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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 08 Jan 11 - 09:38 PM
Amos 08 Jan 11 - 08:27 PM
Amos 08 Jan 11 - 05:32 PM
gnu 08 Jan 11 - 05:31 PM
Rapparee 08 Jan 11 - 04:44 PM
Acme 08 Jan 11 - 10:58 AM
Amos 08 Jan 11 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 08 Jan 11 - 09:36 AM
Rapparee 07 Jan 11 - 08:44 PM
Acme 07 Jan 11 - 04:43 PM
Amos 07 Jan 11 - 03:39 PM
Acme 07 Jan 11 - 12:02 PM
Amos 07 Jan 11 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 07 Jan 11 - 10:03 AM
Little Hawk 07 Jan 11 - 05:42 AM
Acme 07 Jan 11 - 02:42 AM
Acme 07 Jan 11 - 12:27 AM
Rapparee 06 Jan 11 - 11:30 PM
Amos 06 Jan 11 - 09:36 PM
Eiseley 06 Jan 11 - 07:58 PM
gnu 06 Jan 11 - 07:05 PM
Little Hawk 06 Jan 11 - 07:01 PM
Amos 06 Jan 11 - 06:51 PM
Amos 06 Jan 11 - 06:41 PM
Little Hawk 06 Jan 11 - 05:00 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 11 - 03:32 PM
Amos 06 Jan 11 - 02:41 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 11 - 02:00 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 11 - 01:59 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 11 - 01:58 PM
Little Hawk 06 Jan 11 - 01:09 PM
Acme 06 Jan 11 - 11:38 AM
Amos 06 Jan 11 - 11:34 AM
Rapparee 06 Jan 11 - 09:54 AM
Amos 06 Jan 11 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 05 Jan 11 - 08:49 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 05 Jan 11 - 05:30 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 11 - 02:57 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jan 11 - 02:28 PM
Amos 05 Jan 11 - 01:58 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jan 11 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 11 - 10:12 AM
Amos 04 Jan 11 - 11:41 PM
Eiseley 04 Jan 11 - 11:04 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 11 - 03:13 PM
gnu 04 Jan 11 - 03:11 PM
Amos 04 Jan 11 - 02:54 PM
Amos 04 Jan 11 - 10:21 AM
Acme 04 Jan 11 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 04 Jan 11 - 09:28 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 11 - 09:38 PM

Good for you. Did she bring her gun with her? Library Association meetings can get on your nerves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 11 - 08:27 PM

We hve seen a sweet movie called "Outsourced" with a good endinng Recommended!! Now we are swapping songs and eating pizza.

The temperature outside has plummeted to a bitter 60 degrees F.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 11 - 05:32 PM

Dear Mister Raparree:

Miss Eiseley is shocked, and appalled, and disconcerted and nonplussed and offended and irked by your presumptuous remark. She asserts in retribution she will bring you back only ONE pen, and will insure it has no ink.

We have roamed the county from the towering peaks of Mount SOledad looking over the jewel-like reaches of La Jolla, to the coves of the shore where the sea-lions gather on the Children's Cove (keeping the children away) and we have been in the interior of the Star of India and along her decks, and upon her very quarterdeck, too!

Furthermore we have investigated the very deck of the HMS Surprise where Jack Aubrey, his own self, wore a circular path pondering the treacherous French. And the bowels of a record-setting deep-diving submarine. The temperature was in the low 70's, without a drop of white paint to be seen!!

SO there. Blllgggrrrrp[ppppppppt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jan 11 - 05:31 PM

She is into rugs?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 11 - 04:44 PM

Do these things mean Eiseley is a hooker?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jan 11 - 10:58 AM

I hope to get to escort Eiseley around here in May. It'll be a squeaker, picking up my son in Arizona early that week then being here for the UNT graduation late in the week, but I think we'll manage at least a visit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 11 - 10:48 AM

I shall be escorting the Faire Eiseley around town this morning in the very best Southern California hospitality fashion.

Snarks aside, I don't think him or he are possessive nouns. They are disponential verbal analogues. Or else they are actually meta-pronouns acting as exponential pre-nominatives or differential intensifiers. Depends on the context.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 11 - 09:36 AM

Eiseley will be hooking up with Amos very soon. Maybe she can give him some couth but she'd probably be wasting her time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 11 - 08:44 PM

Amos, settle down! Be cool! She's got a grammar book and she's not afraid to use it.

(I prefer Strunk and White, myself.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jan 11 - 04:43 PM

You're right, pronouns. And it isn't all uses of the word, but it looked like that in one instance. That was supposed to be a one-off snark, so don't make me get out the Harbrace and read it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 11 - 03:39 PM

Lesse, I'm trying to come up with examples of that here..."Fuck him!" "No, fuck HER!". No, that isn't right.

"He loaned me him WInchester." Nah, doesn't seem kosher, somehow.

A possessive NOUN? ANd here I thought they were both pronouns!! What is this book you have??? Does it give examples? "Him tore him shirt fighting her dog"...?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jan 11 - 12:02 PM

Him and Her are frequently possessive nouns used instead of "he" and "she." It says so in my Harbrace College Handbook.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 11 - 11:27 AM

"Him" is a possessive noun? Woah,, you been in Texas too long, there, Still. They've been rewriting the textbooks again, haven't they? "Me an' Buck went and picked up the Lawson sisters in him pickup truck."....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 11 - 10:03 AM

...you really should meet Jacqui and him.

There, I fixed it. Or perhaps I should have said, "...meet Jacqui and what's-his-name."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jan 11 - 05:42 AM

Oh, how lovely! What a sweetie. ;-) Thanks!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jan 11 - 02:42 AM

LH - this one's for you!

