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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 24 Apr 11 - 03:24 PM
Acme 23 Apr 11 - 11:03 PM
Rapparee 23 Apr 11 - 10:40 PM
gnu 23 Apr 11 - 08:15 PM
Amos 23 Apr 11 - 07:52 PM
GUEST,Heidebundt Pikelmaas 23 Apr 11 - 06:24 PM
GUEST,Albert Schweitzer 23 Apr 11 - 06:13 PM
gnu 23 Apr 11 - 02:20 PM
Acme 23 Apr 11 - 11:08 AM
Rapparee 22 Apr 11 - 11:19 PM
Amos 22 Apr 11 - 08:55 PM
Acme 22 Apr 11 - 04:21 PM
Amos 22 Apr 11 - 04:07 PM
Rapparee 22 Apr 11 - 10:19 AM
Eiseley 22 Apr 11 - 12:16 AM
Rapparee 22 Apr 11 - 12:00 AM
Acme 21 Apr 11 - 11:50 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 11 - 11:16 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 21 Apr 11 - 07:12 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 11 - 02:35 PM
gnu 21 Apr 11 - 12:43 PM
Amos 21 Apr 11 - 12:38 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 11 - 10:30 AM
Amos 20 Apr 11 - 11:19 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 11 - 09:55 PM
gnu 20 Apr 11 - 07:28 PM
Acme 20 Apr 11 - 05:39 PM
gnu 20 Apr 11 - 03:22 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 11 - 03:07 PM
Amos 20 Apr 11 - 02:18 PM
Amos 20 Apr 11 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 11 - 10:24 AM
Amos 19 Apr 11 - 07:26 PM
Eiseley 19 Apr 11 - 05:17 PM
Little Hawk 19 Apr 11 - 04:34 PM
Amos 19 Apr 11 - 04:13 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 11 - 03:05 PM
Amos 19 Apr 11 - 11:57 AM
Amos 19 Apr 11 - 11:27 AM
Amos 19 Apr 11 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 19 Apr 11 - 10:25 AM
Acme 18 Apr 11 - 10:36 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 11 - 09:35 PM
gnu 18 Apr 11 - 08:22 PM
GUEST,Albert Einstein 18 Apr 11 - 07:40 PM
gnu 18 Apr 11 - 04:56 PM
Amos 18 Apr 11 - 04:34 PM
Little Hawk 18 Apr 11 - 04:17 PM
gnu 18 Apr 11 - 03:40 PM
Little Hawk 18 Apr 11 - 03:24 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 11 - 03:24 PM

I think I spoke hastily. In fact, I am sure I spoke hastily. I always do.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 11:03 PM

Max is waxing nostalgic for all public workers, from cops to garbage men. He sounds like he's having a very mellow birthday on his radio program tonight. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 10:40 PM

I shan't comment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 08:15 PM

Ahhhhh....

That's as politely as I can orrange it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 07:52 PM

I solved the "rhymes with orange" riddle years ago.

You may delight in mango, or you may rejoice in orange
And while oranges are heavely, the mango's surely mora ange-
elic than bananas.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Heidebundt Pikelmaas
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 06:24 PM

Vat are you sayink? You sayink zat zings zound bedder in Cherman zan zey do in English? Vell, ya, in most cases zat iss right, but vad about "unicorn"? Vat about zat, you verstunkener dumkopf! Und ven are you goink to confess vat you haff REALLY been doing on zees clandestine trips to Mexico?

- Pikelmaas


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert Schweitzer
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 06:13 PM

A bleak and frosty April is a month
That rarely shows a spot of bright orange.
Of autumn's hues she has but a millionth
And sometimes that is only a door hinge.

Albert

Ess zounds besser in der German


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 02:20 PM

Orange doesn't rhyme with month. What the hell you talkin bout Willis?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Apr 11 - 11:08 AM

Good one, Amos! I love how you do that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 11:19 PM

Be glad you weren't trying to rhyme "orange" and "month".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 08:55 PM

How quickly they may criticize
Who live in lofty mansions
But no, it never was the rhyme.
The problem was in scansion.
To make a line come out in time
Will make the whole verse lighter
And I would have gone completely mad
If I had used "typewriter".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 04:21 PM

Had to use "keyboard" because you couldn't make "typewriter" rhyme?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 04:07 PM

'Twas down the thread list I did go!

Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!

I saw poor Mom was sinking low

Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!

So with my keyboard and my pen
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
I sent our Mom back up again!
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!


And now the post is bound to stop,
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
For Mom is back up at the top!
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!


The MOAB thread is surely best
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
For MOAB posters never rest!
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!


And every MOABite's a friend
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
On the thread that never seems to end!
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!


So hoe and row them, bold and brave
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
And never let her misbehave!
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!


And if our hoeing's ever done
Hoe down!! Row down! Johnny, won't you go down!
At least we'll know we had some fun.
Ohhh, hoe them down for MOAB!

Ohhh, hoe them down from dusk to day
And heave away for the next of Kay
And hoe them down for MOAB!


(Traditional Internet Long-thread Shanty, collected in New Bedford by Carl Sandburg in 1936)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 10:19 AM

We'uns done IN-sisted that the backyard work has gotta wrap 'round the 'spargus patch. Iffen any of the plants commit sewercide or are killed off we gonna call the nursery who planted 'em. That's why I ain't digging and plantin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 12:16 AM

Euonymus isn't very winter-hardy. Oh, it might survive a regular winter, but anything below about 0 for very long will kill it. I hope you're keeping your few precious stalks of asparagus.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 11 - 12:00 AM

The plants are all adapted to or amiable to this climate. The backyard will more xeriscaped, using primarily decorative native grasses and such things. The front will include boxwood and arborvitae, with roses and other things along the edge of the east side of the driveway. The flowers (tulips, irises, daffodils, jonquils, etc.) already in place in front of the house will stay; some euonemus (spelling is wrong!) will probably be planted for winter color. Not complete xeriscaping, but about 75%.

We are well aware of water here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 11:50 PM

It is officially air conditioner season in Texas. A bit early this year. It won't be every day, but for the last two evenings I've run one of them to pull some of the humidity out of the house.

Rap, are you putting in a xeriscape yard? Make sure, when they plant that tree, that they soak the roots and unwind all of the wrapped up roots. If it's balled and burlap, it's probably okay as is. Then stake them out with pegs of some sort so they stay unwound. And don't plant it too deep. If it is coming out of a pot, there is usually extra dirt that was thrown on top and the tree is suffocating. You need to be able to see the root swell, and it is better to be planted too shallow rather than too deep in the ground.

I spoke with my organic gardening guru's right hand helper today. I may start screening calls on his weekend call in program. It's a bit of a commute, but it might be fun. "You want to ask him WHAT??? Does your wife know you're using the phone?"

Hehehe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 11:16 PM

Shame, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 07:12 PM

Ah-Ha! Ha! Ha! Decent, man! I like the bit about the 6 weeks of hockey.

- Don

p.s. Amos is a flippin' genius! Did ya see his latest pome about Shane?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 02:35 PM

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter
represented.

The first blonde, an American, said "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and wouldn't let her in.

The second blonde, a Brit, said "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus's birth and exchange gifts."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he wouldn't let her in either.

The third blonde, a Canadian, said she knew what Easter was, and St.Peter said, "So, tell me."

She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was
betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung him on the cross and eventually he died. Then they buried him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ..... "

St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 12:43 PM

PICNIC


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 12:38 PM

Reminds me of the blonde secretary who needed to compress a document to a smaller file size so it would go through e-mail. So she changed every font in the document to 9-point from 12-point.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 10:30 AM

I'm printing out all of Mom, shredding the paper, and using it for soil conditioner. The nutrients should be excellent!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 11:19 PM

DOn't let them slip you short measure on the soil preps, Rapp--make them prepare it and mix deep and thoroughly or the new plantings will suffer a year from now.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 09:55 PM

The plant folks called. Installation in the front yard begins immediately and includes a shade tree. And it came in at a lower cost than expected!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 07:28 PM

I supervise well. Especially when well oiled. Tends to to make me less demanding. Of course, if I am getting paid for supervision, no amount of oil will sway my quality control.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 05:39 PM

Yup, we're fine here. A friend who lives over near McDonald Observatory in the Davis Mountains sent photos from the observatory that look like they're filming the final scenes of Independence Day in the Texas mountains.

