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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 14 Dec 07 - 05:15 PM
Amos 14 Dec 07 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 07 - 04:06 PM
Amos 14 Dec 07 - 02:29 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 07 - 02:09 PM
Amos 14 Dec 07 - 01:56 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 07 - 01:20 PM
Donuel 14 Dec 07 - 10:56 AM
Amos 14 Dec 07 - 10:28 AM
Acme 14 Dec 07 - 10:14 AM
MMario 14 Dec 07 - 09:38 AM
MMario 14 Dec 07 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 07 - 09:37 AM
Amos 14 Dec 07 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 07 - 09:27 AM
MMario 14 Dec 07 - 08:48 AM
Acme 14 Dec 07 - 08:41 AM
GUEST,freds 13 Dec 07 - 10:16 PM
Acme 13 Dec 07 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 07 - 10:06 PM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 07 - 10:02 PM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 09:43 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 07 - 09:32 PM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 07:05 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 07 - 06:35 PM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 06:30 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 07 - 05:21 PM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 05:02 PM
Acme 13 Dec 07 - 04:38 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 07 - 03:38 PM
MMario 13 Dec 07 - 02:18 PM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 01:57 PM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 01:25 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 07 - 12:59 PM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 12:48 PM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 11:26 AM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 11:16 AM
Acme 13 Dec 07 - 11:10 AM
Acme 13 Dec 07 - 10:51 AM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 10:15 AM
MMario 13 Dec 07 - 10:06 AM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 10:01 AM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 13 Dec 07 - 09:32 AM
Amos 13 Dec 07 - 12:18 AM
Janie 13 Dec 07 - 12:15 AM
Amos 12 Dec 07 - 08:42 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 07 - 07:28 PM
Amos 12 Dec 07 - 06:09 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 05:15 PM

No, years of therapy and surgery restored my rugged good looks. I have, however, cut both brothers out of my will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 04:15 PM

My God!! That strange person who came to my house was a complete IMPOSTER!! You have been duped, Rapaire!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 04:06 PM

Did I ever mention the last time I grew a mustache? Well, it wasn't really a mustache, I actually let my nose hairs grow long enough to provide me with a really good "Yosemite Sam".

One day I noticed that my ear hairs were also getting pretty long, and soon I was able to braid my nose hairs and ear hairs together. People would stand in awe of my facial hair, and cowboys and cops came from miles around to admire.

But I wasn't meant to be the center of attention for long. My brothers, jealous of my popularity, shouted my name and as I turned my head to the left I ripped my right ear off. Then my other brother shouted at me from my right and I ripped off the left side of my nose.

Ever since then I have been clean shaven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 02:29 PM

He is already perfectly grounded, thank you, sir.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 02:09 PM

MOM!! MOM!!!

Amos stole my number!! Ground him! Ground him!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 01:56 PM

Now stands revealed all that is false and what is true:
THou posted 21-111
I posted 112.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 01:20 PM

I think, but am not at all certain, that all of the things pictures (including those labeled as "helicopters") are actually the starships of freds.

But that's just an educated guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 10:56 AM

Here is a strange hobby, videotaping satilites. http://www.rense.com/general79/wdx1.htm

Hey buddy, thery are probably watching you with better resolution than you will ever have.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 10:28 AM

I could not abide the responsibility of reintroducing the polyester leisure suit, no. If that is truly what they are about, it is clear they mean no good for mankind. Boot away, dear Stilly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 10:14 AM

I didn't squash them, I booted them off of the porch.

Funny, the dogs seemed to like the smell. But then, the dogs need baths themselves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 09:38 AM

Besides, which, Amos - they are threatening to re-introduce the polyester leisure suit.

You want that on your conscience?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 09:37 AM

we'll be missing pets, livestock and relatives if we don't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 09:37 AM

I have reason to believe that they have infiltrated the city government of San Diego.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 09:34 AM

MAybe we should reconsider this whole freds policy. AFter all this is the first repeating coherent interaction we have had with entities from another galaxy. Aren't we missing something just squashing them?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 09:27 AM

Kinda like skunk, rotten cheese, and something in the midst of unspeakable decay. I hope you haven't angered them, though. They spray like skunks when angered -- I know, a while back I punted one from my yard onto the golf course. They couldn't play the second hole for months and all the grass on the fairway died.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 08:48 AM

The cold weather brings them around; don't feed them and they should go away.

stomping works too, of course, but how does one cope with the smell?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 07 - 08:41 AM

STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!

STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! KICK!

THUMP shuffle shuffle shuffle


Did you know there were freds sleeping on the porch overnight? Geez, wasn't anyone paying attention? Good thing my pooches Poppy and Cinnamon decided to sleep in Mom's room last night (it got cold out in their garage stall!). That kept those cretins at bay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 10:16 PM

We have eaten a hundred.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 10:09 PM

There used to be Safeway here in Texas. You can still "see" them from their old footprint and stone fronts around the area. Can almost see the old yin/yang logo where they hung on the wall. They closed a long time ago now. They're still operating up in Washington, along with K-Mart, which we also lost a while back. Albertson's is perilously close to going away, it was purchased by someone else but is still called Albertson's for now. Not that I love Albertsons, but it is the store that has always had the proximity factor in its favor for about the last 25 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 10:06 PM

Oh, did you apply for that course too?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 10:04 PM

I betcha that's that Secret Upper Level Librarian Mind Mastery Course he got from that matchbook. Very impressive, I must say.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 10:02 PM

Nah, I did it from memory. You could have a memory like mine, Amos, if you hadn't done all those things in the '60s and didn't live in SoCal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 09:43 PM

Rapaire is such an asset to this list. Who else would haul out the ole Yellow Pages just to make sure he was being thorough? Wotta guy.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 09:32 PM

There is one Albertson's in town, one Ridley's, one Fred Meyer, one Smith's, one Nel's Bi-Lo, one College Market, one Butcher Block, one Del Monte Meats, one Wal-Mart, two K&B Qwik Stops, three L'il Stinkers, two Cowboy Oil Companies, one Winco, and several places whose names I do not know and from which I would be suspicious of food purchased.

There is also Dancing Heart Chocolates and the new co-op. There's Ra-Nae's Rolls, Geraldine's bakery, and the Great Harvest Bread Company.

Sportsman's Warehouse, Ace Hardware, Emergency Supplies, Doc's Gun Barn, and several other places sell freeze-dried camping food.

And from May to October there's the Farmers' Market, which includes produce grown in local gardens and meats raised on grass and butchered on local ranches. A new twist last summer was trout fillets, seasoned and ready to cook -- we purchased some breaded with pecan crumbs and other breaded with black pepper and parmesan cheese.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 07:05 PM

Of c'mon. Call that a sidestep? Vons, Albertson's, Big Bear, Mormon Marketds, Uncle Joseph's Food Emporium, Moroni's Meat and Treat, whateverrrr....

Anyway, I don't that is a picture of you. Your head is bigger than that guys, and he's shorter nor you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 06:35 PM

Well, mostly because we don't have any Safeways here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 06:30 PM

Mwahaha. Nicely turned, old fruit.

But that seems a very unsportsmanlike wya to go a-hunting.


Why not just "drop in" at the nearest Safeway?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 05:21 PM

Yes, and here's a picture of me using it (I was hunting at the time).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 05:02 PM

"Those...?..." --- you mean a strapon? RAPAIRE HAS A STRAPON!! WOW!! I didn't know that, Rapaire. Thanks for sharing.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 04:38 PM

Meteors tonight! Woooo-hoooo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 03:38 PM

I already have one of those, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 02:18 PM

They aren't goind to be able to come up with a Unified Theory until they find a couple of particles they keep missing.

among them are the:

seetheon ; this is the particle resposible for all that "seething energy" Amos was talking about.

The strapon - similar to the gluon but with attached hyper-strings.

the gohon - a wavicle that effects interaction between communication and time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 01:57 PM

"Vacuum energy has a number of consequences. In 1948 Dutch physicists Hendrik B. G. Casimir and Dirk Polder predicted the existence of a tiny attractive force between closely placed metal plates due to resonances in the vacuum energy in the space between them. This is now known as the Casimir effect and has since been extensively experimentally verified. It is therefore believed that the vacuum energy is "real" in the same sense that more familiar conceptual objects such as electrons, magnetic fields, etc. are real.

