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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 22 Dec 07 - 11:45 AM
Amos 22 Dec 07 - 09:44 AM
Acme 22 Dec 07 - 03:25 AM
Amos 21 Dec 07 - 11:36 PM
Janie 21 Dec 07 - 11:20 PM
Acme 21 Dec 07 - 10:24 PM
Acme 21 Dec 07 - 10:19 PM
Janie 21 Dec 07 - 06:53 PM
Amos 21 Dec 07 - 04:10 PM
Amos 21 Dec 07 - 03:57 PM
MMario 21 Dec 07 - 12:26 PM
MMario 21 Dec 07 - 12:22 PM
Amos 21 Dec 07 - 12:20 PM
GUEST,Janie 21 Dec 07 - 12:16 PM
MMario 21 Dec 07 - 09:32 AM
Amos 21 Dec 07 - 09:29 AM
Amos 21 Dec 07 - 07:43 AM
Janie 21 Dec 07 - 12:36 AM
Janie 21 Dec 07 - 12:34 AM
Janie 21 Dec 07 - 12:33 AM
Janie 21 Dec 07 - 12:32 AM
Janie 21 Dec 07 - 12:31 AM
Janie 21 Dec 07 - 12:29 AM
Janie 21 Dec 07 - 12:29 AM
Janie 21 Dec 07 - 12:28 AM
Amos 20 Dec 07 - 10:02 PM
Acme 20 Dec 07 - 08:36 PM
Amos 20 Dec 07 - 08:09 PM
MMario 20 Dec 07 - 04:18 PM
Amos 20 Dec 07 - 04:08 PM
MMario 20 Dec 07 - 10:35 AM
Acme 20 Dec 07 - 10:32 AM
Amos 20 Dec 07 - 09:57 AM
Rapparee 20 Dec 07 - 08:19 AM
Amos 20 Dec 07 - 12:40 AM
Acme 19 Dec 07 - 11:23 PM
Acme 19 Dec 07 - 11:21 PM
Amos 19 Dec 07 - 10:46 PM
Amos 19 Dec 07 - 08:39 PM
Amos 19 Dec 07 - 07:05 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 07 - 06:11 PM
Amos 19 Dec 07 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 07 - 05:01 PM
Amos 19 Dec 07 - 04:55 PM
MMario 19 Dec 07 - 03:29 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 07 - 03:28 PM
MMario 19 Dec 07 - 03:11 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 07 - 03:01 PM
Amos 19 Dec 07 - 02:50 PM
Amos 19 Dec 07 - 01:46 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 11:45 AM

But I kinda do not believe him. He'll say anything!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 09:44 AM

Steven Colbert asserts his nipples spell G.O.P.


Adding that he had the third one surgically impanted, for the O.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 03:25 AM

Kinda reminds you of your favorite Golden Globes, eh? (At least, it would, if women typically had three!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 11:36 PM

Congratulations, Ms. Sage, on such a round, well-balanced, firmly-packed number!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 11:20 PM

LOL!

Kendall brought down the house at the Getaway concert one year with his rendition of this one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 10:24 PM

Wow! That last post was

21212

Nice! I wonder, will it spin?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 10:19 PM

Here's a fellow I remember from my childhood:

Stan Boreson. Look out. This Scandihoovian humor is pretty risque.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 06:53 PM

Were I not a person of such stellar character and remarkable integrity,
this post would read....


(Blush), I knew that.


The math book was a yellow soft cover. The year was 1961. The grade was 6th. The word was binary.

See? I don't clutter my mind with information that doesn't matter. I focus on remembering the really relevant stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 04:10 PM

TWO ONE TWO ONE OH!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 03:57 PM

Certainly, my friend. Janie, I am sorry. MM was speaking binary and I failed to recognize it. It was Advanced Binary, which I never studied. It's only slightly similar to Base 2.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:26 PM

awww - C'mon Amos!

Leave janie to my fantasies...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:22 PM

you should seem me factor my binomials - some time.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:20 PM

(Ummm.....Janie....that's not binary. Base 2 at best.)

Besides, your twang is much nicer than MM's binary. ;>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Janie
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:16 PM

Oh Mario,

I just love it when you talk binary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 09:32 AM

thee are a few "cute" ones coming up -

but I'm waiting for 21212


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 09:29 AM

That, by the way, was post

2 1 2 0 2

, a particularly charming conflating of integers.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 07:43 AM

Thanks for all that heavy lifting, Janie, youse is a gem.

