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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 24 Aug 09 - 11:55 AM
Amos 24 Aug 09 - 11:38 AM
Amos 24 Aug 09 - 10:59 AM
Rapparee 24 Aug 09 - 09:03 AM
Janie 24 Aug 09 - 07:14 AM
Acme 23 Aug 09 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 09 - 09:46 PM
Acme 23 Aug 09 - 06:36 PM
Janie 23 Aug 09 - 04:31 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 09 - 12:17 PM
Acme 23 Aug 09 - 10:19 AM
Acme 23 Aug 09 - 01:07 AM
Janie 22 Aug 09 - 11:54 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 09 - 09:52 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 09 - 03:34 PM
Amos 22 Aug 09 - 02:43 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 09 - 01:42 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 09 - 01:32 PM
gnu 22 Aug 09 - 01:04 PM
Amos 22 Aug 09 - 11:18 AM
Rapparee 22 Aug 09 - 11:16 AM
Amos 22 Aug 09 - 11:12 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Aug 09 - 10:48 AM
Janie 21 Aug 09 - 11:52 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 11:39 PM
Janie 21 Aug 09 - 11:33 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 11:26 PM
Janie 21 Aug 09 - 10:57 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 10:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 09 - 10:46 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 10:24 PM
Janie 21 Aug 09 - 10:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 09 - 09:24 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 09:21 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 09:09 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 08:30 PM
Janie 21 Aug 09 - 08:27 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 07:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 09 - 07:25 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 07:19 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 07:13 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 03:16 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 02:22 PM
Acme 21 Aug 09 - 11:10 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 09 - 10:38 AM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 10:14 AM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 11:36 PM
Janie 20 Aug 09 - 11:25 PM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 10:51 PM
Janie 20 Aug 09 - 10:43 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 09 - 11:55 AM

"Maybe hip boots would be better. Or even waders," she continued.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 09 - 11:38 AM

"One of my childhood memories is of placing a chicken egg in a goose nest when I was about 10 (my young scientist phase). That mother goose was thrilled when her eggs hatched, and maternal love is such that she never seemed to notice that one of her babies was a neckless midget.

As for the chick, she never doubted her goosiness. At night, our chickens would roost high up in the barn, while the geese would sleep on the floor, with their heads tucked under their wings. This chick slept with the goslings, and she tried mightily to stretch her neck under her wing. No doubt she had a permanent crick in her neck.

Then the fateful day came when the mother goose took her brood to the water for the first time. She jumped in, and the goslings leaped in after her. The chick stood on the bank, aghast.

For the next few days, mother and daughter tried to reason it out, each deeply upset by the other's intransigence. After several days of barnyard trauma, the chick underwent an identity crisis, nature triumphed over nurture, and she redefined herself as a hen.

She moved across the barn to hang out with the chickens. At first she still slept goose-like, and visited her "mother" and fellow goslings each day, but within two months she no longer even acknowledged her stepmother and stepsiblings and behaved just like other chickens.

Recollections like that make me wistful for a healthy rural America composed of diverse family farms, which also offer decent and varied lives for the animals themselves (at least when farm boys aren't conducting "scientific" experiments). In contrast, a modern industrialized operation is a different world: more than 100,000 hens in cages, their beaks removed, without a rooster, without geese or other animals, spewing out pollution and ending up as so-called food ? a calorie factory, without any soul. "

(From Nicholas Kristof's column in the ?NYT).

I thought that story was just beautiful.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 09 - 10:59 AM

"Inconceivable," he replied.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 09 - 09:03 AM

"Wear your rubbers," she said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Aug 09 - 07:14 AM

Ice is good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 09 - 10:31 PM

Something's afoot with Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 09 - 09:46 PM

Galoushes. Five-buckle boots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 09 - 06:36 PM

Careful with the wine or you could get a little careless and really mess up that knee!

I have a smallish stack of books I've accumulated this month to read. Haven't started any, but I need to. And two on order from Amazon.

MOM likes recorded books. I think I heard her playing an old Mickey Spillane novel when she was working around the kitchen one evening last week.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Aug 09 - 04:31 PM

I need some TLC, MOM. Yesterday afternoon some tiny little moving part in my knee took a notion to zig instead of zag. It hurt, but my knees often do. Woke up this morning with it swollen and very reluctant to bend. So instead of being out and about and enjoying this beautifully temperate day, I'm on the couch with an ice pack.

But that's not so bad as I have two new books to read, and am putting a serious dent in one of them.

