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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 06 Nov 15 - 09:51 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 15 - 09:06 PM
gnu 06 Nov 15 - 06:08 PM
gnu 06 Nov 15 - 03:03 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 15 - 10:25 PM
Acme 05 Nov 15 - 10:02 PM
Amos 05 Nov 15 - 08:42 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 15 - 10:37 AM
Rapparee 04 Nov 15 - 09:12 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 15 - 08:15 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 15 - 06:05 PM
Amos 03 Nov 15 - 04:05 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 15 - 08:56 AM
Rapparee 03 Nov 15 - 08:55 AM
Amos 03 Nov 15 - 12:47 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 15 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 15 - 08:51 PM
Amos 02 Nov 15 - 07:36 PM
Amos 02 Nov 15 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 02 Nov 15 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 15 - 04:46 PM
Acme 01 Nov 15 - 12:31 PM
Amos 01 Nov 15 - 12:05 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 15 - 10:15 PM
gnu 31 Oct 15 - 02:29 PM
Acme 31 Oct 15 - 10:47 AM
Rapparee 30 Oct 15 - 09:51 PM
Acme 30 Oct 15 - 07:37 PM
Amos 30 Oct 15 - 06:55 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 15 - 10:25 AM
gnu 29 Oct 15 - 07:20 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 15 - 08:45 AM
Acme 28 Oct 15 - 10:57 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 15 - 10:56 PM
Amos 28 Oct 15 - 01:44 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 15 - 09:15 AM
Amos 28 Oct 15 - 12:29 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 15 - 10:44 PM
gnu 27 Oct 15 - 09:51 PM
Amos 27 Oct 15 - 07:17 PM
Amos 27 Oct 15 - 01:03 AM
Acme 26 Oct 15 - 11:28 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 15 - 10:25 PM
gnu 26 Oct 15 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 15 - 09:08 PM
Amos 26 Oct 15 - 12:51 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 15 - 11:47 AM
Rapparee 26 Oct 15 - 09:01 AM
Acme 25 Oct 15 - 03:36 PM
Amos 25 Oct 15 - 11:19 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Nov 15 - 09:51 PM

Nope. I am gonna liver in a castle after I win the Looto Max tonight. Hahahahahaa! "liver". Talk about a Freudian fuck me up! THAT is hilarious. Hey... ya gotta laugh or just... never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 15 - 09:06 PM

So you're gonna go live on the streets, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Nov 15 - 06:08 PM

The new front and back steps look fab! Precast concrete and the black enamelled railings are to die for. I also got rid of the English Spreading Yews and the little cedar shit thingies out front. Looks a treat! Gotta get the curb appeal up for the spring sale. House sales are way down here but I own a house in the best location, location, location for many miles so I am optimistic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Nov 15 - 03:03 PM

I recall the pawn shop guy telling me how much my wedding ring weighed and how much he would give me for it. I responded, "That's all it weighs? It was a helluva heavier than that when I was wearing it!" They say humour helps heal. They are wrong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 15 - 10:25 PM

To catalog the books both Pat and I use Book Collector (http://www.collectorz.com/book/). You buy it but it's really good AND you can upload it to the cloud and then download it onto a smartphone, iphone, etc. Pat and I both have it on our iPods and being able to check for duplicates has already saved us more than the cost of the software. AND you can buy a scanner and input that way by ISBN, or by author/title, or LCCN. Overall, we find it an excellent buy (thus sayeth two pro librarians, albeit now retired, both of whom are OCLC charter members). See the PM from me.

Amos, the biggest reason I kept the tooth was that it has a gold crown on it. Not a lot of gold, but it'll buy a good dinner and drinks for two around here. As the oral surgeon said, "Eight hundred dollars to go in and worth maybe sixty when it's out."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Nov 15 - 10:02 PM

Apologies, MOM. You were supposed to have the harness and rappelling gear on for that drop over the edge. It's a real rush when you do it correctly - even if you're descending into a crevasse on a glacier.

