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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 06 May 11 - 10:48 PM
gnu 06 May 11 - 06:19 PM
Amos 06 May 11 - 05:25 PM
Rapparee 06 May 11 - 02:06 PM
gnu 06 May 11 - 12:55 PM
Amos 06 May 11 - 11:41 AM
MMario 06 May 11 - 10:09 AM
Rapparee 06 May 11 - 09:57 AM
Amos 06 May 11 - 09:55 AM
Acme 05 May 11 - 10:58 PM
Eiseley 05 May 11 - 03:20 PM
gnu 05 May 11 - 03:00 PM
Amos 05 May 11 - 02:42 PM
Rapparee 05 May 11 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 05 May 11 - 02:22 PM
Little Hawk 05 May 11 - 02:01 PM
Donuel 05 May 11 - 11:33 AM
Amos 05 May 11 - 11:30 AM
Amos 05 May 11 - 10:57 AM
Rapparee 05 May 11 - 10:19 AM
Amos 05 May 11 - 10:12 AM
Ebbie 05 May 11 - 01:38 AM
GUEST,Brother Dismas Fiacre 05 May 11 - 12:35 AM
Little Hawk 05 May 11 - 12:18 AM
Acme 04 May 11 - 11:18 PM
Amos 04 May 11 - 10:37 PM
GUEST,Feral Cheryl 04 May 11 - 05:20 PM
Amos 04 May 11 - 03:46 PM
gnu 04 May 11 - 02:17 PM
Little Hawk 04 May 11 - 01:43 PM
Amos 04 May 11 - 01:31 PM
Little Hawk 04 May 11 - 12:52 PM
Amos 04 May 11 - 12:16 PM
Rapparee 04 May 11 - 09:57 AM
Amos 04 May 11 - 09:52 AM
Rapparee 03 May 11 - 09:45 PM
GUEST,freds 03 May 11 - 09:10 PM
Rapparee 03 May 11 - 10:47 AM
Amos 03 May 11 - 10:07 AM
Acme 02 May 11 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 02 May 11 - 11:00 PM
Amos 02 May 11 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 02 May 11 - 09:57 PM
Amos 02 May 11 - 02:28 PM
Little Hawk 02 May 11 - 01:06 PM
Rapparee 02 May 11 - 12:07 PM
Amos 02 May 11 - 11:28 AM
Acme 02 May 11 - 02:24 AM
Rapparee 01 May 11 - 10:48 PM
Amos 01 May 11 - 09:38 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 11 - 10:48 PM

Sounds like Rapparee's nephew gets about 1 Piepowder court per enlistment period.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 May 11 - 06:19 PM

Mine gets about 20 l/100km. You must have some big cookie sheets. Of course, I can haul a shitload of cookies through rough country.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 11 - 05:25 PM

Mine gets about 20 miles to the gallon.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 11 - 02:06 PM

She's at a meeting today, but I happen to know she gets about 120 bushels per acre.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 May 11 - 12:55 PM

Eiseley... sounds deeelicious. What's the yield?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 11 - 11:41 AM

Their problem is that "No problem, been there, done that..." television doesn't electrify viewers!! So it doesn't procure ad revenue!! No duhh!!

I don't like the idea of cardamom chocolate chip somehow...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 11 - 10:09 AM

Hi Mom! Have you watched the Ultimate cookie Challenge on Fod-TV? These are suppossed to be top notch bakers....but they sure sound dumb the way they edit the clips.

first challenge in the contest....make chocolate chip cookies but incorperate one (or more) of the "surprise ingredients.....

They all seem bamboozled...and can't imagine what they are going to do....

but among the ingredients:

ginger
cardoman
black pepper
white pepper
zuchinni
sweet potatoe
pink peppercorns


I've ***HAD**** cookies with those ingredients. Any of the spice could be added to chocolate chip cookies and go well. so could zuchinni I've had chocolate zuchinni cake and chocolate chip zuchinni cookies before.

Sweet potato would go well w/ the spices and with choco chips.

So What is their problem?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 11 - 09:57 AM

I'm expecting the return of my nephew any day now, probably in July. He'll get out of the Marine Corps Disciplinary Barracks at Camp Pendleton then, unless he beats up another guard. I'm lucky to have such ugly and stupid relatives. Actually, I'm lucky to have any relatives at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 11 - 09:55 AM

The NYT, quoting the OED:

piepowder (n.)

