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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 16 Feb 09 - 07:54 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 09 - 07:42 PM
Little Hawk 16 Feb 09 - 06:00 PM
Amos 16 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM
Little Hawk 16 Feb 09 - 04:13 PM
Acme 16 Feb 09 - 12:40 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 16 Feb 09 - 12:34 PM
Little Hawk 16 Feb 09 - 12:23 PM
Acme 16 Feb 09 - 10:39 AM
Amos 16 Feb 09 - 02:26 AM
Little Hawk 15 Feb 09 - 09:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 09 - 08:38 PM
Acme 15 Feb 09 - 08:14 PM
Little Hawk 15 Feb 09 - 12:16 PM
Amos 15 Feb 09 - 11:59 AM
Little Hawk 15 Feb 09 - 11:53 AM
Acme 15 Feb 09 - 11:49 AM
Acme 15 Feb 09 - 12:30 AM
Little Hawk 15 Feb 09 - 12:00 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 09 - 11:36 PM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 09 - 11:13 PM
Amos 14 Feb 09 - 10:40 PM
Amos 14 Feb 09 - 08:53 PM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 09 - 06:20 PM
Acme 14 Feb 09 - 05:33 PM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 09 - 12:52 PM
Acme 14 Feb 09 - 01:14 AM
Amos 14 Feb 09 - 12:39 AM
Janie 13 Feb 09 - 11:49 PM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 09 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 09 - 08:44 PM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 09 - 07:11 PM
Amos 13 Feb 09 - 07:02 PM
Acme 13 Feb 09 - 06:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Feb 09 - 06:20 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 09 - 03:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Feb 09 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 09 - 11:08 AM
MMario 13 Feb 09 - 09:09 AM
Rapparee 13 Feb 09 - 08:38 AM
Amos 12 Feb 09 - 11:21 PM
Amos 12 Feb 09 - 10:54 PM
Acme 12 Feb 09 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 09 - 10:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Feb 09 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 09 - 09:15 PM
Acme 12 Feb 09 - 07:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Feb 09 - 05:57 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 09 - 05:32 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 09 - 08:45 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 09 - 07:54 PM

MOM, I'm going to the eye doctor tomorrow (don't tell Nurse Ratched, I don't need her deciding to check my stiff neck before I leave the house. I know it's there because I'm tipping my head back to see my computer screen).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 09 - 07:42 PM

What? I come home from Jackson Hole and GTNP and you think I was at some sort of GOP tent revival with LH?? At -7 F.??? In the middle of the National Elk Refuge????

(Calling Nurse Ratchet! Help needed with Mr. Amos!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 09 - 06:00 PM

Whaddya talkin' about??? Chongo already IS someone respectable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM

Boy, you and Rapaire must be fresh back from the Great GOP Revival committee meeting, LH!! I have never seen such rampant and frabjous and unctuous venal mendacity in all my born days. Poor, poor Chinga. All she ever wanted to do was see her brother become somebody respectable; but alas, 'twas ne'er to be!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 09 - 04:13 PM

5 degrees below freezing here today. That's pretty mild for February.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 09 - 12:40 PM

North Texas - 39 today as opposed to 59 yesterday and 75 a couple of days earlier.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 16 Feb 09 - 12:34 PM

Well Mom, I'm heading home. 0F this a.m., compared to -7 yesterday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 09 - 12:23 PM

Chongo's poor showing in the election was due to one thing, Amos. Specism. Rank prejudice. As for Chinga...she's not his sister. She's some kind of troublemaker who is pretending to be his sister. She was probably paid off to do it by some of Chongo's political enemies. I know you were very worried about the damage that the APP could do to your candidate, Mr Obama, and the votes they might siphon off from the Democrats, so I'm not a bit surprised that you are involved with this simian Mata Hari who acted to sabotage Chongo's campaign. Shame, sir, shame! Fie!

p.s. - I'll see your swan and raise you 2 Emus and a Great Northern Auk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 09 - 10:39 AM

We get a modest eye exam and glasses coverage at work and dental that is fine as long as nothing is wrong, but those co-pays shoot way up if you have to have word done outside of regular cleanings. They act like your eyes and teeth aren't a part of your health. It's time all of those things were lumped together, yet truth be told, most "traditional" health care plans probably booted those two out because too many folks actually need glasses and dental work. It's like kicking out those with "pre-existing conditions."

