AM

Oh, dear, somebody's been playing fast and loose with the styrofoam again.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 11:00 AM

potatoes sink. At least, they *should* sink.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 10:40 AM

No they don't. Not when I put them in a pan of water to cook them. They sit on the bottom of the pot covered with water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 09:46 AM

I think potatoes float, ole bean.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 08:49 AM

Druther have moles than potatoes. Potatoes are causing Idaho to collapse and within twenty or thirty years it will be below sea level if the current rate of potato production continues.

And don't get me started on sugarbeets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 01:23 AM

Trade you some moles for some fire ants.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 08 - 09:49 PM

I am acutely aware of your qualifications, good Sir; they have manifested like moles in soft earth, the length and breadth of Mom's garden, in this thread. Withal, you are a good man at heart and do not know your own evil; so you are forgiven and we shall stumble on, ever alert, ever cleaning up, ever putting right.. This shall we do for our Mom.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 08 - 09:26 PM

Well, I'm well qualified to do both. I will point out that...no, I'd better not point that one out. Or that one, either. I guess that you'll just have to take my word for it. In fact, you'll have take my word for it, for I used to work for a Top Secret Government Agency and they will deny all knowledge of my existence if you call them. In fact they will deny all knowledge of their own existence, it's that secret. So take my word about my qualifications and you won't be visited by men wearing sunglasses and shoulder holsters, or at least not by men from the government wearing sunglasses and shoulder holsters. What you do on your own time is none of my affair.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 08 - 07:31 PM

Yeah, and someone has to dream it up -- there's the rub.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 08 - 05:32 PM

SOMEONE has to do the dirty work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 08 - 02:05 PM

An AMerican classic, sagely salvaged by the dexterous if occasionally sticky fingers of our Senior Prime Upper Top Lead Librarian.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 08 - 02:01 PM

It was back in two thousand four,
I was part of a good platoon.
We were on maneuvers in Mudcat land,
One night by the light of the moon.
Khandu had started a little thread,
And that's how it all begun.
We were knee deep in the Big MOAB,
But the big fool said to move on.

The Tweed said, "Sir, are you sure,
This is the best way back to the Caf'?"
"Tweed, go on; for I am the King
And got jurisdiction over this place
It'll be a little sloppy but just keep slogging.
We'll soon reach a thousand or so."
We were waist deep in the Big MOAB
And the big fool said to push on.

Then Amos said, "With all this BS
No one'll be able to swim."
"Amos, don't be a nervous nellie."
King Khandu said to him.
"All we need is a little determination;
Follow me, I'll lead on."
We were neck deep in the Big MOAB
And the big fool said to push on.

All of a sudden, the moon clouded over,
We heard a gurgling cry.
A few seconds later, King Khandu's crown
Was all that floated by.
Tweed then said, "Push on, brave men,
I'm in charge from now on."
And we never made it out of the Big MOAB
Tho' our King was dead and gone.

We stripped and dived and found his body
Stuck in the old manure heap.
I guess he didn't know that the BS was deeper
Than the place he'd once before been.
Lots more had joined the Big MOAB
Since Khandu had been where he'd been.
And we've never escaped from the Big MOAB
And like damn fools we still push on.

          -- Jethro N. Homer, Poems of the MOAB
             (New York and Dublin: Mom's House, 1589)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 08 - 01:40 PM

We're back. We had a nice talk and decided that there are several things around here that are wide and deep. Mom being first maong them, of course, but certain aspect of LH and Rapaire also come to mind...


A


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