Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 04 May 14 - 08:10 PM
Acme 04 May 14 - 04:05 PM
Rapparee 03 May 14 - 09:33 PM
gnu 03 May 14 - 08:52 PM
Rapparee 03 May 14 - 06:46 PM
gnu 03 May 14 - 04:11 PM
Rapparee 03 May 14 - 03:57 PM
gnu 03 May 14 - 02:40 PM
Acme 03 May 14 - 02:09 PM
gnu 02 May 14 - 11:25 PM
Rapparee 02 May 14 - 10:46 PM
gnu 02 May 14 - 09:24 PM
Rapparee 02 May 14 - 06:21 PM
Acme 02 May 14 - 05:16 PM
Rapparee 01 May 14 - 09:16 PM
gnu 01 May 14 - 06:04 PM
Rapparee 01 May 14 - 10:24 AM
beardedbruce 01 May 14 - 07:52 AM
gnu 01 May 14 - 07:04 AM
Amos 30 Apr 14 - 11:10 PM
gnu 30 Apr 14 - 10:23 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 14 - 10:08 PM
Acme 30 Apr 14 - 10:02 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 14 - 09:26 PM
beardedbruce 30 Apr 14 - 03:39 PM
beardedbruce 30 Apr 14 - 03:38 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 14 - 02:13 PM
gnu 30 Apr 14 - 12:46 PM
gnu 30 Apr 14 - 12:41 PM
Acme 30 Apr 14 - 12:27 PM
Amos 30 Apr 14 - 11:26 AM
Rapparee 30 Apr 14 - 10:23 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 14 - 10:13 PM
gnu 29 Apr 14 - 09:39 PM
Acme 29 Apr 14 - 05:35 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 14 - 10:09 AM
gnu 29 Apr 14 - 07:19 AM
Amos 29 Apr 14 - 12:25 AM
Rapparee 28 Apr 14 - 09:16 PM
Amos 28 Apr 14 - 08:18 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 14 - 02:32 PM
Acme 28 Apr 14 - 12:30 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 14 - 10:02 AM
gnu 28 Apr 14 - 09:50 AM
Amos 28 Apr 14 - 12:32 AM
Rapparee 27 Apr 14 - 08:11 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 14 - 08:09 PM
gnu 27 Apr 14 - 04:48 PM
Amos 27 Apr 14 - 03:21 PM
gnu 27 Apr 14 - 08:52 AM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 14 - 08:10 PM

Well, I spent a ;pmg, hot morning helpipng work a volunteer assembly line for the spaying and neutering of feral cats. On this particular session about 60 feral cats were delivered in trap-boxes to a clinic in La Mesa, a lively small town just eastof here, and the cats anaesthetized and removed from the cages. The cages got washed, dried, lined and laid out in numerical order, each cage being numbered with a number matching the one on its cat's tag. The veterinarians did all the major medical work, neutering, sewing up wounds, filling them full of vaccines, pulling rotten teeth, and so on. Then the cats got handed through--still totally unconscious--to a clutch of volunteer ladies who groomed them, cleaned their ears out and clipped the tip of one ear to show they had been neutered. Then the cats small and large, still very comatose, were put back into their now-cleaned cages to sleep it off. Some of them were pretty pissed off when they wolke up. Eventually all the cages with their occupants were collected by those who captured and brougt them in originally. The cats are re-released, their medical issues and reproductive powers both resolved, to live out the lives they were living, but without multiplicaytion.

Doing all this sixty times, with the wild variables of individual issues and differences, is quite an interesting floorshow. I am glad BBW talked me into volunteering.

My dog was suspicious of the whole thing, though...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 May 14 - 04:05 PM

. . . proving once again that BS doesn't come just from bulls!

MOM, you're at the bottom rung. Yes, you have until 9 tonight, but still, it's unseemly.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 14 - 09:33 PM

I'd tell more about Old Bossy but I'd break down in tears, like the time she ran into the hours and upstairs to let us know about the fire in the basement, which, thanks to her quick action, was easily put out and the house and our lives saved.