So how long do you have to eat a mashed potatoe diet, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 09 - 02:26 AM

See, that's where you and old Chongo have SO much in common, LH. You're both more than willing to turn your back on the hard-working gal who has given her all for you, who is the real secret behind your good fortune; but you will turn and walk out on her without so much as a thank you!! Feckless ingratitude!! No wonder Chongo never got any votes; his turpitude was showing and the voters knew it!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 09 - 09:01 PM

I don't figure Canada's much better in that respect, Bee-Dub. Dental work is very expensive here and it is NOT covered by our health insurance program! It's the big gaping hole in the program. Most of the other medical stuff is covered, but not dental...unless it is surgery done in a hospital by an M.D. I have no other notable medical expenses most of the time, but dental is a killer. If I was close to Mexico, and I knew the right place to go, I'd probably do exactly what Amos is doing.....aside from the visits with Chinga, that is! (shudder) I wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole. Not even a six inch pole. Uh-uh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 09 - 08:38 PM

Little Hawk probably doesn't realize how expensive dental procedures are in the US. Periodontists, for example, commonly use a contract that requires patients remit 50% of their monthly incomes until they die. Then, should they be reincarnated in human form, they must resume payments upon their new incarnation's 21st birthday. It's called the "Dental Karmic Wheel Program" and, once you get on, the only way off is to come back as a whelk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Feb 09 - 08:14 PM

The pot roast is about ready to serve up. I had some cheap red wine so I poured it into the sauce. Oughta give it a nice zip! It's all nice and soft for Amos' poor sore mouth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 09 - 12:16 PM

What an ingrate! I insisted for months that Chinga did not exist for one and only one reason, Amos. To protect your reputation. I didn't want the sordid details of your interspecies romance to ever be revealed to the world at large. I tried and tried to get you to shut up about Chinga, but you just wouldn't listen, you went on and on, and now it's too late! Your situation has become painfully obvious even to bored housewives in Schenectady. Still, I will stand by you, old buddy. That's the kind of friend I am. Yessiree. Friends like that are not easy to find, but you can count on me, even if you are living in denial 24 hours a day and consorting with a flea-ridden, disease-carrying simian sex maniac with the manners and morals of an alley cat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 09 - 11:59 AM

Oho!! THIS from the man who insisted for months poor Chinga did not exist!!! What feckless slander.

The costs of dental work in Tijuana is about 1/3 or 1/2 that for the same work in San Diego. So it's worth the walk from the border into town and back. We have a really top-drawer clinica dentale down there.

I am back in the office watching whirlwind shards of last week's overtime drift through the wind.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 09 - 11:53 AM

He goes down there for his illicit rendezvous's (plural) with Chinga, his simian paramour...

Never has the expression "the beast with two backs" been realized in a seamier and more revolting fashion! It's disgraceful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Feb 09 - 11:49 AM

Is Amos through staggering around in the streets of Tijuana? Did he stay put in his bed after he made it back home to San Diego, or did he wake up and start roaming around again? MOM wants to know if she needs to send the Legion Hall boys out to look for him, 'cause she thought she saw him walk past the house headed south at about 3am.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Feb 09 - 12:30 AM

Sweet, LH!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 09 - 12:00 AM

Try this one on for size.

Will you be my valentine?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 11:36 PM

Hi, Mom! Here's aValentine's Day rose for you.

I would give Little Hawk a Valentine's Day turd, but it would probably crash his browser again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 11:13 PM

Why do you go to Tijuana for dental treatment? I'm sure you have a good reason, I'm just wondering, that's all. Does DougR know that you are going outside the Homeland to get medical treatment???? (gasp!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 10:40 PM

Mom:

We made it back despite several attempted kidnappings -- by the time the surgeon had finished tying up his little stitches, the buzz on the street was we ate bullets and killed with a single glance. So they left us alone heading back to el autro lado.

It is always interesting to visit Tijuana. This trip was early in the morning, and the thoroughfares were blank and the doorways shut, and the mobs still in hiding.

One little blue pill and ten shots of Novocaine and blood coagulant, and I was off in dream land, The hike back across town was fuzzy and dream like. It is a good thing, too, that my BBW and First Valentine was willing to take the trip home. I passed out for four hours.

So now I have slept off the sedative and the side of my world-renowned jawline is beginning to tell me what I have put it through, and it is not a pretty story. Hopefully things will be better in the morning...


Your favorite rambling boy,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 08:53 PM

Obsessive adherence to some idea that seems right to you is not mental competency, LH. AU contraire!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 06:20 PM

Am I the only one left here who is mentally competent???

(that was a rhetorical question) ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 05:33 PM

This Thread is not a Person???

Hush your mouth, LH, or it'll be Lifebouy for the rest of the afternoon!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 12:52 PM

Will you people stop all this "Mom" stuff!? It's making me feel ill. This thread is not a person, it's a forum for self-expression, so express, dang it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 01:14 AM

MOM, the kitchen is spotless. Don't let the boys mess it up tomorrow while I'm out barbecuing burgers in the driveway for the kids. We're doing a smallish wake for the kitty we lost a couple of weeks ago. I know, it seems silly, but this is the first pet the kids lost.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 12:39 AM

I will spend the day fighting off drug-crazed drug smuggling mafiosi SOuth of the Border, making my way through lead and fire to the safe haven of a dental clinic where I will have the pleasure of going under while they stick bone implant material into the roof of my mouth.

