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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 22 Apr 10 - 02:40 PM
Rapparee 22 Apr 10 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 22 Apr 10 - 02:03 PM
Amos 22 Apr 10 - 01:24 PM
Little Hawk 22 Apr 10 - 12:08 PM
Rapparee 22 Apr 10 - 11:56 AM
MMario 22 Apr 10 - 09:46 AM
Acme 21 Apr 10 - 11:19 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 10 - 10:18 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 21 Apr 10 - 09:54 PM
Acme 21 Apr 10 - 08:18 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 10 - 08:17 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 10 - 07:57 PM
Eiseley 21 Apr 10 - 06:28 PM
Eiseley 21 Apr 10 - 05:55 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 10 - 05:44 PM
Amos 21 Apr 10 - 05:06 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 10 - 04:47 PM
Little Hawk 21 Apr 10 - 01:54 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 10 - 01:22 PM
Little Hawk 21 Apr 10 - 12:40 PM
MMario 21 Apr 10 - 12:17 PM
Little Hawk 21 Apr 10 - 12:15 PM
Amos 21 Apr 10 - 11:40 AM
GUEST,Gluon 21 Apr 10 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 21 Apr 10 - 11:21 AM
Acme 21 Apr 10 - 10:43 AM
Rapparee 21 Apr 10 - 09:51 AM
Amos 21 Apr 10 - 02:12 AM
Rapparee 20 Apr 10 - 08:00 PM
Little Hawk 20 Apr 10 - 07:58 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 10 - 07:30 PM
Little Hawk 20 Apr 10 - 04:41 PM
Amos 20 Apr 10 - 04:13 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 10 - 04:06 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 20 Apr 10 - 03:59 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 20 Apr 10 - 03:53 PM
Little Hawk 20 Apr 10 - 03:37 PM
Amos 20 Apr 10 - 03:29 PM
Amos 20 Apr 10 - 02:16 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 10 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 10 - 09:49 AM
Eiseley 20 Apr 10 - 07:39 AM
Amos 20 Apr 10 - 01:22 AM
Rapparee 20 Apr 10 - 12:36 AM
Acme 20 Apr 10 - 12:07 AM
Rapparee 19 Apr 10 - 11:11 PM
Amos 19 Apr 10 - 11:04 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 10 - 10:02 PM
Amos 19 Apr 10 - 08:31 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 10 - 02:40 PM

I mistrust your Greek gifts, you bear. But your recitation by the Fayre Makar of Scotland, duly attributed and even this long hence still fayre, is most welcome. I could believe you had turned a Newe LEafe, had I but one Eye. 'Ods grace, I have been granted Twoe.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 10 - 02:36 PM

Anacreontic 21
by Anacreon

ἡ γῆ μέλαινα πίνει,
πίνει δένδρεα δ' αὖ γῆν.
πίνει θάλασσα ἀναύρους.
ὁ δ' ἥλιος θάλασσαν,
τὸν δ' ἥλιον σελήνη.    (5)
τί μοι μάχεσθ', ἑταῖροι,
καὐτῳ θέλοντι πίνειν;

I never knew Anacreon either, Amos. I introduced myself once, but everything he said was Greek to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 10 - 02:03 PM

To a Lady
by William Dunbar

Sweer rois of vertew and of gentilness,
Delytsum lily of everie lustynes,
Richest in bontie and in bewtie clear,
And everie vertew that is wenit dear,
Except onlie that ye are mercyless

Into your garth this day I did persew;
There saw I flowris that fresche were of hew;
Baith quhyte and reid most lusty were to seyne,
And halesome herbis upon stalkis greene;
Yet leaf nor flowr find could I nane of rew.

I doubt that Merche, with his cauld blastis keyne,
Has slain this gentil herb, that I of mene;
Quhois piteous death dois to my heart sic paine
That I would make to plant his root againe,--
So confortand his levis unto me bene.


There ya go, Amos! I never met this poet and he's quite well known.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 10 - 01:24 PM

Giving attribution to BAD poetry is easy, Rapaire. It takes a real man to post something brilliant written by a great artist, and give attribution, acknowledging that someone other than self can produce great beauty. And especially acknowledging that the artist is NOT someone you have been on a first-name basis with forever.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Apr 10 - 12:08 PM

Whoo! Great hair! Are you another one of those counterculture Moms who named her son after Bob Dylan, Stilly?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 10 - 11:56 AM

I want Amos to notice that I gave full attribution for that poem. And if he isn't careful I'll find another one. It's easy, because I'm just full of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Apr 10 - 09:46 AM

MOM says she's gonna clip the picture and stick it on the 'fridge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 11:19 PM

I remember when he mentioned that. It must have brought it all back to see references in the thread. I hope that part of our BS didn't seem too dismissive of the case.