Or the time it got so cold and she let us cuddle up to her for warmth and then gave ice cream for a week. And the time my other brother fell in a well and Old Bossy ran for help just like Lassie.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 May 14 - 08:52 PM

RIP and thanks, Bossy. Great burgers.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 14 - 06:46 PM

I just got a call from my brother. Old Bossy the cow died today.

She wasn't just any old cow. Old Bossy could point pheasants and quail, retrieve, and was even a fair to middling good duck cow. I remember the time at the old swimming hole when Old Bossy jumped in and saved my little brother's life when he got tangled in a submerged steamboat wreck.

She even gave milk that was 90% cream. Milked herself, she did, and it was a treat to see!

Well, she's in greener pastures now. My brother told me that before she went she even took a marker and outlined the good cuts.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 May 14 - 04:11 PM

MMFFTT.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 14 - 03:57 PM

Like the man wrote, "Any day spent fishing is better than a day spent...what was that word...something I used to do...hmmm...."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 May 14 - 02:40 PM

Trout Trout
All aboutst
Flash n roll.
While I troll
Take no fly
Say goodbye
Crapped out
No trout
What will I fry


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 14 - 02:09 PM

I grew up with rainbow and cutthroat as the native species in the lake where we had a cabin. Up in the mountains is was a brown trout that was introduced and problematic.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 May 14 - 11:25 PM

Cutthroats? Ye mean them there pirates? Scallywags! Her Majesty's Royal Navy shall skim and skin such scum and send them to scuttle beneath the deep blue. Now, if talkin trout, flour dredge and a hot oiled pan... eggs over easy with cracked wheat toast... mmmmm good!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 14 - 10:46 PM

Pah. The bag limit is all you can catch plus one.

Actually, there is no limit on rainbows here. In fact, you can't even do catch and release with them. They're considered and "invasive species" and destroy habitat needed for the native cutthroats.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 May 14 - 09:24 PM

So... I says ta buddy... whassa bag limit? E says, "Zir! Much asa bag'll old eh!"

340 4+ pound speckles me zon! Done er on sleds end a winter near. Taken at ye arse end a yer Rigolet pond what be some tirty mile west a Rigolet... as if I ad ta spell that out eh? Google yer eart onat eh.

Shockin tasty dem trout. Buddy. Buddy! PINK! Fry only fry only! I am serious me zon... the fish flesh was almost as pure a proper colour as that on a package of du Maurier smokes. Some shockin good.

From... Memories of Labrador, I think, cw now, me.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 14 - 06:21 PM

He's going to make a scooter out of two roller skates and some scrap lumber.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 14 - 05:16 PM

Context is everything. Placed in the Mother of All BS with a high digital goal it works.

A bottle of 10-year-old Ardbeg or a case of Shiner Black Lager.

Getaway - another one of those goals I'm still aiming at.

Have you finished all of your furniture building, Amos? What next?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 14 - 09:16 PM

You'd only hurt yourself. Probably put an eye out or something.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 May 14 - 06:04 PM

The robins are singing that song! The eggs are in the nest! They will now trill their song to imprint their young with their trill over and over and fuckin over... all fuckin day and night... incessantly... the little fuckers won't even eat... just trill... trill... trill. Oh joyous spring. I need a chainsaw.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 14 - 10:24 AM

I'd like a liter of Pusser's Admiral's rum and a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 01 May 14 - 07:52 AM

Re drinks- I will provide at the next Getaway I get to ( should be there this year), just send me your reasonable requests.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 May 14 - 07:04 AM

Okay.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 11:10 PM

Bruce:

That's the best thing I've seen from you! Good job.

SO friends, and neighbors, sons and daughters of Mom, what is it to be? Are we grinders in an endless mill of mere numbers? Or do we dare to break the patterns that enchain us and step forth unafraid to claim our true natures as ARTISTS OF BS! Onward, upward, into the very flaming maw of the Universe herself, holding high the pennon of True BS! Onward! For Glory! Fort something to do! For MOM!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 10:23 PM

I'll drink to that. Indeed! Well done, bb.

Stiff Snarple fer me if yer buyin.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 10:08 PM

Oh, yeah. You have to buy the drinks.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 10:02 PM

Who knew . . .