Now, MOM, would you bring me a bite to eat and a glass of wine?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 09 - 12:17 PM

AND run out of town on a rail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 09 - 10:19 AM

What is it with all of these Internet ads that say "Mom Lost 47 pounds" "Crowley Mom does this or that" etc. Targeted (I don't live in Crowley, but it is nearby). Do they think that Moms can't be big fools like everyone else when it comes to advertising? Now, if they said "MOM Moab" did anything I'd see they were tarred and feathered.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 09 - 01:07 AM

Sorry I was away for so long today, MOM. We did a birthday lunch for Moonglow and me ("21 and Over-21") and then I decided to treat myself to the Harry Potter movie (Good!). I walked in the door to a ringing phone--Moonglow called to tell me that her Dad, who was supposed to pick up her brother at 9:30, had locked himself out of his car AND his house. I went to go get my son (who was at a mall on a Saturday night after hours) and deliver him to his father. Unlocked his door and they will resume their weekend.

MOM wouldn't have made this mistake.

Oh, and it's a dirty rotten lie, about the Depends. Mom is NOT incontinent. Someone was listening to a Revolutionary War documentary and heard about the Continental Army and misunderstood what they were hearing. It wasn't me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 11:54 PM

Good night, and Good Luck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 09:52 PM

Oh, well said, Amos! I bow to your greater knowledge in these matters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 03:34 PM

So...I apologize correcting you on a simply typo. But I'm still not sure I want to trust your directions.

"Just sail 92 degrees true and...oops, I meant 90 degrees. Sorry about that, but the navy has to practice gunnery somewhere."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 02:43 PM

LH, I urge you to be circumspect in your apprenticeship to oratorical pomposity and theatrical rhetorical mastery. Part of the art is to understate your own enjoyment in relishing the gestures, to use them with grace and gravitas, thus adding to their irresistible burden of dark power and ineluctable verity.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 01:42 PM

And it's even more fun if you make a fist with one hand and pound the desk as you utter the words. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 01:32 PM

Fie! Bosh! Balderdash! Stuff and nonsense! Horse feathers! Bunk! Rubbish!

Such fun it is to use those expressions. ;-) Very stress-relieving.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 01:04 PM

I do north.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 11:18 AM

Sir, fie on you or trying to make capital out of a simple typo. I assure you, I know the two apart as clearly as I know the difference between your upper and lower ends, easy though it may be to confuse them.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 11:16 AM

Well it's no WONDER Amos spent all those years marooned on a desert island. He doesn't know his SSE from his SSW.

Ah, Amos ol' buddy boy -- don't get out of the sight of land, okay? Maybe you should tie a really long rope to the kayak and the bumper of your car, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 11:12 AM

Well, it ran a bit faster northerly than I had expected. But never mind--it's an experimental app, not like BWL's which is obviously Federally approved.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 10:48 AM

Hi, Mom! I just downloaded a hyperspatial temperature sensor app for my iPhone! It's really cool! I pointed it at Albebaran last night and, ten seconds later, it told me that the star's surface temperature is 3,050 Kelvin. The app uses hyperspatial wormholes to bypass that old 671,000,000 MPH speed limit imposed by the Relativity Police. Otherwise, I'd have had to wait 130 years for the results to come back.

I showed it to Gluon, but he wasn't impressed. I believe his comment translated to, "Big deal. I could have done it in half the time."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:52 PM

Please forgive me kind sirrah. In my impatience, I missed your post with the specifics, and have just now realized how I may have maligned the reputation of you and your device.

I'm contenplating, though not very seriously, a run down to the coast late tomorrow afternoon to observe the power of wind on water on barrier island when the winds themselves do not caress the barrier islands, but rather, send the sea in their stead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:39 PM

I bet its pretty close. LEt me know at 1130 tomorrow.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:33 PM

Ah, Amos, I always BLEEVE YU.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:26 PM

I meant SSE, sorry. Don't you BLEEVE meee?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:57 PM

The answer to my question, I guess, is no, your gizmo can not tell me that.


That's ok, you and your gizmo are good people anyways.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:55 PM

Janie:

It will be 173 miles SSW of the Wrightsville Beach, plus or minus thirty-two miles.


Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:46 PM

Sonar range-finding does not work in a vacuum....

Yeah, that's what I expected you'd say. It's so typical of you engineer types.   Always obsessing over details like laws of physics and such.

But that's okay. If it were possible to send a sound pulse to Rigel, it would take roughly 1,351,250,380 years for it to get there and back. I don't have the time to wait.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:24 PM

Rapaire:

Yeah, but will it make phone calls, play music, and look up words?? Call up Google Maps and Wikipedia pages on any subject? Play games and send email?

Bruce: Sonar range-finding does not work in a vacuum, I imagine you can figger why. But just to satisfy your insatiable curiousity, Rigel, which is in Orion, is 237.00176 parsecs away, or 773 light years or 4,503,033,440,000,000 (about 4.503,033x1015 miles..

