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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 03 May 07 - 01:28 PM
MMario 03 May 07 - 10:22 AM
Amos 03 May 07 - 10:16 AM
Rapparee 03 May 07 - 09:15 AM
Acme 03 May 07 - 01:49 AM
Amos 02 May 07 - 09:30 PM
Rapparee 02 May 07 - 09:10 PM
Amos 02 May 07 - 01:53 PM
Amos 02 May 07 - 10:10 AM
Acme 02 May 07 - 01:36 AM
Rapparee 01 May 07 - 10:57 PM
Amos 01 May 07 - 10:50 PM
Rapparee 01 May 07 - 10:40 PM
Amos 01 May 07 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 01 May 07 - 10:10 PM
Rapparee 01 May 07 - 10:04 PM
Amos 01 May 07 - 09:43 PM
Amos 01 May 07 - 08:28 PM
Amos 01 May 07 - 06:02 PM
Rapparee 01 May 07 - 05:03 PM
beardedbruce 01 May 07 - 04:34 PM
Amos 01 May 07 - 04:33 PM
beardedbruce 01 May 07 - 03:47 PM
MMario 01 May 07 - 03:42 PM
Amos 01 May 07 - 03:38 PM
MMario 01 May 07 - 03:31 PM
Amos 01 May 07 - 03:20 PM
Rapparee 01 May 07 - 03:07 PM
Acme 01 May 07 - 01:30 PM
Amos 01 May 07 - 10:10 AM
MMario 01 May 07 - 09:30 AM
Rapparee 01 May 07 - 09:28 AM
MMario 01 May 07 - 08:29 AM
Amos 30 Apr 07 - 08:51 PM
Acme 30 Apr 07 - 08:37 PM
Amos 30 Apr 07 - 05:17 PM
Acme 30 Apr 07 - 03:52 PM
Amos 30 Apr 07 - 03:49 PM
MMario 30 Apr 07 - 03:43 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 07 - 03:39 PM
MMario 30 Apr 07 - 03:30 PM
Acme 30 Apr 07 - 03:16 PM
MMario 30 Apr 07 - 02:56 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 07 - 02:39 PM
John Hardly 30 Apr 07 - 02:11 PM
MMario 30 Apr 07 - 02:05 PM
John Hardly 30 Apr 07 - 02:02 PM
John Hardly 30 Apr 07 - 02:01 PM
Amos 30 Apr 07 - 02:00 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 07 - 12:36 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 07 - 01:28 PM

Amos, I am SICK AND TIRED of your accusations that I don't provide enough BS here! To that I can only say, BAT SHIT! So, here:

BALLSTON SPA, N.Y. (AP) -- An upstate New York couple didn't think a few bats in the attic were much of a problem when they were buying a house last summer.

Months later, they found out how wrong they were when they discovered more than a ton and a half of bat droppings up there.

Nick LaBoda and Jenna Caputo say a home inspector informed them about the bats. They called an exterminator, who told them to wait a while before removing the bats because the babies were too young to fly.

Then they forgot about the bats until they smelled a foul odor in January. When they checked the attic, they found dead bats and piles of guano.

An exterminator says hundreds of bats had been living in the attic, leaving behind 3,500 pounds of droppings.

It cost $25,000 to clean up the mess, and the couple's insurance company wouldn't cover it. They're fighting it out in court.


Perhaps MMario would like to comment?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 May 07 - 10:22 AM

the crick behind my parents house rose twice a day. and it rose a lot higher at full and new moons. and even higher then that when there was a storm surge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 07 - 10:16 AM

This brings us to a serious fork in the road; and if you've ever tried to have a conversation with a serous fork, you know it is not a laughing matter.

For centuries, now, we have been appending to our best plans and firmest agreements the concept that we would see them come true "God willin' an' the creek don't rise". The phrase serves similarly to the upiquitous tag-lineof the Muslim world, where even an agreement to meet for breakfast must have Insh'allah tacked on -- if God wills it -- as the ultimate disclaimer of responsibililty.

But now, we have (as I said) a serious parting of ways, as our little prayer has now left the conditional mode and gone from the subjunctive to the simply declarative: THe creek has riz. Stilly makes this abundantly clear, and brings sharply to view that it has even happened before, but we ignored it. This sort of blissful linguistic self-deceit is no longer an option.

