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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Amos 02 Feb 05 - 02:36 PM
GUEST 02 Feb 05 - 02:02 PM
GUEST,MMario 02 Feb 05 - 09:28 AM
GUEST,Amos 02 Feb 05 - 09:19 AM
GUEST,Hans Heidens Anderson 02 Feb 05 - 09:11 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 02 Feb 05 - 08:35 AM
GUEST,MMario 02 Feb 05 - 08:34 AM
GUEST,Amos 02 Feb 05 - 08:17 AM
Teresa 02 Feb 05 - 02:30 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Feb 05 - 01:06 AM
Rustic Rebel 02 Feb 05 - 12:40 AM
Acme 02 Feb 05 - 12:23 AM
Amos 02 Feb 05 - 12:18 AM
Bunnahabhain 01 Feb 05 - 06:30 PM
Acme 01 Feb 05 - 06:21 PM
GUEST,Shiney Knause 01 Feb 05 - 05:49 PM
Amos 01 Feb 05 - 04:37 PM
Rustic Rebel 01 Feb 05 - 04:26 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 05 - 03:47 PM
Rustic Rebel 01 Feb 05 - 03:33 PM
GUEST,MMario 01 Feb 05 - 01:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Feb 05 - 01:16 PM
Jim Tailor 01 Feb 05 - 12:52 PM
Bunnahabhain 01 Feb 05 - 12:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Feb 05 - 12:09 PM
GUEST,MMario 01 Feb 05 - 12:09 PM
GUEST,MMario 01 Feb 05 - 12:03 PM
Bunnahabhain 01 Feb 05 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 01 Feb 05 - 11:38 AM
GUEST,MMario 01 Feb 05 - 11:32 AM
Acme 01 Feb 05 - 11:12 AM
GUEST,MMario 01 Feb 05 - 11:09 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Feb 05 - 10:57 AM
Rapparee 01 Feb 05 - 08:19 AM
Amos 01 Feb 05 - 01:07 AM
Acme 31 Jan 05 - 11:52 PM
Rustic Rebel 31 Jan 05 - 10:32 PM
GUEST,Mother 31 Jan 05 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 05 - 10:00 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 05 - 09:49 PM
Rustic Rebel 31 Jan 05 - 08:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 05 - 08:19 PM
Amos 31 Jan 05 - 08:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 05 - 07:32 PM
GUEST,Shiney Knause 31 Jan 05 - 05:14 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 05 - 03:48 PM
Rustic Rebel 31 Jan 05 - 03:18 PM
GUEST,The croakin' brothers 31 Jan 05 - 03:06 PM
Amos 31 Jan 05 - 02:41 PM
Acme 31 Jan 05 - 01:22 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 02:36 PM

Stands to reason you'd feel funny about standing to pee, Rusty.

But the clarity of your exposition is completely persuasive!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 02:02 PM

I'm not to sure standing up to pee
Is all that reasonable to me.

Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 09:28 AM

MManatee Manatee Alert!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 09:19 AM

Hymn execute? If yer gonna turn this into a music thread, pal, you'll have to move upstairs. You're in the wrong department. This is BS.

I used to know a choir gal who practiced murder on hymns, but it could hardly be called execution; the Governor wouldn't stand still for it. Butchery, maybe.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hans Heidens Anderson
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 09:11 AM

Ve haf Rapaire and ve vill hymn execute if you people do not stop and leave. Do not speak to other of this or about the blue Dutch girl and the submarine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 08:35 AM

It means that you should stand up and reason! In fact, the human mind and brain are so designed that they will ONLY function correctly when the body is standing erect. Nature or God or the Goddess or who/whatever designed people that way so that when they thought and reasoned they wouldn't have their head up their ass, but it didn't work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 08:34 AM

why none of the listed are the reasons 5941.8 posts are significant (as are multiple of that number...)

