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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Kim C 12 Jul 03 - 12:02 AM
Rapparee 11 Jul 03 - 09:40 PM
GUEST,Thespian 11 Jul 03 - 09:03 PM
GUEST,Thespian 11 Jul 03 - 09:01 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 03 - 07:50 PM
Little Hawk 11 Jul 03 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 03 - 11:59 AM
GUEST,MMario 11 Jul 03 - 10:53 AM
Kim C 11 Jul 03 - 10:36 AM
Amos 11 Jul 03 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 11 Jul 03 - 09:39 AM
Kim C 11 Jul 03 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 11 Jul 03 - 08:57 AM
GUEST,Thespian 10 Jul 03 - 10:45 PM
Rustic Rebel 08 Jul 03 - 10:16 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 03 - 08:07 AM
CarolC 07 Jul 03 - 08:31 PM
Rapparee 07 Jul 03 - 08:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jul 03 - 07:02 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 03 - 01:00 PM
GUEST 06 Jul 03 - 06:36 AM
C-flat 06 Jul 03 - 05:53 AM
Amos 06 Jul 03 - 01:22 AM
Little Hawk 06 Jul 03 - 12:46 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jul 03 - 09:19 PM
GUEST,Bubba Bubba 05 Jul 03 - 08:45 PM
Tweed 05 Jul 03 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 03 - 02:00 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jul 03 - 12:22 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 03 - 10:38 AM
Little Hawk 05 Jul 03 - 12:54 AM
Rapparee 04 Jul 03 - 05:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jul 03 - 01:36 PM
Rapparee 04 Jul 03 - 12:38 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jul 03 - 12:08 PM
Rapparee 04 Jul 03 - 10:32 AM
Rapparee 03 Jul 03 - 08:39 PM
Kim C 03 Jul 03 - 01:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jul 03 - 01:18 PM
Rapparee 03 Jul 03 - 09:12 AM
the lemonade lady 03 Jul 03 - 08:29 AM
Tweed 03 Jul 03 - 06:58 AM
the lemonade lady 03 Jul 03 - 05:57 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 03 - 09:59 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jul 03 - 09:53 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 03 - 09:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Jul 03 - 08:59 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 03 - 05:16 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jul 03 - 01:11 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 03 - 08:48 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kim C
Date: 12 Jul 03 - 12:02 AM

If I remember right, techies can flip burgers too, just as well as anyone else can.

I know you're being amusing... but the fact is, I'm proud of my degree. I had to work hard to get it. (If it hadn't been for the math, I would have had a much more respectable GPA. I did well in all my literature classes.) If you don't think reading and writing are worthwhile endeavors, then all I can do is offer my pity.

And I've never flipped burgers. Ice cream, actually, was my fast food of choice, and I was damn good at slinging it. But that's what I did while I was still in school.

Now I edit the company newsletter, and write songs, and stories. One of my good friends, who is a novelist, and a teacher (who has a Masters in English) has re-introduced me to the joys of poetry, which I had long forgotten.

So tell me again what's wrong with that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 09:40 PM

Still more proof, as if it were needed:

             B enedict
             I ago
          Ham L et
             L orenzo

Taming of the S hrew
             H amlet
             A ll's Well That End's Well
Richard the T hird
       Twelth N ight
         Macb E th
    King Lea R

Acrosticological, letterological, and numerological proofs. I'm working on astrological, because it's written in the stars I'm sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Thespian
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 09:03 PM

I am so sorry...I attributed the "Truth-telling" to Little Hawk, but it belongs to Rapaire!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Thespian
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 09:01 PM

I applaud Little Hawk for his voicing of a hidden truth. This same truth I have sat on for years, for fear of being ridiculed. Hurrah, now it has been spoken in an open forum! William Shatner is William Shakespear!

Yes! Yes! It is True!

Now that it has been told, can you not see it? Think of the various roles that the Great Shatner has played...from the Twilight Zone to the Price Line.com ads...can you not see the similarities in his unique speech and the writings of Shakespear.

Have you not noticed the drama in his voice even as he speaks of the most mundane thing? Shakespear was a fine dramatist, and comedian...so also is Shatner! Remember Shatner's stirring rendition of Elton John's "Rocket Man"? Such wonderful drama blending perfectly with fine-line comedy!

I believe there is some undefinable something that causes True Greats to live forever, and Shakespear, being a True Great, is living on this earth now, in the form of the one we know as William Shatner!

Truly, we are exceedingly blessed to be living in a world where William Shatner abides!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 07:50 PM

William Shakespeare
William Shatner

but he also spelled it

William Shakspear
William Shatner

and

William Shaxper
William Shatner

and x is the 23rd letter of the alphabet, and t is the 20th, 23-20=3;
p is the 16th letter and n is the 14th, 16-14=2.

