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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 06 May 16 - 10:23 PM
gnu 06 May 16 - 03:07 PM
Acme 06 May 16 - 08:59 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 May 16 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 05 May 16 - 09:56 PM
Amos 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM
Amos 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 May 16 - 04:10 PM
keberoxu 05 May 16 - 02:49 PM
Amos 05 May 16 - 02:37 PM
Rapparee 05 May 16 - 08:50 AM
Amos 05 May 16 - 01:18 AM
Little Hawk 04 May 16 - 09:31 PM
keberoxu 04 May 16 - 05:00 PM
Donuel 04 May 16 - 04:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 May 16 - 02:38 PM
Amos 04 May 16 - 02:05 PM
Rapparee 04 May 16 - 11:47 AM
gnu 04 May 16 - 08:39 AM
Acme 03 May 16 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 03 May 16 - 09:03 PM
Rapparee 03 May 16 - 07:53 AM
Amos 03 May 16 - 12:14 AM
Rapparee 02 May 16 - 10:24 PM
Little Hawk 02 May 16 - 08:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 May 16 - 06:45 PM
keberoxu 02 May 16 - 05:44 PM
Rapparee 02 May 16 - 09:04 AM
Amos 01 May 16 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 01 May 16 - 08:48 PM
Amos 01 May 16 - 05:51 PM
gnu 01 May 16 - 05:43 PM
Amos 01 May 16 - 01:06 PM
Acme 01 May 16 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 16 - 10:12 PM
Amos 30 Apr 16 - 08:09 PM
Little Hawk 30 Apr 16 - 05:14 PM
keberoxu 30 Apr 16 - 02:24 PM
keberoxu 30 Apr 16 - 01:29 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 16 - 08:56 AM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 16 - 08:56 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 16 - 08:50 PM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 16 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 16 - 08:44 AM
gnu 28 Apr 16 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 16 - 09:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Apr 16 - 06:19 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 16 - 10:08 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Apr 16 - 09:59 AM
Rapparee 27 Apr 16 - 09:20 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 16 - 10:23 PM

There are "technicolor messages" left all over my back yard!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 May 16 - 03:07 PM

So, like, Gluon could be Glunon too? Oh wow, man. Far out... or in... or both?

Bugs! Males. Big claws... 1.5 pounds each at $7 a pound. I got four. Happy Mother's Day. URP!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 16 - 08:59 AM

Has anyone seen Gluon lately? Did she leave any technicolor messages you want to pass along?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 16 - 11:00 PM

Nietzsche's statement, "Ich bein Gott, und ich bein Gott nicht," is almost always misinterpreted. He wasn't talking about "Gott", the German word for "God". He was talking about Gott brand ice chests and coolers (now made by Rubbermaid). He was simply confused as to whether he was a 48 quart Gott, or a similarly sized Igloo, Coleman, or Thermos. If he were still around today, he'd be even more confused since he'd also have to contend with the possibility of being a Yeti.

Exactly where Nietzsche's conviction that he might be an ice chest came from is a bit of a mystery. But if one must be an inanimate object it's good to be something useful, like a cooler, instead of something utterly useless, like a Chia Pet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 16 - 09:56 PM

Amos Amos you're you're repeating repeating yourself yourself.

Existence carries within its definition nonexistence. President Trump carries within it non-President Trump. All things, all ideas, carry within them their opposite and all possible variations of themselves. Thus I am all things and no things, just as everyone is. "Ich bein Gott, und ich bein Gott nicht," as Freddy Nietzsche used to tell Bert Einstein after a few rounds; this caused a lot of laughter as Freddy had declared God dead. We used to agree with Freddy and then say, "Ja, gut nacht." German puns are somewhat convoluted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM

Geeze, it's nice to see BWL back in these sacred basement halls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM

Geeze, it's nice to see BWL back in these sacred basement halls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 16 - 04:10 PM

A truly transcendent entity would necessarily encompass all modes of being. He/she/it would have perfect teeth, need extensive dental work, and no longer need teeth at all, all at the same time. I know it's hard to wrap your head around, but it's far more comprehensible than the possibility of a Donald Trump presidency.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 May 16 - 02:49 PM

You have a hard time closing your mouth?! Me, I would complain....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 02:37 PM

IS there anything illogical about Rapparree claiming extreme dental work in one paragraph, and claiming to have transcended into pure spiritual form in another paragraph in the same post? If both paragraphs are pure BS, is contradiction even possible? Does Macy's contradict Gimbel's?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 16 - 08:50 AM

Yes, the damage done by sucking sugarcane is fixed. The dentist said that the bridge was covered by warranty, so I only had to pay for the initial exam. He also reinforced the new bridge with 1.5 inch rebar, which makes it hard to close my mouth when I eat or something. It wasn't a bad deal, but as usual my gag reflex cut in as the truck was pouring the concrete. Thanks for asking, K.