Rap, I need to catalog the books and the quilts here. I'll look into the it's all covered under the "Contents Clause" of the homeowner's policy that you mentioned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Nov 15 - 08:42 PM

You kept back a wisdom tooth??

No wonder! This explains everything. It had gone bad. When wisdom teeth go bad, wisdom fails completely; it cannot but follow as the night the day, that as the wisdom tooth rots, so goes the wisdom.

There is no evidence that removing it will improve matters, but I suppose one can use hope in place of wisdom.

This will turn you into a socialist, but that's a risk we all have to take. It's the price you pay for backing cookies instead of Lou Gehrig.

You pays yer money and you takes yer chances.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 15 - 10:37 AM

Yet again Supersibling pulls Mom back from the edge of perdition, from the railroad tracks along which I found her strolling, her golden hair in ringlets a-hangin' down her back, little knowing the danger she was in as she walked along the track! But she is home enjoying her warm milk and freshly backed cookies, tucked up in a lovely quilt and playing with her dolls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 15 - 09:12 PM

Now, Mother being saved from A Fate Worse Than Death, I will say:

I'm on drugs man! Like the good stuff that medical types have! Like for the third time this year I had like general anesthesia! The oral surgeon took out my last remaining wisdom tooth, so I am no longer wise, and gave it to me, gold crown and all. The tooth's all red, but the gold is gold. So like I can get some money from that for another, like, fix. Of course, I might have some stuff in the medicine cabinets, including the T-4 I just got. So like everythnakkggs lick co flowklerscolorsoWOW


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 15 - 08:15 PM

It happened! Mom fell off! Without me there to rescue her who knows how long she would have been in the freezing water, clobbered by ice flows, and no one but me to help?

Well, she's okay now, sitting her rocker, covered with her favorite quilt, and sipping hot cider (with 151 rum) through a straw.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 15 - 06:05 PM

Tomorrow at 1320 MST I must away to the barber-chirgeon to have a tooth (which is not bothering me) extracted. Because the fellow with the pull is an oral surgeon and because stitches will be involved, there will be IV anesthesia.

My curse upon your venom'd stang,
That shoots my tortur'd gums alang,
An' thro' my lug gies mony a twang,
Wi' gnawing vengeance,
Tearing my nerves wi' bitter pang,
Like racking engines!

When fevers burn, or argues freezes,
Rheumatics gnaw, or colics squeezes,
Our neibor's sympathy can ease us,
Wi' pitying moan;
But thee-thou hell o' a' diseases-
Aye mocks our groan.

Adown my beard the slavers trickle
I throw the wee stools o'er the mickle,
While round the fire the giglets keckle,
To see me loup,
While, raving mad, I wish a heckle
Were in their doup!

In a' the numerous human dools,
Ill hairsts, daft bargains, cutty stools,
Or worthy frien's rak'd i' the mools, -
Sad sight to see!
The tricks o' knaves, or fash o'fools,
Thou bear'st the gree!

Where'er that place be priests ca' hell,
Where a' the tones o' misery yell,
An' ranked plagues their numbers tell,
In dreadfu' raw,
Thou, Toothache, surely bear'st the bell,
Amang them a'!

O thou grim, mischief-making chiel,
That gars the notes o' discord squeel,
Till daft mankind aft dance a reel
In gore, a shoe-thick,
Gie a' the faes o' Scotland's weal
A townmond's toothache!