Other predictions are more esoteric and harder to verify. Vacuum fluctuations are always created as particle/antiparticle pairs. The creation of these virtual particles near the event horizon of a black hole has been hypothesized by physicist Stephen Hawking to be a mechanism for the eventual "evaporation" of black holes. The net energy of the universe remains zero so long as the particle pairs annihilate each other within Planck time. If one of the pair is pulled into the black hole before this, then the other particle becomes "real" and energy/mass is essentially radiated into space from the black hole. This loss is cumulative and could result in the black hole's disappearance over time. The time required is dependent on the mass of the black hole, but could be on the order of 10^100 years for large solar-mass black holes."

SO there ya go, Mouseketeers. Sharpen up your Casimir-effect filters, and you can have enough energy to move the human race over to the Andromeda cluster, where they can start the Grand Experiment all over again. Perhaps without Jesus, or at least without a Pope.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 01:25 PM

That's a very nice song, indeed it is Rapaire, but it sooooo old. ANd I do not feel like meds and I do not feel like napping. I have things to do and peopel to see and places to go and wonderful new horizons to raise. So if you will excuse me, you can take your little buitty tranquilizers and put them in an orifice nearby your li'l weenie.

Meanwhile, to those of more serious intent, I offer these reflections for all who tread these ahllowed halls:

In physics, "vacuum energy" or "zero-point energy" is the volumetric energy density of empty space. More recent developments have expounded on the concept of energy in empty space.

Modern physics is commonly classified into two fundamental theories: quantum field theory and general relativity. Quantum field theory takes quantum mechanics and special relativity into account, and it's a theory of all the forces and particles except gravity. General relativity is a theory of gravity, but it is incompatible with quantum mechanics. Currently these two theories have not yet been reconciled into one unified description, though research into "quantum gravity" seeks to bridge this divide.

In general relativity, the cosmological constant is proportional to the energy density of empty space, and can be measured by the curvature of space. It is subsequently related to the age of the universe, as energy expands outwards with time its density changes.

Quantum field theory considers the vacuum ground state not to be completely empty, but to consist of a seething mass of virtual particles and fields. These fields are quantified as probabilities?that is, the likelihood of manifestation based on conditions. Since these fields do not have a permanent existence, they are called vacuum fluctuations. In the Casimir effect, two metal plates can cause a change in the vacuum energy density between them which generates a measurable force.

Some believe that vacuum energy might be the "dark energy" (also called quintessence) associated with the cosmological constant in general relativity, thought to be similar to a negative force of gravity (or antigravity). Observations that the expanding universe appears to be accelerating seem to support the cosmic inflation theory?first proposed by Alan Guth in 1981?in which the nascent universe passed through a phase of exponential expansion driven by a negative vacuum energy density (positive vacuum pressure).



This whole energy-density versus spatiality is a real quandary, I tell ya. A Cosmic Dillemma, you might say. ANyone who cracks it will have the power to dilemminate the universe.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 12:59 PM

That's very nice for you, Amos. We're all so proud of you because you know that not everyone can do those things. Mom loves you and will make you some nice hot chocolate if you'll take your meds now. Thaaat's it. Soon it will be nappy-bye time, and if you'd like I'll sing you a nice little song to help you get to sleepy-bye:

A silly German sausage
Dreamt Napoleon he'd be,
Then he went and broke his promise,
It was made in Germany.
He shook hands with Britannia
And eternal peace he swore,
Naughty boy, he talked of peace
While he prepared for war.
He stirred up little Serbia
To serve his dirty tricks
But naughty nights at LiÎge
Quite upset this Dirty Dick.
His luggage labeled 'England'
And his programme nicely set,
He shouted 'First stop Paris',
But he hasn't got there yet.

For Belgium put the kibosh on the Kaiser;
Europe took the stick and made him sore;
On his throne it hurts to sit,
And when John Bull starts to hit,
He will never sit upon it any more.

His warships sailed upon the sea,
They looked a pretty sight
But when they heard the bulldog bark
They disappeared from sight.
The Kaiser said 'Be careful,
If by Jellicoe they're seen,
Then every man-of-war I've got
Will be a submarine'.
We chased his ship to Turkey,
And the Kaiser startled stood,
Scratch'd his head and said 'Don't hurt,
You see I'm touching wood';
Then Turkey brought her warships
Just to aid the German plot,
Be careful, Mr Turkey,
Or you'll do the Turkey Trot.