For you others -- I long ago cast off that mortal coil. Thus it is that when you want to play guitar or banjo and you think you hear extra notes it's because I'm pluckin' with ya. It is I who moves your car keys, I who empties the ink from from your pen and breaks off the point of your pencil. I bring the snow and cold in May and blight the flowers with frost in August. When you need two bags of flour and the store has only one, I took the other. Any inconvenience or annoyance, no matter how petty, c'est moi. BUT DON'T BLAME ME FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 01:18 AM

R's mouth is not on the list of body parts waiting to be reallocated. The senior Board of Medical Approvals left it off for sanitary reasons, and also because of the basic dynamics of supply (+1) and demand (- b67,345.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 May 16 - 09:31 PM

The answer is to become an imaginary character, enshrined in popular fiction, and then one lives forever!

Examples: Robin Hood, Batman, Sherlock Holmes, Chongo Chimp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 May 16 - 05:00 PM

Haven't heard about your mouth though, Rapparee....that nasty encounter with sugarcane...did you get that work done, and that satisfactory?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 May 16 - 04:54 PM

Rap, If what Amos said is true, are you going to donate your body for transplants or Soylent Green?
I'm game for either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 May 16 - 02:38 PM

Yeah, what Amos said. Dead retired librarians don't need glasses anymore. In fact, there's an entire panoply of things for which dead retired librarians have no use. Chief among them are guitars and fishing boats. If you have any of either, please send them to me before your expiration date so we won't have to deal with probate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 16 - 02:05 PM

I hate to tell you this but that is simply a euphemism for looming mortality. "Not needing glasses anymore" is a natural concomitant of letting go of the sack of meat one has been using as a credit card in the world, and standing revealed and naked in all one's spiritual simplicity, untrammeled by matter or energy.

In any case, best of luck!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 16 - 11:47 AM

The doc said this morning that I might not need glasses any more....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 May 16 - 08:39 AM

Ditto Acme.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 16 - 10:31 PM

They're going to have to hire a knife sharpener to visit Pocotello to sharpen all of the scalpels after all of the surgeries you've had.

I hope this one heals quickly and you're on your feet and kicking butt down at the Legion hovel in no time at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 16 - 09:03 PM

Well, THAT surgery is over and the patient (me) is doing okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 16 - 07:53 AM

Wondrous the stone of these ancient walls, shattered by fate.
The districts of the city have crumbled.
The work of giants of old lies decayed.
Roofs are long tumbled down,
The lofty towers are in ruins.
Frost covers the mortar,
Tiles weathered and fallen, undermined by age.

The original builders are long in the earth's cruel grip,
a hundred generations since have passed.
These broad walls, now reddened and lichen-aged, brown and gray:
once they withstood invading kingdoms.
Now, beneath countless seasons, they have fallen.
The rampart assembled by many, crumbles still,
Though hewn together with skill of sharpening and joining,
Strengthened ingeniously with chain and cabled rib-walls.

In the city, urbane buildings, bathhouses, lofty rooftops,
a glamorous multitude gathered.
Many a mead hall filled with human revelry --
until Fate inexorably changed everything.

All the inhabitants succumbed to pestilence.
Swept away are the great warriors.
Their towers and walls are deserted,
the desolate city crumbles away.
Who could repair any of it,
for they are long dead.

So the courtyards and gates have collapsed,
and the pavilion roofs of vaulted beams crumbled.
Here where once rich men in resplendent clothes, proud, wine-flushed,
gleaming in war trappings, gazed upon their gold and silver treasure,
their gems and precious stones,
upon their wealth, and property:
the bright city of a broad kingdom.

Stone courtyards ran streams of ample water, heating the great bathes,
conveniently flowing into the great stone vats ...

So is it not fitting ... [what has come to pass?].


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 16 - 12:14 AM

O City! O latest Throne! Where I was rais'd
To be a mystery of loveliness
Unto all eyes, the time is well-nigh come
When I must render up this glorious home
To keen Discovery: soon yon brilliant towers
Shall darken with the waving of her wand;
Darken, and shrink and shiver into huts,
Black specks amid a waste of dreary sand,
Low-built, mud-wall'd, Barbarian settlements.
How chang'd from this fair City!'


