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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 08 Sep 10 - 09:23 PM
Amos 08 Sep 10 - 04:23 PM
Eiseley 08 Sep 10 - 04:03 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 10 - 04:00 PM
Eiseley 08 Sep 10 - 03:49 PM
Acme 08 Sep 10 - 03:13 PM
Amos 08 Sep 10 - 12:31 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 10 - 11:21 AM
Amos 08 Sep 10 - 10:45 AM
Rapparee 08 Sep 10 - 12:28 AM
Little Hawk 07 Sep 10 - 11:19 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 10 - 09:45 PM
Amos 07 Sep 10 - 07:18 PM
gnu 07 Sep 10 - 06:52 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 10 - 06:44 PM
Little Hawk 07 Sep 10 - 04:42 PM
Amos 07 Sep 10 - 04:17 PM
gnu 07 Sep 10 - 04:10 PM
Amos 07 Sep 10 - 04:05 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 10 - 03:57 PM
Amos 07 Sep 10 - 03:52 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 10 - 02:51 PM
Amos 07 Sep 10 - 02:16 PM
Acme 07 Sep 10 - 01:31 PM
Little Hawk 07 Sep 10 - 12:46 PM
Amos 07 Sep 10 - 12:38 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 10 - 12:32 PM
Amos 07 Sep 10 - 12:31 PM
Amos 07 Sep 10 - 12:28 PM
Little Hawk 07 Sep 10 - 12:28 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 10 - 12:22 PM
Amos 07 Sep 10 - 10:33 AM
Acme 07 Sep 10 - 01:12 AM
Amos 07 Sep 10 - 12:33 AM
Rapparee 06 Sep 10 - 07:41 PM
Acme 06 Sep 10 - 03:40 PM
Amos 06 Sep 10 - 02:51 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 10 - 11:57 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Sep 10 - 10:44 AM
Rapparee 06 Sep 10 - 10:29 AM
Amos 06 Sep 10 - 02:05 AM
Rapparee 05 Sep 10 - 10:44 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 10 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 10 - 10:03 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 10 - 08:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 10 - 08:26 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 10 - 08:21 PM
Amos 05 Sep 10 - 08:08 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 10 - 05:43 PM
Amos 05 Sep 10 - 04:02 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 10 - 09:23 PM

Wonderful!

Okay, Amos.

I arrive at BWI on Thursday, September 30, at 7:55 p.m.
I will spend that night in a nearby motel, which is TBD.
I depart BWI on Monday, October 4, at 1:45 p.m., which means I have to be there by 12:45.

See? I really did it. And I decided against the Sousaphone, but I will be bringing the double bass AND my Steinway Concert Grand. I'm still undecided on the timpani: do I bring the set, or just the big one?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 10 - 04:23 PM

How awesome that Eiseley
Can park so precisely
Her bookmobile (large
As a Snake River barge)
And not squash the legion
Of kids in the region!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 08 Sep 10 - 04:03 PM

If any of you would like to see it, the new bookmobile (sans shelves, yet) is parked out in the south parking lot. I, yes, I, drove it all around town yesterday and backed it into its present spot where it awaits new shelves. I didn't squish too many people in the process.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 10 - 04:00 PM

Except for me, and I totally disagree with whatever choice is made.

Amos, I'm in a rush right now and I'll let you know tonight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 08 Sep 10 - 03:49 PM

Dear MOM,
As you know, I'm on the selection committee for Idaho's Book of the Year award. I just thought you'd like to know that as I was just about to compose a poem about the 18th letter of the alphabet for my siblings, an email from the committee came through and my brain took a detour into Libraryish poetical musings. So, if you know these obscure books, which of course YOU do, you'll know who won first prize and honorable mention. I'll have to write the other poem another time.

Oh shall we embrace the inevitable
and arrive at consensus on fire?

Our thoughtfully worded analyses fly
through the Idaho cyberspace wires.

Debating profundity, judging the prose
to consider works, fiction and non.

We've read Ferrell Swan's journey with the coyotes,
And heard Isaac Moses yarn on.

The others have merit, no doubt about that
But we must agree to decide

Which Idaho book gets the treasured award
By our choice all the state must abide!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 10 - 03:13 PM

Wading in from soggy Texas. Here I worried my sister's vacation to Ocracoke Island in North Carolina was going to be spoiled by a hurricane. They waited a day or two then were able to head out. I told her she should come to Texas instead, but just as well she didn't. We got all of the rain.

There's a birds nest dangling on a branch outside my office window. Someone check and see if MOM still has that bird's nest collection out in the laundry room? I'll trim this one out of the tree if she want's it (it's kind of woven around several branches and has an entry hole on the bottom side of it. Looks like something the National Geographic would write about in a scrubby tree on the African veldt).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 10 - 12:31 PM

Please do me the courtesy, sirrah. of letting me know when and where you are arriving so I can predict (in the event you need or want a ride).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 10 - 11:21 AM

It is my mission in life. Or, rather, it is part of my mission in life.