One could say it's a fiber thing...but that's just a pun on the english.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 08:17 AM

It stands (up) to (the application of someone trying to) reason (it out) that something should be true, correct, in alignment with known facts, or dodgy, facile assumptions.

I thinks that what it must mean -- stands to reason that would be it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 02:30 AM

This=BS thread; not=speeling n' grammer tread.

tErEsA


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 01:06 AM

What the hell does "stands to reason" mean? Everybody says it, but do we just say it because everybody else says it? Wouldn't "withstands the test of reason" be more accurate? I mean "stands to reason" makes no grammatical sense. "Stands to pee" makes grammatical sense, but not "stands to reason".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:40 AM

Dear Shiney,
Maybe you should think about someone else's nose. A Michael Jackson nose might get you in trouble, might make you want to sniff more boy butt or something. So how is your sense of smell since the operation? Does the smell of fart bring back fond boyhood memories?
Love, Rustin'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:23 AM

Well, duh, Mr/Ms. B. This IS the MOAB after all. We need to take the measure of your contributions, see how they average in to the total, before we can decide the veracity of your advice regarding numeral matters. And quite frankly, it isn't "they" that I'm worried about.

It's that beknighted sod Bill Shatner we really need to watch out for.

Okay, who said something that got the Google ads to start listing sites for Asian plastic surgery? Where are our standard tree-hugger and adult literacy generic public service announcements?

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:18 AM

It's gotta be the P-wave velocities obtained from the PWS3 on split cores ...stands to reason!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 06:30 PM

Didn't I say it was a secret. If we keep talking about it, they'll find out. Why does nobody take me seriously?

Bunnahabhain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 06:21 PM

MMario,

Which of these do you consider the difinitive information regarding 5941.8?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shiney Knause
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 05:49 PM

Dear Rusty,

You ere disrememberin' th' story of me an' my brother Sheney. Yas, we wuz whatchacall "conjoint twins", but we weren't conjoint butt-crack t' nose/butt-crack t' nose. It were only my nose conjointed t' his butt-crack. Tha's whut gived him such a sooperior attitude all th' time.

Ennyways, I hav fount my brither Sheney! An' thut Bee-dubyer feller wuz right. Sheney runned off wif all my moneys. But Sheney din't run too far. He only went a few mile up th' road t' whar a buncha hippies lives at this place called a "ashram". Thar's this littl bitty ol' feller whut runs th' place name uh Baba Bahnahna Dakree. All th' hippies thut live thar sorta worships th' ol' guy an' they all teck turns walkin' aroun' behin' him wif they noses stuck in th' crack uh his butt. Tha's whar I fount my brother Sheney, wif his nose stuck in ol' Baba Bahnahna Dakree's butt-crack. I figger ol' Sheney jus' started feelin' bad about all th' times he mistreated an' badmoufed me an' thut he wuz tryin' t' whatchacall meck amminds fer his bad beehavure.

So I had me a talk wif ol' Baba Bahnahna Dakree an' tol' him thet Sheney has stole my money. An' Baba says thut Sheney had gived th' ashram a buncha money but thut if halfa it were mine he wud be glad t' give it back. He were reel nice about it.

So now I gots all this money an' I don' hafta move t' git away from Sheney 'cause it looks like he's gonna live thar on th' ashram an smell ol' Baba's farts fer a long time. So, I thank I'll teck my money an' git some plastick surjerry dun on my nose. It's got a liddle flat spot frum whar thay removed it frum Sheney's butt-crack an' I wanna git it fixed. I'm thankin' about tryin' t' find th' feller whut did Michael Jackson's nose-job. Ya'll reckon tha's a gud ideer?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 04:37 PM

Wow, RR, pretty neat.


Almond oil, huh?


:D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 04:26 PM

Hey Rapaire, you know that real thin skin that's on a boiled egg. Yup, that's the thing that'll draw that boil right out of ya'!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:47 PM

Darn, RR, I didn't know that eggs had skin! I thought you just cracked the shell and out the insides came! I sure didn't know you had to peel 'em first!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:33 PM

You say you got aches? Pains? Problems with your body? Well folks........
The Doctor is in....

