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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Eiseley 07 Nov 13 - 09:20 AM
gnu 07 Nov 13 - 05:44 AM
Acme 07 Nov 13 - 01:18 AM
Amos 07 Nov 13 - 12:41 AM
Rapparee 06 Nov 13 - 05:40 PM
Acme 06 Nov 13 - 03:38 PM
Acme 06 Nov 13 - 03:26 PM
Amos 06 Nov 13 - 01:18 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 13 - 09:59 AM
Pete Jennings 06 Nov 13 - 06:31 AM
Acme 06 Nov 13 - 12:26 AM
GUEST,Nobody in Particular 05 Nov 13 - 11:34 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 13 - 10:22 PM
GUEST,Nobody in Particular 05 Nov 13 - 05:20 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 13 - 09:54 AM
gnu 05 Nov 13 - 08:39 AM
Acme 04 Nov 13 - 08:15 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 13 - 01:23 PM
Amos 04 Nov 13 - 01:16 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 13 - 09:40 AM
gnu 04 Nov 13 - 08:16 AM
Rapparee 03 Nov 13 - 09:46 PM
GUEST,lapgnu (watchin football GO PATS) 03 Nov 13 - 06:22 PM
Amos 03 Nov 13 - 04:44 PM
gnu 03 Nov 13 - 03:59 PM
GUEST,lapgnu 03 Nov 13 - 01:52 PM
Acme 03 Nov 13 - 12:47 PM
Acme 03 Nov 13 - 01:37 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 13 - 09:43 PM
gnu 02 Nov 13 - 03:20 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 13 - 10:39 AM
gnu 02 Nov 13 - 08:05 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 13 - 11:49 PM
Amos 01 Nov 13 - 05:25 PM
gnu 01 Nov 13 - 02:48 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 13 - 09:52 AM
Amos 01 Nov 13 - 05:45 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 13 - 11:46 PM
Amos 31 Oct 13 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 13 - 10:22 PM
Amos 31 Oct 13 - 04:02 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 13 - 03:39 PM
Amos 31 Oct 13 - 02:05 PM
Acme 31 Oct 13 - 01:58 PM
gnu 31 Oct 13 - 12:34 PM
gnu 31 Oct 13 - 11:50 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 13 - 09:25 AM
gnu 31 Oct 13 - 06:09 AM
Amos 30 Oct 13 - 11:39 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 13 - 09:49 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 09:20 AM

Good morning, Mom,
I just thought you'd like to know that I'm still on my study-abroad time. This internet cafe was open late, so I wanted to drop you a line. Krakow is beautiful this time of year. They call it "Golden Polish Autumn." But they do not have any hot sauce in the entire country. The spiciest thing they have (not counting horseradish because that's a different kind of hot) is a type of sweet and tart ketchup. But besides that, the country is wonderful and I've made lots of friends.

I'll write again soon.
Love,
Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 05:44 AM

Another senseless war? Makes my blood curdle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 01:18 AM

The war of the cheeses, I suppose it is just the whey of the world.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 12:41 AM

IF war breaks out, put your faith in the baby cheeses. They have thyme on their sides.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 13 - 05:40 PM

If cheeses have babies they are probably on the way to taking over the world. Reproducing in quiet, dark, places cheeses will infiltrate themselves into our homes and even our very bodies until we no longer can control our actions and thoughts. Then, as cheese zombies, we will be in their control and the war of edam against emmethaler against brie against bleu will rise to new heights of violence! Can't we all sit down together, parmesan and mozzerella and feta and cheddar and all, and work towards the Peace of Cheese?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Nov 13 - 03:38 PM

I haven't looked at that militant atheism thread in forever, but I glanced to see if we were getting troll activity and found this little gem. Transcribed, it reads thus:

Musket in his morphing self posted this tidbit:

I managed to be embarrassing Dad at the weekend. Out shopping with my lad and his family, I noticed the shops were getting ready for Chrimbo and moaning about the fact, (I'm allowed.). I picked up a string bag of Baby Bell Edam cheeses and said, somewhat louder than I should have... "We can put this on the tree! It's its .. The little baby cheeses!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Nov 13 - 03:26 PM

Readers will find no greater spatula precision and artistry than exists on the MOAB. And when you commingle them with wildlife stories (with or without high-intensity lights) you can't go wrong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 13 - 01:18 PM

You might find it easier if you bothered to say WTF you were actually looking for. You want pole dancers, this is the wrong thread. But we have done some spatula dancing, and we have a large bevy of well-trained ilk which could be a smash. Some of us also sing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 13 - 09:59 AM