I love the way you talk.


Have a sweet weekend, ya hear?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:36 AM

errr, in terms OF infinity.

Ain't nuttin' chidrens.

Ain't nuttin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:34 AM

Burma Shave.

(Sorry, MOM, but is 22,000 in terms of infinity.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:33 AM

ain't no more than hill 'o beans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:32 AM

Yet, in the whole scheme of things


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:31 AM

dirty ovens, untrimmed bangs


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:29 AM

Leakin' roofs and money pains


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:29 AM

Workplace woes and lots of dread


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:28 AM

Ain't got time to catch up with this thread


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 10:02 PM

Good ya dodged the bullet, Still -- it's a social minefield out there!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 08:36 PM

Almost did a horrible faux pas with one of those loaves. I took two to work, but as I spoke with one co-worker I realized that those spiked raisins simply wouldn't do--the other friend is Muslim. I asked him about his views on alcohol, then told him about that ingredient. I'll see about taking in another type of bread tomorrow. I'm glad I realized that mistake when I did.

Long day out with my youngest, shopping. Didn't buy much, but talked over the pros and cons of several possible purchases.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 08:09 PM

Just think...in nine more posts we will have a whole 'nother century of posts under our belt.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 04:18 PM

I think Stilly shared a few raisens with Mom and then Mom relazxed and enjoyed the peace and quiet of Rapaire not bugging her every few seconds.

he is *so* needy.

Not that Mom doesn't love him, but. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 04:08 PM

I hate it when a perfectly friendly but sorta tangential post gets left twisting int he wind with no support. Lime MM suggesting that Stilly should pop some rasins. Perfectly kind impulse, a decent thing to say. But when it is the last post in a long silence it sort of echoes down through the valleys.

Pop a few raisins, Stilly....."

Pop a few raisins, Stilly.......

Pop a few..raisins...Stilly....

Pop a few raisins, Stilly....


While the silent desert breezes blow the weeds around.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 10:35 AM

pop a few raisens Stilly - you deserve to reax after all that hot work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 10:32 AM

Mom, I've been slaving over a hot oven this morning, making a double batch of my popular pumpkin bread. This time I had about a half-cup extra pumpkin so I tossed it in. "If a little is good, more is better" does work in this kind of cooking. I also soaked the raisins in brandy for several days so they're particularly flavorful, and put in half-again as many raisins and walnuts as the recipe calls for. I'll take a couple to work to curry favor with co-workers and pop the rest in the freezer as handy bricks loaves to give as forgotten impromptu gifts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 09:57 AM

You braggart! The statistics, sirrah, do not support your brown-nosed sycophancy.

Have a nice trip to the Dark Side...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 08:19 AM

Dear Mom,

Again they left you fall and again I have rescued you from A Fate Almost Worse Than Death. But I can't stay because I have to fly to DC. That George and Laura! they're have "problems" again: George is drinking and messing around with That Other Woman and Laura has moved into a small apartment in the Library of Congress so she can be away from George and closer to Henry Reid, her current heart-throb. Sigh. Anyway, I'll let you know how things are as soon as possible...maybe tonight, most likely tomorrow.

Try to keep Amos sober. Maybe standing outside the tavern, begging him to come home, will work (but I doubt it).

Your fave rave,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 12:40 AM

Oh -- the Lamb of God is a BAND!!? Wow!! What a great name for a band! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 11:23 PM

Here's a CNN blurb that covers it pretty well also.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 11:21 PM

Go away for a little while and see what pops up! Here is an NPR story about the Mormon/Jewish problem.

The jacket is not "pro-" it is decidedly "anti," and I'd be willing to bet this woman did know which way that band leans. I received a card from a fellow I met for the first time a couple of weeks ago at a library meeting. I'd taken photos of people attending and he emailed to ask for a copy. I sent it, and this week received a card that he'd offered my name up for a month of prayers on my behalf at a Carmelite monastery or something or other. Rather presumptuous--did he assume because my name is Irish that I'm Catholic? I wasn't impressed.

I know a lot of people who take their religion very seriously, and that's not a problem. It's those who don't realize that all religions are important and they shouldn't be trying to legislatively impose what they think is their "one true religion" on everyone else, in the process supressing the beliefs of others. Keep religion out of government and schools and secular society; keep it private and in the appropriate buildings or venues.