I learned yesterday from a co-worker that my tall handsome son made quite an impact in his own quiet musical way at the library reception a few weeks back, when he performed at the opening when the room was beginning to fill up. He looks older than 18 and was apparently unaware of an attractive older women who was seriously considering introducing herself before someone told her who he was. And how young. Pretty funny, really, and she was blushing to tell me, but couldn't resist a good story. I think sometimes he's still a kid not quite used to being in this big full-sized body. It's in the local paper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 10:18 PM

Sleepy little gentians, it is time to rise
For the sun is climbing fast up the golden skies,
And the happy brooklets are laughing where they leap
Don't you hear them in your dreams as you lie asleep?

Lift those fair fringed lashes up, shut so very tight,
Hiding from your sweet blue eyes all the rosy light;
What can you be dreaming that you slumber so,
Sleepy little gentians, I should like to know!

                -- Gertrude Alger
                   (In Belford's Annual, 1888-9
                   (Chicago: Belford Clarke & Co., 1888) p. 109)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 09:54 PM

I wanted to hit the guy forty-five times with a blunt axe, leaving only a half-inch of skin and sinew remaining. Then he could have been called "Nearly Headless Nick." But instead, Rapaire talked sense into me and I let the court sentence the dastardly scoundrel to 7 plus years in the pen. The good thing was that the creepo never actually touched Ben---just tried.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 08:18 PM

Rusty barbed wire is liable to take out more of the local real estate than just the stated target. But that was probably the intention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 08:17 PM

Just as a point of interest, Eiseley shoots a silenced .45 ACP CZ75 she picked up when she was working for the CIA in the former East Germany. She, of course, speaks fluent German.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 07:57 PM

You forget that it wasn't a blunt letter opener, it was a piece of rusty barbed wire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 06:28 PM

I forgot to add that when someone did TRY to do something to one of my children, Rapaire talked me out of castrating the guy with a blunt letter opener.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 05:55 PM

Were it any cool toy besides that A.D. that Little Hawk so clearly does not value, I may have had to assume the role of a mother Grizzly Bear. (And yes, Rapaire did teach me to shoot, and pretty darn well, too!) HOWEVER, when I asked Tom if I could give Little Hawk the beloved hippie dog, he said, and I quote: "Sure, Mom, I'm sure he'll like it better than I do." And, it seems, I was right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 05:44 PM

Yeah? Mistreat one of her kids and see what happens. Remember too that I taught her to shoot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 05:06 PM

Sir,

Your delicacy and diplomacy are exceeded only by your genteel respect for authorship in achieving unprecedented nadirs. Our Eisely does not "sic" on command, I am sure, nor is she of the canine disposition (and certainly not the carnivorous quadrupedal form) usually associated with such a command. Your leadership sensitivity requires remediation forthwith. I am offering a specialized seminar, "Leadership Sensitivity Among the Highly Literate" next weekend for only $2,500 US and I am sure if you attend the seminar she will forgive you freely your prior clumsy--not to say boorish--mislocutions.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 04:47 PM

Sic 'em, Eiseley!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 01:54 PM

Yeah, yeah.... (rolling my eyes)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 01:22 PM

Uncaring Canuck, what does it matter to you if a little boy goes to bed crying every night, pleading with his mother for assurance that his beloved dachshund has a good, loving home? Fie and for shame!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 12:40 PM

By the way, we're not having a muddy spring here in Ontario. The weather has been absolutely beautiful. A lot less rain than usual (probably too little, in fact), and lots of sunny days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 12:17 PM

Gluon seems to be blue shifting.....is he/she losing energy or just traveling away from us?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 12:15 PM

Hey, Rapaire? You listening? GET STUFFED!!!

;-)

Stilly, I had a look at all those Dachshund accessories you posted the link to. Amazing stuff. I hardly think anyone could resist the "tail wagging dachshund clock". There are few sights more genial and welcoming than a friendly Dachshund, and the rear view of same with a clock face on it is just unforgettable!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 11:40 AM

I love Gluon--he's so rainbowy.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gluon
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 11:27 AM

Quark!


Quark!


Quark! 


Quark!


Quark!


Quark!


Quark!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 11:21 AM

I happen to know that the gift to LH was a prized, nay, beloved possession of Eiseley's son. He parted with it with tears in his eyes but love in heart little heart because he thought that it would bring joy, a beam of sunshine, to someone trapped in the mud of Spring in Ontario. To denigrate such a selfless, kind, and loving gift is reprehensible to say the least. Ah, how sharper than a serpent's tooth is an ungrateful giftee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 10:43 AM

LH, they clearly mean well:

These dressed up little dachshunds will put a song in your heart. Made of resin, they all have their own personality and some, their own ID tags with a fun pun. They're sure to "stretch" a smile on your face for a "long" time!