Where ever I go
I like to sow
A little mo'
Fear,
Uncertainty,
And doubt.

And if I go
Where the shadows go
All will know
An awful lot mo'
Fear,
Uncertainty,
And doubt.


I have my plane tickets for Getaway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 10 - 10:45 AM

Ach, Rapaire, you have taken obscure abstraction and multi-shaded ambiguity approaching meaninglessness to a whole new level.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 10 - 12:28 AM

Hop.
Hop.
We like to hop
On top of pop.

Shame us
Shamus.
Pop was Amos
Amos shame us.

Shamus
Shame us.
Chongo Chimp
Knew shamus Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 11:19 PM

You are definitely the spiritual heir to the genius of Dr Seuss, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 09:45 PM

And the first letter of many, many words: asinine, arsenic, asymmetrical, appropriate, ace, antipodes, ant, aunt, any, auld, arse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 07:18 PM

Two larmed and a lert went out with a dept
To waander the Seussian plains!
To look at the hill where the Daptive slept,
And the caves of Ssociate rraigns.
Says the dept to the lert, I'll tell ya lads,
With bandon, I'll proudly say,
This life which we lead 'most perfect would be,
If only we had an A.


A.

First Vowel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 06:52 PM

I am a lert. Everyone should be a lert. But not a larmed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 06:44 PM

Is a dept in debt like a lert in a yurt? Or am I just Seussifying?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 04:42 PM

A dept is another nice thing to have...or be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 04:17 PM

Perhaps you should get a Lert. They have a well-earned reputation for providing initiative to inertia. To counter your inErt, lackadaisical intertia, you should even considering training to be a Lert yourself. That would make ALL the difference.

Remember!! Once a LErt, always a Lert!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 04:10 PM

My inertia is inert.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 04:05 PM

Well, you are a natural Fred Astaire, I must say. However, it is an implicit part of the definition of work, as used in the original offer, that the do-er of the work provides any necessary resistance to reaction; thus, the ditch-digger is not allowed to let himself float freely above the ditch and be wafted hither and yon by the counter-reaction to his digging effort, but must hold firmly to his original position, resulting in the valuable moving of dirt and such and the resultant valuable prodiction of a well-made ditch.

I doubt I could sell the board on your covering only the reactions; they would be a health hazard without the offsetting benefits of well-earned morale.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 03:57 PM

"The work done by a force acting on an object depends on the inertial frame of reference, because the distance covered while applying the force does. Due to Newton's law of reciprocal actions there is a reaction force; it does work depending on the inertial frame of reference in an opposite way. The total work done is independent of the inertial frame of reference."

I am simply going to do the reciprocal actions to your energy acting upon an inertial frame of reference. As such, I actually should be paid the same amount as you are, but I'm giving you a bargain 'cause you're one of Mom's kids.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 03:52 PM

Rapaire:

Not to beat a dead horse, or anything, but perhaps there is a fundamental misalignment in your understanding of the word "work" in the above discussion. In our culture--if not in Idaho--work is generally considered to be directed effort of mind and/or body which results in a valuable service or product to someone other than self.

If the expression "someone other than self" puzzles you, we may need to undercut the instructional level here. Do let me know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 02:51 PM

Amos, I'll be doing the third where you take coffee breaks, eat lunch, chow down on doughnuts, go to the bathroom, surf the Web, and stare off into space. Man, I'm taking the HARDEST parts!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 02:16 PM

Rapaire:

The original offer was, and I quote:

...would even be willing to give you a third of my salary to do the work of it, Rapaire.



But I am withdrawing the offer, since it is clear that plainly written statements are not your forte.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 01:31 PM

Barbecue for lunch. No dolls invited.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 12:46 PM

Instructions???? Eeeeenstructions??????????? We don't need no goddam eeenstructions!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 12:38 PM

Little Hawk:

Sorry about your Hillary doll. Didn't the instructions include taking off your spurs first?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 12:32 PM

...the pipe from the toilet is leaking, slowly, slowly.... Yeah, I know the drill all too well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 12:31 PM

I will have to leave it to the resident expert on fictional entities to discourse on the pros and cons of Barbie Dolls. Obviously, Rapaire is not up to speed on the topic and has never heard of the infamaous Queue-Pee doll.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 12:28 PM

Gawd, Rapaire, you have the tinnest ear in town, I swear.


And by the way I curse Ikea!! I finally went and bought this composite four drawer thing to put the printers on. It came in flat boxes with little bags of hardware and wordless cartoon assembly instructions which did not match the parts completely. You know the drill.

Six hours later we were very proud of the result. I am sure buying from Ikea saved me $150. So they effectively hired me as a journeyman for $15-20 / hour. Bring your own tools, no benefits.
But the house is finally coming together, the paintings are back up, the new carpet looks swell, the paint is lovely, life is good.

A

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 12:28 PM

An unfortunate thing happened last week, Rapaire. Hillary experienced a Level 5 blowout and is hors de combat. I am seeking a repair person. Sarah is holding up just fine, however, being made of very tough stuff. Amos is going to have to wait for a bit.

