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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Janie 26 Aug 07 - 12:37 AM
Acme 26 Aug 07 - 12:25 AM
Amos 26 Aug 07 - 12:24 AM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 07 - 11:39 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 07 - 10:00 PM
Janie 25 Aug 07 - 09:59 PM
Amos 25 Aug 07 - 09:23 PM
Amos 25 Aug 07 - 09:20 PM
Amos 25 Aug 07 - 09:19 PM
Amos 25 Aug 07 - 09:14 PM
Janie 25 Aug 07 - 09:10 PM
Acme 25 Aug 07 - 07:25 PM
Amos 25 Aug 07 - 07:15 PM
Janie 25 Aug 07 - 06:13 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 07 - 05:59 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 07 - 05:58 PM
Janie 25 Aug 07 - 05:31 PM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 07 - 04:46 PM
Amos 25 Aug 07 - 04:38 PM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 07 - 04:24 PM
Janie 25 Aug 07 - 03:56 PM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 07 - 03:38 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 07 - 03:03 PM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 07 - 02:01 PM
Amos 25 Aug 07 - 01:58 PM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 07 - 01:18 PM
Acme 25 Aug 07 - 01:14 PM
Amos 25 Aug 07 - 11:50 AM
Amos 25 Aug 07 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 25 Aug 07 - 11:01 AM
Acme 25 Aug 07 - 02:00 AM
Amos 25 Aug 07 - 01:32 AM
Amos 24 Aug 07 - 10:42 PM
GUEST,Same guy, no cookie yet 24 Aug 07 - 08:40 PM
GUEST,Rapaire, momentarily cookieless 24 Aug 07 - 08:34 PM
Amos 24 Aug 07 - 07:23 PM
Amos 24 Aug 07 - 07:19 PM
Acme 24 Aug 07 - 06:22 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 07 - 05:34 PM
MMario 24 Aug 07 - 04:22 PM
Amos 24 Aug 07 - 04:04 PM
Amos 24 Aug 07 - 03:51 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 07 - 02:05 PM
Amos 24 Aug 07 - 01:09 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 07 - 12:55 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 07 - 12:46 PM
Amos 24 Aug 07 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 24 Aug 07 - 09:16 AM
Acme 24 Aug 07 - 02:51 AM
Amos 23 Aug 07 - 11:54 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Aug 07 - 12:37 AM

LH,

Do you take bad checks?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Aug 07 - 12:25 AM

QE -> QE2


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 07 - 12:24 AM

Well, let me know how it turns out, Rapaire. I guess he's spotting you a move, at least....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 11:39 PM

Speaking of salve for suffering egos....I have some for sale here. Yup, I have a whole crate of Alfonso's Suffering Ego Salve, copyrighted in 1905. You "can't hardly" find that stuff anymore, you know. It's worth its weight in...well...all kinds of valuable stuff. Really valuable stuff.

I was thinking of selling it on Ebay and making BIG BUCKS, but I'm going to give you people first shot at it.

$25 a tin. That's a good deal! PM me while it lasts!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 10:00 PM

QP->QP3.

Death comes on swift wings, Amos, and strikes when you least expect it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 09:59 PM

fun with genetic codes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 09:23 PM

The thing is that stupid line of Rapaire's is probably just a chess move, not an expression from organic chemistry or thermodynamic traversals.

"Big Orange said...
BTW, "Victory is mine!" is the absolute FIRST thing I cry out when I make my first move in chess: KP-KP4 "VICTORY IS MINE!"

Rattles up the competition."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 09:20 PM

Damn. I posted in Mandarin, not question marks.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 09:19 PM

l??????????????????r ??'?-?· _ -????? ...

?KK -KK~??????KP--KP4????????*???????????????L1? ????????? Amy Semple Mcpherson ???????D-?D|???????E1'??????? ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 09:14 PM

Notes: Human pancreatic ductal cell carcinoma cell line, which can secrete parathyroid hormone-related peptide (PTHrP), designated as KP 4, and its daughter cell lines with different PTHrP-secreting activities, termed KP 4-1 and KP 4-2, have been established in tissue culture. KP 4 cells were able to form tumors in nude mice. The absolute production rate of PTHrP in KP 4-1 was 5 to 10 times higher than that in KP 4-2. Similarily, the level of PTHrP mRNA in KP 4-1 was significantly higher than that in KP 4-2. KP 4-2 cells exhibited more rapid growth than KP 4 and KP 4-1 in vitro.

