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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rustic Rebel 29 Apr 04 - 09:44 PM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 04 - 09:09 PM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 05:21 PM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 04 - 05:21 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 05:15 PM
GUEST 29 Apr 04 - 04:29 PM
CarolC 29 Apr 04 - 04:28 PM
TheBigPinkLad 29 Apr 04 - 04:20 PM
GUEST 29 Apr 04 - 04:18 PM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 04:13 PM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 04 - 04:10 PM
GUEST 29 Apr 04 - 03:48 PM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 04 - 03:35 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 01:55 PM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 01:07 PM
Acme 29 Apr 04 - 12:58 PM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 12:04 PM
CarolC 29 Apr 04 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 11:59 AM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 11:51 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 11:40 AM
GUEST 29 Apr 04 - 11:30 AM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 11:24 AM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 04 - 11:17 AM
GUEST,MMario 29 Apr 04 - 10:46 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Apr 04 - 10:42 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 09:40 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Apr 04 - 01:14 AM
CarolC 29 Apr 04 - 12:01 AM
Amos 28 Apr 04 - 11:51 PM
Acme 28 Apr 04 - 11:43 PM
Amos 28 Apr 04 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 04 - 11:08 PM
CarolC 28 Apr 04 - 10:23 PM
Amos 28 Apr 04 - 08:46 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 04 - 05:16 PM
Amos 28 Apr 04 - 04:05 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 04 - 03:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Apr 04 - 12:18 PM
Little Hawk 28 Apr 04 - 07:53 AM
42 28 Apr 04 - 06:20 AM
Kampervan 27 Apr 04 - 04:00 PM
Rustic Rebel 27 Apr 04 - 03:42 PM
Little Hawk 27 Apr 04 - 03:11 PM
GUEST,MMario 27 Apr 04 - 03:00 PM
Kampervan 27 Apr 04 - 02:49 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 04 - 02:40 PM
GUEST,Mrs. Bee 27 Apr 04 - 02:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Apr 04 - 02:19 PM
Amos 27 Apr 04 - 11:31 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 09:44 PM

I too pleasure in the frittered way of MOAB's.
Animal appetite has resulted in eating crow pie and drinking beer, while suckling on a rhubarb stick in the middle of an orgasmic asparagus field.
Dribbling growth, while moulting our feathers and still we can fly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 09:09 PM

Hmmm. Bizarre interjections seem to prompt interesting responses sometimes. Okay...

Nigglethworpe!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 05:21 PM

ANd the "th" is silent in "aether", too.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 05:21 PM

Amos, you were right. Please note that I have improved upon Guest's contribution in the new BS thread "Sang one Little Hawk...Dipwallow".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 05:15 PM

We don't drink no stinkin' d on this thread.

Beer, man, beer's the stuff to drink!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:29 PM

the "d" in keyboard is silent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:28 PM

GUEST rhymed aether and keyboard. That's even more outrageous than the time when I rhymed Argentia and adventure. GUEST needs some more beer. Publican! Oh, publican!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:20 PM

I enjoy a quickie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:18 PM

biblical sheep farmer from Tejua:

masticate upon a holy relic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:13 PM

It's very funny, but, no, it is not perfect. I wish you had selected a more precise set of rhymes and found a cognitive pattern more closely matched to the original. It would have elevated the whole effort. But it is very good for a quicky!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:10 PM

Oh, my! That is just wonderful! Thank you, thank you. I'm going to print it, laminate it, and hang it on my wall. It's perfect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 03:48 PM

On a tree by a river sat a Little Hawk
Sang "Wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow!"
And 'twas said "Is relic true, Holy shit?"
Singing 'Wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow'?"
"Oh Mo-ab-ite, wise Little Hawk !" then I cried,
"Or just a figment fantastic from your inscrutible mind?"
With a shake of his Little Hawk head, he replied,
"Oh, wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow!"

He composed many a post, as he perched in the aether,
Singing "Wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow!"
And a cold perspiration bedecked his keyboard,
Oh, wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow!
He ranted and posted and called on 'The Kirk"
Then he praised William Shatner (tho' Shatner's a Jerk)
And an echo returned via technical wave
"Oh, wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 03:35 PM

Dipwallow!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 01:55 PM

Is holy shit a relic?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 01:07 PM

Holy SHit!! Never mind the beer!! Did you read this part?

