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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rustic Rebel 11 Mar 05 - 08:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 05 - 06:34 PM
Acme 11 Mar 05 - 06:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 05 - 05:10 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 05 - 04:39 PM
GUEST 11 Mar 05 - 02:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 05 - 02:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 05 - 02:33 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 02:23 PM
Acme 11 Mar 05 - 02:13 PM
Rustic Rebel 11 Mar 05 - 01:43 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 01:13 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 05 - 01:09 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 01:08 PM
GUEST 11 Mar 05 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 05 - 12:05 PM
GUEST 11 Mar 05 - 12:00 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 11:56 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 05 - 11:47 AM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 11:47 AM
Paco Rabanne 11 Mar 05 - 11:42 AM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 11:41 AM
Layah 11 Mar 05 - 11:33 AM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 11:27 AM
Layah 11 Mar 05 - 11:14 AM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 10:53 AM
Acme 11 Mar 05 - 10:47 AM
GUEST,MMario 11 Mar 05 - 08:34 AM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 05 - 06:42 AM
Acme 10 Mar 05 - 11:20 PM
Acme 10 Mar 05 - 11:19 PM
Acme 10 Mar 05 - 11:13 PM
Acme 10 Mar 05 - 11:11 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 10 Mar 05 - 11:03 PM
Acme 10 Mar 05 - 10:47 PM
GUEST,Bunnhabhain 10 Mar 05 - 08:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Mar 05 - 06:56 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 05 - 05:01 PM
Tweed 10 Mar 05 - 04:49 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 05 - 01:59 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 Mar 05 - 01:14 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 Mar 05 - 01:10 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 Mar 05 - 01:07 PM
Bunnahabhain 10 Mar 05 - 01:07 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 Mar 05 - 01:06 PM
Rustic Rebel 10 Mar 05 - 01:04 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 Mar 05 - 12:57 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 Mar 05 - 12:55 PM
GUEST 10 Mar 05 - 12:50 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 Mar 05 - 12:33 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 08:26 PM

Suckin da head of da mudbug,
that's what da people do.
Rip da head offin' da creek crab
and suck in all da goo.
I'd like to get me some crawdad's
boil 'em up like a stew,
but da juice and da fat in da river lobster's head,
I think I will give to you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 06:34 PM

Yes it do. Only around here "bayou" doesn't have a really distinctive meaning. In Louisiana it seems to pretty much mean a swamp with a creek running through it. We have one or two of them, but we have several bayous that would be called rivers in most places. No swampiness, just running water. The one my friend live on, Bayou Texar (pronounced "tayhar" - Spanish style), is really a river. But it's much more mellow than the Mississippi.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 06:01 PM

The Bayou probably has a more restful pace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 05:10 PM

Tell ya whut, Rapaire, fergit N'awlins. Jus' come on down here an I'll get my buddy Mike t' cook up some stuff fer ya. Mike useta live in N'awlins an' him an' Paul Prudhomme wuz neighbors. Chef Paul might be a good cook, but seems he cain't change a lightbulb on his own. So Mike got t' doin' little odd jobs aroun' Chef Paul's place an' Paul repaid him with cookin' lessons. Oh my, but th' boy can cook up a potta gumbo! An' I'm shore he can whoop up a beignet er two if'n he's in th' mood. Onliest difference is instead uh sittin' in th' Cafe du Monde an' watchin' th' Mizzippi flow by, ya'd hafta sit on Mike's deck an' watch Bayou Texar flow by.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 04:39 PM

You buy them beignets and I'll eat 'em for you. 'Course, you'll have to fly me down to N'awlins since they're only good sittin' in the Cafe du Monde and watching The River go by. I'll even eat that etoufee, too, for ya. I'm just one nice guy, that's all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 02:47 PM

all I got in the ads is the same dang "buy CD's" I see all the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 02:44 PM

And why does the Google ad want me to buy beignets from the Cafe du Monde? What do beignets have to do with BS or folk music? They're not even real coon-ass food. Crawfish ettoufe' is real coon-ass food.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 02:33 PM

"78910", huh? Let's see... It's taken almost two years to get to 7,000 posts. But the rate of posting seems to be rising exponentially, helped along by nitwits like Flamingo Ted who post 20 blank posts per 100 trying to capture the mystical hundredth post. So, at the current rate of postal acceleration we should be to post #78,910 somewhere around, oh... the end of this May? That would require that posting accelerate to something in the 5,000 posts-per-day range by mid-April. Yeah, we can do that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 02:23 PM

it were breakfast.

truth be told it was a clementine - which is a bastard offspring of a mandarin and a sweet orange.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 02:13 PM