Those Barbie dolls are no use at all. They're too small, too hard, and they lack certain vital parts. A complete waste of time. I really can't understand what all the fuss is about, but I guess Mattel is just engaging in false advertising, as usual.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 12:22 PM

Oh, dear.

Amos, this will be hard for you, so please sit down in a nice, comfy chair. Probably best to have a big box of Kleenex handy, too. And believe me, I really really had to be the one to tell you this, but I'm going to.

Barbie is a doll. A toy. She's made out of plastic. She does NOT have a yellow tail and there is no queue for her. Amos, there IS no "Barbie Queue Yellow Tail." And she's way, way, too short for you anyway. And she's run around for years with this guy named "Ken" who is probably gay and/or a gigolo.

She's not REAL, Amos. Look, man, if you're broke up, remember that there are other dolls out there. Little Hawk would send you his Hillary or Sarah doll if you'd just ask him nicely if he'd share.

Now take a deep breath, blow your nose, wipe away your tears -- no, no, don't use the same Kleenex! -- and remember that not every hussy is for you. And ask LH for the loan of Hillary or Sarah, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 10:33 AM

Meanwhile you could have some Barbie Queue Yellowtail....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 01:12 AM

If you don't speak up soon for these ribs then they're packed in foil and going in the freezer.

MOM thinks it's tacky to talk about money so much. Unbecoming, or something like that, she said. Now if any of you wins the Lotto, that's a different story.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 10 - 12:33 AM

Sorry, man, no deal. You already get far more of my valuable creative energies than I should be giving you, but you are so darn cute and all I can't help it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 07:41 PM

Tsk, tsk, Amos. Do you REALLY think I need such a thing? My wife is, after all, an attorney who specialized in intellectual property law -- patents, trademarks, copyrights, that sort of thing. She is even admitted to the bars in various States, most recently the Klondike Saloon in Dillon, Montana, but also allowed to do the law thing in Indiana and Ohio. And I said nothing about working, you'll note. I said I would arrange to siphon off one-third of your gross income as a gift.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 03:40 PM

I'm going to crank up the grill (how do you spell Barbie barby bar-be?) this afternoon. How many country-style pork ribs are each of you going to eat?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 02:51 PM

That's all well and good, Rapaire, but you have to report to the office for orientation. You have a lot to learn about patent law. I'll tell them you're coming and as soon as your butt is in the chair we can give them the transfer information so you get your one-third.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 11:57 AM

Dibs! Dibs!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 10:44 AM

If Rapaire can have a third of your salary to do the work part of your job, can I have a third to do the drink coffee and surf the Web on company time part?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 10:29 AM

Good. PM me the information for your payroll office and I'll make arrangements to have one-third of your salary siphoned off every payday. That's one-third of the pre-tax amount and since I'll be taking it as a gift you'll be able to contribute the taxes to good ol' Uncle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 02:05 AM

I have a fine job I could offer you for your amusement, and would even be willing to give you a third of my salary to do the work of it, Rapaire. Can't beat that!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 10:44 PM

The brunette and I have to drive back home tomorrow so we can do laundry before heading out for another 10 days or so.

Oh, this retired life is so...so...busy. Working 24 hours a day at doing nothing much and not getting a cent of overtime! Sometimes I sigh deeply and yearn for the good old days when I wrassled tombstones for a living...but not bloody often.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 10:08 PM

Listening to you is so much like listening to Chongo that I can hardly tell you guys apart sometimes... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 10:03 PM

Gee, I just spent an hour in a hot tub with a beautiful brunette after a dinner at a local brewpub.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 08:28 PM

He has left San Diego and is now living in Coherent, CA. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 08:26 PM

Sounds like the red wine has too much Amos drunk already. His usually impeccable grammer, speeling and senence consruuction seem to have become quite peccable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 08:21 PM

Okay, what is an iPad? Is it some kind of little handheld wireless computer that you operate with your fingers on the screen? And if so....why?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 08:08 PM

Hey, Mom!

I an a beautiful sunny patio in Valley. center, a wide Spanish, listening to beautiful Portuguese fado music while posting to you on my wife's spanking new iPad, which is zippy and sexy and beautiful, just like her! I got it for her birthday and she ws quite thrilled, needless to say.

I am sipping a deep red wine and watching the sun go down, shirring moments with good friends. the iPad is an awesome device.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 05:43 PM

Like purpural fever?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 04:02 PM

Oh ptarmigan are precious, as I'm sure you'll all agree
And ptomaine is putrescence, not fit for the likes of me
But the man who stands among them all
As just the greatest can,
Is a man of pure and passionate pulse
The true perfervid man!

Perfervid! Perfervid!
A sweet ideal
From which I feel
We never should have swerv?d!
Though some are gay, and some hold sway,
Some are well-verbed and verv?d,
But give me the man with a passion pure,
ANd hurray for the man perfervid!!


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