"Timbuctoo"
by Alfred Tennyson

Who didn't think this particularly poem was any good. He put it together to enter a contest because his father urged him to. He won.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 16 - 10:24 PM

You forgot to mention the pythons and alligators. They're an excellent wireless disposal system.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 May 16 - 08:18 PM

HA! HA! HA! Perfect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 May 16 - 06:45 PM

Hi, Mom!

I got a phone call from a telemarketer wanting to sell me a wireless security system. I told him I already have one. He asked, "Really? What brand do you have?" I told him, "A bulldog, four shotguns, two rifles, and a revolver." He hung up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 May 16 - 05:44 PM

Julia Moore married a farmer and ran a shop, since you ask.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 16 - 09:04 AM

Amos, Amos, Amos. I would NEVER EVER laugh at the guy who wrote

I stood upon the mountain which o'erlooks        
The narrow seas, whose rapid interval        
Parts Afric from green Europe, when the sun        
Had fallen below the Atlantic, and above        
The silent heavens were blenched with faery light,              
Uncertain whether faery light or cloud,        
Flowing southward, and the chasms of deep, deep blue        
Slumbered unfathomable, and the stars        
Were flooded over with clear glory and pale.        
I gazed upon the sheeny coast beyond,              
There where the Giant of old Time infixed        
The limits of his prowess, pillars high        
Long time erased from earth; even as the Sea        
When weary of wild inroad buildeth up        
Huge mounds whereby to stay his yeasty waves.              
And much I mused on legends quaint and old,        
Which whilome won the hearts of all on earth        
Toward their brightness, even as flame draws air;        
But had their being in the heart of man,        
As air is the life of flame: and thou wert then              
A centred glory-circled memory,        
Divinest Atalantis, whom the waves        
Have buried deep, and thou of later name,


I was so deeply in sorrow and tears that I could not copy more here. Poor Mother MOAB would again turn to drink and yeasty waves would build up huge mounds in her ccup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 16 - 11:02 PM

The Eagle



BY ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON

He clasps the crag with crooked hands;
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ring'd with the azure world, he stands.

The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 16 - 08:48 PM

I have nothing to add right now.

Except

He grasps the crag with crooked claws
Up in the air with jacks and daws
And like a thunderbolt he falls.

            -- Fred, Lord Tennyson


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 16 - 05:51 PM

The pain of exit is proportional to the pain of arrival.

---First law of hot foods.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 May 16 - 05:43 PM

Oh dear!
I've too much pepper in my stew.
Oh dear!
What the fuck shall I ever do?
Oh dear!
I hope that doesn't burn as much,
Tomorrow.

--Chef gnu 'The Pepper Principle'
Unpublished for good reason, 2016


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 16 - 01:06 PM

Huzzah, hurray,
The first of May!
Outdoor sex
Begins today!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 May 16 - 12:18 PM

MOM, all of the UK mudcatters are doing strange May Day things, up before dawn. In honor of the day, I'll mow the lawn. At noon.

That is all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 16 - 10:12 PM

I've had a copy of "Pegasus Descending" since it was published. Bad literature is a hobby of mine. I also have Amos' book and some others.

There is something to be said for William Wordsworth. Here is the first version of one of his well-known poems:

I wandered lonely as a Cloud
That floats on high o'er Vales and Hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd
A host of dancing Daffodils;
Along the Lake, beneath the trees,
Ten thousand dancing in the breeze.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Outdid the sparkling waves in glee: --
A poet could not but be gay
In such a laughing company:
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude,
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the Daffodils.

The scansion is okay, but barely. The rhyming, however...well.... Of course, the use of tetrameter goes back to the Anglo-Saxon poets, however, they did not write in iambs and did (usually) have a caesura in the middle. Ah, well, for a bit of ribbon he left us....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 16 - 08:09 PM

She was a drummer for a hot metal band. :D Seriously, I was quite relieved when, on closer reading, I realized that the poetry Rapparree posted was not of his own composition. I was going to try and school him on the elements of simple cadence, scansion, and lyric construction, but finding that in fact it was someone else's work, I will reserve my diatribe for the next time he tries to foist his own stuff on our long-suffering Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Apr 16 - 05:14 PM

That is pretty impressive stuff, Rap. I wonder...how did Miss Moore earn her living?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Apr 16 - 02:24 PM

Some bibliography for my previous post:

"In the prison cell we sit --
Are we broken-hearted? --Nit!
          --William Whalen, 'The Prison Song'
          (from I.W.W. Songs to Fan the Flames of Discontent)"

quoted on page 8,
"Pegasus Descending, A Book of the Best Bad Verse"
edited by James Camp, X. J. Kennedy, and Keith Waldrop
New York: MacMillan, 1971


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Apr 16 - 01:29 PM

My introduction to the Sweet Singer of Michigan was a book called Pegasus Descending, an anthology bringing together many such, er, singers.

