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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 08 Oct 13 - 06:30 AM
Rapparee 07 Oct 13 - 11:19 AM
gnu 07 Oct 13 - 05:16 AM
GUEST 07 Oct 13 - 01:53 AM
Acme 07 Oct 13 - 01:13 AM
Rapparee 06 Oct 13 - 05:32 PM
Acme 06 Oct 13 - 04:48 PM
Acme 05 Oct 13 - 09:23 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 13 - 06:05 PM
gnu 05 Oct 13 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 13 - 05:20 PM
gnu 05 Oct 13 - 03:49 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 13 - 02:52 PM
Acme 05 Oct 13 - 01:33 PM
gnu 05 Oct 13 - 04:18 AM
Rapparee 04 Oct 13 - 08:48 PM
gnu 04 Oct 13 - 04:43 PM
Rapparee 04 Oct 13 - 03:35 PM
Acme 04 Oct 13 - 01:11 PM
Rapparee 04 Oct 13 - 10:10 AM
gnu 04 Oct 13 - 05:36 AM
Rapparee 03 Oct 13 - 10:42 PM
gnu 03 Oct 13 - 08:44 PM
Acme 03 Oct 13 - 04:21 PM
Rapparee 03 Oct 13 - 03:23 PM
MMario 03 Oct 13 - 12:42 PM
Acme 03 Oct 13 - 10:49 AM
Rapparee 03 Oct 13 - 09:17 AM
GUEST 03 Oct 13 - 06:52 AM
Rapparee 03 Oct 13 - 12:50 AM
Acme 03 Oct 13 - 12:31 AM
Rapparee 02 Oct 13 - 06:01 PM
gnu 02 Oct 13 - 11:52 AM
GUEST,Amos 02 Oct 13 - 10:09 AM
Rapparee 02 Oct 13 - 09:42 AM
gnu 02 Oct 13 - 05:54 AM
Acme 02 Oct 13 - 01:07 AM
Rapparee 01 Oct 13 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 13 - 09:09 AM
gnu 01 Oct 13 - 07:25 AM
Acme 01 Oct 13 - 06:25 AM
Rapparee 01 Oct 13 - 01:25 AM
gnu 30 Sep 13 - 10:58 AM
Rapparee 30 Sep 13 - 08:47 AM
gnu 30 Sep 13 - 06:54 AM
Rapparee 29 Sep 13 - 09:44 PM
gnu 29 Sep 13 - 07:57 PM
Rapparee 29 Sep 13 - 06:21 PM
gnu 29 Sep 13 - 04:53 PM
Acme 29 Sep 13 - 03:58 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 13 - 06:30 AM

The Last Little Post O' Mine (The Weepy Ballad)

From Alaska to Texas
And from all points in between

Scrap that, scrap that. Tea... much more tea.......... Monday night football is a killer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 13 - 11:19 AM

I have no idea why the last little post o' mine had me as GUEST.

"The Last Little Post O' Mine" would make a good title for one of those weepy ballads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Oct 13 - 05:16 AM

Congrats to Mrs. Rap for not putting Roundup in your salad for 40 years!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Oct 13 - 01:53 AM

Well, I don't think that a Roundup is a very good salad dressing. But I did meet the two dogs the new neighbors have. Not the people, just the dogs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Oct 13 - 01:13 AM

Congratulations, and enjoy that salad!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 13 - 05:32 PM

I am celebrating the 40th anniversary of my wedding day. Forty years. With my first and only wife. I shall go out later and commit herbicide on some weeds to celebrate in a REALLY big way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Oct 13 - 04:48 PM

It's the weekend so you guys are all out playing. I, on the other hand, mowed the lawn and trimmed the shrub that is taking over the driveway. I think I will have that Shiner Bock cerveza, with some tomato juice as my reward.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Oct 13 - 09:23 PM

For good cerveza ask for Modelo Negra or Shiner Bock.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 13 - 06:05 PM

Eh, oui la. La la la la la la la. Et le Bud, c'est bon pour les estomacs mal, bien que il est de résidu de le pissoir du chevaux. Le c'est bon pour se que le c'est, je assume. Le produire, toutefois, "Les Vent de Mort."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Oct 13 - 05:34 PM

"Even Moosehead." Careful now. Ya donna wanna be settin da Moose loose eh. Antlers roight up yer arse eh?

