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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 24 Jan 11 - 01:42 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 24 Jan 11 - 12:45 PM
Amos 24 Jan 11 - 12:14 PM
Eiseley 24 Jan 11 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 24 Jan 11 - 09:00 AM
Rapparee 23 Jan 11 - 09:02 PM
gnu 23 Jan 11 - 08:29 PM
Janie 23 Jan 11 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 11 - 08:05 PM
Amos 23 Jan 11 - 04:56 PM
Eiseley 23 Jan 11 - 02:27 PM
Amos 23 Jan 11 - 01:28 PM
Acme 23 Jan 11 - 01:19 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 11 - 12:22 PM
Little Hawk 23 Jan 11 - 11:33 AM
Amos 23 Jan 11 - 11:09 AM
Rapparee 22 Jan 11 - 10:15 PM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 22 Jan 11 - 10:14 PM
Amos 22 Jan 11 - 10:03 PM
Little Hawk 22 Jan 11 - 09:36 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 11 - 09:05 PM
Amos 22 Jan 11 - 03:37 PM
Little Hawk 22 Jan 11 - 01:19 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 11 - 12:55 PM
Amos 22 Jan 11 - 12:16 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 11 - 10:25 AM
Rapparee 21 Jan 11 - 01:49 PM
gnu 21 Jan 11 - 12:57 PM
Little Hawk 21 Jan 11 - 12:11 PM
Amos 21 Jan 11 - 10:57 AM
Rapparee 21 Jan 11 - 09:49 AM
Amos 21 Jan 11 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 21 Jan 11 - 09:37 AM
Acme 21 Jan 11 - 12:29 AM
Amos 20 Jan 11 - 10:17 PM
Rapparee 20 Jan 11 - 09:41 PM
Rapparee 20 Jan 11 - 09:36 PM
gnu 20 Jan 11 - 06:43 PM
Ed T 20 Jan 11 - 06:16 PM
Ed T 20 Jan 11 - 06:06 PM
Ed T 20 Jan 11 - 05:57 PM
Ed T 20 Jan 11 - 05:52 PM
Acme 20 Jan 11 - 05:32 PM
Amos 20 Jan 11 - 04:48 PM
Rapparee 20 Jan 11 - 02:30 PM
Amos 20 Jan 11 - 02:20 PM
Eiseley 20 Jan 11 - 12:00 PM
Acme 20 Jan 11 - 11:38 AM
Rapparee 20 Jan 11 - 09:40 AM
Amos 19 Jan 11 - 11:39 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 01:42 PM

Mebbe if you understood more than 2 per cent of them you would, like, feel like better, man. Ya think?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 12:45 PM

Holy flip.

I feel so sad when I read yer flippin' posts, man. It is pathetick.

Look, any time you need some advice on gettin' a flippin' life and pickin' up girls and importent stuff like that...gimme a call, eh?

I will give you advice for beer. One bottle of beer fer each peace of advice.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 12:14 PM

A brief summation of MOAB:

Summation of an infinite sequence of values is not always possible, and when a value can be given for an infinite summation, this involves more than just the addition operation, namely also the notion of a limit. Such infinite summations are known as series. Another notion involving limits of finite sums is integration. The term summation has a special meaning related to extrapolation in the context of divergent series.

The summation of the sequence [1, 2, 4, 2] is an expression whose value, the sum of the sequence, is defined to be that of the repeated addition 1 + 2 + 4 + 2, namely 9. Since addition is associative the value does not depend on how the additions are grouped, for instance (1 + 2) + (4 + 2) and 1 + ((2 + 4) + 2) both have the value 9; therefore, parentheses are usually omitted in repeated additions. Addition is also commutative, so permuting the terms of a finite sequence does not change its sum. (For infinite summations this property may fail; see absolute convergence for conditions under which it still holds.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 10:35 AM

I'm glad you got to see your uncle over Thanksgiving---and that you could give him that gift from you and your mom. I'm sorry you can't go to the funeral, but it seems you honored him while he was alive.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 09:00 AM

Come to think of it, I know some people who must be bivalves. Mostly politicians, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 09:02 PM

On clams: well, yes and no.

Clams are bivalves, which includes snails and oysters, among other things. Bivalves have ganglia, such as the "cerebral ganglia" in snails or the "central ganglia" in clams. In short, bivalves have a sort of nerve pathway and central processing unit -- but it ain't much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 08:29 PM

My condolences, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 08:26 PM

Sorry to hear of your uncle, Rap, and counting on a good outcome for your better half.


I have only read the last 50 posts to catch up. The most interesting post was Ed T.'s tidbit that clams don't have brains.

Iz zat true????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 08:05 PM

My Uncle Gene died at 1:00 a.m. today. He'd been sliding downhill since September; I visited him just before Thanksgiving.