(1) A wayfarer, esp. an itinerant merchant or trader. Chiefly in pl., in Court of Piepowders n. (also in sing.) a summary court formerly held at fairs and markets to administer justice among itinerant dealers and others temporarily resident.
(2) 2. = Court of Piepowders n. at sense 1. Also in pl. with sing. concord. Also attrib. in piepowder justice.

Used in a sentence in 1712 by J. Arbuthnot:

"Dost think, that John Bull will be tried by Piepowders?"




1. Pause and reflect that you have just read the words chosen by a being living in the eighteenth century, who naturally used "dost", for example, and breathed the same air you do.

2. Use piepowder in a sentence that shows its meaning.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 May 11 - 10:58 PM

What a clever mom you are, Eiseley!

Have you tried the trick of running things through a garlic press (or a Foley Food Mill if you have a lot) to disguise what they are? My son was picky about onions so in things like guacamole I'd run both garlic and onions through the press, giving the flavor but making onion invisible.

Not broadcasting when, but undergoing mental countdown until #2 child is back here for the summer. Will retrieve him soon. I'm such a lucky mom, to have such beautiful smart children . . . and that's not bragging!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 05 May 11 - 03:20 PM

Butternut Cookies

1 cube butter
˝ cup brown sugar
˝ cup white sugar
1 egg
1 cup pureed butternut squash
2 cups flour
1 tsp. Baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
˝ tsp cardamom
˝ tsp nutmeg
1 cup golden raisins

Cream butter and sugars. Stir in egg and squash. Mix together flour, soda, salt and spices. Add, then beat until smooth. Stir in raisins. Arrange by spoonfuls onto cookie sheets. Bake until lightly browned, about 10 to 14 minutes at 375.

This is the recipe I will make tonight for my children, using frozen squash so I know they'll get a bit of vegetable matter into their systems.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 May 11 - 03:00 PM

Aliens or evangelists.... that's a tough choice. Get probed or fucked up the ass?

I'd go with the aliens on acconta they don't ask fer yer donations. Heck, the aliens probly got free beer and you KNOW the evangelists ain't got none. Well, they probly have beer but they ain't gonna let you have any to ease the pain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 11 - 02:42 PM

...An' he drove me half distracted
With the waggin' of his jaw!
An' the tellin of his stories!
Boys, you have my guarantee
There never was no rounder
Who could brag like Rapparee



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 11 - 02:28 PM

And it's all even numbers! That makes it very magical indeed. This is, for all of us, a truly touching moment. Let you all rejoice and be glad that I have achieved this. Send presents. EXPENSIVE presents.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 11 - 02:22 PM

Mine! All mine!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 11 - 02:01 PM

"he's a hazard to civilized society"

Oh, I like that! ;-D Understated, yet it makes the point eloquently.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 May 11 - 11:33 AM

40600 and one is only a bit more but still fun


Ding Dong! bin Laden's dead. Which old terrorist? The Wicked terrorist!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Laden's dead.
Wake up - you sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Laden's dead.
He's gone where goblins go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's see him dead and look at what the picture shows.
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
The Wicked Laden's dead!

(Obama) As commander and chief, In the County of the Land of UZ, I inform you most regally?
(Holder) But we've got to verify it legally, to see
(Panetta) To see?
(Holder )If he
(Panetta )Is photo'd and buried at sea?
(Admiral Mullen) Is morally, ethically,
(NBC) Spiritually, physically
(ABC) Positively, absolutely
(CBS) Undeniably and reliably Dead

(DNA expert)   As Coroner I must concur, I thoroughly examined this monstrous cur. His mitochondrial DNA cross referenced with his sister shows...
That he's not only merely dead, he's really most sincerely dead.

(Obama) Then this is a day of Independence For all good Americans and their descendants
(Holder) If any.
(Obama) Yes, let the joyous news be spread The wicked bin Laden at last is dead!
(FOX NEWS) We'd really like a picture instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 11 - 11:30 AM

That was forty K and Six, me lads,
A number large and hearty!
Which rightly fell to Mister A
The Mom's most favorite smarty!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 11 - 10:57 AM

See, that Rapp, man--he's nuanced. He insults his own mother in foreign languages and does it so subtly she says thank you, and gives him a doughnut!! He is such an artist, he's a hazard to civilized society.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 11 - 10:19 AM

Guten morgan, fraulein Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 11 - 10:12 AM

It's never too far to one who is infinitely endowed, Ebb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 11 - 01:38 AM

50 X 50- nope, I will likely not catch up.

In the meantime a nudge toward the next zeroes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Brother Dismas Fiacre
Date: 05 May 11 - 12:35 AM

