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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 03 Feb 05 - 12:22 PM
Layah 03 Feb 05 - 12:14 PM
Bunnahabhain 03 Feb 05 - 12:12 PM
GUEST,heric 03 Feb 05 - 11:43 AM
GUEST,MMario 03 Feb 05 - 11:17 AM
Acme 03 Feb 05 - 11:00 AM
GUEST,heric 03 Feb 05 - 10:29 AM
Bunnahabhain 03 Feb 05 - 10:24 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 05 - 10:18 AM
GUEST,heric 03 Feb 05 - 10:16 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 05 - 10:15 AM
GUEST,sex thousand 03 Feb 05 - 10:14 AM
GUEST,heric 03 Feb 05 - 10:14 AM
GUEST 03 Feb 05 - 10:13 AM
GUEST 03 Feb 05 - 10:13 AM
Acme 03 Feb 05 - 10:04 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 05 - 10:00 AM
GUEST,MMario 03 Feb 05 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 03 Feb 05 - 09:54 AM
GUEST,MMario 03 Feb 05 - 09:52 AM
GUEST,MMario 03 Feb 05 - 09:50 AM
GUEST,MMario 03 Feb 05 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 03 Feb 05 - 09:44 AM
Bunnahabhain 03 Feb 05 - 09:13 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 05 - 12:08 AM
Rustic Rebel 02 Feb 05 - 11:46 PM
GUEST,Chester Field 02 Feb 05 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 05 - 09:48 PM
GUEST,Layah 02 Feb 05 - 09:09 PM
Teresa 02 Feb 05 - 08:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Feb 05 - 08:30 PM
Amos 02 Feb 05 - 07:16 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 05 - 06:48 PM
Teresa 02 Feb 05 - 03:51 PM
Acme 02 Feb 05 - 03:36 PM
GUEST,Hans Heidens Anderson 02 Feb 05 - 03:11 PM
GUEST,Amos 02 Feb 05 - 02:36 PM
GUEST 02 Feb 05 - 02:02 PM
GUEST,MMario 02 Feb 05 - 09:28 AM
GUEST,Amos 02 Feb 05 - 09:19 AM
GUEST,Hans Heidens Anderson 02 Feb 05 - 09:11 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 02 Feb 05 - 08:35 AM
GUEST,MMario 02 Feb 05 - 08:34 AM
GUEST,Amos 02 Feb 05 - 08:17 AM
Teresa 02 Feb 05 - 02:30 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Feb 05 - 01:06 AM
Rustic Rebel 02 Feb 05 - 12:40 AM
Acme 02 Feb 05 - 12:23 AM
Amos 02 Feb 05 - 12:18 AM
Bunnahabhain 01 Feb 05 - 06:30 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:22 PM

Since Guest Heric saw fit to take undue advantage of a thousand hard-earned posts, produced by others, and then to reap all the glory by stealing the 6000 slot although he had contributed next to nothing of the effort, should qwe excoriate him? Accuse him of rampant capitalist doggerel?

He should be sentenced to write 250 posts in the next thousand!!! Only quality BS posts showing originality and humor and subtlety.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:14 PM

Like this one. 6011


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:12 PM

It's only a number. There will be more....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 11:43 AM

Please, criticism of bwl is unwarranted. While he may have had you distracted with spatulas, he certainly had his eye on the game. He missed by only microseconds with clever banter, making me appear about as eloquent as Neil Armstrong. No, I could not have asked for a more formidable and experienced champion, clearly at the top of his game.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 11:17 AM


Post by Post, Post by Post
Post by Post upwards
All in the MOAB thread
yearned for six thousand
"Forward Idaho Brigade!
Ignore Spatulas!" he said
But most in the MOAB thread
missed post six thousand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 11:00 AM

BWL, it's your own damned fault. You distracted us with spatulas.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:29 AM

I'd like to thank khandu, of course, for the inspiration that made this day possible. And all of the thousands of contributions, and the effort it entailed. For those of you feeling some pangs of disappointment oe envy, I wish you the very best in your future endeavours in this puursuit. Today is not an end but a beginning, and there will surely be more opportunities arising and challenges to overcome. Thank you. Thank you all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:24 AM

We're more than half way to 10K - 100 squared. That one will be a prize.

The true path- Spatualae!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:18 AM

Addendum: No, we let some asshole make the 6000th post while we sit around with our thumb up our ass talking about how much restraint we have.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:16 AM

Om my gosh omy gosh, it's like, oh, it's like. Words just cannot explain. Yes, 6000. Not a game for dial-up players!

Now I'll go out and take on the day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:15 AM

The restraint of MOABites is amazing. As this thread barrels pell-mell toward post #6000 do we go into manic frenzies of posting a la Phlegmenco Ted to try to get there first? No! We are more dignified than that.

We also have a slow-ass dial-up connection, crappy phone service, a shitty ISP, and a worn out computer that could use some more RAM, all of which combines to make loading this thread slow and tedious even in descending order.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,sex thousand
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:14 AM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:14 AM

yep


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:13 AM

5999


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:13 AM

5998


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:04 AM

I've skinned a woodchuck--there's lots of fat in those suckers. You don't need to add any extra oil in that marinade or barbecue sauce. Another real greasy critter that I've skinned out is the armadillo.

