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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 01 May 10 - 09:48 PM
Eiseley 01 May 10 - 08:12 PM
Amos 01 May 10 - 07:05 PM
Rapparee 01 May 10 - 05:36 PM
Acme 01 May 10 - 04:37 PM
Amos 01 May 10 - 03:28 PM
Rapparee 01 May 10 - 03:12 PM
Amos 01 May 10 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 01 May 10 - 10:30 AM
Amos 01 May 10 - 09:05 AM
Amos 01 May 10 - 08:59 AM
Amos 01 May 10 - 12:31 AM
Eiseley 01 May 10 - 12:11 AM
Acme 30 Apr 10 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 10 - 10:36 PM
Amos 30 Apr 10 - 10:01 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 10 - 09:36 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 10 - 09:13 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 10 - 09:06 PM
Amos 30 Apr 10 - 08:21 PM
Acme 30 Apr 10 - 07:52 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 10 - 05:10 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 10 - 05:07 PM
Little Hawk 30 Apr 10 - 04:50 PM
MMario 30 Apr 10 - 04:26 PM
Amos 30 Apr 10 - 04:08 PM
Little Hawk 30 Apr 10 - 03:57 PM
Amos 30 Apr 10 - 03:27 PM
Acme 30 Apr 10 - 03:09 PM
Amos 30 Apr 10 - 02:09 PM
Little Hawk 30 Apr 10 - 01:32 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 10 - 12:36 PM
MMario 30 Apr 10 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 30 Apr 10 - 12:51 AM
Rapparee 30 Apr 10 - 12:48 AM
Eiseley 30 Apr 10 - 12:44 AM
Acme 30 Apr 10 - 12:06 AM
Amos 29 Apr 10 - 11:32 PM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 10 - 11:30 PM
Amos 29 Apr 10 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 10 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 10 - 09:47 PM
Amos 29 Apr 10 - 09:20 PM
Amos 29 Apr 10 - 08:43 PM
Acme 29 Apr 10 - 07:27 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 10 - 06:55 PM
Amos 29 Apr 10 - 05:58 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 10 - 03:20 PM
Amos 29 Apr 10 - 02:35 PM
MMario 29 Apr 10 - 11:03 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 10 - 09:48 PM

I have a bottle of the Real Stuff in the fridge, should you care to sample it....

Well, some of us men cleaned up after Thursday's hangin'. That was the women that did the hangin', weren't no men involved in it. We just get to clean up afterward. Fortunately it wasn't too messy this time. Not at all like when they did Blackjack Ketchum down in New Mexico a while back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 01 May 10 - 08:12 PM

Rapaire forgot to mention that he only gave me the empty package. It had a pretty picture on the front he wanted me to frame for him.

The problem with Rapaire retiring is that now when I hear or read something especially funny I have to run all the way across town to share the joke---instead of just running upstairs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 10 - 07:05 PM

I don't thik feeding her Mormon brew was what I had in mind...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 10 - 05:36 PM

I don't do that. I'm thinking about setting up a speaker system and, as they start to drive, going "Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck!" or giving a loud burp or other rude noise. Small hidden speakers, of course, on my property.

Eiseley just left, taking a six-pack of Polygamy Porter ("Bring Some Home To The Wives") with her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 May 10 - 04:37 PM

We need to find something for Rapaire to do. Other than throwing rocks at the golfers as they pass by his back fence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 10 - 03:28 PM

Lord, Rapaire, you aren't used to retiremet yet, are you? There's no NEED to puff yourself up like that. You should be puffing up EISELY so she can become the Queen of Bookes for all of Pocatello.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 10 - 03:12 PM

Yeah, but mine's from Case Western Reserve University, where the Michelson-Morley Experiment, "what might be called the most famous failed experiment to date [1887]," was performed. And you can visit the EXACT SPOT where it took place, if you don't mind being run over by a transit train.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 10 - 02:28 PM

Yeah, me too. Zo vat?

I have two viewpoints about your assertion Rapaire, borrowed from your buddy Bill Buck the Shake:

1. "What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable. In action, how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god!"

2. "All that glisters is not gold, often have you heard that told. Many a man his life hath sold, but my outside to behold gilded tombs do worms enfold."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 10 - 10:30 AM

That's because I've got a Master's Degree -- in SCIENCE!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 10 - 09:05 AM

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos - PM
Date: 16 Jun 06 - 10:17 AM

...If EVER there was someone who could overwhelm with pure significance, unlimited cross-references, meaning without end, semantics wholesale, and umoored syntax run amok, our Rapaire is the man to do it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 10 - 08:59 AM

It's quiet before dawn on Saturday morning in the quiet neighborhood of University City. A warm day promised, a cool night finished. No cars yet.

The guest bath is tiled but not grouted, the tiles standing proud and separated from each other on their mortar beds, like disgruntled Republicans.