6800. I rest my case.

Sorry to hear about your orange, MMario. Was it a soliary fruit (a navel orange?) purchased for a meal, or are you growing a new type of cold-weather tolerant tree?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 01:43 PM

I take it back, I will get into the number game. I get dibbs on thread number 78910. (thanks Bee-dubya)


Hello back at ya' Tweed. Tweed you around here? Have you ever seen Jim Belushi and the Sacred Hearts? I'm going to see them tomorrow night. I've never seen them or even heard their music but reading about them they sound 'Kick-Ass'and full of talent. I read Jim does at least one back flip per show and dances on the tables.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 01:13 PM

the pits in the orange are about the last straw...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 01:09 PM

Sounds like my last trip to New York City.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 01:08 PM

danged if today isn't the most monday of fridays I've had in a long time. e-mail service is down; my brother-in-law has an undetermined "leak" in his circulatory system - the cats are pissed at me because I went to bed last night instead of staying up until they decided to come inside - its still feekin' snowing outside; and to top it all off my seedless orange has pits in it!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 12:09 PM

fingers slipped.

or it's the north-east southern west england long u.

your pick.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 12:05 PM

I didn't know that Spaw was "acussed." Never heard the word used like that before. Must be medieval.

"The owl for all his feathers was a-cussed."

"Don't go there, milord, for it is an acussed place."

Probably from the south of England.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 12:00 PM

Prominant MudCat figure accussed of causing geologic event


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 11:56 AM

What about if you use a different calander?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 11:47 AM

November 19, 1999 (11/19/1999) was the last date with all odd numbers until November 11, 3111 (11/11/3111). That's using the convention of writing, say, March as "03" instead of just "3". Ignoring that convention, January 1, 3111 (1/1/3111) will be next.

February 2, 2000 (02/02/2000) was the first date with all even numbers since August 28, 888 (08/28/0888). The last date with all even numbers before the year 3000 will, of course, be August 28, 2888 (08/28/2888).

This all assumes that no major shifts in lunar or planetary orbits entail major revisions of the calendar. But that's probably a moot point since any such shifts will probably also mean the end of human life upon Earth anyway. And if there are any human survivors living anywhere else by then they'll probably be using a calandar that's more in tune with the 477-day year of whatever their home planet is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 11:47 AM

dammit ted! here I am wracking my brains (and that isn't easy - do you know how hard it is to wrack brains properly when you have onlyu one functional brain cell?) to come up with appropriate BS and you post blanks!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 11:42 AM

6800!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 11:41 AM

fast fingers and persistance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 11:33 AM

You need to teach me the trick of getting windows open. Didn't know you could do that from the outside.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 11:27 AM

I think the cat knocked a broom over and blocked the back door so it couldn't be open. I climbed in through a window.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 11:14 AM

I finally made it back! I came and the front door was locked and I went to the back door and it was locked too! Moooo-oooom, who locked the back door? I was out and busy all day, and now so much has happened while I was gone. Did anyone make cookies? I need a cookie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 10:53 AM

life is so confusing - for example"

Why do gentlefolk get schooled in arms. Common people is schooled in their heads - though it has been known to administer lessons via rump!

Do gentlefolk have brains in their arms? I'm sure you *do* know people whose brain is in sdomer portion of their anatomy other then their head -

many teenage boys for eample think with their....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 10:47 AM

Thanks to the little site that came up in a Google search on "numbers poem" for something to fill in the posts. It would have been easier to let the thread alone and someone else nab the number (Rapaire seems to have been napping again--had he be around I'd have retired). But darn, these poachers who pop in just to snag a number chap my hide when they add nothing of substance to this BS thread (may I say that without being accused of committing an oxymoron?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 08:34 AM

M-MOOOMMMMM!



Bee-Dubya says we aren't playing right!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 06:42 AM

Congratulations, Maggie. "6789" is, of course, the last number of its type we will see here until "12345".

Now, some would say that "7890" is next, but I say it doesn't qualify. I don't count "7, 8, 9, Zero". I count "7, 8, 9, Ten". If "7890" counts, then "8901" must count too and it obviously doesn't. It's on a par with playing Gin Rummy with "going around the corner" rules (playing J,K,Q,A,2). It's kid stuff. Grownups don't play that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 11:20 PM

6789


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 11:19 PM

The Skip Count Song

(to the tune of "Skip to my Lou")

Skip count, skip count, count by 2's
Skip count, skip count, count by 2's
Skip count, skip count, count by 2's
We can count to 20.
"2, 4, 6, 8, 10,12,14,16, 18, 20!"