I just scored a trailer load of dirt that came out of my next door neighbors' yard after they dug up the turf to put in an enlarged backyard patio. This was so helpful because I would have had to buy a load of dirt and pay to have it delivered to finish work on a wall I need to build in the front yard. The dirt will fill in behind it as I complete a berm I've built to keep traffic out of my yard from the street that intersects at the "T" in front of my house. I'll at least slow them down with a wall and a pile of dirt.

You all can bring your beer over and supervise when I build the wall. Hopefully this weekend and next.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 03:22 PM

Shane is outept.

A... showoff!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 03:07 PM

Or heroine!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 02:18 PM

Stilly:

Are you all right? Don't be a hero.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 12:14 PM

How yepe thou art.

Francis Duckdog Drake, who started life as a mere boson, and became the scourge of the Seven Dimensions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 11 - 10:24 AM

Francis who???

of Assisi?
Solanus?
Xavier?
Arnold?
the Talking Mule?
Bacon?
Marion?
Scott Key?
Drake?
Ford Coppola?
Crick?
Dalton?
Gurry?
, Utah?

Or was "Francis" the surname?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 07:26 PM

To you my friends both yepe and ept
I pass my adulation
No matter where, or how yclept
My earnest admiration.
For you have shown full worthy folk
An honred trust to keep
Maintaining Mom with all aplomb,
Full ept, and true, and yepe.


Francis


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 05:17 PM

Fine poems and commentary, O Yepe and Ept ones!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 04:34 PM

No one has ever called Shane ept.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 04:13 PM

Yepe, yap, yept
The man yclept
Yon Rapparree
Is not inept
But mayhap yaps.

Thanks for the stellar input, Booke Manne!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 03:05 PM

Amos, the word "yepe" become, over the centuries, "ept" and from that, of course we also derive "inept" (e.g., "He was as inept as a carpenter as he was as a poet").

I already knew the word "quiddity", not only because I studied Latin when young and have a large vocabulary, but also because my wife's a lawyer. (Please note the "not only...but also" construction in the foregoing sentence. That's the kind of thing us English Majors learned.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 11:57 AM

"In scholastic philosophy, quiddity ( /ˈkwɪdɪti/;Latin quidditas) was another term for the essence of an object, literally its "whatness," or "what it is." The term derives from the Latin word "quidditas," which was used by the medieval Scholastics as a literal translation of the equivalent term in Aristotle's Greek.

It describes properties that a particular substance (e.g. a person) shares with others of its kind. The question "what (quid) is it?" asks for a general description by way of commonality. This is quiddity or "whatness" (i.e., its "what it is"). Quiddity was often contrasted by the scholastic philosophers with the haecceity or "thisness" of an item, which was supposed to be a positive characteristic of an individual that caused them to be this individual, and no other.

In law, the term is used to refer to a quibble or academic point. An example can be seen in Hamlet's graveside speech found in Hamlet by William Shakespeare. "Where be his quiddities now, his quillets, his cases, his tenures" says Hamlet referring to a lawyer's quiddities." (Wikipedia)


Clearly, he who best masters quiddities is most yeve.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 11:27 AM

yepe (adj. & n.)

(1) Cunning, crafty, sly, wily.
(2) Prudent, wise, sagacious, shrewd, astute.
(3) Active, nimble, brisk, alert; bold, daring.

Used in a phrase in c1485 in Digby Myst:

"Iohn, your cosyn, most virtuus & ȝepe."

The children of the House of Mom
(While sluggish neighbors sleep)
Are dancing on the BS plane,
Full bright, awake, and yepe.
No dank retreats or sullen snooze
These stalwart artists keep
But clear and loud their posts go out
All bright, awake and yepe.
THen tell your friends, and dare your foes
No more to live asleep!
But join the sons of MOAB bold
ANd live their lives all yepe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 10:50 AM

Ouch! Stay safe, Still. Ready up your evac stuff just in case.


Erratum:



Little Hawk nabbed 40,444. In four hundred thousand more posts we shall see the Grand Quattro Grande Quaternary post, number 4444 44,444. Such an occasion has never before been seen on the MOAB!! The only post that came even close was 3,333    33,333.