                  --Robert "Bobby" Burns


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 15 - 04:05 PM

Returning lead with aplomb is plumber's work, surely? Those half-hatted madders with the hanging trou below, flaunting their leaden nethers at the world while wreaking creaky havoc on lead pipes in strange places? Why would you plumb those depths, being neither dense nor particularly malleable?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 15 - 08:56 AM

I forgot to call dibs on 53435. Sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 15 - 08:55 AM

Fret not, Goode Amos, for I shall so do anon. I must away to the Range to attempt a new sight on the Pietta's companion rifle and bring Big Brother also, who is neither dusty nor dirty as in the picture. But alack! the weather for this se'ennight bodes rain and I feel not the need to immediately dash out into the wet. For we do indeed need the shoures soote to perce to the roote the drought which hath settled upon the tendre croppes of these mountains and plains. So I shall wait and when the sunne doth again shine I shall fare forth and return lead, with aplomb, to the Earth. And mark ye that with Big Brother I am prepared well should a herd of wild bison again intrude upon the now nearly silent splendor the the Golffe Course behind my home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 15 - 12:47 AM

Well, the important thing is HAVING one, not using it., So no worries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 15 - 08:53 PM

Please note that I have been so very busy and involved with various forms of insurance that I haven't had time to go shoot my new Pietta .45 Colt revolver.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 15 - 08:51 PM

Shucks and durns, it's all covered under the "Contents Clause" of the homeowner's policy. But the agent did say that he'd never been asked that before.

So Pat hit him with her quilt collection. Same answer, unless the things are worth a LOT more than we think.

FYI, Amos: we're switching to AARP Plan F and Cigna prescription plan in January. You had asked earlier.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 15 - 07:36 PM

BBW tells me she is practicing to go on stage as the most irritating woman ever. This is a brilliant idea, but she is far from qualiified. She is a good actor, though...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 15 - 10:41 AM

I am so proud of you taking care of business, Mister Booque. The amount of bureaucratic form-filling and paper-copying that one invites for the simplest move in such circles (insurance, medical, social security, and more) would choke a hippogriff. It's as if we really are trying to drown each other in significances. Sheesh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 15 - 10:06 AM

Okay, I have the annual, good old, wonderful, appointment with the insurance dude this afternoon. Gonna hit him up with what is probably a new one to him: How do Pat and I insure our books?

I have 1,914 cataloged and inventoried, she has 1,100. Using SLJ's average prices for 2015, I have a collection worth better than USD 39,000 and hers, being much more specialized is worth at least USD 31,000. Of course, not everything is cataloged and inventoried yet! And then there are her quilts -- the mid-18th Century one she just got has a center panel dyed with lapis lazuli (yes, that was done).

Then there's the fabr...fab...fa...f...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 15 - 04:46 PM

Burn the cookies? Take 'em to the library staff! Flat cake? The library staff will eat it.

Shucks, you could spread tar on pieces of cedar shingle, leave it in the break room, and the library staff would eat it. I shan't say where, but at one library a cataloger with cupcake on her breath disappeared after laying down the break room.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 15 - 12:31 PM

Leftover candy is not a problem when one works at a public institution like a library or a university. Leave a bowl of candy on the service desk and it goes away - usually quickly. Even the stuff no one likes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 15 - 12:05 AM

I frightened a dozen innocent children using the statue-comes-to-life routine. Even got a couple of screams. So many darn kids I ran plump out of candy and had to send BBW to the Rite Aid for more! Then the demand dried up so we're stuck with ten bucks worth of junk food in a bag.

Corporate America will be bloating on Monday. Isn't tradition wonderful?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 15 - 10:15 PM

I use some skunks. Scare the skunks and...well...we haven't had t-or-ters in a month of years, or at least since I learned of Rent-A-Skunk.

"Rent-A-Skunk -- Solving The Problem Of Unwanted Visitors Since Back A Ways."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Oct 15 - 02:29 PM

Nope. When it got down to 2 little kids and 30 teenagers, Mom decided Halloween was toast. She closes the front room curtains, doesn't put on the porch light and doesn't answer the door. Just ain't no small kids in Mom's neighbourhood anymore. Just old cranky curmudgeons. 'Cept fer Ches. He was the crankiest of all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 15 - 10:47 AM

Did MOM buy any candy to hand out to Trick or Treaters, or is she going to turn on the sprinklers and keep everyone away with a wall of water?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 15 - 09:51 PM

Yes, armed rebellion and overthrow is the only answer.