As we all know, Bill's birthday is: March 22!!! 3/22!!

The Man has recently written "Of all the roles I've played in my career, some of my most favorite were written by that most famous of scribes, Shakespeare." Yes!! Check out his website yourself and see!

Thus it is proved:

William Shatner IS William Shakespeare. Numerologically, letterologically, the proof is irrefutable. The Great Mystery is solved: not Francis Bacon, not Christopher Marlow, not Ben Jonson, not Elizabeth I, not Charlie's Aunt, but William Shatner wrote the greatest plays in English.

And LH, in August he's going to be in Binghamton, NY -- close enough that YOU can visit him. How I envy you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 01:34 PM

Hi, Mario! No, I have not fallen quite that low. It wasn't me. I do have to say, though, that Thespian is right on the mark in his/her inspired comments regarding William Shatner, the greatest ACTOR of our (or any) age, and I couldn't have said it better myself. I'll have to see if we can secure a copy of that Columbo episode for the film library at the WSSBA in beautiful lakeland Orillia.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 11:59 AM

An Open Letter -- well, note, to Kim:

Technological stuff isn't hard. There's nearly no math at all involved now, unless you REALLY want to get involved (or are forced to) and feel a compulsion to translate decimal to binary or octel or hexadecimal, and Kim, they have wonderful treatment programs for those people nowadays. Of course, the electroconvulsive therapy DOES leave gaps in their...whatchamacallit...you know...their...ah, shoot.

And remember that Enlish majors can do anything: flip burgers, make french fries, dig sewer lines, anything.

I was 55 when I wrote my first web page. I was 45 when I learned to fool around in the AIX and Solaris flavors of Unix.

Come on, Kim. It's not a problem or anything to be afraid of. Join us. Don't be afraid.

Sincerely yours,
Rapaire
BA (English), most of an MA (English), and some other such stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 10:53 AM

LH have you fallen so low as to be posting Shatner-praise under psuedonymns now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 10:36 AM

Me and technological stuff, is like a frog on a bike. Besides, even technological people need writers for their manuals. :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 10:35 AM

Oh Kim, go for technological stuff!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 09:39 AM

NO, Kim! Don't do it! Save yourself! It's still not too late to get an MBA!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 09:24 AM

Hasn't anyone mentioned rumpy pumpy?

I was an English major. I actually stuck around long enough to get the degree, and now thinking I might go back for the Masters, if I can find enough change in the sofa cushions...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 03 - 08:57 AM

Welcome Back, Mom!

There's a chap on the police department here named Kirk Scott. And yes, he's a captain. Knowing cops, he has my sympathy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Thespian
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 10:45 PM

Tonight I have watch a marvelous thing on A&E TV. It is an old "Columbo" rerun, starring the wonderful William Shatner. His acting is his usual superb job. And one of the most brilliant things on the program, other than Columbo's keen intellect, is Shatner's moustache.

It has a life of its own. In one scene it is dark and thick; the next scene it is thin and light.
At times it is perfectly straight across his lip, while at other times, it is slightly curved.
In many scenes, it is low on his lip,but watch a bit longer...it gets higher...and later, even higher!

What a great actor to think of including his moustache in the performing of each scene!

No wonder Shatner is lauded so highly throughout the world (and beyond?), he is THE Actor of all time, truly a MAN among men!

In the distant future, one name will shine among the great actors of the world...WILLIAM SHATNER!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 10:16 PM

I like the sound of participle,
it kind of rhymes with kiss my nipple,
while drinking Boon's Farm apple ripple,
or tequila and plum done in triple.

It's got the word party in it,
which makes me think it all will fit.
Maybe I'll name my thingy- Participle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 08:07 AM

I think that perhaps I can give you a definite answer on that, if you will allow me time to think about it. But then again, I don't know -- it's not the sort of thing you want to rush right into, you know. On the other hand, we shouldn't shilly-shally in a matter of such importance. Nonetheless, it does require study and consideration. I'll check with my supervisors when they return; maybe they'll set up a committee to discuss it and prepare an action paper. In the meantime, for God's sakes don't DO anything!

There, that's decided.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 08:31 PM

-OR-

You could go check out this thread I started today...

On the road with JtS & CarolC


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 08:21 PM

Well, yes and no.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 07:02 PM

Well, it finally happened. The MOAB was not refreshed before it fell off the page! 'Taint my fault. I was out tryin' to make a livin' and haven't even had the 'puter on since Saturday night.