People ask me why I don't drink moose piss and I can unnerstan at. I mean, I's a Herring Choker eh. But, I did my share when I was a young lad and now it's time ta drink sommat what's easy onna ol gut la, oiu? Connais le eh la?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 13 - 05:20 PM

Didn't yo mama ever teach you about good beer? Even Molson's better'n Bud. Even Moosehead. Even Blue, ferchrissake. That Bud'll give you a case of the staggers 'n' jags faster'n you kin keep 'er down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Oct 13 - 03:49 PM

Point taken. Tonight, BBQd rib steak and fried shrooms and Bud. None a that there green "healthy" crap. That should put me right. And, just to MAKE SURE... NO exercise. Well, I might tap my foot rapidly. Since I haven't had a drop a Bud in near a week, The Cleverly's might just drop by fer a session.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 13 - 02:52 PM

Didn't yo mama ever tell you not to eat green stuff? You eat green grapes or green apples or green anything and you're gonna get the runs or worse! You wait for them things to ripen up, yo hear? And that includes greens!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Oct 13 - 01:33 PM

Hmmmm. Must have been something you ate. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Oct 13 - 04:18 AM

Recipe for Disasster

1/2 c pro-biotic yoghurt
1 lb green California grapes
1 Plumcott plum (very large)
1 honey (Murcott) tangerine (very large)
1 doz freshly picked sugar snap peas
6 freshly picked cherry tomatoes
1 lb left over Vito's lasagna with extra extra cheese
6 oz sour cream & onion Pringles
2 slices cracked wheat toast dripping with peanut butter
As much cold water as humanly possible

Add ingredients randomly to human oven over 14 hours except for lasagna and toast. Add lasagna after heating in conventional or microwave oven to FTH! degrees at suppertime and toast just before bedtime. Add unwashed peas in garden immediately after picking. Mix ingrediants with fairly constant moderate exercise throughout until three to four hours before bedtime. Place oven in dark cold room in prone position and cover with two thick blankets. Continue to bake for approx five hours. Remove from oven when cramps become severe enough to wake oven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 13 - 08:48 PM

...Chateau Neuf du Pape and a hot day for digging a septic tank hole...cold Schlitz or Old Style or Stag or Atlas Praeger or PBR or Falstaff in a boat while fishing...a hot toddy after duck hunting in a cold drizzle or snow...a couple of quarts of homemade GENUINE tequila, a "poker game" in a cabin, a pile of chains, knives, revolvers, hatchets, brass knuckles, pipes, blackjacks, revolvers topped by a shotgun to "keep the game honest" and one scared Mexican college student who suddenly got the joke...a fifth of 100 proof vodka and three college students in a car at night....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Oct 13 - 04:43 PM

Alas, there's nary a drop on the premises here. Sounds good, tho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 13 - 03:35 PM

Beer and Mad Dog...a drink from my past. Beer and Boone's Farm...beer and Thunderbird...beer and whiskey...beer and schnapps...Everclear and grape juice....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 13 - 01:11 PM

I plan to bend my elbow this evening - I picked up a beer and I plan to mix it with some of my home grown canned tomato juice. Mmmmm!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 13 - 10:10 AM

Elbow exercise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Oct 13 - 05:36 AM

I hear ya, Rap. The sooner ya get that done and over with, the sooner ya can get on ta the next job. What's on sched? Touch up or some heavy lifting?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 13 - 10:42 PM

Ibuprofen, tea, Mucinex...what a wonderful way to celebrate! I'm certain sure she'd rather have a good glass of Red Breast Irish or Knob Creek bourbon or Black Bush or....

Me, I'm going to the oral surgeon tomorrow and see how damned soon they can put in my implants and how the bone graft/sinus lift is going. Getting this stuff finished can't happen soon enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Oct 13 - 08:44 PM

A quint? Which one?

A quart? What kind?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Oct 13 - 04:21 PM

Get her a q**** to curl up under and she'll feel much better soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 13 - 03:23 PM

Ain't a-goin' this year. Nor am I going anywhere else -- we WERE going to run off to a secluded hideaway to celebrate our 40th anniversary but Pat's got a terrible cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Oct 13 - 12:42 PM

Getaway sounds good to me - but I'm not heading there until t'marrar


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Oct 13 - 10:49 AM

I vote for the poodle - I don't believe we've had one of them post here on the MOAB before. Lots of duckdogs, dachshunds, I'm sure my pitbull has probably posted, but no poodles. It was an unintentional oversight that has now been corrected. Thank you Mr. Poodle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 13 - 09:17 AM

I think that was either Amos or a toy poodle. Of course, one does not preclude the other.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Oct 13 - 06:52 AM

It's TODAY! TODAY!! We have a van waiting down at the Enterprise place and we will get it and hit the road from NAWTH Cahrlina to Maryland. Yip, yip, yip

Getaway loom sighted on the port bow, sir!