How COULD you be so mean as to shoot bunny rabbits which are frozen by The Light? Poor li'l things! So harmless (except for tularemia, hantavirus, leptospirosis, lymphocytic choriomeningitis (LCMV), Salmonella, myxomatosis, scabies, ringworm, fleas, ticks, mange, ear mites, plague, and snuffles. They look sooooooo cute, all cut up and simmering in a big pot of stew....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 06 Nov 13 - 06:31 AM

"Holding the light" is called lamping over here, gnu. Great for rabbitting - wait for 10-15 minutes till they come out again and then switch on the gun lamp. There's always one that freezes and ands up in the bag. My lamp's a Tracer Stinger which weighs bugger all and has a 75 yard beam, even with a red filter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Nov 13 - 12:26 AM

We'd spoil your fun if it was "boiled down" - you need to experience all of this as it flows from our fingertips to your viscera. It has been done before - just ask Eiseley. She read as a form of therapy, and I'm sure by the time she finished she'd cleaned off her monitor many times. It's hard not to spit your coffee on the screen when you're laughing at some of the antics contained in these posts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Nobody in Particular
Date: 05 Nov 13 - 11:34 PM

I was hoping perhaps someone on here could boil it down to the top one, two, or few.
Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 13 - 10:22 PM

Please read these posts (all of them if you can). There are many, many recommendations therein.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Nobody in Particular
Date: 05 Nov 13 - 05:20 PM

Hello.

Pardon me for my interruption of your topic.

I, along with my production crew for both film and live or recorded music, are visiting the United States working on a project. While visiting, our schedule allows us some 'down time' to search out new talent.
I am visiting this thread because it is the largest on this site, and we thought to ask anyone here for suggestions as to if they know anyone they may recommend. We are looking for something extraordinary. They may or may not need to be a resident of this particular site. We thought that those of you who are involved with music might know of a particular group, band or individuals who you would feel confident for us to review. This can be from a live performance or a video site.

I will be checking back periodically for you suggestions or recommendations.

Thank you,

Nobody in Particular


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 13 - 09:54 AM

No, I would not. THOSE shots were given by a bent, square, rusty needle with a blunt point with burrs all up and down the needle shaft. It was used for intertesticular injections by the Army and it was long enough to do two at once.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Nov 13 - 08:39 AM

I'll bet if Rap gets one, manly type that he is, will say "... with a rusty needle."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Nov 13 - 08:15 PM

I had a few tetanus shots over the years myself. I'm probably due again, since I can't remember the last time I had one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 13 - 01:23 PM

Of course it wasn't manly! I was only about 10 years old -- it was childlike (or childish, if you prefer).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 13 - 01:16 PM

Well, ya weren't a dying teenager long enough, obviously. You quit while your dying was still in play. Not manly. But overall, I am kinda glad you did.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 13 - 09:40 AM

I didn't even get a line wet. And none of the medicine worked -- I died, but a miracle happened and I came back to life. That's true; you can ask anyone I was in school with at the time. Or just ask my brother; he only speaks The Truth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Nov 13 - 08:16 AM

But, did ya catch any fish? Steppin on a nail is nasty stuff, specially if ya don't catch anything... fish, I mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 13 - 09:46 PM

My great-uncle Hank took us fishing once on a creek ("crick") I later got to know quite well. I stepped on a rusty nail and knew I was going to die because lockjaw sets in immediately and red streaks start running up your leg and then your leg turns black and they cut it off and you die anyway. Or so I knew when I was about eight or ten. Uncle Hank looked at me as I yelled but he had a fish on the line and simply told me to be quiet until he landed it.

It was hard for a dying kid who had a hole in the sole of his tennis shoe to keep quiet while he was dying, but I did. He landed a good-sized fish and then looked at my foot. He pulled a bottle tincture merthiolate out of his jacket pocket and put some on the hole, which caused me to yell again. He gathered up the fish and my two brothers and took me home. My mother took me to the doctor, where I got a tetanus booster shot AND a shot of penicillin. If I knew that I would have to get two shots and be treated with TM I think I would have rather died. I wore the tennis shoes the rest of the summer as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,lapgnu (watchin football GO PATS)
Date: 03 Nov 13 - 06:22 PM

Thanks to you as well, A. Bul MacKenzie... Bill, altho he was a bull of a man. 6' and a bunch. Took me salmon fishin on that visit to Dartmouth when I was 14. Terrible thing to do to a redheaded, blue eyed Irish/French boy... stand him up in reeds taller than he and tell him to watch for game wardens while he used worms for bait rather than only using a fly as required by law. I had to jump up to see over the reeds for three hours. I did so because my old man taught me to respect my elders and to "Fuck, Fight and Hold the Light*". If I had been older, I would have went back to the car and got out of the sun. I mean, wouldn't that have been a better plan? I mean, if the car horn worked, eh? He didn't catch any fish but I spent the night in pain, actually throwing up and I peeled for a couple of days.