I am grateful for the weekend. Sometimes think I should go sailing for six months.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 10 - 12:31 AM

OK, Big Guy, tell ya what I'll do.

I'll give you this Palindromic Prime for your very own in exchange for two swords and six handguns. They clearly aren't what you care about at all. I will pay for Clone services to delete my post and insert any post you can get them to insert in its place. You pay for shipping.





A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 01 May 10 - 12:11 AM

Actually, Rapaire, 35353 wasn't just a palindrome, it was a prime. Those should all be mine. But I was singing Brahms tonight with the symphony, so I don't begrudge Amos the Primadrome. Here, Rap, you may plan for and post on the next three primes, as a retirement gift: 35363 35381 35393.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 10:51 PM

What's the next one coming up?

35353

36363, right? Well, that's only 1010 from now. Peanuts for this crowd.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 10:36 PM

35353. All I wanted out of life. Just that one palindrome. And Amos took it.

I would go fling myself from the bridge and into the river except I might sprain a ankle or something....

Well, I shall enjoy knowing that Amos will be forever writhing in the mental torment of his own making, knowing that he took the only thing I really wanted, that I really cared about. The worms of grievous torture will eat their holes though his mind, inflicting upon him thousands of times, nay, millions and quadrillions of times, more anguish than his blatant theft of my beloved palindrome will ever cause me. And when he is old and gray he will pray for relief and it will not come and then, despised by all and lying desolate in the gutter, sobbing he will make his exit, repenting all the while that he took my beloved 35353. Later, from his unmarked pauper's burial site, even then, his moaning and lamentations shall be heard and his place of last repose will instead of a place of rest become a carnival attraction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 10:01 PM

Oh many's the post
You acted scary
From the safety
Of your home
Now it's all
Been proved for nuffin
Cuz I took
Yore palindrom.

There are just
Three things I wish for
They are my lady
My guitar and home,
I have them all
And more beside them
Since I took
Yore palindrome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 09:36 PM

MOM!!!

Amos took my palindrome 35353.

Ground him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 09:13 PM

As an added bonus, the fleas, crabs, mites, and various other fauna that live upon Shame's so-called body will be blown into creeks, rivers and oceans, thereby improving the fishing and giving purpose to Sham's otherwise shameful excuse for an existence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 09:06 PM

Oh, they solved THAT, Amos. The down will be borne aloft on Shame's own hot air (fetid though it might be), enter the upper air currents, and when the fringes of the circum-polar winds come over Pocatello the fluff will be trapped by fine nets held aloft by ultra-high altitude balloons. The dandruff was a problem but when it was realized that it would fall to earth in a "winnowing" process as the down was borne upwards the problem was solved. Of course, there is the danger that folks living in Nova Scotia or New Brunswick or PEI or other points East of Blind River might think they were having a sudden snowfall and freeze to death but that's not the Legion's problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 08:21 PM

Plant your garden with complete presence in the now and total attention on every root and leaf. All will be well.

The Legionairres are busy writing a business plan on a napkin, involving collecting Shane-down by frightening the beJesus out of the boy at regular intervals and vacuuming up the shedding that occurs. They're still figgering on the dandruff filter part though.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 07:52 PM

Whoo hoo! It's the weekend! Anything exciting happening down at the Legion Hall, or shall I work in the garden and clean the garage as planned?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 05:10 PM

It indicates the deep fear and respect that Shane inspires in others when he bears down and gets serious.

Or it might be better said to indicate their deep laughter and disgust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 05:07 PM

The last thing Shame posted was:

Date: 27 Apr 10 - 01:06 PM

Don ain't old yet. But he is BALD! And I will never flippin' let him ferget it neether. I have hair to, like, die for, eh? But Don is bald on top! Bald on top! Bald on top! He whweres a flippin' baseball cap to hide it but everybuddy knows! Ha! Ha! Ha!

- Shane


As I explained before, when Shame was quite young he was hitting a tree stump with a sledge hammer and a..little accident...happened. As a result he HAS no body hair (although I suppose he might have a fluffy down) and sings (if you can call it that) a very high soprano. I understand that before he stopped bathing at age 6 or so he was being actively recruited for the Papal Choir.

I worried about Shame? Il est a rire, mon vieux!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 04:50 PM

You give him enough beer or other intoxicants to render him unconscious (meaning...you give him a lot). You then strip off his outer clothing and shear off the down carefully. It is highly recommended to wear a gas mask while doing so.

The down can be used to repel attacks from rampaging bears, mad dogs, and rogue elephants who are in "musth".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 04:26 PM

Shane bears down? Is it as warm as goose down? What kind of treatment is required? (Shane is not the most hygenic person, I imagine it needs to be scoured)

HOw the heck is it harvested?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 04:08 PM

Nous qui avons erré dans la nuit immobile
Envoyer nos prières, à vous qui
Éloignez-vous de l'ombre à la prudence attentive.
C'est pour vous que nous prenons ces risques.
Nous comprenons qu'il est pour nous
Que vous réjouez de la lumière du soleil et du vent.


