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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 19 Jun 17 - 08:27 AM
Acme 19 Jun 17 - 12:38 AM
Rapparee 18 Jun 17 - 08:55 PM
Donuel 18 Jun 17 - 01:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Jun 17 - 11:05 AM
Rapparee 17 Jun 17 - 09:20 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 17 - 10:22 AM
Donuel 16 Jun 17 - 11:09 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 17 - 09:56 PM
Acme 16 Jun 17 - 09:29 PM
Donuel 16 Jun 17 - 08:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Jun 17 - 05:52 PM
keberoxu 16 Jun 17 - 02:38 PM
Donuel 16 Jun 17 - 02:34 PM
Donuel 16 Jun 17 - 02:23 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 17 - 09:41 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Jun 17 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 17 - 08:49 AM
gnu 14 Jun 17 - 09:19 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 17 - 09:05 PM
Acme 14 Jun 17 - 08:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Jun 17 - 07:50 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 17 - 04:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Jun 17 - 01:57 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 17 - 01:38 PM
Donuel 14 Jun 17 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 14 Jun 17 - 09:45 AM
Amos 13 Jun 17 - 10:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jun 17 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 13 Jun 17 - 09:08 PM
keberoxu 13 Jun 17 - 04:19 PM
Rapparee 13 Jun 17 - 10:12 AM
Rapparee 12 Jun 17 - 10:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jun 17 - 10:04 PM
Charley Noble 12 Jun 17 - 09:40 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jun 17 - 01:06 PM
Donuel 12 Jun 17 - 12:08 PM
Acme 12 Jun 17 - 12:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jun 17 - 11:03 AM
Rapparee 12 Jun 17 - 10:16 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jun 17 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 11 Jun 17 - 10:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jun 17 - 12:00 PM
Acme 11 Jun 17 - 11:37 AM
Rapparee 10 Jun 17 - 09:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jun 17 - 12:27 PM
Acme 10 Jun 17 - 10:56 AM
Rapparee 10 Jun 17 - 10:25 AM
Rapparee 09 Jun 17 - 10:47 PM
Amos 09 Jun 17 - 10:30 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 17 - 08:27 AM

Bee-dubya-ell started it! I just reported on what I did on Saturday! It's his fault! Punish him! Ground him! Ground him! And ground Donuel too! There ain't no such word even in German as what he said! He's thinking of "sturm und drang"! Ground him! You have to use words from der echte Welt and not from der Traumwelt with Mom!! Ground him and him!

On a side note, we're off to Seattle in three and a half hours to have folks at the Fred Hutch and SCCA examine and discuss treatments with Pat. But I'll check in, so don't do anything naughty or I'll tell!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jun 17 - 12:38 AM

MOM. I made progress today, but am not finished with the driveway. Heck with all of these guns and such. I'm interested in weed whackers and lawnmowers. Useful posessions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 17 - 08:55 PM

Well, Bee-Dubya, it isn't the biggest "buffalo gun." There was the .50-90, the .50-100, and even the .50-110. These fifty calibers fired a 600+ grain bullet. I can't afford one, much less the ammunition! But just for you, a real man's gun! Let me know how it works out for you.

Donuel, I haven't signed anything in blood since I did that deal with Ole Skratch in Norway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Jun 17 - 01:09 PM

Rap should rap. He is not to be outdone. It is apparent I have wandered into his forte'. I warn you sir, stay out of Hilbert space. I will virtually annihilate virtual intrusions. You may hold dominion over the world of words if you leave me the domains of a new geometry, triple entendre, political follies and dersturmderveranderung.

sign here in blood __________.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jun 17 - 11:05 AM

Recoil? From a "buffalo gun" firing .45-70 rounds? Who can imagine?

You could get a Thompson/Center Contender with a .45-70 barrel* and experience the same amount of recoil but with the added thrill of potentially knocking yourself unconscious when that recoil slaps you in the forehead with the gun barrel. Wear a crash helmet.

* The Contender is "modular". Barrels are available in umpteen calibers and they all bolt onto the same frame.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 17 - 09:20 PM

Well, I went to the range and zeroed my .45-70 (.45-70 Government, with 405 grain bullets) so I can start doing long range target shooting. It's not zeroed at even 100 yards (91.44 meters) because it has lots and lots of recoil

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 17 - 10:22 AM

I'll beet you to it and say, "Lettuce proceed." I don't turnip my nose at saying such things as this, and if someone leeks it, well, they show good taste. Indeed, it thrills me to the very marrow! I've bean working on some things for a while now and they're about to come to fruition. Yes, I'll be posting some grape stuff! Everyone here says, "Oh, mango gopher it!" But I don't know if I should listen to those who sit around the edge of the room, those walnuts. They'll always carp about something! Onion the other hand, chive don't know...perhaps I should stop for now because this is degenerating into pure corn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jun 17 - 11:09 PM

As long as I laugh best I couldn't carrot less.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 17 - 09:56 PM

I have no idea what "autopoet" is. I write my own. I don't have some machine write it for me. Humf! The very idea!