* "Hold the Light" = Hunting at night with the aid of a light = "Jacking" Virginia White-Tailed Deer. Farmers don't have time to hunt so they harvest deer at night. Okay by me as long as they are farmers that live on the land they take the deer on. Poaching salmon by using the aid of a small sun burn susceptible little pale Irish boy? Not so much, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 13 - 04:44 PM

Hell, reading those stories, Gnuzer, _I_ even miss her!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Nov 13 - 03:59 PM

Ahyup. I even changed the clock in Mum's car. The Ford? Why bother? Probably mess up the damn computer that keeps telling me my tire pressure is wrong... idiot truck.

Here's a pic of Annabelle. . You'll figure out which one she is immediately.

BTW, Esther married a very rich man whose family had three auto parts manufacturing plants and some hotels in Europe and one parts plant in the US. Mary married a very successful man who had a number of successful retail businesses in the US. Lillian Married a very successful man who eventually owned one of the most successful jewellry companies in Canada (she was the one who built that company and got screwed in the divorce but she did divorce the ignorant prick bastard motherfuker (my old man beat the shit out of him once after he ran his mouth about the Acadians not being real Frenchmen... good story)) and Rose married a very successful man who owned plastics manufacturing plants in Toronto and South America. Annabelle married a pensioned WW1 vet who could not work after he was shellshocked in France. She lived with him in a small house in Dartmouth, NS with a yappy little dog that I absolutely despised (great story about sleeping Uncle Bill farting after supper with the yappy curled up in the crack of his ass). Annabelle and Bul MacKenzie were, relative to her sisters' millionaire families, as poor as turkey turd beer. Did I mention that she was one of the happiest people I ever met and that I liked her the bestest? Well... there ya go eh? Money don't buy happieness they say. Annabelle never "got paid" to be happy and she was one of the richest people I ever met.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,lapgnu
Date: 03 Nov 13 - 01:52 PM

Forgot to log in as gnu. >;-)

SRS... thanks. The real ones are the best. I have a relative that is HUGE. Years ago, we had a fete for a marriage anniversary. Annabelle was introduced and she asked, "What have you been eating? Everything?" Nobody laughed but Annabelle and small children. She would say anything. Some thought she was truly just not right in the head but I have never met anyone happier.

I was dating a lass living in Lunenburg, NS while working airport construction in Atlantic Canada. I had a job in Halifax for a few weeks. She came and stayed with me at the Airport Hotel on weekends. I called Annabelle and arranged a visit with her. Peggy he was a tall lass, built like a brick shithouse but quite slim. Annabelle looked her up and down when I introduced them... "Kinda skinny but I'm sure Gary can fatten you up. Just make sure he gives you a big diamond first. You know the Irish." and she laughed that laugh. I laughed. Peggy was mortified for a few seconds but realized just who Annabelle was and laughed as well. Annabelle then said, "I'm glad you are here. There's something up in the cherry tree. It's scaring the birds. Climb up and get it down for me." Seriously... no shit... lacy pink panties. Brand new lacy pink panties with the price tag still attached. She says, "Oh my. Now how did those get in my cherry tree? Here, Peggy, you might have a use for these. My husband Bill died last year. They wouldn't fit anyway." and, yes, she laughed. Told ya... bag a hammers crazy. I miss her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 13 - 12:47 PM

Did all of you who need to change your clocks get it taken care of? MOM always has a few that are wrong about six months of the year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 13 - 01:37 AM

Whew! Some of the stories one reads here - you can't make up this kind of stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 13 - 09:43 PM

Was she related to Blaise Pascal or St. Pascal Baylon? Probably not the latter because he was a friar who was born in 1540, but who knows?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Nov 13 - 03:20 PM

AHA! I just figured it out! Aunt Annabelle's real name was Jessie Isabel Little and the false name is actually Anna Belle Owens and her mother was Dianah Agnes Paschall (Pascal is the "proper" spelling but the census taker didn't get it right). I always knew... "which one of these is not like the others"... but never had the tools to research what I heard from my old man and uncle just before they died. She was crazy as a bag a yer hammers. Not at all like her sisters. I liked her the bestest. Lillian was cool but Annabelle was off the charts. She'd say stuff that NONE of the snooty Owens sisters would even think. I'll never forget my two week stay in Dartmouth when I was 14. The moon landing, the yappy little dog, the cherry tree, the little plastic telescopic rig with the pic of the naked lady with the BIG tits. She produced it and said, "Someone left this at the grocery store checkout where I work. I don't know what it is but it looks a toy." and handed it to me. I looked and I IMMEDIATELY RACED to my room in the back of the garage. When I finally emerged, she asked "What do ya think of the milk jugs on that?" I blushed profusely and stared at the ground in shame. She said, "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. Just don't wear out your pecker until you get your hands on some real jugs. Now, go pick berries for dessert." and she went to the kitchen to cook. I was dumbfounded. I was as awestruck by her as I was by my new toy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 13 - 10:39 AM