Amosh, I'f nefur ban dru..dunk..inevriatet en my lif.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 15 - 07:37 PM

MOM met my Zeke at the dog door recently. He showed her how you can open the real door beside the dog door insert, so she won't ever be locked out again. He uses a big chocolate lab nose and somehow turns it into a wedge that just pushes the door open. MOM will use her hands.

Today was a charming one, of small rebellions. Beginning a trend, I hope.

The woman in charge of my place of employment has created such an environment of unhappiness, tamping down ingenuity and initiative, that you have to do what you can when you can. Fingers crossed that she decides to leave - sooner rather than later.
.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 15 - 06:55 PM

That Mom is such a card. Ever since Rapp got drunk and called her a bitch she's been acting out by using the doggie door. What a riot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 15 - 10:25 AM

Okay, who locked the door last night? Mom's stuck in the doggy-door again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Oct 15 - 07:20 PM

17C! Got me windows wide open, baby! She some shockin good n fresh eh! I'll keep my bedroom windows open tonight as the wind will shift and the cloud cover will abate. Last night, the wind was 'just so' and the clouds were low so I had jets on lo-slo a lot... sounded like they were gonna land in my yard... VERYYYYY SLOWLYYYYY. Starts at about 2AM with FedEx.

Chester (Ches) died night before last. It's for the better. He was having a hard time... long stories. I'll miss the crusty old bugger. I will not miss his yappy little dog that used to yap for two hours straight from 6AM on and at other times of the day and also piss and crap on my mother's lawn for me to step in while mowing. RIP, Ches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 15 - 08:45 AM

I do that all the time. It's really very nice. The snow storms outside the library windows, but you are comfortably ensconced in your chair, the seat inviting and buttery-soft leather, the fire gently warming the room, the snifter of old and excellent brandy on the chairside table, your hand (when not turning pages) resting on the head of your faithful dog... and then the Kindle battery dies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 15 - 10:57 PM

Hey MOM, I think I'll turn off the computer and read a book. On paper. In a comfortable chair with a lamp beside me. Just for the novelty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 15 - 10:56 PM

Or as was once written (and is now only a fragment) about Amos:

Wrtlic is es wealstan, wyrde gebrcon;
burgstede burston, brosna enta geweorc.
Hrofas sind gehrorene, hreorge torras,
hrungeat berofen, hrim on lime,

scearde scurbeorge scorene, gedrorene,
ldo undereotone. Eorgrap hafa
waldend wyrhtan forweorone, geleorene,
heardgripe hrusan, o hund cnea
wereoda gewitan. Oft s wag gebad

rghar ond readfah rice fter orum,
ofstonden under stormum; steap geap gedreas.
Wona giet se ...num geheapen,
fel on
grimme gegrunden

scan heo...
...g oronc rsceaft
...g lamrindum beag
mod mo... ...yne swiftne gebrgd
hwtred in hringas, hygerof gebond

weallwalan wirum wundrum togdre.
Beorht wron burgrced, burnsele monige,
heah horngestreon, heresweg micel,
meodoheall monig dreama full,
ot t onwende wyrd seo swie.

Crungon walo wide, cwoman woldagas,
swylt eall fornom secgrofra wera;
wurdon hyra wigsteal westen staolas,
brosnade burgsteall. Betend crungon
hergas to hrusan. Foron as hofu dreorgia,

ond s teaforgeapa tigelum sceade
hrostbeages hrof. Hryre wong gecrong
gebrocen to beorgum, r iu beorn monig
gldmod ond goldbeorht gleoma gefrtwed,
wlonc ond wingal wighyrstum scan;

seah on sinc, on sylfor, on searogimmas,
on ead, on ht, on eorcanstan,
on as beorhtan burg bradan rices.
Stanhofu stodan, stream hate wearp
widan wylme; weal eall befeng

beorhtan bosme, r a bau wron,
hat on hrere. t ws hyelic.
Leton onne geotan
ofer harne stan hate streamas
un...