So NOW what do we do?

I think we might do well to fall back on "come hell or high water", a qualifier from a more rugged age when folks got done what they meant to do, or died trying. (I don't believe the Arab world has an equivalent, but since they weren't bettiing on the creek anyway, this is immaterial).

Wouldn't that add some color to our pastel lives?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 07 - 09:15 AM

Stilly, the answer is simple: sandbags. Sandbags and 2x4s and Visqueen.

You build a strong frame of 2x4s along your creek's edge, back a bit so the water can rise a little. Staple the visqueen to the frame on the creekside, leaving about three feet loose at the bottom. Put sandbags (fill them only about 2/3 full so they'll settle in among themselves well) on this ground/visqueen overlap and to help reinforce the other side of the frame.

It helps to have duct tape handy. Duct tape is ALWAYS handy to have around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 07 - 01:49 AM

Sorry I wasn't around earlier, MOM. It rained and flash-flooded AGAIN this evening. The creek has been out of its banks and into the yard twice in as many weeks. I didn't have to mop up as much water in front of the fireplace this time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 07 - 09:30 PM

Much better!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 07 - 09:10 PM

Here are the Ads Below the Box, or ABB:

M-State Gold Supplement
Liquid Alchemy Monatomic Gold-Au w/ Indium for energy & super-wellness.

Revlelation 17 Reveals
Identity of Next Pope. He Will be The Last Pope. Learn Bible Prophecy


Wondering who the next Pope will be, I peeked. It will be Satan disguised as John Paul II. After that I wasn't interested in monatomic gold with indium.

Besides, I gave up alchemy when I found out that to make lead into gold you need a nukler selerator, as our Prez would say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 07 - 01:53 PM

In your effort to be famous,
Pray, Rapaire, try not to shame us!
Nor succumb to mental panic,
Mob pronouncements schizophranic,
Darkling spells of tripe and lizard
In some pot bought from some wizard,
Rumours sly,assertions bawdy,
Overdoses of hot toddy,
Call which haul the whole damn tribe in,
Games with pot, or psilocybin,
Hashish chants or chicken-slaughters
Or evil rites from o'er the waters.
Keep your temper, and your view
On notions more befitting you!

Mom


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 07 - 10:10 AM

Now he's not only got MPD, but he's paranoid and insists he is being followed around by toidies.

Dear God, look down on Our Friend Rapaire, and heal his sight that he may see, his feet that he may smell, and his nose that he may run. And ease him of his stress and his sorrow that he may have the courage to again become one self, as We your servants really like it better.


Amen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 07 - 01:36 AM

Heads up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:57 PM

You betcha! We have many heads in Our mansion so that We are never far from a "necessary." Some of them even follow Us around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:50 PM

Well, one of you does. Or is this sort of a polydent arrangement where one handle is shared by multiple identities?

Interesting thought -- is it possible to be schizo in cyberspace? Since you usually type one message at a time, obviosu you're serial rather than parallely multiple.

(he can too!! He could bargew in on himself within one post!!)

(Oh, shutup -- don't interrupt. You know I hate that....)

(You two better calm down and let ME finish this post....)

In any case, Rapaire's obsession with the first person plural means that even his component identities are so fractured they each think they are many. Like something out of the New Testament:

"In my father's head are many mansions; and in my father's mansion are many heads. And never the twain shall meet."

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:40 PM

We post here, don't We?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:30 PM

Can Divinity create a task so trivial that even He cannot be bothered to do it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:10 PM

Amos, them there trimers -- I got a feelin' that they're just some sorta quantum menage a trois or something. Them neutered particles are lookin' for a good time, so they put a quantum ad in a quantum personals column. Probly somethin' like

"SNP would like to meet two other SNPs for frigid good time. No hotties need apply."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:04 PM

We created Bode, and Bode created Cheech Wizard, and We are pleased with Cheech Wizard, the creation of Our creation. (We would put the - over the "e" in Bode but We can't be bothered to do so right now.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 07 - 09:43 PM

Rapaire meets the Forest Creatures and persuades them of his Divinity...well, almost...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 07 - 08:28 PM

Jeez, Mom, are you okay? Worried about him? Why on earth would you be worried about him if he can get a cushy job in a Think Tank promiting his new Theory of Management By Multiple Viewpoints? It's a slam-dunk, I'm rellin' ya!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 07 - 06:02 PM

Hey Mom!! I discovered Rapaire's REAL problem -- he's one of them Efimov trimers, and physicists have been trying to track him down for years!! Good thing we figgered it out. This Deistic We business was gonna get him committed to a loony bin, but now he can go to a think-tank instead! YAAAY!!!