Skip count, skip count, count by 5's
Skip count, skip count, count by 5's
Skip count, skip count, count by 5's
We can count to 50.
"5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50!"

Skip count, skip count, count by 10's
Skip count, skip count, count by 10's
Skip count, skip count, count by 10's
We can count to 100.
"10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 11:13 PM

The Garden

One, two, three,
The garden is growing.
Four, five, six,
Now it needs hoeing.
Seven, eight, nine,
Down go the weeds.
Ten, eleven, twelve,
Water it needs.
Thirteen, fourteen,
Here comes a shower.
Fifteen, sixteen,
A carrot and a flower!

from here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 11:11 PM

Numbers
Mary Cornish

I like the generosity of numbers.
The way, for example,
they are willing to count
anything or anyone:
two pickles, one door to the room,
eight dancers dressed as swans.

I like the domesticity of addition--
add two cups of milk and stir--
the sense of plenty: six plums
on the ground, three more
falling from the tree.

And multiplication's school
of fish times fish,
whose silver bodies breed
beneath the shadow
of a boat.

Even subtraction is never loss,
just addition somewhere else:
five sparrows take away two,
the two in someone else's
garden now.

There's an amplitude to long division,
as it opens Chinese take-out
box by paper box,
inside every folded cookie
a new fortune.

And I never fail to be surprised
by the gift of an odd remainder,
footloose at the end:
forty-seven divided by eleven equals four,
with three remaining.

Three boys beyond their mothers' call,
two Italians off to the sea,
one sock that isn't anywhere you look.

from Poetry magazine
June 2000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 11:03 PM

Yeah, it's a MOABus trip, man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 10:47 PM

Whatever.

It's a mobius MOABius strip, always running parallel to itself, never ending.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bunnhabhain
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 08:12 PM

Following from this linkage of MOAB to the entire universe, we can say with some confidence that the universe is closed.

MOAB comes back to the same points, often after only a short period of time. Now this implies that MOAB is closed. We can now expand this result to the cosmological scale, and prove without doubt the Universe is closed.

This result is of vast importance to all sorts of astronomers, and Shatner. I'm willing to share my Nobel prize with Bee-Dubya-ell, and list in references all prominent in the creation of MOAB ( Miniture Observable Astronomical Benchmark )

And any smart arses pointing out (1) MOAB is not closed, as closed things have big red labels on, or (2) We wander round in circles, not inhabit a closed phase space, will be silenced with a potent rutabaga based neurotoxin.

Bunnahabhain


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 06:56 PM

By the way, like the Universe itself, BS is not only expanding, but doing so at an ever-accelerating rate. It took almost three full months, from May 5th to August 3rd, for the first thousand MOAB posts to accumulate. But if one counts back a thousand posts from today, one finds that BS is now being posted to this thread at a rate of a thousand posts every forty-seven days! That's almost twice as fast as the rate for the first thousand posts!

At the current rate of acceleration, we should be posting a thousand posts of pure BS per day by 2016.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 05:01 PM

He lives! Thank God that the cat glare didn't kill him! Shiny cats are the 34,569th cause of death in the US!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 04:49 PM

Hello!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 01:59 PM

Yes, there are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 01:14 PM

Does anyone know - Are there any documented cases of people dying from "cat glare"?

they can certainly deal out the lethal looking stares.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 01:10 PM

I'd say they have become non-existant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 01:07 PM

WOBH!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 01:07 PM

Shirley? Boer war? Wasn't she in something about the Zulu war. 30 odd years earlier. Or am I just totally confused?

BTW, What odds on Rapier getting 6776?

Men of Harlech, stop your dreaming,
Can't you see their spear points gleaming,
See their warriors pendants streaming,
To this battlefield.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 01:06 PM

are you implying that some of us attempt to post certain significant posts based on the number of the post?


What a silly idea!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 01:04 PM

Dear mother,
You are very entertaining and generous. You are dedicated to the spirit of laugh and even though I'm not into chasing the numbers you graciously presented me with a fine gift. I thank you, I want to spank you and I want to see Dismas Dyfydd blow himself with that orange noodle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 12:57 PM

BTW - SRS - some segments of this culture know the Boer War though other then Shirley. But usually still cinema


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 12:55 PM

sorry - that was me - see? I'm so bored I'm reduced to talking to myself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 12:50 PM

dagnabitt the personal pages are out again - for like the fourth time this morning.

How am I suppossed to do a good job of wasting the tax-payers money (i'm a civil service employee)if the web sites I want keep going down


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 12:33 PM

Did you know there was a super-volcano near Naples? and one in New Zealand?


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