Off my soap box.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 10:46 PM

I actually have a friend whose boss was a reg'lar at their Mormon group sessions. Scores of volunteers standing in as proxies every week to stand in for countless long-gone pople. It is a mad, mad, mad business, I tell ya.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 08:39 PM

From "The Spoof", an Onion wannabe:

"WASHINGTON, DC -- Rabbi Jacob Baer stood before his congregation at Temple Sinai on Military Road yesterday morning, poised to perform a ritual that he had perfected just hours before. On a long table before him were a silver bowl, a small dark blue bottle, a lighted candle, a lockbox, and a blow dryer.

The Rabbi poured an ounce of Christian Holy Water from the bottle into the bowl. He removed from the lockbox a parchment scroll bearing a list of Jewish names and ignited it over the candle. When the scroll was entirely consumed, Baer sprinkled the ashes into the bowl, then pointed the blow dryer at it and turned the dial to full blast. Within 10 minutes, the water had evaporated.

Rabbi Baer had just performed what religion scholars believe to be the first "Reverse Baptism" in history.

"The article in yesterday's Washington Post was the last straw. I could not let this stand," he told reporters, who had been invited to witness the rite."...


(Onion wannabes are not to be confused with Wahabi rutabagas, BTW....)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 07:05 PM

Very god idea. Have you thought of filing a provisional patent application for this? Weapoms of Mass Conversion, very innovative.

Wodda buncha malarkey, really, though. Sigh....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 06:11 PM

Why not just use a playground and merry-go-round?

But most of the proxies are students at BYU, and since they don't drink, smoke or mess around there isn't much left for them to remember of their college days.

...The Baptismal pool,
The proxy names,
The year we lost to Notre Dame,
We'll have these moments to remember....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 05:56 PM

Nope, you're not answering the question. If they use proxies, and there are millions of nameless European Jews to be caught up, maybe they should just get one very robust proxy, stand him up on a dredly, and spin him around with a garden hose or something.


Kinda like a prayer wheel.

But I think it is an awful lot of trouble to go to to placate some imaginary super-hero.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 05:01 PM

A baptismal pool.

Me, I'd use a fire hose. Stand 'em all out in a bunch and turn on the water. MUCH more efficient.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 04:55 PM

Yeah, Rapaire, but you're talking about sedrial proxy-driven baptisms and such.

Stilly was talking about the Mormons baptizing "The Jews of Europe", which has gotta be a pretty big number, in the billions.

So, what do the Mormons use as devices of Mass Spiritual Normalization?




a


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 03:29 PM

Given how rar3e conspicules are becoming, I'm sure you are right


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 03:28 PM

I think that there's way too much conspicuous consummation in our society.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 03:11 PM

People pay to much for consumation anyway - why I was in a restauraunt the other day and they had beef consumation on the menu for $7.50 a cup. Heck - a buillion cube will do a pretty good job of producing what they were serving for about a couple of cents.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 03:01 PM

Well, say I'm baptizing you 'cause you're defunct. I stand in the water in my baptizin' clothes and say, "I am Amos, the All-Powerful!" Then the man dunks me (because I'm really you) and you are now baptized. I fetch up outa the pool and a young lady in baptizin' clothes enters it and says, "I am Mata Hari!" and she gets dunked. After she leaves the pool I go back in and say, "I'm MMario, the Obscure and Defunct!" and get dunked.

And this goes on and on and on.

The marryin' up is sort of the same, only a man and a woman (no exceptions!) play the parts of the bride and groom and do the vows and all. But no consummatin' allowed!

And the folks you're representin' gotta be DEAD.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 02:50 PM

---------NOT-----
This does^ sound like a Good Plan to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 01:46 PM

So -- let me see if I have this right. An invested elder, I suppose, conducts a baptising ceremony using some sort of symbolic objects which by his decree represent the souls of millions of unbaptized Jews and pre-Columbian Mayans and Gawd knows what-all, and by twirling and invoking, exactly thus and so with correct pomp and ceremony, he thus raises them all, by their millions, to a State of Tolerance in the Eyes of the Lord? Is that roughly what we are talking about?

As to the marryin' part, Rapaire, I'll have to take yer word for it. But I think even an Idahoian would agree that most redblooded men are not going to stand still for marrying up with no prospect of consummation, given that that is the one thing most of them are even standing still for in the first place. This does sound like a Good Plan to me.


A


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