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 09:26 PM

Most excellent! And congratulations -- you're now a bona-fide Childe Of MOAB.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 03:39 PM

by me!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 03:38 PM

OK, I will push it up so that 50505 can be claimed?





Sonnet 04/01/05                        CMLXVIII

In every thread someone has to be last,
Though we may trade places in patterned dance.
Each one may lead, then follow: Thoughts are cast
On screen to with all others take their chance.
Come join the waltz of thousand partners: Share
Some moments with a varied crowd, or learn
Of osprey nest, or Bob. Each of us care
Enough that we to this mad dance return.
Each of us add to tune, and join in chords
That sweep across our posts: We fill the time
With what investment each of us affords.
It is just journey that gives cause to climb.
As we give, so shall each some gift receive,
And only for those gone shall we yet grieve.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 02:13 PM

I know, but I shall let another take it. Ebbie perhaps, or even Amos, as I can be merciful as well as just. I know this, for many people have said, "Mercy, it's just you!"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 12:46 PM

Plumb fergot ta mention... Get ready, Rap. Only 3 more posts.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 12:41 PM

I'd vote for a show of hands on that. Are we quorate or prostrate? On the other hand, if we are prostate, I wanna be able to see all hands at all times so stick em up!

Rap... Mom's bit bucket time was 22:13 MCT so she was just fine. No need a getting yer hose in a bunch.

Mama's don't let yer babies grow up ta be coders
Don't let em key in data for yuppie bucks
Make em be sangers and twangers n such

Apologies to... ah... er... you know... that guy that smokes a lotta weed and looks likes he needs to vacuumed... you knoooow. William sumpin?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 12:27 PM

Good one, Rap. Send a copy of it to Max.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 11:26 AM

Life must go on, my friend, with or without us, upwards or downwards. The first rule is, "There Shall Be a Show".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 10:23 AM

Disgusting. Mom at the very, very bottom, all too soon to vanish into Max's Great Bit Bucket.

That did it. Oh no.

An old programmer went 'boarding out one dark and windy day
Upon a tube he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a mighty bunch of ancient code he saw
Flowin' through the ragged cards and up a cloudy draw.

Their bytes were still on fire and their holes were punched by steel
Their IBMs were black and shiny and their hot chads he could feel
A bolt of fear went through him as they fluttered through the sky
For he saw the coders comin' hard and he heard their mournful cries

Yippie i ohhh
Yippie i aye
Bit buckets in the sky

Their faces pale, their eyes were glazed
Their tee shirts soaked with sweat
They're tryin' hard to catch those cards
But they ain't caught 'em yet
Cause they got to write code forever on that 360 in the sky
On Hollerith decks a-jammin' they raise their mournful cries.

(Chorus)

As the coders punched on by him he heard one call his name
'If you wanna save your soul from Hell a-codin' in Fortran
Then coder change your ways today or with us you will code
Tryin to hack the devil's code across these endless cards."

Chorus ad nauseam.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 10:13 PM

Daily I arise from a bed of excruciating pain and using every piece of furniture for assistance work my way to the bathroom for more pain medications. After managing to get back in bed I wait an hour or so for the meds to kick in and then I work my way to the kitchen for breakfast. Then I dab at my body with a sponge in an attempt to bathe and then fall back in bed to recover enough energy to brush my teeth. I dress -- slowly and painfully -- and then go down to the Elks Lodge for coffee or out to collect the mail at the PO. I drive, of course, and I have to work the clutch in the car with my stick instead of my left leg. My life is painful and sometimes I pass out from the pain but I know that pain is only the weakness coming out and that whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger and if there is no pain there is no gain.

So I bear up as best I can in the face of great difficulties and will, with the help of my walking stick, eventually again be able to resume an abnormal life.


(I'm doing okay. Don't believe the guy who wrote the above.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 09:39 PM

I think she means physically unassisted.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 05:35 PM

How are you these days, Rap? Up and walking around unassisted?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 10:09 AM

Have a drink, and I don't mean tea.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 07:19 AM

Sanmerci... new to me.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 12:25 AM

What could be more ironic than a solipsist practicing plagiarism and then feeling sorry for himself, because, having stolen the works of Himself, he got in trouble with his own creations, who failed to realize he was actually the victim in the situation!