A WW2 veteran, he was one of the men who stepped up help my mother with her three sons after my father died when I was five year old. I remember rabbit and squirrel hunting with him, and the vegetable gardens he loved. For the Y2K scare he told me that there would be over 100 jars of canned vegetables in his basement "and I've stocked 120 rolls of toilet paper -- if this thing doesn't happen I'll still be able to use it."

His wife, my Aunt Ruth, has developed seizures of an unknown origin in the last three or four months and is in a nursing home. She hasn't seen Uncle Gene in a month and probably won't be able to attend the funeral -- everyone expects that her own isn't far off.

I'm told that he was talking to my mother, who died in 1981, and his father (1953) last night.

Yesterday a good friend and a fine trumpeter, Greg Sparrow, died. He was a Vietnam veteran and best man at my brother's wedding.

Unfortunately I can't get to either funeral.

Please remember these two -- Uncle Gene was also a singer and played (I'm sorry, but I must tell the truth here) saxophone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 04:56 PM

I:

We was north and east of everything;
We had never been so far;
We were way past using compasses
And we weren't too good at stars.
And the dogs were lean and mettlesome,
And not sure if we was friends
Or how they felt about pressing on
Where the known lands fade to an end.
We were well past civilization
Or anything maps could show,
And the wind was cold and bitter
And it sure knew how to blow.
And the ice in the wind could knock you dead
If you tried to look its way;
So we weren't too sure we'd ever get
To the goal of forty Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 02:27 PM

That was funny, Stilly.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 01:28 PM

Although his brain is deep and lobey
He suffers from a dickless Moby!
And if he's high or if he low be
No joy derives from Dickless Moby.
The lights that glare are bright and strobey
But heavy still, that dickless Moby.
His shoulders broad, of greatest thickness
Do not relieve his Moby, DIckless.
And with pain his being shall be pricked
Until his Moby becomes Dicked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 01:19 PM

After an absence of just a few hours it is sometimes quite a challenge to jump into the stream again. All I can think of are one word titles this morning. Babbitt. Arrowsmith.

But wait. His Moby has no Dick. That'll work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 12:22 PM

But my heart has soul, and my love no bounds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 11:33 AM

You, sir, are what is referred to in Jamaican patois as a blabbamout'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 11 - 11:09 AM

Yet your War has no Peace, your Troilus no Cressida, your Empire no decline, your Barnes lacks all Noble, your Calvin has lost its Hobbes, your parks their recreation, your health their human services, your better homes their gardens, and your William its Mary!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 10:15 PM

Amos, I have sense AND sensibility, and my pride precludes prejudice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 10:14 PM

Amos Lightfoot: "...I have always enjoyed better premises at which to be drunk. As for being covered,....we always closed the dumpster lid".

Wink,
GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 10:03 PM

As for not offending others' sensibilities, perhaps you should abandon the effort as a lost cause, cut your losses, so to speak, and take up Christian Science.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 09:36 PM

You seem to be describing Shane's life on the weekends, Rapparee, only he usually can't afford cheap wine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 09:05 PM

"Debris" was a euphemism. That's what you use if you a hesitant about saying someone was laying in a gutter covered with puke, cheap wine, and various kinds of filth. The word "Euphemism" comes from the Greek Ευφημισμός, which means "a more delicate way of saying something so that you don't offend the sensibilities of others or get a good poke in the nose."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 03:37 PM

Although I have often been drunk, sir, I have never lain in a gutter; I have always enjoyed better premises at which to be drunk. As for being covered, I was born with a silk sarong around my waist, and have always been th ebetter for it; I have been covered in satins, tweeds, homespun, and eiderdown, but never in debris.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 01:19 PM

I think that the less we hear about your upbriniging, the better, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 12:55 PM

So laying drunk in gutters, covered with what can only kindly be called "debris," comes naturally to you, Amos? I used to be quite a wastrel, but I was taught to be so. Lord, man, you are a Natural Talent!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 12:16 PM

I think the reason Mom gives Rapp such good advice is that she feels sorry for his tongue. In any case, I never got taught those things, the way she explained "Shut up" to him. My upbriniging was much less kind and considerate. Keep that in mind the next time you go casting aspersions, oh Scurrilous One.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 11 - 10:25 AM

Good Lord, Mom! You were second from the very bottom! You know better than to go slumming like THAT! Laying in the gutter covered with peels and worse and stinking of cheap gin -- it that any sort of example to give your kid...well, Amos already does that, I guess. Quite often, in fact. But the rest of us are well-mannered and upstanding citizens, just as you taught us to be. Don't go letting us down now and...what do you mean, "Just shut the hell up, kid!"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 01:49 PM

Amos, it's called (by the Mayo Clinic, among other reputable establishments) "Hairy Black Tongue." Oh, yeah -- it goes away without treatment and you get it sort of the same way you get Hairy Green Palms.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 12:57 PM