Rigel, for your information, has a diameter of about 100 million kilometres, some seventy times that of the Sun. It has too distant companions which form a blue double-star.

Be well, and don't get too close to any blue super-giants.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:18 PM

Can you tell me how far off of Wrightsville beach the eye of Hurricane Bill will be tomorrow at 11:35 am?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 09:24 PM

That's really cool, Amos! I need to know how far is it to Rigel. Yeah, I know it's pretty far away so your iPhone's accuracy may be questionable, but within a couple hundred yards is close enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 09:21 PM

Will it detect a U-boat that's stalking a convoy? Or even a bunch of fish? I've got a $30 sonic distance measurer from Home Depot that will measure distances up to 100 feet on dry land, but it ain't worth nothin' in water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 09:09 PM

Mom!! Guess what I am downloading!! It's a neat app for my iPhone which uses sonar to measure distance to distant objects.


Is that KEWL??? Or WHAT???


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 08:30 PM

Well, it's all depends, as they iuseter say!!

I am going to Dana Point to visit old shipmates and pretend I still remember all the old sea songs we useter get blind drunk over in the focsle berths. They'll pretend I got 'em right and we'll have a grand auld time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 08:27 PM

With the help of a pulley and what dose of oxycontin?



Seriously, that's good to hear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 07:29 PM

Looks like poor old Mom's in the shit now for sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 07:25 PM

Wait a minute! Amos can't just take off and go kayaking! It's his turn to change Mom's Depends!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 07:19 PM

I WAS ABLE, WITH THE HELP OF PULLEYS, TO RAISE MY LEFT ARM STRAIGHT UP AT PT THIS AFTERNOON!!!!!

Four weeks and two days after surgery....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 07:13 PM

And not alone therein, good my Bookmaster!!


Well. Momm, we survived the perfect storm of technological ingenuity and creativity this week and got two patents filed by COB Friday. I don't mind saying I am glad this week is over.

Happy weekend. I am away for Dana Point on the morning tide (well, actually, I am going by I-5) but I shall endeavour to come a -calling by the end of Sunday. Pray, siblings, keep our mother well, and do not slight her, nor her false rumors tell as would affright her.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 03:16 PM

Odd, that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 02:22 PM

In modern slang it has transliterated into "Meh" which kind of means "I barely acknowledge being in the presence of your question in any dimension."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:10 AM

MOM! Diane Rehm caught her heel in the hem of her pants yesterday and cracked her pelvis when she fell! She'll be away from her radio program for weeks! Oh, we will miss her so! I know this is MOM's favorite radio call in talk show.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:38 AM

So "" is "mu", huh? I've heard of it, but never seen it written in Greek.

But it's a bit of serendipity that "mu" should arise just as the discussion has turned toward the theme of the MOAB. We are referring not to the Greek letter, but the Japanese word, best known to westerners via the Zen koan:

A monk asked Jsh: "Has a dog Buddha-nature or not?"

Jsh answered: "Mu."


"Mu" is a negative answer, but it doesn't literally mean "No". It means something more like "Unask the question" or, in a more modern translation, "What the fuck?". What more appropriate answer to the question "What is the nature of the MOAB?" could there be?

And, of course, there's the added bonus of the fact that "Mu" is a homonym of "Moo", thus establishing a link between the bovine source of literal BS and the MOABic source of cosmic BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:14 AM

I think...

The Khandu Code

or perhaps

The Book of Revelations

or maybe

The Decline And Fall

or, if you prefer

The Necronomicon


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 11:36 PM

The Unbearable Illumination of the Mother of All BS

Soaring with Mom

The Mother of Paths Not Taken

I Was a Teenage Mother of All BS


...

Catch me quick, I'm siiiinking.......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 11:25 PM

Cool!


Now, what about a book title?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:51 PM

1, is used in engineering circles to symbolize the prefix micro.

2. The theme is the transcendent nature of high-quality BS in contrast with the dynamic fluctuation of quotidien reality in the common sandbox, the fact-based, agreed-upon, BS-free world which dampens the crerative spirit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:43 PM

What would the primary theme be? Playing the Dozens?

Notice I said "theme", and not "plot."

OK, ok, I'm a relative newcomer to the thread, and certainly not a major contributor (in terms of quantity or quality.) What I do suspect, however, is that stream of consciousness is generally much more interesting to the streamers than to the audience.

Then there is the problem of promotion. To promote said book, one must determine a genre - I mean - who is
our target market audience - ya' know?

SciFi? Trash Romance? Historical Novel? Fantasy? Adventure? Mythology? Psychological Thriller?





Wait.












I got an idea.










A flash of brilliance, actually.......









The first book in a new genre.....

















Ready?




































































































On second thought, nevermind.


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