I picked it up looking at the photos of dogs in the snow that people submitted to Cesar Millan's site (I sent a few shots of my pooches also, but they're not wiener dogs!) It's on flickr.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jan 11 - 12:27 AM

he and Jacqui. Him is a possessive noun in "him and Jacqui," don't you think?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 11:30 PM

...and Morse code. If you don't know Morse, you really should meet him and Jacqui.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 09:36 PM

In an emergency, you can use a mirror....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 07:58 PM

Cool! I have a couple of things to discuss with the Big Guy. Will you please point out one of those phones for me?

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 07:05 PM

I need some fresh air. BIAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 07:01 PM

More thievery!!!! That's a classic old English-Irish joke which you have unscrupulously transplanted into the USA!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 06:51 PM

While y'all are wrassling with the white paint you put on your trees and streets every winter, a little entertaining story:

A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about
churches
around the country. He started by flying to New York City, and
started working from there.

Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and
making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the
vestibule
wall and was intrigued with a sign which read "$10,000 a minute."

Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the
sign.
The Pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in D.C., Atlanta, Greensboro, Chicago, Milwaukee, and all around the United States, he found more phones with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in California. Upon entering a church in

San Diego, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But
THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 35 cents."

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor. "Reverend, I have been
in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 35 cents a call. Why?"

The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in San Diego now.....it's a local call."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 06:41 PM

He's just feeling a little post-mortem--driving all the way to Hell gives him autopsy and makes him queasy.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 05:00 PM

What are you trying to thay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 03:32 PM

Lethe just drop the subject.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 02:41 PM

Humph. Give me a drachma, and I'll show you Stygian darkness for all time... it's right across the river, there. We can play pick-up-Styx to see who goes first...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 02:00 PM

39093! Palindrome!!! And a good one at that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 01:59 PM

I'm sorry. That was unfair. More of a Stygian dusk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 01:58 PM

Would that we all could achieve your Stygian darkness, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 01:09 PM

Would that we could all attain your Olympian heights, Amos! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 11:38 AM

Hey, it's only 911 posts until 40K! On your toes, MOABites, lest a usurper attempt to bag the big one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 11:34 AM

Your first thought _should_ have been to dish out voluminous and enthusiastic admiration at my witty composition, you sluggardly dullard!!

;>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 09:54 AM

I guessed at Marlowe. Almost everyone else thought it was from "Brigadoon" or "My Fair Lady" and I must admit that my first thought was that you'd ripped off the Elder Edda again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 09:24 AM

There's a subtle distinction to be made, Rapparre. I model, you parody, he rips off, as the declension goeth.

My borrowings are much too obvious--and from too well known a source--to be thought of as ripoff. Besides, my version is very funny. "Lunched a thousand chips". HAhahaha.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 11 - 08:49 PM

Like what, Shame? Scrounging food from the dumpster behind Tim's? Pretending that women find you irresistible? Believing that you're rough, tough, and plenty enough? Stealing Don's beer and truck? Smashing up libraries? Thinking of Officer Dana and the happy life she'll have when she marries that dude from Toronto? Panhandling on the grimy streets of Blind River?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 05 Jan 11 - 05:30 PM

I ciould flippin' right stuff that would, like, leeve that flippin' pome of Amos in the dust, man. I could! The reason I don't flippin' do it is cos I am bizzy doin' stuff that acshally matters, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 11 - 02:57 PM

No, he was busy ripping off Doc Faust. (See Chris Marlowe's play for more stuff he'll rip off.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 11 - 02:28 PM

Heroic stuff, Amos! Were you inspired by reading Homer?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 11 - 01:58 PM

Is this the gut that lunched a thousand chips
And Medicared the careless split of ileum?
Sweet Doctor, make me immortal with a stitch.
He liposucts my girth; see where it flies!
Come, Doctor, come, give me my appetite once more.
Here I will dwell, for heaven be in these chips,
And all is sauce for this fair gut of mine!.
I will eat Paris, and for love of thee,
Instead of Troy, shall Pocatello burn
And I will pray to ancient Galen wise,
And wear thy stitches on my bruised chest;
Yea, I will swell to crush the very heel,
And to my belov'd surgeon come again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 11 - 12:59 PM

Dum-de-dum-dum! Dum-de-dum-dum...DUM!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 11 - 10:12 AM

Nay, good Amos, but I did once topple the topless towers Ileum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 11 - 11:41 PM

HE'S just trying to get a lower ribbing. He has been forced into close proximity with his epigastrium and it makes him lonesome.

I understand.

Tickle him, Elmo.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 04 Jan 11 - 11:04 PM

Aw, you're so disarming!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 11 - 03:13 PM

Be nice if the link worked, too. But I'll have you know that my hypochondrium is running nicely.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 11 - 03:11 PM

AnyoneÉ

Rap... good on ye fer being able to help out a vet. I bow, good sir.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 11 - 02:54 PM

Just goes to show that Rapp's bark is worse than his epithelium.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 11 - 10:21 AM

Pictures of old logs, huh? Anyone could do that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jan 11 - 10:07 AM

Good job, Mike!

Rapparee, dig out the Wayback machine in MOM's garage and see if you can compress the explosion at the hovel that way. Or did you already use it, to rescue the booze?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 11 - 09:28 AM

Eiseley, I already am.

Amos, these are electrostatic (!) copies of the original paper copies in the National Archives. Even states that on 23 February 1962 the ship went to general quarters and fired 8 plaster-filled practice hedgehogs before entering the Saigon River.

I'm humbly glad to use my humble skills to compassionately help someone else.


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