Yip, yip, yip!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 13 - 12:50 AM

Sure. Jerry Falwell, of late memory, knew for certain that the world was going to end as part of the Y2K thing and the Rapture would occur, so he stocked 9mm ammunition.

No, I'm not making that up!

I can only assume that he decided to use those being Take Up as skeet targets or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Oct 13 - 12:31 AM

A Winnebago for the Rapture. Or Rupture. Whatever. Sounds like a B-movie plot or a John Carpenter film, which amounts to about the same thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 13 - 06:01 PM

I'm going to tell Eiseley on you, Amos. And all of the folks up at the Legion Hovel. DON'T even try to return to Sandy Ego, for they will be waiting and will want a "word" with you, if they are sober.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Oct 13 - 11:52 AM

Winter? Ahhh, I had a buggy time with skeeters last eve whilst harvesting Snappdraggon seeds and it's to be 25C today. Got over 1000 and I have 30 - 40,000 to go. Gotta start puttin em the garage at night so the wilted flowers stay dry and the pods will open sooner than later. Glad to hear he was finally able to take a shower.

Thanksgiving dinner invite received. Ahhhh, I can taste the margerine soaked veggies, dry trurkey and pumpkin "cheesecake" already. Maybe I'll bring some wine. Two for the table and one for the floor next to my chair.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Oct 13 - 10:09 AM

My beloved BBW awaits my return from this long peregrination of the glebes of Mortal Existence. When she was explaining what I had in mind to a girlfriend of hers, and how long I thought I would be wandering, the girlfriend exclaimed, "Can youDO that???" as though she'd thought there was some kind of rule against it. Of course there is not. But it is rather a long walkabout. We have been in close touch and she has updated me on all the local news. For example, the neighbors wife, Mrs Brown, has passed on. Several of us are hoping this means he will finally release the ancient Winnebago in his drive, which he has explained that he is saving for the Rapture. Why you would want an RV for the Rapture escapes me but he seemed to think it a good idea. Sigh.

Gabe is alive and well, is now back in winter quarters in Rhode Island, Gnuzer.

Rapparree, I would have come to Pocatello but I have it on good authority that there is no such place as Pocatello. I am loath to commit to imaginary travels and feel I must wait until this matter is properly sorted out before I make any commitments.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 13 - 09:42 AM

Okay, we'll split the loot penance money.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Oct 13 - 05:54 AM

Me two.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Oct 13 - 01:07 AM

Bull Hockey - I posted at 5:30 something this morning (an hour later on Mudcat time.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 13 - 10:46 PM

NO ONE except me has posted to Mom so far today!!!

For shame!!!!

For your penance, you must send me all of your money plus a dollar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 13 - 09:09 AM

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.

The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.

Oh, darn! I overslept and missed my execution.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Oct 13 - 07:25 AM

I was up late and now I am up late.I feel like going back down. Tea might help and might is the operative word. Thank goodness it's cold and rainy as I really don't feel like doin anything... nothin at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 13 - 06:25 AM

Morning, MOM! I seem to be up really early.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 13 - 01:25 AM

I suspect that even buffaloes with bills would get horny at times. Kinda like the shovel-nose goatfish does. Man, if you want to feel inadequate watch shovel-nose goatfish going at it!! I so impressed that i couldn't perform for five or ten seconds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Sep 13 - 10:58 AM

No, not the horny kind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 13 - 08:47 AM

Buffaloes don't HAVE bills. I've seen them and they have noses and lips that you would not want to kiss. Unless genetic engineers and/or the duckdog....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Sep 13 - 06:54 AM

No. Buffaloes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 13 - 09:44 PM

Bills take all of my money. Or do you mean the kind on ducks?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Sep 13 - 07:57 PM

The Bills won by three today! The bastards!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 13 - 06:21 PM

WE will be flying back tomorrow, arriving in SLC in time to overnight and go up to Poky Tuesday morning on the shuttle. Then comes the laundry, the bills, the bills, the bills....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Sep 13 - 04:53 PM

Thannk goodness! Otherwise, A would not have been able to visit me. If herself had set foot in my sty, she would have announced that they couldn't stay for long and the eve would have been over before it started. I am a dedicated bastard... er... bachelor. But, in my defense, I told Gabe to keep his sandals on. BTW, is Gabe still alive, A?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Sep 13 - 03:58 PM

I kinda thought that might be the case, Rap, because you generally only mention q****s in context with Pat. But what about Amos's wife? I haven't heard word one that she is travelling along with him to rake other people's lawns?


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