Despite their unfortunate beginning, the descendants of Moab became quite numerous and powerful, and were often connected to Bible History (e.g. Numbers 22:3-14, Judges 3:30, 2 Samuel 8:2, Jeremiah 48:11-13). Good and righteous Ruth was a Moabite (Ruth 1:4), and her descendants, through her great-grandson King David (Ruth 4:13-22), formed one of the lines from which Jesus Christ was descended. (Matthew 1:1-17, Luke 3:23-38)


Moab to Ruth to David to Joseph and Mary and it's a slam dunk triple play!! Legitimacy is no longer relevant!! Talk about original sin!! These guys are all over that little problem!! Git down, MOAB!! ANd of course, the trouble was started by two gals putting their heads together, never a good idea...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:58 PM

I'm glad someone is paying attention to the beer, CarolC!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:04 PM

Oh, Rapaire, you have been too long resident in the Encyclopedia!! (That's E-N-C-Y-C-Elloopee-ee-deee-eye-ayyyy, Jiminy!) You need to get out more. Seduction of one's own parents is taboo, man, tabu, no-no, nicht gerweit, not done, non-you, outre, gauche, faux pas and also frowned upon.

But, as is evidenced by historical antecedents, being a criominal doesn't prevent you from prospering.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:03 PM

That Bible is a very weird place. Just like this MOAB. As without, so, also, within. If you don't want your beer, I'll have it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:59 AM

Huh? What corrupt beginnings? MOAB shares beginnings as lustrous as those of most nations, of great families such as that of Richard Coeur de Lion or Hank Tudor or Sawney Bean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:51 AM

Guest's informative link makes it clear that in its most essential form, MOAB, and all its descendents, are born in taboo and contaminated by excessive sharing of a most incestuous sort. From these unnatural beginnings, which are anathema to all right-thinkers everywhere, MOAB has spread across the plains and propsered and multiplied. But it will never fully escape the dark secret of its corrupt beginnings...never!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:40 AM

Relevancy is Irrelevant. Fiction is Truth. Les is Moore. And vice-versa and versa-vice.

Therefore, MOAB has become that which is real, and what is considered "Reality" is a mere pseudo-appendage to MOAB, destined to wither away and drop off.

And so, dudes and dudettes, I can say only one thing: Wow! Way cool!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:30 AM

MOAB


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:24 AM

I ain't drinking no bears, man. Not even for MOAB!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:17 AM

Pifflesnort!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 10:46 AM

obviously being served with beer would not be a punishment - so it is most likely that Satin - Lord of Hul9 confused the issue during translation - the original was obviously meant to specify BEARS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 10:42 AM

A post may or may not be relevant, but its relevance is irrelevant. It's sorta like farts that don't smell.

See? My second sentence has absolutely no connection to the first (at least in normally functioning brains) but that irrelevance is totally irrelevant because this is the MOAB!

Hah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 09:40 AM

So Amos' earlier posting in Amos' own Bible book is irrelevant. Whoa! This here MOAB sure does beat all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 01:14 AM

Of course Matthew 18:18 has nothing to do with the subject of Rap's post! This is the MOAB! Relevance is irrelevant!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:01 AM

That's really uncanny that you were in the Bible talking about the Moab, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 11:51 PM

As regards my Past Identity in Days of Yore:

Amos 2
1 This is what the LORD says:

"For three sins of Moab,
even for four, I will not turn back {my wrath}.
Because he burned, as if to lime,
the bones of Edom's king,
2 I will send fire upon Moab
that will consume the fortresses of Kerioth. [8]
Moab will go down in great tumult
amid war cries and the blast of the trumpet.
3 I will destroy her ruler
and kill all her officials with him,"
says the LORD .

4 This is what the LORD says:

"For three sins of Judah,
even for four, I will not turn back {my wrath}.
Because they have rejected the law of the LORD
and have not kept his decrees,
because they have been led astray by false gods, [9]
the gods [10] their ancestors followed,
5 I will send fire upon Judah
that will consume the fortresses of Jerusalem."


Seems like it really is coming true, man. Scary...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 11:43 PM

It's Miller time in the Land of Sky Blue Waters! Beer for all of these Hamms! And what will they all eat with their beer? Kippered snacks made from alewife!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 11:23 PM

And if he looses beer upon us on earth, then we shall revel in unloosed beer above, in Lyke Wyse? O, Carol, now I see why they named you Queen of the Crappers!! For behold, there is great wisdom in it!!

So, publican!! Beer all around!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 11:08 PM

Well, it was the only scripture reference that occurred to me at the time, actually. I can find others if you'd like.

Gen.10:2-31 comes to mind. As does Amos 2:1-2, but don't blame ME for what Amos says there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 10:23 PM

I don't know, Amos. Take this part:

let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican

I think that means that rather than eating crow, he's supposed to serve us beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 08:46 PM

I was raised to always respect librarians. With all due respect , therefore, I would offer the thought that Matthew 18:18:

17   And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
18   Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.