Summa pia gratia nostra conservando corpora et cutodita, de veslingr nos libera, quae nostra vastat, Deus, regna.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 17 - 09:29 PM

Friday. Hard-fought through the work week to reach this point, when I have three days off in a row. I work a compressed schedule of four 10-hour days, so I'm a tired wreck by Friday night, but as long as the dogs get fed and the garage door closed, we're fine. And tomorrow is Saturday (too bad we have a heat advisory for the weekend, it means I have to get up at dawn if I want to work in the yard). MOM, wake me up early with a pot of tea so I can go mow the lawn before it feels like 110o.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jun 17 - 08:13 PM

Let us know if the secret grand jury believes the collusion is real.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Jun 17 - 05:52 PM

Why do they call it Midsummer when it actually marks the beginning of summer? Midsummer should be the point midway between the first and last days of summer, which is August 4th. I shall defer my celebration until then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Jun 17 - 02:38 PM

If there is a Midsummer Mudcat Tavern, I can't be there, because I have been summoned to show up in a group regarding jury duty. When we will discover whether we will get through Voir Dire and then be seated, or not. Will let you know what transpires.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jun 17 - 02:34 PM

Rap, speak and break appear to rhyme to the AI autopoet 6000
but not to me. Upgrade to the 7000.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jun 17 - 02:23 PM

Beware the purple carrot.
Carrots in the US are orange and can tan you up with high quantities of carotene. I bought a bag of frozen mixed colored carrots. Each color yellow etc. did not amount to one large carrot. I used them for stews and casseroles. The scant few slices of the blue carrots actually dyed any added meat to a deathly blue color. Now I know why we don't grow many blue carrots anymore. I knew a girl that ate mostly free mangos off the trees in Maui for 2 years. She turned orange. If you are fair, beware the blue carrot.

At least plagiarists exhibit good taste. I'm thinking of Melania.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 17 - 09:41 AM

Bless those little MOABites
    That should have gone to school;
Blessed be the MOABites
    That obey the golden rule.
MOABites, love your betters,
    For they have cared for you;
When you were little infants
    They watched and prayed for you.

Love your little thread-mates,
    Be gentle in your play,
Be kind to your betters,
    And their commands obey.

Oh! then you will be happy
    In the world that seems so trite,
For then your friends will love you
    Forever, MOABites.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Jun 17 - 10:18 PM

To the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General"

Rap is the very model of an unrepentant plagiarist
He steals from poets, playwrights, men of letters and anthologists
His posts are often borrowed and they lack originality
It surely is a symptom of a disturbed personality
He steals from Shakespeare, Pope, and Swift and does so with impunity
His lack of attribution is a blight on our community
It's not that he is ignorant, he worked as a librarian
He really does know better, but he must play the contrarian
He has been warned repeatedly, yet in this crime he does persist
Rap is the very model of an unrepentant plagiarist


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 17 - 08:49 AM

The time is not remote, when I
Must by the course of nature die;
When I foresee my special friends
Will try to find their private ends:
Tho' it is hardly understood
Which way my death can do them good,
Yet thus, methinks, I hear 'em speak:
'See, how old Rap begins to break!
Poor gentleman, he droops apace!
You plainly find it in his face.
That old vertigo in his head
Will never leave him till he's dead.
Besides, his memory decays:
He recollects not what he says;
He cannot call his friends to mind:
Forgets the place where last he din'd;
Plies you with stories o'er and o'er;
He told them fifty times before.
How does he fancy we can sit
To hear his out-of-fashion'd wit?
But he takes up with younger folks,
Who for his wine will bear his jokes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 17 - 09:19 PM

I hope that clears up soon, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 17 - 09:05 PM

I have a papal dispensation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jun 17 - 08:55 PM

Good one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jun 17 - 07:50 PM

To clarify:

Quoting seminal passages of Shakespeare sans attribution is okay. Pope, not so much. All immortals are not created equal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 17 - 04:39 PM

Shut, shut the door, good Bee-Dub'! fatigu'd, I said,
Tie up the knocker, say I'm sick, I'm dead.
The dog-star rages! nay 'tis past a doubt,
All Bedlam, or Parnassus, is let out:
Fire in each eye, and papers in each hand,
They rave, recite, and madden round the land.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jun 17 - 01:57 PM

Quoting The Bard is not usually considered plagiarism, since most reasonably educated people recognize the quotation's source without having to be told.