Why, you ask, did I skin these and other critters? I am a naturalist by training, and I used these skins in interpretive programs. Snakes, rabbits, squirrels, coyote, and the most impressive, the head of an alligator gar (boiled in a big galvanized bucket to get the excess fat off of it--a 75 pounder caught in a Louisianna bayou where I worked as a Corps of Engineers ranger for a little while).

I don't recall using a spatula on any of these noble critters. Just my pocket knife.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:00 AM

You mean the groundhog's range comes that close to Floribama? Central Alabama? Heck, that's only a three hour drive north of here. Maybe I'll jump in the van and haul ass up to those hills north of Birmingham and see if I can find one. Then again, maybe I won't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:56 AM

did you know Vancouver Island has it's very own version of the groundhog? But it is one of the most endangered mammels -

the island is the only place it exists and it is down to a population of under 100


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:54 AM

I dunno, Mario. I was out in the backyard last Fall and saw one mighty big squirrel beat up a golfer and take both his nuts and his balls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:52 AM

the Feast of St. Philip of Puxatawney is properly celebrated by the consumption of pork sausage in as many guises as possible, supplemented by dishes made with ground ham, or ground bacon.

Other activities associated with the feast of this saint is the ceremonial tossing of cabers (wood "chucking") - or ritual moving of fireplace logs from place to place by tossing them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:50 AM

Did you know that the groundhog is a member of the squirrel family? the biggest one at that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:48 AM

Woodchucks/Groundhogs are found over east central Alaska and across southern Canada to the Pacific coastal provinces, extending south to northern Idaho. They are also distributed in the eastern United States (south to central Alabama and Arkansas)and westward to the edge of the plains


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:44 AM

Only if they are threatening your life or the life of another.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:13 AM

Can you shoot spatualas if you find them breaking into your thread at 2 am, and does anybody know any good recipies for them?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:08 AM

WARNING!!!!


The spatulas have escaped from the "How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???" thread! They have begun to spread outward and are infecting other threads. Two threads having to do with chocolate, one having to do with Muppets and one having to do with Schenectady some damned city in New York have all reported infections. There is a strong likelihood other threads will be infected before the night is over. At this point we can only advise that you use extreme caution when entering an unfamiliar thread. Max is attempting to download the latest release of Norton's Anti-Spatula software, but is having to wait until somebody's download of Microsoft Advanced Shitlist Maintenance Plus finishes.


Oh by the way, those are some fine recipes there, Chet. Just be sure that you use a nice clean spatula to take that groundhog off of the fire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:46 PM

I've never eaten groundhog before. I wonder if the taste like dirty pork?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chester Field
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:37 PM

EEE-HAW you folks are talking my lingo now yes sir and howdy do. i gotsome fine ways of making your ground hog day special. so i'll give ya some of my grannies favrite ways of cookin up that fat squirrel brother.


Trailer Park Groundhog

Take gun (.22 cal is good). Load with bullets and accurately fire at head [Ed. Note: We're assuming the groundhog's head, not your own].

Skin groundhog and gut him. Clean out carcass with waterhose.

Cut critter into quarters.

Make up a big batch of your favorite marinade (make sure it has oil and vinegar to help tenderize the groundhog).

Throw marinade and critter pieces into plastic trash bag and marinade around 2 to 3 days in the refrigerator.

Take out marinated critter pieces and throw on the grill on low heat. Cook until rare to medium rare. Do not overcook, critter will dry out.

And no one likes their critter dry.


Country-Style Groundhog

1 groundhog
1/2 c. flour
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1/4 c. cooking oil
1/2 tsp. sugar

Clean and skin as soon as possible. Remove all sent glands. Cut off head, feet and tail. Cure in cool place by suspending from hook approximately 4 days.

When ready to cook, lard according to recipe.

Dress groundhog as you would a rabbit, removing the small sacs in the back and under the forearm. Soak groundhog overnight in salted water to remove wild flavor.

Combine flour, salt and pepper; rub into groundhog pieces. Brown grounhog in hot oil in skillet; sprinkle with sugar. Reduce heat and add 1/2 cup water. Cover and simmer for about 30 minutes or until tender. Remove cover and cook for 10 minutes longer.


Boil & Bake Groundhog from "Cookin' With Home Storage" by Peggy Layton and Vicki Tate.

Skin and clean the groundhog. Boil until tender. Remove from the water and season with salt, pepper and red pepper. Bake in an oven at 350°F. or cook over an open fire.


see you folks later. chester


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 09:48 PM

We're goin' out to hunt groundhog, YOWZA!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 09:09 PM

Arg, it was groundhog day and I missed it? See the evils of leaving the country, you miss all the good holidays, I hear about it but it's alreayd 2 AM on Feb 3 here. And groundhog day is the best holiday beacause...um...how is it you celebrate groundhog day again? And the moral of the story is never leave the United States. I missed Thanksgiving, and holloween just wasn't the same, and Presidents' day, and Mr. Luther King Jr. birthday, labor day...I did gain Guy Fawkes day and Sowain and Beltane, and New Years eve was called Hogmany which made it infinitely better, and bank holidays! Holidays where the only point of the holiday is that there's no classes. We need some of those in the US


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 08:43 PM

In honor of hedgehog ... er groundhog ... er day check out this game It needs the Shockwave player.