From which my outstanding recollection, is a different thing:

In the prison cell
We sit
Are we brokenhearted?
NIT.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 16 - 08:56 AM

She was not bound by national borders! Take her "Lord Byron":

"Lord Byron" was an Englishman
A poet I believe,
His first works in old England
Was poorly received.
Perhaps it was "Lord Byron's" fault
And perhaps it was not.
His life was full of misfortunes,
Ah, strange was his lot.

The character of "Lord Byron"
Was of a low degree,
Caused by his reckless conduct,
And bad company.
He sprung from an ancient house,
Noble, but poor, indeed.
His career on earth, was marred
By his own misdeeds.

Generous and tender hearted,
Affectionate by extreme,
In temper he was wayward,
A poor "Lord" without means;
Ah, he was a handsome fellow
With great poetic skill,
His great intellectual powers
He could use at his will.

He was a sad child of nature,
Of fortune and of fame;
Also sad child to society,
For nothing did he gain
But slander and ridicule,
Throughout his native land.
Thus the "poet of the passions,"
Lived, unappreciated, man.

Yet at the age of 24,
"Lord Byron" then had gained
The highest, highest, pinacle
Of literary fame.
Ah, he had such violent passions
They was beyond his control,
Yet the public with its justice,
Sometimes would him extol.

Sometimes again "Lord Byron"
Was censured by the press,
Such obloquy, he could not endure,
So he done what was the best.
He left his native country,
This great unhappy man;
The only wish he had, "'tis said,"
He might die, sword in hand.

He had joined the Grecian Army;
This man of delicate frame;
And there he died in a distant land,
And left on earth his fame.
"Lord Byron's" age was 36 years,
Then closed the sad career,
Of the most celebrated "Englishman"
Of the nineteenth century.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 16 - 08:56 PM

That sounds like MacGonagall to me, extolling the glories of the British Empire. Julia Moore wrote about trivial local stuff in the Midwest, didn't she? I think if they had married, though, that it might have produced some extraordinary collaboration in verse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 16 - 08:50 PM

Oh yeah? How about Julia Moore, the Sweet Singer of Michigan?

The Battle of Inkermann

'Twas in the year of 1854, and on the 5th November,
Which Britain will no doubt long remember,
When the Russians plotted to drive the British army into the sea,
But at the bayonet charge the British soon made them flee.

With fourteen hundred British, fifteen thousand Russians were driven back,
At half-past seven o'clock in the morning they made the attack,
But the Grenadiers and Scottish Fusilier Guards, seven hundred strong,
Moved rapidly and fearlessly all along.

And their rifles were levelled ready for a volley,
But the damp had silenced their fire which made the men feel melancholy,
But the Russians were hurled down the ravine in a disordered mass
At the charge of the bayonet? an inspiring sight!? nothing could it surpass.

General Cathcart thought he could strike a blow at an unbroken Russian line;
Oh! the scene was really very sublime,
Because hand to hand they fought with a free will,
And with one magnificent charge they hurled the Russians down the hill.

But while General Cathcart without any dread
Was collecting his scattered forces, he fell dead,
Pierced to the heart with a Russian ball,
And his men lamented sorely his downfall.

While the Duke of Cambridge with the colours of two Regiments of Guards
Presses forward, and no obstacle his courage retards,
And with him about one hundred men,
And to keep up their courage he was singing a hymn to them.

Then hand to hand they fought the Russians heroically,
Which was a most inspiring sight to see;
Captain Burnaby with thirteen Guardsmen fighting manfully,
And they drove the Russians down the hillside right speedily.

The French and Zouaves aided the British in the fight,
And they shot down and killed the Russians left and right,
And the Chasseurs also joined in the fight,
And the Russians fell back in great afright.

Then the Russians tried again and again
To drive the British from the slopes of Inkermann, but all in vain,
For the French and British beat them back without dismay,
Until at last the Russians had to give way.