Asthma- Get yourself a muskrat skin and wear it over your lungs with the fur side in.
Bed Wetting-Now this all 'depends'. Try a spoon full of honey to help retention.
Bee stings- Apply kerosene.
Boils- The skin of a boiled egg, applied to the boil. Peel the egg carefully and apply wet.
Breasts-(sore, swelled and hard)- Apply hot pancakes made of sour milk,baking soda and wheat flour. Keep them changed often so they will not get cold.
Burns- Take the inner sole of an old shoe and burn it to ashes. Sprinke it on sore. If your on a farm, use a poultice of cow manure if the skin is not broken.
Choking- If a child chokes on a bone, turn him upside down by his feet. This should get the troublesome object ejected.
Colds-Eat lots of raw onions. Head cold- Put pine tar on hot coals and breathe fumes.
Constipation-Begin with one newly layed egg (raw), add to it, 3 times it's bulk of water, take it once in the morning on an empty stomach and once or twice through the course of the day. Continue for 8 or 10 days.
Cough-Take a pinch of salt.
Croup-Dip a piece of fat meat in kerosene oil and bind to baby's throat.
Diarrhea-Burn a regular cork till completely charred, reduce to a fine powder, mix with equal parts of sugar, a tsp of brandy,a little grated nutmeg, a dash of oil of peppermint and a tbl. spoon of water. Tsp doses.
Ears- (wax accumulation)- Apply a couple drops of skunk oil, ell's oil will also work. If you don't have those hedgehog fat, will do.
Corns- Thrust the toe into a lemon and keep it on all night, this will help removal easy.
Flu- make a tea of cayenne pepper. a tbl. in a cup of hot water. Drink before each meal and retiring.
Hayfever- Inhale fumes of ground coffeeover hot coals.
Headache- Exercise on horseback, a cold bath every morning, and attention to diet and bowels.
Insomnia- Wash the head with a decoction of dill seeds and smell it fequently.
Intoxication- A man who is helplessly intoxicated may almost immediately restore his faculties and powers of locomotionby taking half tsp. of ammonium in a glass of water. a wineglassful of strong vinegar may also have some effect.
Kidneys- If kidneys cease functioning, eat soft coconut jelly of the unripe fruit
Pain- (of the spine)- mix beef gall with vinegar, bath the back with it night and morning.
Hemorrhoids- Oil anus night and morning with almond oil. Place a peeled clove of garlic in rectum overnight.Take a natural squatting position at stool.
Worms- Salt and water are good to turn worms. Or, to destroy worms in sickness and in health-take a tbl. of molasses and mix it with a tsp. of the rust of tin.

The Doctor is out....

Sure hope this helps ya'all with some of those complaints.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 01:38 PM

It's all just a matter of making sure you're holding your mouth right while you're doing it.

and your nose. It's really important to hold your nose, unless you can find one of those old fashioned clip clothespins - which you can use as an alternitive , or the swimmers nose-clips.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 01:16 PM

Heck, as I pointed out somewhere down the page (or up the page, depending on whether you're viewing in ascending ot descending order), if I've been out of town a few days I don't bother with reading what's been posted to this mess while I've been away. I just jump back in.

There's no need for continuity. BS, after all, is holographic. The entirety of the MOAB is contained in any single post and you can glean the meaning of the whole shootin' match by reading just a few sentences. It's all just a matter of making sure you're holding your mouth right while you're doing it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:52 PM

I didn't just read this entire thread...

...I copied it off and committed the whole thing to memory.

It just seemed important to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:45 PM

In a sense, yes, as I read the some of the first, and the current posts, which encapsulate the whole thing, and could not exist in its current state without all the earlier posts, or to be precise, no. Heisenburgs uncertainty theory applied to thread means as I know where I am with a fair degree of precision, my velocity, and hence where the thread came from is vauge....