Happy now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 10:25 AM

And the AP reports that they may have doubled in size.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 10:36 PM

Texas is on fire this evening. The smoke is not over us now, but if the wind shifts, tomorrow could be miserable. Too bad those tornadoes of early in the week didn't rain on and blow out the fires.

The fire is so hot that it is crowning across the prairie forests. There are actually a lot of trees down here. Or there were.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 09:35 PM

If you're in the mood for something really good, try this. It's worth a quarter-hour out of your life to watch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 08:22 PM

Huh? 4444 was posted a while back... no? What am I missing here? Shrooms or sommat? Hey man, I never did no acid man. Hey man !....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert Einstein
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 07:40 PM

In 3997 posts, actually, Mr. Amos. You forgot to multiply by ten. An easy mistake, as I found when I tried to multiply the speed of light by the trajectory of a Joycian quark.

Albert


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 04:56 PM

Always use synthetic flooring in a basement no matter if there are no water problems becuase there will be (99.9%) some day.

As for a pump, an inexpensive rotary hand pump is a good idea to have on hand. Princess Auto has the on sale quite often... a pump used to fuel from a barrel. Just run a mix of water and canola oil through it after ya pump out a basement and she's good to go for years on the shelf.

I always used to tell my clients to check their sump at least twice a year. Many sumps are not fully concrete lined and I call this design an "underslab drainage" design. It works well until the fines in the underslab gravel or original soil block the trap in the weep system. Then it's up ta yer arse in alligators time.

BTW... if any of youse want to ask any questions regarding your homes, feel free. Bob Vilas and Holmes on Homes times ten and added together still seem like twits to me. I cringe when I watch their TV shows. Now, I don't know everything and I make mistakes too, but those guys should be prosecuted for their incompetence.

Oh... yeah... I have about 30 of these. left over. If ya want one, they are $25 plus shipping. They are $69 plus tax at the website. Dunno if shipping is included in their price. They are an excellent resource. I would send them for free to youse guys but Revenue Canada hires some VERY nasty accountants and I don't need them crawling up my account again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 04:34 PM

Little Hawk nabbed 40444. In four hundred more posts we shall see the Grand Quattro Grande Quaternary post, number 4444. Such an occasion has never befor3e been seen on the MOAB!! The only post that came even close was 3,333.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 04:17 PM

This basement used to get water in it every spring, coming in from the east wall. I eventually cured that problem by extending the eavestroughs at the eastern end of the house so that the rainwater would get dumped about 10 feet out from the house instead of right at the edge of the walls. That seems to have fixed it. It's much drier now. (I assume all that water was saturating the soil on the east end and slowly leeching right through the concrete walls and foundation.) As for the concrete floor, I've covered most of it with synthetic floor tiles (they're made of some kind of thin plastic material that looks like a ceramic floor tile). There used to be a ratty old carpet down there (terrible idea!) and it got mouldy, of course, so I ripped it all out, used bleach and vinegar on the floors to kill the mould, dried the place out, then put down the plastic tiles over the concrete. And I use dehumifiers down there in the warm weather. So far, so good.

The water table is definitely higher than the basement floor. I have a sump pump here, and it runs quite frequently. When and if the sump pump fails (which has happened the odd time), the basement will flood to a depth of a few inches of water...assuming one stood back and did nothing about it. There's always been someone here to do something about it when that happened. In the case of an extended power failure, the only recourse would be to run the sump pump with a generator, and I had to do that on one occasion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 03:40 PM

Basement floor... it depends. 99% of the time, foundations are not backfilled properly and the weeping tile gets silted up (it takes a while and the newly required 5 year warranty is up, of course). In such a case, the same thing will happen with the paint on a basement slab if the water table is above the level of the slab. Of course, this in the case in most locations.

I tried to build houses that were designed (I had some really neat "extras") and built to avoid such problems... not just with foundations but with lots of things... and I couldn't compete. People who don't know the difference just look at the $.

As for YOUR basement slab... is there efflorescence on the top of the slab near the walls? That's a first step in assessing the situation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 03:24 PM

So, are you saying that it's best not to paint concrete at all? Just to leave it "natural"? How about on a basement floor?


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