...has little or nothing to do with it whatsoever. WhatsoEHHHver!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 05:16 PM

I was younger and far more innocent, full of the joy and aspirations of youth, hoping against hope that Mother would succeed. Oh, for those long-lost days of yesteryear, when I would blithely log on, a smile full of the promises of the future upon my boyish face. Oh, my lost youth! Oh, to recover and live again those days of yore! Little do we know when we dribble them away that we are dribbling away our lives, that our futures are being so unconcernedly frittered away in wine, in song, in the pleasures of the moment, with never a thought for the future. But no, not I! I was concerned, even then, for MOAB, for Mother's future. And so I posted, sharing with others my concerns for the future. But all the rest of you, given up as you are to dissipation and revelry, wallowing in disgusting lusts and sating your animal appetites, drinking and wenching or knaving without a thought to Mother's future, couldn't have cared less. NAY, I say! Me? The only one who cared? Eat crow? NAY, I say again! For it is written in Matthew 18:18 that I need not do so!

So there. Nyah.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 04:05 PM

I just want to point out that the good Rapaire, whose humility is a source of great pride to all of us, needs to ea some crow for this infamous ancient post back in the dawning days of the MOAB:

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire - PM
Date: 31 May 03 - 09:48 AM

With the 'Cat going down for ten days....
Will this thread ever reach 500 posts?


I don't think any more need be said...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 03:21 PM

Does anyone know if Khandu will be among us then, eating cake and tossing cookiies, I mean confetti?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 12:18 PM

Just a week 'til Mom's birthday!!! Hooray!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 07:53 AM

Listen, people...go NOW and check the link in the first post of the "Lunacy on Ebay" thread...it's amazing, and getting more amazing by the hour!

I kid you not. Read the whole thing.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 06:20 AM

I thought the Klingons were our allies. What happened?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kampervan
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 04:00 PM

Rustic Rebel - The only smoking those Klingons are doing is cos of a photon torpedo up their ass.

Now I know Ford is the all-american dream luv machine. But this vee-dubya's been round the clock, sgot a king-sized dreamin' room and a power amp to blow everything includin the top of your head.

So who see's what in the smoke signals from the Black Hills now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 03:42 PM

Thanks Rapaire- I've been searching ths sky for days now and haven't been able to see anything yet. Could be because of clouds, but I still search.

Kampervan- I have one of those vee-dubya's too but it's not like the love machine, Ford driven', rough riden', red den of infamy.
(not liking to mention the vee is sitten' up on the hill right now needing a clutch)
Smoking?? It's the Klingons that are doing it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 03:11 PM

The greatest Klingon-ass-kickin'-son-of-a-gun of all time is, of course, Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner), and it is HE who will save the day...but I agree that Jean-Luc Picard could probably do a great job at it too. Maybe they will both team up on it. If so, the Klingons are doubly doomed.

Meanwhile, what is happening in Schenectady?????? Has the "City of Blight" been affected?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 03:00 PM

at least we're not (most of us) in Germany - where I understand the Klingons now have an annual festival.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kampervan
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 02:49 PM

Well ive read some of this here thread an I'm getting to understand a biddy bit of it.

Helltyre and drivation Rustic Rebel. What have you bin smokin?
Ma Kampervan aint Ford-made - its a VEE DUBYA.
It was built in startime datum log nineteen hunnerd an fast asleep. An its the only surfmobile to beat the shee-it out of a Klingon battleship with a cloaking device.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 02:40 PM

Mrs. Bee, how can you tell that this behavior is abnormal?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs. Bee
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 02:28 PM

HELP!!!! Bee-dubya's gone inta shock or somethin'! He's froze to his chair with his fingers on th' computer's keyboard an' all he can do is mutter somethin' that sounds like, "Ohmigod! Holy fuckin' shit! Jimmy Carter's a Klingon!" over an' over again! HELP!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 02:19 PM

See! I knew it was true! CarolC and Jack the Sailor have seen the Klingons in Atlanta too! If they're in Atlanta now, can Macon and Athens and Columbus be far behind? Then what about Tallahassee and Jacksonville and Destin (nevermind - they can have fuckin' Destin) and my own lovely Floribama?

The answer is obvious! There's only one man who can save us!

And that man is........

Patrick Stewart (aka Captain Jean-Luc Picard)

By the way, as I am typing this, there is a Google Public Service Ad for The Carter Center just below the message box. My Klingon sighting took place mere blocks from The Carter Center. A coincidence? I think not!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 11:31 AM

I yam glad to hear thet sumone on thuh MOAB is awayer of the Imminence of the Transcendant Rupture and will be prepared for it.

It can also be brought on by heavy lifting, I believe.

A


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