I struggle to understand how anybody else knew about 5941.8, but am now worried. And please don't ask me to explain it, or I'll have to make some more stuff up, probably involving aardvarks.


Bunnahbahain


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:09 PM

C'mon, Bunnahbhain, impress me. Tell me you read the whole thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:09 PM

I find the spatula thread to be inspired!

BTW - do you realize we all seem to have missed claiming the extremly significant 5941 and/or 5942* posts!!!!!

*
the true signifigance would be post 5941.8 - but we can't do fractional posts...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:03 PM

good l*rd, you don't load the entire thread, do you?

Use the little "d" link in the "messages" column to load the thread - you get only the last page, with the newest messages at the top of the thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:58 AM

Well, that's the spatuala thread explained. I was wondering what this shadowy cabal, bound together only by their willingness to load 5949+ posts, and not be driven sane by it, were up to...

Mother, can I have some sourdough, or is it still too hot from the oven?

Bunnahbhain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:38 AM

Moooooooooooooooooooooooom! Stilly's bein' mean to Mario!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:32 AM

Hey! ! was suppossed to be the youngest child - ended up a middle child - and was the "baby boy" for 9 years. It was in all three of my job descriptions!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:12 AM

Tattle tail


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:09 AM

Amos used the "O" word!!!! To a lady! MOM!

Amos used the "O" word!

shudder


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 10:57 AM

I used to use Thunderbird. But only when Boone's Farm wasn't available. Thunderbird made me talk in Anguish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 08:19 AM

Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!! They're talking like that again!!!!!

Me, I use Thunderbird since my Netscape vanished last Saturday (goddammt!).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 01:07 AM

Well, Eudora runs great under 10.x, and you can play with Safari and be righteous and non-Wintel to your heart's content. You can get a Mozilla or a Foxfire.

Thanks for clarifying where you stand.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:52 PM

That wasn't Mom, that was that imposter again. As MOAB said, she doesn't need to log on as a f**kin' guest!

Amos--listen carefully--

Outlook?

NEVER!!!

Pegasus, Eudora, Mozilla Thunderbird, I'm using them all. I used to use Netscape Communicator (the old one). I haven't updated to the new one because AOL bought it and messed it up. We're stuck with Outlook at work, but I would never use it voluntarily.

Okay, back to the spatulas. Moonglow went and rifled my drawers. I think she missed a few (I didn't point out that the top drawer in the Hoosier Kitchen probably has extras from my Dad's house, 'cause I didn't have room with the other utensils).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:32 PM

You got me laughing out loud on that one Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mother
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:26 PM

Sure, Rapaire!!Here ya go...I'm the one on the far left.

Mom


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:00 PM

Mom, ya know, I think that you should post your picture and profile. I mean, you're famous and all, and lots of 'Catters want to know what you look like and stuff about you.

Could you do that, please? Not only for us, your devoted whatchamacallits, but mostly for all the thousands of other Mudcatters around the world and even for the GUESTS who visit from other worlds.

Thanks, Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:49 PM

Okay. It was worth it.


HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!! SNORT!!! SNORFLE!!! GIGGLE!!! PEE IN PANTS!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:21 PM

Shiney,
If you find your brother Sheney will you tell him for me that being he had his nose attached to your ass, and you had your nose attached to his ass, and that I never realized this about him until now, that the invite is retracted.
I don't want him to go to Tweeds house and sniff his underwear for me anymore. How can that sweet person endure more than he already has?
Thanks. Rusty


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:19 PM

Well shit! Looks like I'm finally gonna have to get down on my hands and knees and connect the speakers to the computer. I forgot to do it when I put the thing pack together and haven't really wanted to be bothered with it until now. But if Amos thinks I would appreciate whatever it is, I guess I'll do it. It better be good!