There, don't you just feel like smiling?

What, MOM? No, I'm not going to suggest they send one of those little wiener dogs to you. I know you already have a dachshund boot scraper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 09:51 AM

Yes, I understand that several monks ordered to to the copying were so shocked by it that they had to be hospitalized for the rest of their lives.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 02:12 AM

The Doxie's Tail was the buried chapter from Chaucer's collection. It was so bald and ribald he couldn't get the publisher to include it in the book.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 08:00 PM

Yeah, but what about her tail?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 07:58 PM

The really weird part is that it looks very much like this young woman I knew in the early 70s. Her name was Claudia, and she was a bit of a pain. Her sense of fashion wasn't quite that awful, but physically she was of much the same skinny body type and her hair looked a lot like the AT's too. Her arms and legs, needless to say, were longer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 07:30 PM

Poor homeless little wiener dog, unloved and unwanted...here we thought it was going to a good home, a caring home, what they call a "Forever Home."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 04:41 PM

Well, I think Spaw would really go for it. He's from Ohio, you know, and they love tasteless crap there. Do you know how many of these things get sold every year in Ohio?

You don't, do you? Well, I'll tell you how many....a shitload, that's how many! Al Harrington will probably soon corner the market on the Atrocious Dachshund figurines too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 04:13 PM

I dunno, LH--looks to me like something that should be right up your alley....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 04:06 PM

What did Spaw ever do to you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 03:59 PM

Hot dog! Here's an image of what we're talking about: Atrocious Dachshund!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 03:53 PM

Dear Little Hawk,
I distinctly remember telling you it was atrocious. Yep.
Yours truly,
Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 03:37 PM

Rapair. Eisley. I received the package. I hardly know what to say...other than....



EEEYAAUGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GLUARUGH!!!!! (sound of retching)

That has gotta be the most tasteless piece of kitsch I have EVER seen! Horrifying. You should've sent it to Spaw. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 03:29 PM

Maybe he was looking for the man who had shot his paw?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 02:16 PM

I don't believe that really happened.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 12:48 PM

A bear walks into a bar in Billings , Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings."

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, but we especially don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs.'

The bear looks at him quizzically and says, "I'm not on drugs."

(Wait for it...)










The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 09:49 AM

I have reduced the number of firearms in my possession by three since the first of the year, and may well dispose of another by Autumn. I mean, I really didn't need the quad-fifties, the M-79, or the 88. Sure, they were lots of fun and great for hunting rabbits and squirrels, but really, I didn't need them. So I gave them to the Legion, who can make good use of them if they can figure out how to work them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 07:39 AM

Gunnish. Now that's a GREAT word to apply to Rapaire!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 01:22 AM

Well, there are such conditions; oddly enough entropy decreases whenever thought is applied to it. Or at least never without that ingredient.

The notion that the exception proves the rule is folk wisdom, Rapaire. This is a site dedicated to folk lovers and therefore it is the Senior Interpretation.

The notion that the exception explodes the rule is more sciency or gunnish.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 12:36 AM

Au contraire, mon vieux. The exception disproves the rule. For example, the rule that "Entropy always increases" would be rendered meaningless if we found that there were conditions under which entropy actually and on its own decreased.

And here in MOAB such a situation may well exist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Apr 10 - 12:07 AM

Rap, MOM LOVES that script and wants you to embroider that on a pillow for her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 11:11 PM

eared.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 11:04 PM

You are self-evident, but not a Truth.

From one perspective truth is the only place in which self-awareness can be found.

But there's always an exception which proves the rule.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 10:02 PM

I am both self-evident AND self-aware and I haven't yet disapp


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 08:31 PM

Rapaire:

I said that very same thing on the fifteenth. Tax Day.

Are you copying me?


But I confess you have the right of it; true BS is self-evident, as self-proving as any axiomatic truism in all of Euclid's large collection of Ancient Truisms.

Self-evidentiary attributes are rare and wonderful things and must be treasured. Not everything in the world is even WILLING to show itself, let alone prove itself by its very existence.

Let's hear it for self-evidentness. Gimme an S! Gimme an E! Gimme an L! Gimme an F!!! What does it SPELL?? S.S.S...ummm..hmmmmmm.......

WHich raises the paradoxical question of whether that which is self-evident can at the same moment be self-aware. Or would that cause it to disappear?


A


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