Another 13-hour day at work Mom;. THis economy really sucks.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 11:49 PM

Seems a bit harsh on yer Old Man's Birthday, Leo, to get kicks from all over the world.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 10:48 PM

Do you intend to go in the nude?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 08:44 PM

Mom, this may be my last post.

I'm going to Jackson Hole, Wyoming this weekend, we're leaving tomorrow and I won't be back until Monday.

We'll ride on a sleigh through the elk herd at the National Elk Refuge, we'll stay right in downtown JH. I'm not sure that I'll have computer access this weekend, so this might be my last post, at least until Monday. Most likely I will, but who knows?

I know I'll be home Monday, because, Mom, I can't afford to stay in JH. The billionaires are driving out the millionaires there, or were last year. Who knows what is in store this year?

We'll eat at Bubba's, never fear. And we have reservations at the Gun Barrel tomorrow night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 07:11 PM

I'll see your swan and raise you an albatros.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 07:02 PM

At least we now know who to blame for this chaos. I swan, it is beginning to look like the End Time of the Czars. SHeesh.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 06:32 PM

Ouch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 06:20 PM

Okay, I lied. It wasn't an large iguana. It was a small pterodactyl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 03:43 PM

Bold devil, aren't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 03:24 PM

Hi Mom, sorry I haven't dropped in today until now. I had a large iquana stuck in my pants.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 11:08 AM

Mom, I'm sorry I didn't drop by yesterday but I was busy plotting the overthrow of the established social order.

Oh, wait, I see that I did.

Never mind, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 09:09 AM

Hey MOM!

Sorry I didn't drop by yesterday - but I was making arrangements for my Dad's b'day surprise. He and his wife will be at my brother's in Atlanta over his b'day; and I've asked my knitting group to send him b'day cards.

If every one does it who says they are going to he is going to get cards from all over the world. Paris, Vienna, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Londen, Glasgow, several places in Canada and south america;many of the US states; and I think Japen and China. Several from Australia.

I think he's going to get a kick out of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 08:38 AM

ONLY a 14 hour day?

Wimp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 11:21 PM

Well, that's better, anyway. I got to the orifice at 6AM and worked until 8 tonight. I am less gruntled than usual as a result.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 10:54 PM

I have now lost two separate posts to this thread and I am annoyed about that. Fortunately the good spirits of those of you who dance at Mom's place while I am away make up for it and heal my ill humor.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 10:28 PM

Clever characters, you two are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 10:03 PM

You're saying that Mom cleverly and cleanly cleaves clams with a classy claymore? She cleaves kale at the same time, you know. Yes, she's a clever classy claymore cleaver cleanly cleaving clams and kale.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 09:56 PM

Have you ever seen Mom make clam chowder?

She cleaves the clams cleanly with a claymore.

Clever, isn't she?

And classy, too.

Clearly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 09:15 PM

Mom is an expert -- a Maestro, a Master At Arms (Maestra, Mistress At Arms??) -- in every one of the Western Martial Arts, from grappling to the use of the halberd. I've seen her use her great Landsknecht sword to cleave three feet into an oak stump four feet tall, use backsword and targe like a Highlander, and fight with a case of rapiers like she was Romeo himself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 07:07 PM

Is she still carrying one of the broadswords we cleaned and polished? No one is likely to bother her when she hikes around with one of those.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 05:57 PM

I saw Mom walking down the road earlier. I almost stopped and gave her a lift, but she looked like she could probably use the exercise to help her sober up. Next time Rapaire has a birthday party... no tequila.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 05:32 PM

Poor Mom. Poor old Mom. Drifting closer and closer to The Bottom because no one except me cares.

Poor, poor old Mom.

Here's some refreshment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 08:45 AM

Yep. But you really shouldn't shoot one off in the middle of town, especially after the barrel is plugged.

Fortunately there was no explosion last night, so I assume that they didn't find the shell. It used to be kept down in the Gun Room, where they keep the rifles used for salutes at military function. Well, not rifle exactly -- they're really Brown Bess muskets seized from the British at Yorktown. The US Army supplied them to the Legion after WW1, but welded the touch holes closed so they couldn't be used to actually shoot anything. All you can do is load the pan with a bit of priming powder and watch it go FOMF! when you shoot it off.

The most exciting thing they've ever done with the muskets was in 1972, when they were "firing" a salute and the powder ignited Hairless Harry's beard. Took a bucket of beer before they could put him out, mostly because the bucket had to be refilled three times before it was dumped on him. Never made it completely along the bucket brigade the first two times.


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