I hope that wasn't too much technospeak for Mom. Using "connect" and "computer" both in the same sentence.... I certainly don't want to be sent to the corner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:05 PM

Bee Dubya, ya sound a tad bitter, and Rapaire sounds like he's been skating on the verge for some time.

I suspect y'all BOTH need the perfect vacation for you day dreamin' boyo types.

Enjoy!!

Love,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:32 PM

Errr... Mr. Knause? Mmmm... Not quite sure how to tell you this, but it sounds like your brother may have stiffed you. You know, absconded with the loot. Took the money and hauled ass. Not a very brotherly thing to do, if you ask me. But then I never had a brother with whom I was joined nose-to-butt-crack for most of my life. I did once have a co-worker who kept his nose glued to the boss's ass, but that's different.

But, hey, look, I'm not here to talk about your problems, you old reprobate. I'm here to be sure that all my MOABite friends post to the How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own??? thread. In my quest to start the World's Stupidest Thread it was the stupidest question I could come up with. I really need everyone's help to push it up near 100 posts so Flamingo Shithead can attempt to make the 100th post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shiney Knause
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:14 PM

Howdy ya'll! I ain't been aroun' here in a while. It's good t' see you buncha folks is still at it. Amis is still fulla it which means he mus' still be livin' in Caleefornia. That Rapeer boy's runnin' a close secont though, so look out, Amis. An' I see's Mizz Rusty Rebel's still hangin' out here. It mus' be purty cold in Minnesoter 'cause she be wearin' clothes. My brother Sheney Knause wuz kinda sweet on her, weren't he?

Ennyways, tha's whut I come here fer, is t' ask if ya'll's seen my brother Sheney. Ya know we had a operashun t' git my nose outta his butt-crack so's we ain't whatcha call "conjoined twins" no more. It shore has made life a whole lot simpler. An' it smells better too. We wus bofe able t' git real jobs an' start savin' up sum money so's we cud git as far away from each other as possible. Well, all th' money we'd saved up done went missin' an' I ain't seed hide ner hair of Sheeny in a month. I'm afeared he has met wif foul play of sum sort.

If ya'll hears from Sheney, gimme a holler. Ya hear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 03:48 PM

Tomorrow night I am doing a presentation which will combine the best of the old and the new, the low tech and the high tech, to the Student Leadership Institute at Idaho State University.

I'm gonna do one of the powerpoint-like things, but I'm also gonna be using flint and steel firestarting stuff! Yes! Flint and steel (and I don't mean a lighter). A piece of steel and a rock, just like great great great grandpa used to use! During a program burned to a CD and projected onto a screen from a laptop computer via a computer projector!

I also have slide rules for when the batteries fail and the sun goes out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 03:18 PM

That sounded like computers to me! Oh hell did I mention computers again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The croakin' brothers
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 03:06 PM

Our friend Miss Rebel called us up to come over and do you'all a simple rendition of Froggy went-a-courtin and here we go.

ze ribbir ze ribbit we chirppy croak
aaw-huh, aaw-huh
ze ribbir ze ribbit we chirppy croak
aaw-huh, aaw-huh
ze ribbir ze ribbit we chirppy croak
whiz awhiz awhiza chee croaky chirp
ze ribbir ze ribbit we chirppy croak
aaw-huh, aaw-huh

that'll be all now ya hear?

Catch our friends here


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 02:41 PM

Hell, Stilly, all your Word Excel, Powerpoint docs would move right on over, and your IE bookmarks and your mail addresses and mailboxes too (I assume you're using Outlook). But you seem pretty content with what you've got -- certainly no sense disrupting a system that works ok!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 01:22 PM

Some would suggest that all of this computer chat is one of the biggest loads of BS around. Mom shouldn't get bent out of shape about it. Especially when Mac Zealots start posting reviews!

Spoken by a PC user who hasn't bothered to try to make the switch because she's afraid that too many of her files wouldn't convert to the available software, or her programs wouldn't all install on the Mac, blah blah blah . . .


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