Now, the question becomes, "Is it really a priority anyway? Wouldn't it be more in keeping with the essential MOABness of the thing to just know that it's available for when a weird-ass goofy thought says, 'I belong on the MOAB' instead of feeling compelled to post to it daily?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 01:00 PM

Speaking of 666, did you know that US Highway 666, which used to run right through the heart of Navaho country, has been renumbered as US Highway 491? Apparently because of public pressure.... Talk about stupidly silly!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 06:36 AM

I'm so glad I didn't add post number 666 to this thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: C-flat
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 05:53 AM

gerunding?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 01:22 AM

A gerund is a noun formed from a verb. To make a gerund, you add "-ing" to the verb, just as with a present participle. The fundamental difference is that a gerund is a noun, while a participle is an adjective:

gerund

I enjoy running. ("Running" is a noun acting as the direct object of the verb "enjoy.")

participle

Stay away from running water. ("Running" is an adjective modifying the noun "water".)

Rumpus room is a construction in which a noun (rumpus) is serving as an adjective to modify the noun "room" exactly as in -- for example -- "coal mine" and "dog house". In the expression "dog collar" is an adjective.

All clear?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 12:46 AM

Right. So what's the rumpus?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 09:19 PM

...quarreling English majors...????

What else has the Mudcat ever been about? Face it, probably half of us were English majors. How come else you think we write so good? Onliest thing more useless than a English major is a English major that went and turned into a folk musician.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bubba Bubba
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 08:45 PM

Oh, Tweed honey, don't use no DEET! It makes me itch. Of course, you do too, but in a different way.

Debbie Earl says to say hi, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 03:24 PM

WOE,WOE UNTO US ALL......MOAB is lost to quarreling English majors....Where iz ar King, Master of all things ridicamuss, Royal Rumpusser and Lord of All Household Cleansing Powders and Chlorine Toilet and Urinal Cakes.
Gone are the days of complete chaos and gibberish in MOAB. I weep bitter tears into my tattered sleeve, my dog howls at the quarter sticks of TNT that the immigrants next door are igniting, and a mosquito has found it's way to my armpit. Where is our King? Where is the DEET and how will I ever know how much to apply?

Pore Rattled,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 02:00 PM

Why not? People are verbing nouns all the time, summiting their endeavors and paradigming themselves into all sorts of shapes.

It's one of the curses and joys of English that different parts of speech can modify one another: running faucet, f***ing football, dying cowboy are all examples of verbs modifying nouns. Even nouns modify nouns, and with interesting results: a house cat is not the same as a cat house, for instance. And you can get stuff like "the house cat was out cattin' around the cat house" and it makes sense.

Besides, I agree with The Caterpillar that Alice met.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 12:22 PM

You can't call a noun an adjective just because you are using it to qualify another noun. Is dog an adjective when you say "dog collar"? What's the rumpus?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 10:38 AM

LH, there is also "rumpus room," where the word is used as an adjective -- and for the life of me I can't think to the correct term for this usage. It's not a gerund or an adverbial. Ah well, I don't use no grammar anyhow these days because nobody else does either.

Mentally playing with words, I've come up with "grampus bumpass rumpus" and I'm not going to think about that any more because the mental picture is too disturbing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 12:54 AM

"Rumpus" is a noun. It means a disturbance, a kerfuffle, some excitement, a noisy altercation, that sort of thing. I found out by watching the movie "Miller's Crossing" that there was a time when mobsters were fond of saying "What's the rumpus?" I believe that time was in the 30's...the glorious era of prohibition and the Thompson submachine gun. It may have been in the 20's too.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 05:43 PM

Is it possible, then, that the metamorphed Gregor Samsa was actually eaten by one of his own relatives, the one who passed alone the chicken gene to Max?

I'm just a shy, retiring kid from the Great Midwest and have so much to learn and so many questions.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 01:36 PM

Sorry, Rapaire, but you're wrong about the real ending to "Where the Wild Things Are."

One little known point about "Where the Wild Things Are" is that Max's last name is Samsa. That's right, as in "Gregor Samsa" of Kafka's "Metamorphosis" fame. It seems that the propensity toward waking one fine morning to find that one has been transformed into a distinctly non-human creature of some sort is a family trait in the Samsa clan. The very next morning after the events of "Where the Wild Things Are" Max awoke to find himself transformed into a giant chicken. This was way to much for the wild things. Max-as-human was able to escape them, but Max-as-white-leghorn was, sadly, not. Ain't nothin' wild things likes more than fried chicken. They jus' gotta have it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 12:38 PM

All I can find about the word "rumpus" is that the origin is unknown and that the first use was about 1764. I doubt that it's Latin, though...and it's certainly not a verb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 12:08 PM

Shee, shy, sheiss, shorum, sharum, shorum, shees, shaas, shy, sho, sha, sho. Shic, sheic, shoc, shuius, shuius, shuius, shos, shaas, shy.

Sho what? (I took Latin too)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 10:32 AM

Rumpus: Lat.,v., to rump.