And the French and British fought side by side
Until the Russians no longer the bayonet charge could abide,
And the Russians were literally scorched by the musketry fire,
And in a short time the Russians were forced to retire.

Then the British and the French pursued them into the depths of the ravine,
Oh! it was a grand sight? the scene was really sublime?
And at half-past one o'clock the Russians were defeated,
And from the field of Inkermann they sullenly retreated.

Then the Battle of Inkermann was won,
And from the field the Russians were forced to run,
But the loss of the British was terrible to behold;
The dead lay in heaps stiff and cold,
While thousands of Russians were dying with no one to aid them,
Alas! Pitiful to relate, thousands of innocent men.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 16 - 12:03 PM

You can't rival MacGonagall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 16 - 08:44 AM

Little Mother MOAB sat upon the burning deck,
Viewing all the evidence of that awful, awful, wreck.
Tears were welling up in her dear maternal eyes
She looked around for her all kids, her dear, belovéd guys.

Little Mother MOAB sat upon the burning deck,
And quite disliked the evidence of that awful, awful wreck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Apr 16 - 11:00 PM

Midnight! gnightgnu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 16 - 09:24 PM

Little Mother MOAB sat on the burning deck,
All around were signs of an awful, awful wreck.
HTML tags were scattered o'er the lea,
Even cows threw up on a pointy bracket p.

Little Mother MOAB viewed the awful wreck,
From her vantage point upon the burning deck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Apr 16 - 06:19 PM

♪ ♫ ♬

Oh, I'm waiting for mudcat dot org to open
I'm sitting at my laptop and I'm hopin'
That when I click my mouse
I can access that madhouse
And open up the MOAB
Where some bullshit I'll espouse ....
Oh, I'm waiting for mudcat dot org to open


Oh, I'm waiting for mudcat dot org to start
It's as balky as a mule pullin' a cart
Oh, that wheel goes round and round
While the site cannot be found
I cannot get to the MOAB
Where the bullshit does abound....
Oh, I'm waiting for mudcat dot org to start


Oh, I'm waiting for mudcat dot org to load
I'm sure it will do so somewhere down the road
Oh, I'd love to post bullshit
And astound others with my wit
But I can't get to the MOAB
So in this here chair I sit....
Just waiting for mudcat dot org to load

♪ ♫ ♬


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 16 - 10:08 AM

You can substitute shark, ray, Martin, Fender, Gibson, or catfish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Apr 16 - 09:59 AM

That recipe is for guitar fish, not guitar. I have no guitarfish in my freezer. I have some shark meat. I suppose it could be substituted. The only problem is that I have pounds of shark meat, not grams. I've caught many sharks over the years, but I've never caught a metric shark. I don't think they inhabit this part of The Gulf of Mexico. The nearest place where they use the metric system is Mexico. I suppose a few metric sharks, (and maybe metric guitarfish as well) show up in the waters near the US/Mexico border, but that's 700 miles from here. Not gonna drive that far.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 16 - 09:20 PM

Eat a guitar? Well, yes. Here's a recipe:

1 tablespoon coriander seeds
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 teaspoon fenugreek seeds
˝ teaspoon ground turmeric
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon grated ginger
⅓ cup vegetable oil
1 small red onion, diced
2 green chillies, seeded and finely chopped
12 curry leaves
2 teaspoons salt flakes
500g piece guitar fish tail meat, cubed
2 large ripe tomatoes, chopped
150g okra, trimmed
1 cup coconut milk
˝ cup water
1 tablespoon lime juice
Steamed basmati rice, to serve

Tempering Mixture
2 tablespoons ghee
12 curry leaves
2 golden shallots, sliced
1 green chilli, seeded and finely sliced
2 teaspoons brown mustard seeds

Dry roast and grind the coriander, cumin and fenugreek; mix with the turmeric, garlic, ginger and 1 tablespoon of the oil. Rub this mixture into the fish and set aside for 20 minutes.

Heat remaining oil in a frying pan, add onion, chilli, curry leaves and salt and cook for a few minutes, until onion softens. Add fish and toss gently over a high heat, until coloured on all sides. Remove from pan and set aside.

Add tomatoes and okra to the pan and cook for a minute or 2 then add coconut milk and water. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to medium and cook for 4-5 minutes until okra starts to soften. Add fish and cook for a further minute.

Meanwhile, make tempering mixture: heat ghee, add remaining ingredients and cook until mustard seeds start to pop. Remove from heat.

Remove curry from heat, stir in lime juice and tempering mixture and serve with steamed rice.


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