"THE EFIMOV EFFECT: THREE*S COMPANY, TWO'S A CROWD. At the April APS
meeting in Jacksonville, physicists discussed the recent observations of
the Efimov effect, a purely quantum phenomenon whereby two particles
such as neutral atoms which ordinarily do not interact strongly with one
another join together with a third atom under the right conditions. The
trio can then form an infinite number of configurations, or put another
way, an infinite number of "bound states" that hold the atoms together.

The effect was first predicted around 1970 by a physicist named Vitaly
Efimov, then a Ph.D. candidate at the time, but was originally
considered "too strange to be true," according to the University of
Colorado*s Chris Greene, in part because the atoms would abruptly
switch from being standoffish to becoming stuck-together Siamese
Triplets at remarkably long distances from one another (approximately
500-10,000 times the size of a hydrogen atom in the case of neutral
atoms). For decades, experimenters tried in vain to create these
three-particle systems (which came to be known as "Efimov trimers").
In 1999, Greene and his collaborators Brett Esry and Jim Burke
predicted that gases of ultracold atoms might provide the right
conditions for creating the three-particle state. In 2005, a research
team led by Rudi Grimm of the University of Innsbruck in Austria finally
confirmed the Efimov state in an ultracold gas of cesium cooled to just
10 nanokelvin.

How do the neutral atoms attract one another in the first place? At
small distances, ordinary chemical bonding mechanisms apply, but at the
vast distances relevant to the Efimov effect, it is mainly through the
van der Waals effect, in which rearrangements of electrical charge in
one atom (forming an "electric dipole") create electric fields that can
induce dipoles in, and thereby attract, neighboring atoms. The
observation of the Efimov effect is a coup for being able to study the
rich quantum physics between three particles.

The effect can conceivably occur in nucleons or molecules (and any
object governed by quantum mechanics). However, it will likely be
harder to observe in those systems because physicists cannot alter the
strengths of interactions between the constituent particles as easily as
they can in ultracold atom gases (through their "Feshbach resonances").
But the effect could provide insights on such systems as the triton, a
nucleon with one proton and two neutrons, in addition to the BCS-BEC
crossover, in which atoms switch from forming weakly bound Cooper pairs
to entering a single collective quantum state.

(See also article by Charles Day, Physics Today, April 2006, Esry et al, Phys. Rev. Lett, 30
August 1999, and Kraemer et al., Nature, 16 March 2006)."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 07 - 05:03 PM

We speak in the Deitic Singular. Similar to the "Imperial We" but referring to Ourself as Sole and Only Deity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 01 May 07 - 04:34 PM

but I distinctly recall seeing you with a hat, and not noticing a point at all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 07 - 04:33 PM

BB, you are confusing me with the Tall Grays. I am not one of them. I am a Short Gray. Do not, I pray, be insulting.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 01 May 07 - 03:47 PM

but when he wears a hat no-one notices it...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 May 07 - 03:42 PM

you do have a point there, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 07 - 03:38 PM

Well, yeah, just so, MM....but which species???


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 May 07 - 03:31 PM

just use mob psychology. should work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 07 - 03:20 PM

Ummm...excuse me, Narcissus...but, exactly how many of your myriad personalities, all of them cracked as a cow's horn, are you including in this "We" proposition? I just want to know the size of the mob I am speaking of, here, you understand. it makes a difference in, um, which psychology should be applied, if you see my point.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 07 - 03:07 PM

We are pleased that you are pleased, and We know that you will be pleased that We are pleased with your pleasure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 May 07 - 01:30 PM

It finally loaded. I like the squirrel and the monkey with the goat. That tiger was pretty impressive also. I remember that about the Prospect Park Zoo, when I was a ranger in that park. I'd go through the zoo on hot days to see the zookeepers playing with the tigers as they hosed them off. The only big cat to like water.