...t hringmere hate
r a bau wron.
onne is
...re; t is cynelic ing,
huse ...... burg....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 15 - 01:44 PM

It is certainly true that you arenothing if not ethical. Sadly, you are not ethical. But what's a lack of ethics among friends?

The Seafarer

May I of my own self                     1
Truth's song reckon,
Tell of my traverse,
How I oft endured
Days of hardship
Times of trouble,
Bitter the breast-care
That I suffered,
Known at my keel                         5
Many a care's hold,
Dread wave-fall
When wary night-watch
Found me often
There at the ship's stem,
Wave-tossed, by cliff-wall.
Cold-fettered
My feet
Frost-bound
In cold clasp,                                 10
Where cares seethed then
Hot at the heart;
Hunger within tore
The sea-weary soul.

This knows he not
Who on land
Lives lightly,
How I care-wretched
On ice-cold ocean
Weathered winter                           15
In ways of exile,
Bereft of my brethren,
Hung with ice-shards;
Hail showers flew.
There I heard naught
But sea roaring,
Ice-cold wave.
Whiles the swan's song
Had I for pleasure;                         20
Gannet's clamour,
Curlew's crying,
For men's laughter;
The mew's singing
For mead-drinking.

Or, in other words more suited to Mister R's high standards of purity and ethics:

        
Mg ic be me sylfum    sogied wrecan,
sias secgan,    hu ic geswincdagum
earfohwile    oft rowade,
bitre breostceare    gebiden hbbe,
gecunnad in ceole    cearselda fela,
atol ya gewealc,    r mec oft bigeat
nearo nihtwaco    t nacan stefnan,
onne he be clifum cnossa.    Calde gerungen
wron mine fet,    forste gebunden
caldum clommum,    r a ceare seofedun
hat ymb heortan;    hungor innan slat
        merewerges mod.    t se mon ne wat
e him on foldan    fgrost limpe,
hu ic earmcearig    iscealdne s
winter wunade    wrccan lastum,
        winemgum bidroren,   
bihongen hrimgicelum;    hgl scurum fleag.
r ic ne gehyrde    butan hlimman s,
iscaldne wg.    Hwilum ylfete song
        dyde ic me to gomene,    ganotes hleoor
ond huilpan sweg    fore hleahtor wera,
mw singende    fore medodrince.
Stormas r stanclifu beotan,   

And so say all of us!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 15 - 09:15 AM

She's maudlin drunk again. You should know that. Whenever she gets that way she rails about me changing the spelling of my name. I'm thinking about doing it again -- to "Amos'" -- pronounced "Amos Prime."
That way I can get Amos not-prime into trouble because nobody will notice the '.

But I won't. It wouldn't be ethical, and if I am anything it's ethical. I got ethics coming out my ears. My every action is ethical, my every thought is ethical. And I don't mean those wishy-washy situational ethics, I mean the old-fashioned kind, the ones that served Humanity so well all those centuries. Things like don't cannibalize your fellow man if there's a woman available and women and children first and do a good deed daily and stuff like that.

And that's why I won't change my name to Amos'. Even though it could be fun to write things like "Amos' thoughts are that we need a more authoritarian government." It would look like the possessive form of Amos. And that would be unethical (see above).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 15 - 12:29 AM

Evasion; rampant, slick-tongued evasion. So typical. What do you have to say, you rapscallion, about Mom;s laments concerning your noble self? Huh? That's what the world wants to know!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 15 - 10:44 PM

Higglety-pigglety, my black hen
She lays eggs in a relative when.
She doesn't lay eggs in a positive now,
Because she's unable to postulate how.
             --The Space Child's Mother Goose

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them.
But soon, face to face,
They'll meet in parallel space
Preceding their leaders behind them.
            --Ditto


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Oct 15 - 09:51 PM

Did you say "HI" for us?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 15 - 07:17 PM

Mom just called; she was sobbing and remonstrating, insisting that everyone had just abandoned her and she was forlorn and feckless, or something. I couldn't make it all out as she was sniffling and snorting a lot.