Declined:

Rumpus
Rumpi
Rumpo
Rumpum
Rumpo

Rumpi
Rumporum
Rumpis
Rumpos
Rumpis


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 08:39 PM

"...His mother found his body later, and it was still warm."

The real ending to "Where the Wild Things Are."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kim C
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 01:22 PM

Let the wild rumpus start.

(okay, so I'm a little late in the game...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 01:18 PM

My Dear Ms Lemon,

Thank you ever so much for pointing out the one serious weakness in this otherwise perfect work of art, The Mother of All BS Threads. I will personally endeavor to rectify the situation and see to it that the MOAB is indexed, cross-indexed and fully annotated with with extensive bibliography and complete footnotes.

Then again, maybe I won't.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 09:12 AM

Ms Lemon,

I suspect that any direction you run will bring you right back here, since once you have found MOAB, you cannot escape. CANNOT. You and MOAB are bound together, inseperable, a Unity, destined to remain such forever and beyond.

Welcome. Come, join us. Don't be afraid. You don't have a choice now anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 08:29 AM

Ok I've got my coat, now which way do I go?

#8-0

Sal


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 06:58 AM

Pore Mz. Lemon,
There iz nothing in this entire 646 message pile of crap that you would ever want to find again. Run for it dear Lady afore you start talking even worse nonsense! ;~)

Yerz,
Tweed
KOTROT and Duc D'Earl


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 05:57 AM

I just wanted to add my name to this list, because I didn't want to be the only one not on it!

Just a little thought, and I dare say someone, somewhere in this MoaBSt's, has probably asked this before, but, if the threads aren't all split up, how would I be able find one 'thing' in particular?

Sal


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 09:59 PM

Indeed, this is the Finnegan's Wake of BS threads, perhaps even the Recherche du Temps Perdu of the Finnegan's Wake of BS threads. Perhaps again, Kafka might be more to the point.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 09:53 PM

This thread is lurching into new and unclaimed territory like a drunken rottweiler hot on the heels of a squealing pig careening into the midst of an Italian wedding ceremony. Quo vadis? Que pasa? What's the rumpus?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 09:22 PM

Well, the most sordid part of the whole story is that Gyp ended up being the mother of a whole litter of cross-bred pups. We kids just called 'em "those weird puppies," but the adults about had a conniption trying to figger out what to call 'em. Since the mother was a cocker spaniel and the father a four-string banjo, some folks called 'em "spanbans" and others "ban cocks" (which caused confusion with the capitol of Thailand and which led to a riot because some of the neighborhood men, who, because of a lack of water [for their whisky or whiskey] weren't hearing too well thought there was afoot what we today might call a "Lorena Bobbit Fan Club" and they went around stealing metal trash can lids and bending them into the shape of metal diapers and then wearing them until finally the police came and calmed things down to the usual loud uproar and middlin' chaos that was the norm) and other "four cockers" (which led to a mass of male feelings of inadequacy for blocks around) and still others "spanjos," which was probably the best name for them because eventually their owner reconciled himself to them and took them on the road, where the little pups made melody (?) by holding their tails upright and crawling all over each other as puppies do; this was fine until they got older and started fighting amongst themselves, which led to the music being called "a cross between a quintet of untuned alien stringed instruments and a helluva good dog fight in the orchestra pit."

I hope that this clears everything up adequately.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 08:59 PM

Copulating with a banjo is not an unnatural act. In fact, banjos are in a state of perpetual copulation! Being-in-the-act-of-copulation is the banjo's most natural state! Just ask any banjo player how many times he has been told to, "Put that fucking banjo in the case and go to bed!" The only time banjo copulation might be construed as unnatural is when one is told to, "Stick that fucking banjo up your ass!" and even that's really just a matter of preference, isn't it?

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 05:16 PM

Gypsy Woman (we called her "Gyp") tried to copulate with your leg. Right or left, it didn't matter. Or a wooden one. She was caught with a banjo once, and for THAT she was banished to the shed for a month! Her owner said that there "wuznt gonna be none of that, that, onnatoorel stuff round here!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 01:11 PM

I don't find cocker spaniels very lovable at all, come to think of it. They are usually half-wits who attempt to copulate with inanimate objects. Gypsy women, on the other hand, are definitely worth having in a community.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 08:48 AM

I remember the Gypsy Woman from my youth. Lived two houses down. Wild, she was, with her black hair tossing in the breeze or flowing with every step she took. All the young men wanted to play with her and did; I certainly wasn't alone in her affections. And then came the terrible day when she was struck and killed by a car. I think that every male of whatever age for blocks and blocks around was in tears, and I'm certain that the local tavern did a roaring business in lieu of a formal wake. Seldom was there a cocker spaniel who was so well and so widely loved as the Gypsy Woman.


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