Hey, Amos, speaking of wierd pictures, I watched Stranger than Fiction yesterday. Interesting. Farrell is an actor I've been aware of but haven't gone out of my way to watch before. I was pleasantly surprised.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:10 AM

There's not THAT much room behind her skirts. Some of it must be tucked up somewhere...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 May 07 - 09:30 AM

That's *good* Queen Bess. "EVIL" Queen Bess is a monster. she makes Malificent look like an angel. Evil Queen Bess hides most of the internet behind the impenetrable curtain of her skirts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 07 - 09:28 AM

Bess ain't evil. She's the Virgin Queen. Queen of the Virgins. She doesn't have many subjects, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 May 07 - 08:29 AM

Evil Queen Bess, the content filter, has ruled that site to be verboten. Obviously a mind-bending subversive site.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 08:51 PM

Yeah, there are 12 more unusual photos after that one. It runs fine on mine.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 08:37 PM

It stops loading at the phone through the ear. Does it get odder than that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:17 PM

On Humility In the MOAB



I think it is well to remember that there are more kinds of BS under heaven, Horatio, than will ever find their way into our humble thread. Here, for exampe, are some scenes you will probably not see around town.

Sigh. So much BS, and so little time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 03:52 PM

There may be crawdads in the creek, mostly turtles and various fish. Lots of birds. It's an urban creek--do you think gumbo out of those waters would be good for you?

This is a little tough for eating. (This is an authoritative photo of one of the critters). And this you could use for seasoning (just a nice photo I found when I was looking for a place to park the ammonite--one I took during a deep freeze after a warm spell this winter. That rosemary is so easy to trick into blooming!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 03:49 PM

I suppose he needed something from which to let his tackle fall, so he brought some davits to the golf course. I believe they make a small plastic shoulder-mounted variety with little itsy-bitsy lines in it.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 03:43 PM

On a golf course? Is your next question "How long can tread water?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 03:39 PM

"Davits", not "divots", you foolish mortals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 03:30 PM

no wonder he's unbalanced. left divots should always be paired with right divots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 03:16 PM

Someone give Pat a call--Rapaire is off his meds again. I just received a text message from a golfer who saw a big nude guy kowtowing to a huge pile of golf balls he'd retrieved from the brush near his fence. He's chanting something about "Jessup Mountain" and has left divots all over the place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:56 PM

Dorothy absovled the Wicked Witch of the West by throwing a bucket of water on her. Are you going to do the same to absolve us? If so, please warm the water to approx 98 degrees (f) before absolving us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:39 PM

Creations:

We absolve you of your heinous and grievous and nearly unforgivable sin, that of Failing To Believe In Me. We do require certain penances of you, beginning with the donation of all of your worldly wealth to Khandu because We, as Deity don't need it and besides, We can get it from him anytime We wish. You will also sprinkle your heads with hot ashes, but as an all-beneficent deity We enjoin you from harming yourselves by doing so. Lastly, We require you to climb Soyo-San (also known as Mt. Soyo) by walking on your hands; you may descend in the normal way, by jumping off.

We strongly suggest that you do not do this again.

Your Beneficent and Forgiving Overlord,
Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:11 PM

here...

?

...I found this in my reply box. I'm assuming, perhaps, one of you dropped it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:05 PM

He probably would have said "doody-hood" if he'd thought of it first, but now it would be plaigerism, so he won't.

Am I correct that when you say "nail Articles of Protestant Reform on your door" that "door" is a euphimism


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:02 PM

you didn't just say "doody-hood" did you?

no, wait, I can see now that you clearly said "deity-hood". Do monks wear deity hoods?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:01 PM

I think that "ammonite" is what they make ammo out of. Or, it is that of which they make ammo. Or, ammo is made of "ammonite" (parenthesis optional).

Crayfish are in the creek in your back yard and if you want to fix them in a gumbo then, yes, you can mail some to me. Crayfish also worship Chemosh (this isn't well known, but I have it on good authority. I made it up).

Ammo is better for warship than for worship. That's just my observation. Your opinion may vary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:00 PM

MWAHAHAHAHA. I, for one, defy your power, your allness, and your self-styled deity-hood. I say your feet are as clay, and your nose as aluminum siding. I say your eye is skewed and your tongue as forked as a Republican platform. MWAHAHA! I am going to nail Articles of Protestant Reform on your door.


MWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 12:36 PM

NOT King, Amos.






























All-Powerful Deity.


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