Belgium put the kibosh on the Kaiser;
Europe took the stick and made him sore;
And if Turkey makes a stand
She'll get ghurka'd and japanned,
And it won't be Hoch the Kaiser any more.

He'll have to go to school again
And learn his geography,
He quite forgot Britannia
And the hands across the sea,
Australia and Canada,
the Russian and the Jap,
And England looked so small
He couldn't see her on the map.
Whilst Ireland seemed unsettled,
'Ah' said he 'I'll settle John',
But he didn't know the Irish
Like he knew them later on.
Though the Kaiser stirred the lion,
Please excuse him for the crime,
His lunatic attendant
Wasn't with him at the time.

For Belgium put the kibosh on the Kaiser;
Europe took the stick and made him sore;
We shall shout with victory's joy,
Hold your hand out, naughty boy,
You must never play at soldiers any more.

For Belgium put the kibosh on the Kaiser;
Europe took the stick and made him sore;
On his throne it hurts to sit,
And when John Bull starts to hit,
He will never sit upon it any more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 12:48 PM

And this is TWO-ONE-OH-EIGHT-ONE.

Boy! I sure nabbed that one, huh? Wow.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 11:26 AM

ANd THAT was 21-nought-EIGHTY!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 11:16 AM

That's down right purdy kinesthesia, there, SRS!

IN other news, the Onion reports that "Tiger Woods added yet another accomplishment to his already outstanding résumé Sunday when the 13-time major winner successfully putted his baby daughter, five-month-old Sam Alexis Woods, into a fresh Huggies."

I never thought of that when my daughter was that old.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 11:10 AM

Hey, MOM! We still have a gloomy foggy morning here in the creek bottom, but I was out in the prairie earlier and it's a beautiful sunny day where the fog has lifted. Do you still have that big blower out in the back shed? Maybe we can vent off some of this cloud cover.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 10:51 AM

My accent sounds like a western mountain trout stream flowing through a northern evergreen (fir, pseudosuga, and pine) forest. That's why it doesn't fit so well on the undulating grassland and cast iron forest of North Texas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 10:15 AM

All great poets tend toward kinesthesia. In answer to your question, it looks like snow falling off a birch tree in early Spring.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 10:06 AM

Amos - I never knew you were kinesthetic! What does Kendell's accent look like?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 10:01 AM

For example, you never hot Janie's accent right; it is much too subtle for a cold-environment person to even hear, let alone create accurately. You version sounds like an Edison-phone conversation with a Malamute, where as the one the rest of us see is as soft as maple syrup in sunlight.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 09:48 AM

YEah, yeah, Rapaire, we know you have created all of us. But there is some question as to whether you did as accurate and seemly a job of it as some of us did in ALSO creating all of us. Your version seems a little wobbly and out of proportion in a few key dimensions, is all.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 09:32 AM

No, she really is, for I have created all of you and I know (I myself was created by the FSM).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 12:18 AM

Well, ma'am, wid all due respect, mebbe a break is in order? Being the way and the truth and all that can (believe me, I know....)end up going to one's head no matter what brand you work for, ma'a'm, iffen you don't mind my sayin' so.

But, hell, what do I know? Check with Bobert, he can give you a second opinion...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 12:15 AM

It's about time this thread came around to ME again.

I am the Way, the Truth, and the Cognitive-Behavioral Therapist.

Amen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 07 - 08:42 PM

Oh. Well, that's all right, and I am glad you seem to have recovered, because after all, seeming is everything, and despite my cantankerous, abrasive, obstreperous, adversarial and niggling posts at your generous expense I think you are quite the asset here in Mom's house and would not have you be driven away by my (or anyone else's) various peccadilloes.

Especially because I am practicing almost every day, now, and Mom says my peccadillo sounds almost good enough to make real music, whatever that means.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 07 - 07:28 PM

Yes she did shoot me. Nailed me right between the eyes, she did. Fortunately nothing vital was affected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 07 - 06:09 PM

Getting back to what Janie said, I think Mother has forgiven her. After all she didn't actually shoot Rapaire, she just thought about it, and Mom has done that much her own self on occasion.

A


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