Pierre de Coups de Pied Fort
Vers d'une Ame en Ruines
Loqumariaquer, Brittany, 1949


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 03:57 PM

The silence here is deafening! It indicates the deep fear and respect that Shane inspires in others when he bears down and gets serious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 03:27 PM

IT is known throughout the civilized world as pencil lead, event hough it is graphite. You know this, Stilly. You've heard bad whiskey "outs lead in your pencil", surely?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 03:09 PM

Small distinction, but that is graphite, not lead. Close relative, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 02:09 PM

The guy who threatened to fill Rapaire's hide with lead was a tattoo artist who does his prototyping with an Eberhard Faber #2.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 01:32 PM

I note that you have not dared to even acknowledge Shane's challenge.

Scared, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 12:36 PM

Because I gave it to her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 09:56 AM

MOM just texted me and wants to know why Eiseley knows the size of Rap's pencil.

I told her it wasn't a euphamism; that Eiseley was actually talking about the writing impliment.

I think she bought it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 12:51 AM

And my wife was at a hangin' all day, and will be at a hangin' tomorrow and Saturday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 12:48 AM

The ducks were not in order and it was a sudden decision based upon health considerations (mine -- her father found out, there was some talk about "filling [my] hide full of lead" and something about being "jerked to Jesus"). I have been spending A LOT of time dealing with various bureaucracies, federal, state, and local as well as making certain mah shootin' ahrns are in good shape, no strangers are hanging around when I go out, stuff like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 12:44 AM

Today a consortium meeting, tomorrow presenting at a state conference, then a symphony concert performance on Saturday. Life has gotten WAAAAY too busy since Rapaire left. I'm just glad he finally told MOM. I was worried I might spill the beans and then everyone would skid around as if on ball bearings.

If it was up to me he'd still have his nose to the grindstone, using his enormous pencil to subdue the masses.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 12:06 AM

So you saved the news of retiring for a whole month? What were you thinking?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 11:32 PM

Three Five (Three)Three Five!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 11:30 PM

Shane says he will face you in a chug-a-lug contest ANY TIME. And he says that he will "deviastate" you and "leave you layin' on the floor in total flippin' defeat".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 11:23 PM

Congratulations, Manne Once of Bookes. NOW what do we do with you? We'll have to revamp all our paradigms!!

And you never told MOM!!! The sheer unspeakable viper's toothiness of it!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 10:41 PM

And if that scum-hole Shame thinks that retiring means I'm old and decrepit, the other day I shot 50 out of 50 possible points, 10X (that means each round went into the tiniest inner circle of the target), not once but five times in succession. I'm teaching knife and stick fighting, as well as reviewing the local Marine Reserves in hand-to-hand combat. I probably couldn't outrun him though, since he's had so much practice in running away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 09:47 PM

I know that I'm gonna quit.

No, wait, I did quit. I retired March 24 but I didn't tell Mom because she would have made a cake and everything. Eiseley knew because I'm not her boss anymore and she has to go through life without a moral compass or direction, a waif wandering the wilderness of bibliographic wisdom.

I really did. Retire, I mean. Now I'm busier than I was before I retired.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 09:20 PM

Three five three-oh!

Tell da peeple whatchew know!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 08:43 PM

I use nothing else (at home, anyway).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 07:27 PM

Playing with Safari this evening. I read the Jobs discussion of Adobe and decided to give this a whirl. It doesn't block my access to MOM, so so far, so good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 06:55 PM

Since the medium is the massage (as McLuhan REALLY entitled his book), Mom has always been on television. Also radio, heliograph, telegraph, printed media, manuscripts, cuneiform, graffiti, smoke signals, chiseled into stone, painted on walls, in the spoken word....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 05:58 PM

Hey!! Mom's on TELEVISION!! (Ignore the ad)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 03:20 PM

I suggest we use good, solid, native words, words that are here legally and have a better pedigree than English.

Words like wowawah, daabida, and pêhéve'ót.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 02:35 PM

Depends on which use of the word you are looking at. It varies with context, much as any overworked, underpaid word does.

THe ones you REALLY want to watch out for are the words that are in the country illegally, having snuck in from other countries, like "rights", "justice"...things like that. Damn Europeans.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 11:03 AM

Stilly quoted Kinky as saying " I'm an old school, independent Democrat." and also "I'm for efficient government, government that works for the people"

Aren't these two statements mutually exclusive?

As far as I can tell most of my life "democrat" has equaled "more government; more spending, less decisions in the hands of the people"


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