Only the exceedingly ill-bred would confuse one of Hamlet's soliloquies with anything original to M Rapparee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 17 - 01:38 PM

I apologize for the misuse of italics in my last post.

Fixed by a mudelf who is accustomed to the VERY heavy lifting involved in repairs at the MOAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Jun 17 - 11:58 AM

Time is simultaneous and 3 D. p-p-f

The last could easily be first and still have an active future.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 17 - 09:45 AM

Rapparree's last post was lifted whole from Shakespeare. Hamlet .   Act 2, Scene 2.

BULLPOOP! It was also lifted from The Tempest, Act 4, Scene 1.

But I must say,

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Amos is but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. He is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.


And you can quote ME.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 17 - 10:43 PM

Eternal vigilance is the cost of freedom from stolen thought. Rapparree's last post was lifted whole from Shakespeare. Hamlet .   Act 2, Scene 2.

Rapparree will now begin losing sleep awaiting a knock on his door...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jun 17 - 09:31 PM

I have a Draft Dodger. He keeps cold air from blowing under the door in the winter. Since I live in Florida, he only gets used about ten nights per year. Pretty cushy job for a stuffed critter. All the Teddy bears that belong to sadistic little children are so jealous. "You're twenty years old and nobody's even pulled your tongue off yet?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 17 - 09:08 PM

Hmmm....draft dodgers.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Jun 17 - 04:19 PM

hmmmm... so Prospero is off to the sun himself?

Maybe the Mudcat Midsummer Tavern could be for the draft dodgers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 17 - 10:12 AM

I have of late?but wherefore I know not?lost all my mirth,
Forgone all custom of exercises,
And indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition
That this goodly frame, the earth,
Seems to me a sterile promontory;
This most excellent canopy, the air?
Look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament,
This majestical roof fretted with golden fire?
Why, it appears no other thing to me
Than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors.
What a piece of work is a man!
How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty!
In form and moving how express and admirable!
In action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god!
The beauty of the world.
The paragon of animals.
And yet, to me,
What is this quintessence of dust?

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 17 - 10:21 PM

Hey, Charlie! Welcome! Sorry I can't make Getaway this year, but I'm going to Iceland. Maybe Skarpi will come to Maryland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jun 17 - 10:04 PM

The MOAB will not die until they take the mouse from my cold dead hand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Jun 17 - 09:40 PM

I'm assuming this will be the last live thread on Mudcat but most likely someone has already predicted that.

Charlie Ipcar


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jun 17 - 01:06 PM

There's a town in Mississippi called Hot Coffee, so named because someone built a store at a crossroads and put up a large sign advertising (drum roll, please) hot coffee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Jun 17 - 12:08 PM

That's (preposterous) entertainment

A clown with his pants falling down
Or the chief who tweets for relief
Or the show where the fired would go
That's entertainment!
The lights on the wife in tight tights
Or the bribe that the White House can't hide
Or the war that the Navy ignores
That's entertainment!
The plot that is hot grabbing for sex
A President who is suing his ex
Could it be a Narcissus Rex
Trump picks a Nazi and envies Bill Cosby
The clerk who is thrown out of work
By the boss who is thrown for a loss
By the skirt who is doing him dirt
The world is a stage; the stage is a world of entertainment!
It might be a fight like you see on the screen
A wussy grabs pussy then insults the queen
Some great Shakespearean scene
Where everyone cries over incredible lies
Hip hip hooray! Its the American way
The world is a stage; the stage is a world of entertainment!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 17 - 12:07 PM

I think you'll find the post office is one of the bossiest agencies around when it comes to names and designations. For example, there used to be an intersection in Arizona between Ajo and Tucson, where you could head south to go to Organ Pipe National Monument or cross over into Sonoyta, Mexico. That was a "Y" in the road. The post office finally got serious and the town is now "Why, AZ." There were many snowbirds wanting to park their RVs in the vast open private campgrounds and they wanted to receive mail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jun 17 - 11:03 AM

Yes, Arco is a city by Idaho (and other western state) standards. There is a little-known federal law requiring that each state designate at least one inhabited area per five thousand square miles as a "city", regardless of its population. In some parts of Wyoming, individual shacks owned by grizzled old prospectors are considered cities.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 17 - 10:16 AM

Yes. A nuclear submarine,USS Hawkbill, SS666, tried to surface there. Obviously it didn't succeed, and the city (city?) put a cement border around the conning tower. The crew did manage to escape but the Captain stayed with his ship.