Well, I'm only thinking of poor old Amos. Maybe some Captain Morgan....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Nov 13 - 08:05 AM

Bacardi? Surely you jest. Lamb's Navy. I've chatted at length with Alfred on a number of occasions but it's been years ago. Amber Alfred. Also Old Sam at London Dock. But never Bacardi unless twas else buying.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 13 - 11:49 PM

Lambs, 151 proof. Or I could pop down to the liquor store and get some Pussers...or would you rather have Bacardi?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 13 - 05:25 PM

I'd go a good ways for love or rum, or both, but POcatello? Really???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Nov 13 - 02:48 PM

I must ask my nephew... my bro died a while back. He was given a bottle of Rommel's Rum by the Allied Supreme Commander in Europe, a US general, back in the 60s. We were to drink it upon the first time he took a moose but the cancer took him before that happened. I hope my nephew didn't sell it, as he has done with other family heirlooms.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 13 - 09:52 AM

...catching a ride on train in a tunnel under the border, crouching hidden under a load of manure, shuffling along like a paisano, hidden the wheel wells of an 18-wheeler truck or inside the door moldings of an SUV filled with drugs....

No, my money stays in the good ol' US of A and provides jobs for Real Americans like those who live in Real American states like Idaho. None of that border slinking for US!

By the way, if you ever drop around you can have a drop of the rum I brought back last time I was in Canada....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 13 - 05:45 AM

The only slinking in the whole affair is the long shuffle to get back in the US. It is a pathetic process. But I don't slink. I just stride very slowly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 11:46 PM

At least I had MY dental implants done in US of A...I didn't slink over the border to Mexico or someplace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 10:51 PM

Thank you so much for the kind over; although I know I am missing a great opportunity, after a fashion, or at least some sort of adventure, I fear I must pass. My mother (having just read Death in Venice ) cautioned me never to trust a man with bad teeth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 10:22 PM

If you but ask I can be your guide, your compass, your pole star. Just follow me...I'm not sure of the way, but if I get lost I'll have someone to talk to.

This morning, from 8:30 am to 12 noon, I was in the chair at the dentist's office have six (6) implants implanted. Well, actually two and a four-tooth bridge so there were only four screws. He also filled in two tiny spots of decay and repaired the nicks needed for my (now extinct!) partial plate. In January I will go back to the oral surgeon and have the foundations for another bridge installed and then back to the dentist for the bridge. You didn't ask, but my youngest brother grabbed my bicycle handlebars back in 1959 and sent me teeth-first onto the new blacktop of 16th Street -- and I've been missed permanent front teeth until today! By the way, I do not suggest that you give your mother your front teeth the Saturday before you're to start high school.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 04:02 PM

Indeed; the pathfinder's art is one I have studied long, and practiced, and always hope tog et better at.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 03:39 PM

Stilly, you put weights on the bucket bottoms and the cacti stop growing.

Of course, Amos, but you must sort your way amongst the snares of verbiage and false paths.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 02:05 PM

Oh, no, Senor. All spirituality is not a trap. The labels and artifacts attached to it, for sure, are a form of entrapment, just as any map can ensnare he who wots not the territory. But the raw landscape itself is a field of joy and infinite discovery.

Even boojums can be un-ensnared, given a little of the right kind of communication; but there is an art and skill that force will never approach.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 01:58 PM

You might have a pet ocotillo, but I doubt it is a pet boojam. (Looking for a good illustration I landed on this, which begs the question why the buckets on the top of the cactii?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 12:34 PM

MOAB. The only thread ya don't hafta trace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 11:50 AM

Snuffles likes to defriend people?

I could use a bit of morass meself. I love the bog country of Kent County, nb.ca.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 09:25 AM

ALL "spirituality" is a trap, Amos. The trick is to choose the right path through the morass...and each person has a unique path.

My pet boojum, Snuffles, is a pretty good pathfinder for me. Snuffles is pretty friendly too, as long as I say "Friend, Snuffles! Friend!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 06:09 AM

Warming up here. It's -3C this hour and that's half yesterday's low. I used my remote start yesterday morn. Not me... the truck. Arthritis precludes me from scraping THICK frost off the windows. The high for today will continue to increase overnight and soar to 17 tomorrow. Of course, it will be a great day for flying kites on the marshes if you have a full rain suit and gum bubber boots and weigh at least 100kg or are yourself tethered in some manner. I expect the roofers will have a busy weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 11:39 PM

See, that's what makes the differences between thee and me. I would never stoop to using a spiritual trap, having seen the brutality and harm they can bring about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 09:49 PM

I have a pet boojum, you see.


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