Something about telling Khandu to "get" Rapaire. I tried to tell her he doesn't even spell it that way any more, but she wasn't listening. Then she said she was going to get Chongo after him and that that would teach him a lesson for sure. Then she hung up, wailing and said she was going to drown her sorrows. Go figger.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 15 - 01:03 AM

Here we discover
That energy and solids
Act differently in the mind
And can each and differently persuade the Soul
To believe in the inevitability of matter, and space
And the ticking of ridiculous Time.

Angstrom Physique de Loi
Irrefutability and the Mind
Hebdomaire Press, Paris, 1967


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 15 - 11:28 PM

The first time I used a microwave oven was in 1978. They were quite the novelty, so I remember. I was out in Upstate New York, visiting a friend who grew up near me Out West. Putting a cup of water in the microwave to heat it to brew tea - it didn't take me any time at all to realize the water heated that way doesn't quite work right for tea, and if you stick a tea bag or spoon in, sometimes it can do a fast boil right out of the cup onto your hand or splash your face. They can do harm, but I've never heard of anyone being bludgeoned by one before.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 15 - 10:25 PM

Did you know that Trump's grandpa made his money in a restaurant/bar/brothel combination during the Klondike Rush? 'S true. He came out just before the gold played out with a bunch of cash, which eventually was used to finance Donnie's father's investment in NYC real estate to the Daddy could "loan" Don a million bucks to get started himself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Oct 15 - 10:04 PM

My nuke is only 600 watts but it's massive. I could cook a big turkey in it but I couldn't use it to pummel a big turkey. It's huge. Trump huge. And *that* is one big turkey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 15 - 09:08 PM

There are zombies
From Tashkent to Bombay
From London to Boise
Where they are quite noisy
Tho' they splash and they splish
Brains are their dish
Or so it is so
By those that don't know
That zombies will die
If just you or I
Knew that their fault
Is a small bit of salt
Tossed into their mouth
So they see the truth
That they are not dead
Like that old Astaire, Fred
Then they go for the bokor
And when he is done for
Like two tons of lead
The zombie falls dead.
       --Melody Couplet, 1807


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 15 - 12:51 PM

I'll be your lover, your friend, or your slave
If you promise not to beat me with a microwave.
And I'll help you move, if it's ot too far,
If you agree not to hit me with your Fender guitar.
All of this, I will do for you, and even more,
'Cuz after all we're friends, and that's what friends are for,
So I'll be here for you,to my very last breath
But friends do not beat each other to death.
So just keep your meth-head rage on the shelf
Or I'll be the one to say,
Go fuck yourself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 15 - 11:47 AM

Police say Perry beat Paquin with his hands, feet, an electric guitar and a microwave.

A man in Grants, NM used these to beat his friend to death because, as he told police, his friend was turning into a Zombie. I guess an acoustic guitar or a banjo wouldn't have worked. So keep these handy (especially your hands) in case you see someone turning into a zombie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 15 - 09:01 AM

A genuine ghost pepper or six in each jar!

Wasn't that Nixon's secretary, the one that wiped 12 minutes off the tapes? Mary Rose Okra?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Oct 15 - 03:36 PM

I pickled some okra this afternoon. If you're all good this year maybe you'll find a half-pint jar in your stockings at xmas. MOM loves the stuff so you'll need to rise early to beat her to your stockings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 15 - 11:19 AM

That was one smart amoral deppidy, Mister R.

A


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