I had that after I got Screeched In (properly... not this whimpy tourist type Screeching In.) It comes back now and then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 12:11 PM

Licanthrobitiasis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 10:57 AM

What is this furred-tongue condition called?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 09:49 AM

One of the medical conditions doctors don't talk much about....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 09:48 AM

Is that the tale of his travels down the unmeasured river that he barely survived? Grand story.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 09:37 AM

Well, I still have the pipes. I used to be able to play music on them, but I'm really, really out of practice. They're up on top of the bookcase, next to the toilet bowl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jan 11 - 12:29 AM

No "worldly appointments" (or interest in) but the dog to lie at my feet whilst I enjoy a rousing tome of Teddy Roosevelt's adventures in Africa I can manage. Two dogs, in fact. And since it's a cold night out, they'll be in their beds, not at my feet. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 10:17 PM

It's fine indeed that you have such worldly appointments to give you airs, sirrah, saving you the trouble of doing it yourself.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 09:41 PM

By the way, Eiseley has been in my office several times and the trophies have never bothered her one whit. They are all tastefully done and, with the dark walnut wainscoting, paneling, bookcases, gun racks, and fireplace give the place quite an air of the well-bred and well-read gentleman. It's a pity I gave up smoking my pipes and don't have a dog to lie at my feet whilst I enjoy a rousing tome of Teddy Roosevelt's adventures in Africa, smoke a good shag tobacco, and enjoy a fine single malt or cognac while the snow gently falls outside.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 09:36 PM

Gnu got BC!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 06:43 PM

Clams got legs!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 06:16 PM

HAPPY AS A CLAM   
A clam has only two goals in life: to eat and to have sex, hence the phrase "happy as a clam". Unfortunately, as the clam has no brain, it derives no real pleasure from either food or sex. The clam is a chemically driven shell full of salty flesh that exists to procreate. The clam's remarable fruitfulness serves not only to reproduce itself, bit also to feed countless organisms in the seaside food chain.

A clam two or three inches in diameter would probably be three to five years old.
It takes about 25 to 28 months for clam larvae to reach a market size clam.
Undisturbed, clams live to the thirty-three to thirty-six year old range.
Clams feed year-round, though they feed less in winter because they need less energy.

(accoring to Mac's Back Door Oyster Bar and Grill, anyway).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 06:06 PM

Woodcock are secretive creatures, possessing uncanny restraint and such confidence in their camouflage that they will sit still even when a predator ? or a hunter's boot ? is inches away.

Their migration is equally mysterious. Birds careen south in waves called flights, following the first frosts, migrating south from Canada, Minnesota, Michigan and Maine to their wintering grounds in the American South. They navigate meandering valleys, power lines and highway corridors, ushered along by north winds and guided by a roadmap of fall colors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 05:57 PM

The Maine state motto, "Dirigo" (I lead).

The Maine State Flag

On March 21, 1901 the Maine State Legislature passed "An Act to Establish a State Flag." The flag was to include a Pine Tree centered on a buff colored field. Equidistant from the hoist and upper border of the flag a blue polar star was to be displayed.

Interestingly, on February 23, 1909, the State Legislature adopted a new standard, describing the state flag as a display of the Maine coat of arms on a blue field. This is the flag in use today, more or less.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 05:52 PM

Its maine


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 05:32 PM

I'm sure he has to pay others to take a look. More than the normal co-pay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 04:48 PM

I don't think I want to see the walls of Rapparee's orifice. You'd have to pay me a LOT to do it, by gar.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 02:30 PM

Yeah, all of their heads are mounted and grace the walls of my orifice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 02:20 PM

EErapar is just an old emordnilap relaets.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 12:00 PM

Did you see that? Rapparree went and bagged the palindrome out from under our eyes!

Oh well, he can have it this once.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 11:38 AM

I read your poem, Little Hawk. It was sweet, had the lightness of a tightly wound very short dog. :)

Mike, tell Pat we're behind her 110% - just because she's had the Big C once doesn't mean it doesn't scare the bejeesus out of you the second time round.

Speaking of her quilting, it reminds me that I need to start encroaching on the big cabinet I built for my daughter when she was in high school. It's full of stuff she doesn't use any more - and I want to fill it full of cloth I've forgotten about because it is out of sight in a dresser right now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 11 - 09:40 AM

If she doesn't beat it, it won't be my fault. She's already whipped the Big C once and she'll do it again. Meanwhile, next Tuesday, the day after the next biopsy, she leaves for the winter quilt retreat in Indiana (she's a charter member); surgery is the day after she gets back.

Gotta gitter done!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jan 11 - 11:39 PM

You know she has our best wishes and thoughts, Rapp. Take good care of her.


A


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