:)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 08:30 PM

Today is Groundhog Day. I hope you northerners had a good one but, ya know, Groundhog Day is a pretty meaningless occurence for those of us living in the deep south where there are no groundhogs.

To remedy this oversight, I propose that tomorrow, February 3, be proclaimed "Armadillo Day". I'm still working out the details as to what the armadillo will predict and exactly how he will go about doing his predicting. Maybe something like "If the armadillo sees his shadow..." Nah! That won't work. Armadillos are damned near blind. He'd never see his shadow under any circumstances. Oh! Here ya go! "If the armadillo crosses the road without being hit by a car..." Nah! Let's stick with things that might actually happen.

Well, it's pretty obvious that it's not gonna work. I mean, the armadillo is the stupidest mammal on the face of the earth. Might as well try to get a rock to fetch a stick.

How about Possum Day? We've got lots of possums too. Nah! Possums are just as blind as armadillos. And they aren't exactly champions at crossing the road either. Heck, they're not much more than armadillos with fur.

Maybe we'll just call Tweed and see if the buzzards have started roosting on his lawn chairs yet. Then if thy're roosting we could say that there's some underlying cosmic bullshit meaning, and if they're not roosting we could say there's some other underlying cosmic bullshit meaning. Yeah! That'll do. And we could call it... Tweed Day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 07:16 PM

Hotfe Dome!!! So gladt you could gain yer freedom, Meinheer Rapaire!!

Ve vere chust aboudt to seel der submarin!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 06:48 PM

I'm free.

It wasn't easy, but I escaped. So you don't have to give in to their demands now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 03:51 PM

Oh dear.

My mom had a friend who taught me to count in dutch. But that was when I was five. I can't remember it anymore. Does that change the situation? I'm worried. :>

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 03:36 PM

What did you say about a Dutch girl and a submarine? And is she true blue or simply a little depressed?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hans Heidens Anderson
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 03:11 PM

Surrender Erope or ve vill return Raperhe. Du have until 17:00 to gat everyone out. Ve are not kiding.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 02:36 PM

Stands to reason you'd feel funny about standing to pee, Rusty.

But the clarity of your exposition is completely persuasive!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 02:02 PM

I'm not to sure standing up to pee
Is all that reasonable to me.

Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 09:28 AM

MManatee Manatee Alert!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 09:19 AM

Hymn execute? If yer gonna turn this into a music thread, pal, you'll have to move upstairs. You're in the wrong department. This is BS.

I used to know a choir gal who practiced murder on hymns, but it could hardly be called execution; the Governor wouldn't stand still for it. Butchery, maybe.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hans Heidens Anderson
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 09:11 AM

Ve haf Rapaire and ve vill hymn execute if you people do not stop and leave. Do not speak to other of this or about the blue Dutch girl and the submarine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 08:35 AM

It means that you should stand up and reason! In fact, the human mind and brain are so designed that they will ONLY function correctly when the body is standing erect. Nature or God or the Goddess or who/whatever designed people that way so that when they thought and reasoned they wouldn't have their head up their ass, but it didn't work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 08:34 AM

why none of the listed are the reasons 5941.8 posts are significant (as are multiple of that number...)

One could say it's a fiber thing...but that's just a pun on the english.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 08:17 AM

It stands (up) to (the application of someone trying to) reason (it out) that something should be true, correct, in alignment with known facts, or dodgy, facile assumptions.

I thinks that what it must mean -- stands to reason that would be it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 02:30 AM

This=BS thread; not=speeling n' grammer tread.

tErEsA


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 01:06 AM

What the hell does "stands to reason" mean? Everybody says it, but do we just say it because everybody else says it? Wouldn't "withstands the test of reason" be more accurate? I mean "stands to reason" makes no grammatical sense. "Stands to pee" makes grammatical sense, but not "stands to reason".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:40 AM

Dear Shiney,
Maybe you should think about someone else's nose. A Michael Jackson nose might get you in trouble, might make you want to sniff more boy butt or something. So how is your sense of smell since the operation? Does the smell of fart bring back fond boyhood memories?
Love, Rustin'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:23 AM

Well, duh, Mr/Ms. B. This IS the MOAB after all. We need to take the measure of your contributions, see how they average in to the total, before we can decide the veracity of your advice regarding numeral matters. And quite frankly, it isn't "they" that I'm worried about.

It's that beknighted sod Bill Shatner we really need to watch out for.

Okay, who said something that got the Google ads to start listing sites for Asian plastic surgery? Where are our standard tree-hugger and adult literacy generic public service announcements?

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:18 AM

It's gotta be the P-wave velocities obtained from the PWS3 on split cores ...stands to reason!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 06:30 PM

Didn't I say it was a secret. If we keep talking about it, they'll find out. Why does nobody take me seriously?

Bunnahabhain.


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