The Captain, it is said, received orders to report to the Naval Reactors Facility outside of Arco and he was so excited he tried to "drive" there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jun 17 - 09:33 AM

The frogs that caused that explosion were not typical frogs. They were super-ultra top-secret weaponized bullfrogs with bionic jaws which had escaped from a research lab. The alterations made to them were not genetic in nature, so they were not passed down to subsequent generations. There is nothing to fear from using frogs to patrol the trans-space power cord.


By they way, did you know that Arco, Idaho was originally known as Root Hog, Idaho?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 17 - 10:52 PM

On August 29, 1945, 250,000 pounds of explosives (that's a lot!) exploded outside the town of Arco, Idaho. Frogs in the Lost River wetlands had "lipped" power cables in the Naval Proving Ground and caused "the largest non-nuclear explosion" in history.

No frogs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jun 17 - 12:00 PM

Acme, rodents have been known to chew through power cords. If we're going to leave power cord sentry duty up to "lower" life forms, it'd probably be better to go with frogs. They only have lips. And they come equipped with sticky tongues with which to ensnare the invading hordes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 17 - 11:37 AM

Get smart, train rodents and cockroaches to protect that power cord. There are a gazillion more of them and they're perfectly suited to the work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 17 - 09:30 PM

Earth Statutes 10.342, Chap. 47, ¶81, §25B: Anyone failing to assist in the defense of the Sun shall be deprived of the benefits of said Sun for a period of no less that thirty (30) days and no more than thirty (30) years, as measured by the rotation of the Earth (a/k/a Terra, et al.) and shall be fined as much as the market shall bear and more, and bear all the costs of the prosecution of said individual or individuals, and said individual or individuals shall spend much time looking like this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jun 17 - 12:27 PM

There's really no need for a draft, or even a mass mobilization. Since the invaders' goal is to turn off the sun, Earth could be more effectively defended by elite forces trained to defend the switch and the power cord.

Of course, that power cord is 93 million miles long. If every able-bodied adult human on the planet were to be drafted, that would provide a defensive force of roughly 40 defenders per mile of power cord, or one every 132 feet. And that's assuming they're all awake at the same time. Pretty slim coverage there....

I take back what I said about a draft not being necessary. Not only do we need to draft every available human, but we need to draft all the dogs and cats as well. Let's just see those invaders try to snip the power cord where it's being guarded by a vicious Shih Tzu!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 17 - 10:56 AM

Hell, NO! We Won't Go!

One of those useful lines from the 1960s that comes to mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 17 - 10:25 AM

PEOPLE OF EARTH!
a/k/a People of Terra


Greetings from Earth's Defen(c/s)e Forces (Forces de Défense de la Terre, Die Verteidigungskräfte der Erde, Fuerzas de Defensa de la Tierra, 地球防禦力量, Силы обороны Земли, Vörnarsveitir jarđarinnar, Óglaigh na hÉireann Domhain, Talmhainn Děon Feachdan, Lluoedd Amddiffyn Ddaear, 地球の防衛軍, 지구의 방위군, et al.)

Oh dear, we've run out of time. Just assume you're going to be drafted, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 17 - 10:47 PM

See if you get your enlistment bonus, Amos! It will be sent to the Aid to Lower Slobovian Veterans of the Great Sun Shutdown War (ALSVGSSW). Like you, many of them suffer from nyctophobia and yet they have and will fight those who would shut off our Sun. Unlike you many also suffer from heliophobia, causing them to shun "the limelight" and although many are also wonderful singers and performers on the Slobovian Pyrophone without equal anywhere, they do not perform in public as they also suffer the enochlophobia. Your enlistment bonus, "The Earth's Shilling" as it is called, will be used to help these veterans have a full and meaningful like.

YOU will still have to report and serve!

I probably didn't mention that there's also now a draft....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 17 - 10:30 PM

It seems a shame and I hate to do it, but I have to set the record straight: Rapparree has not been authorized to start recruitment actions on his own, and in fact was specifically prohibited from doing so after a very unsuccessful misadventure a year sgo. An experiment he dreamed up which resulted in the Corps being inundated with left-handed Slobovian vegans suffering from myopia and restless leg syndrome. There were hundreds of them, lining up restlessly, wanting to sign on to ensure they would be regularly fed their peculiar diet of kale trimmings and dark leafy green sauces. It was a logistic catastrophe which set the strategic planning of the Corps back sixteen months.

Just sayin'.


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