Ah woe,
Ah me,
Shame on many personalities!
Ah woe,
Ah me,
SHame on I and on myself and me!

This could be the beginning of a very funny [parody....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 14 - 09:16 PM

I'm sorry for your friend. The Plagiarism Police (a/k/a the Stanza Stoolies) are known as being difficult to deal with. I usually use a .45.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 14 - 08:18 PM

Hell, if you must plagiarize, do it from the best.


A


Some things never change....

I had a friend, upon a time, and a mighty friend was he.
His tongue went loop-de-loop-de-loop, and his blade went "Snicker! Snee!".
His fingers typed words of delight
Dancing like light gone mad,
But he disappeared quite late, one night,
And the story turned out bad.

It seems his door was knocked upon,
When most folks were in bed,
By two large gents in wrinkled suits
And large, and wrinkled, heads.
They said he had been singled out,
That someone Big was pissed,
Berated him as a useless lout,
And a goddamned plagiarist.

They listed tomes and poems and works
He'd borrowed for a while,
And touted up and frilled out
In inimitable style.
The said he'd never paid a dime
To those whose works he'd borrow,
And all of this was coming back,
To visit him with sorrow.

They told him he was going away,
Into the darkling deeps
Where bad men worry through the day,
And fret too much to sleep.
Where hard men break, and life is hard,
And you scramble for what you get,
And there's no such thing as e-mail,
OR a high-speed Internet.

My friend, he blanched, he paled, he flinched,
He knew that he'd done wrong,
He knew that even then his screen
Held a half-baked stolen song.
He realized then -- too late, too late --
He should have listened, way back when,
To his dear Mom; too late, too late,
He was heard from ne'er again.

And so I come to this Cafe,
To write, and to forget,
But something still recalls to me
This friend I think on yet.
I never learned if he had ever
re-crossed that chilling schism
That split him from the world he loved,
On account of plagiarism.

So good folks all, pray heed this call,
Think of this man, cast doon,
And make your good works all your own,
From your own hand, alone.
Steal not the works of other men,
Or lines of other poets;
For if you do, they'll come for you,
And everyone will know it.

Seamus Sanmerci O'Toole
Lilting the Right -- Poems from the Lexington Express
Dublin Upp Press, New York, 1937


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 14 - 02:32 PM

This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say "To-morrow is Saint Crispian."
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say "These wounds I had on Crispian's day."
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 14 - 12:30 PM

My English degree is bigger, but I won't make the claim that it helps, at least not here.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 14 - 10:02 AM

If you went good grammar you should find some body with a bigger degree in English than my poor little BA.

And it's not a bubo, it's a chancre.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Apr 14 - 09:50 AM

You seem a touch owly.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 14 - 12:32 AM

I would prefer that the Source of All My Being be able to write coherent, grammatical sentences, if you don't mind. Any more funny business and I'll pull your license to operate a Solipsistic Bubble. Or is it more like a bubo?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 14 - 08:11 PM

Well, actually it was a moment of boredom, but that's not as alliterative.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 14 - 08:09 PM

I know you were have that happen and will tell you that it is not your fault. Nor is it my fault, except as far as I thought up Amos in a moment of madness.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Apr 14 - 04:48 PM

Progess, perhaps. Only four attempts to post "no".

There shoulda been a no. I am solopissed over such a blatant omission in my submission. Please accept my self-admonition in my admission of... I need a nap.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Apr 14 - 03:21 PM

"The eye of the solipsist sees all, and finds it good; at least until he steps back from the mirror."

Mother of all BS


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Apr 14 - 08:52 AM

Don't matter the browser. I get half way in, sometimes, and it stalls. Then, if I get in, I read the latest BS and scroll down to post, only to find a wall before the posting box. Then, after several more attempts, I give up. Today... no problems... yet. We'll see if this posts.

For the record, I have to BS to peddle today.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 20 October 2:20 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.