Oh, that poor child! If he is found I hope that he will dedicate his life to God and enter a cloistered monastery. He needs a life of quiet reflection, work, and prayer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 11 - 12:18 AM

There are rumours that Shane disappeared while being transferred to a new facility. Could it be another alien abduction? Is he needed to save an alien civilization in the Third Galactic Quadrant? Or has he been kidnapped by raving evangelists intent on saving his immortal soul from the fires of hell?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 May 11 - 11:18 PM

I don't think he was in the joint, I think he was in the dumpster out back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 11 - 10:37 PM

YEah, he was out on work detail and slipped into a donut place--one of those Canadien donut places--what're they called again? Bronkten's? Whumpster? Carly? I fergit. He was bumming smokes.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Feral Cheryl
Date: 04 May 11 - 05:20 PM

Hey, have you seen r herd from Shane? They moved him from Sudbury to someplays else. He is my flippin MAN and I cant find him now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 11 - 03:46 PM

See, now, Gnu has a dirty mind!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 May 11 - 02:17 PM

Slippery?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 May 11 - 01:43 PM

He is a slippery devil, isn't he? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 11 - 01:31 PM

Well, ya know, LH, waving red flags at known bulls is a good way to get what yer askin' for, if you take my point. I think we all understand that Rapparree's indelicate ambiguities were entirely intentional. All I asked was "what tassels? How twirled?" He answered forthwith and then decided I was dirtier of mind than he was. What a fraud.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 May 11 - 12:52 PM

Shocking inferences! Truly, the mind of the Amos is a putrescent witch's brew of prurient meanderings that would cause a Sicilian harlot to blush...and WHAT is he doing on those clandestine trips to Mexico!???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 11 - 12:16 PM

Actually, I am already very well grounded, thank you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 11 - 09:57 AM

The tassels on her graduation cap and her Beta Phi Mu ones, of course. MOM!! Amos has a dirty mind!! Ground him!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 11 - 09:52 AM

What???? What tassels? How twirled? You are a rogue, a scoundrel, and a flibbertigibett, sirrah.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 11 - 09:45 PM

I have it on good authority that Eiseley will soon be in the tassel-twirling business.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 03 May 11 - 09:10 PM

What is the DNA quality of this hand? Is it superior to the dominant sentient race of this planet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 11 - 10:47 AM

How does a hand bite anyone?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 11 - 10:07 AM

IT's kind of cute, but because the "flip" makes no sense, it isn't as good a pun as the perp wishes it were.

The GUmmint of Pakistan should be given a fair opportunity tomake up for their duplicity with action.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 11 - 11:37 PM

Heard a mixed metaphor today about the aspect of the U.S. continuing to fund Pakistan. The reporter said the U.S. is continuing to feed the hand that bites it. I know what she meant, but should she get away with it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 11 - 11:00 PM

Perhaps I grat on your nerves?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 11 - 10:34 PM

I wish they would let posters edit their own posts!! :D My fat thumbs betray me so often!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 11 - 09:57 PM

"Grat"? Like in Grat Dalton, the outlaw? Sorry, no relation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 11 - 02:28 PM

Rapparree is "great" indeed
At writing someone else's screed
And getting Chongo up to speed
And forecasting his fate.
At plagiarism, high or low
And knowing where the commas go,
And digging spouses out from snow
The man is truly grat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 May 11 - 01:06 PM

Hmmm...

Dissimulation? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 11 - 12:07 PM

I'm changing my "handle" to "Rapparee the Great". I shall leave the rest of it to your knowledge of what I'm great at.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 11 - 11:28 AM

Elevation is an easy claim to make. ;>D

Seriously one of mankind's favorite indoor sports is generating all this arbitrary altitude on completely spurious grounds.

Do remember when the word "great" meant something when applied to human endeavour? Nowadays, it is an ecomium earned by fry-cooks.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 11 - 02:24 AM

The "Papal Bull" is that JPII got beatified. That's the "second miracle" they're looking for, right there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 11 - 10:48 PM

I just sent an email to a priest here, young dude who studied at the Gregorian in Rome, telling him that "Gaudeamus igitur" was a Papal Bull.

Gaudeamus igitur
    Iuvenes dum sumus.
    Post iucundam iuventutem
    Post molestam senectutem
    Nos habebit humus.

    Ubi sunt qui ante nos
    In mundo fuere?
    Vadite ad superos
    Transite in inferos
    Hos si vis videre.

                      And so on. Look it up yourself.

I'll see if he actually reads his emails....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 11 - 09:38 PM

Elevation is an easy claim to make.

A


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