Now ask Rapaire to explain why he is playing with nude mice.

It's a disgrace, if you ask me.

If you don't ask me, it is probably perfectly logical.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 09:10 PM

Actually, it might be pretty entertaining to observe Rapaire channel Shirley Temple Black. Or not.

And Rapaire, it is still very painful to reminded of the death of our young cousin. Your mention of it has stirred up so much emotion that I may have to drive to Durham tomorrow morning between 11 and 12, and key the paint jobs on a few of the Lexus' and Mercedes parked in the lot outside of Duke Chapel.

If apprehended by Campus Police, I will simply assert the (Duke Blue) Devil made me do it.

Or, I dunno. Maybe I'll make my son go with me. If caught, I'll blame him. That 'll lairn 'im.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 07:25 PM

I come back after running a few errands and see that the numbers have been just flying off of the shelf! And whatever happened to the Amy Semple McPherson part of the story?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 07:15 PM

Never mind janie. It's just Rapaire. He believes in Manifesting his Superiority Through Obscure Hieroglyphs as a sort of salve to his suffering ego.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 06:13 PM

Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 05:59 PM

KP -> KP4.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 05:58 PM

I once knew a Carolina guy who hadn't ever been in jail AND he wasn't a drunkard.

Of course, he'd died at the age of 3.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 05:31 PM

Humph! Artificial? Artificial, you say? Do you really mean to imply I should stop washing my son's mouth out with soap when he cheers for Duke over Carolina?

Well, I never...!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 04:46 PM

Yep. ;-) We love it. Even war is a gigantic game of a similar sort...but one with extremely destructive rules of play.

There have been many societies for whom war was THE most popular game going.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 04:38 PM

Unfortunately, our species has built in circuits somewhere that makes sickers of us for exactly that sort of synthetic experience.

Anything for a game, eh?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 04:24 PM

Well, it's kind of like football, Janie. What I mean is, it's sort of arbitrary. It works like this: you invent a couple of teams, give them names and players, and send them out onto a field to knock hell out of each other. You teach half the people in the area to cheer for one team, and half to cheer for the other. Everybody starts to think something real is at stake...and that's when the trouble begins.

Artificial division. ;-)

The object of the game? To keep people entertained and to make money for those few who are in charge of the game.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 03:56 PM

LH,

How you can look at any map of our recent elections and say divisions in the US are artificial is beyond me. Red and blue, after all, are both primary colors.

J


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 03:38 PM

Ah...I thought it might be something like that.

Regarding the artificial division of the USA, Rapaire, I think that happened between 1861 and 1865.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 03:03 PM

To be more precise, he learned the northern dialect and accent of the Vietnamese language. You are quite correct, LH, that Vietnam was and is one country, artifically divided as Korea is and Germany was. The US should also be included, I suppose, as we are artifically divided from our Northern states, such as Ontario and Labrador and Alberta. After we reunite with with them we will, of course, have to embark upon a massive campaign to teach our long-separated citizens to speak and spell correctly, of course.

My brother used the example of the P and Q Celtic languages to explain the difference between the dialects of North and South Vietnam and the way he explained it makes sense. You should be able to work it out for yourself from there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 02:01 PM

I am descended from a very odd lot of people. But then, most people are fairly odd when you get to know them well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 01:58 PM

Well, if you aren't a cunning linguist, you are probably descended from one...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 01:18 PM

A "North Vietnamese linguist"??? Vietnam is one country, and always has been except during the approximately 20 year period in which the USA starting screwing around in there (following the ejection of the French colonial government). The people in the north end of it speak the same language as the people in the south end, don't they?

What did he do, preface every statement by holding up a sign with a red star on it? ;-)

Here is a link that tells you all about the Vietnamese language:

Can you say..."Doung Ngoung Minh"?

Just thought I'd do that to save Amos the trouble...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 01:14 PM

That'll be exciting!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 11:50 AM

Actually, I meant Aimee Semple McPherson (1890-1944) . Sorry.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 11:46 AM

I don't understand why the Air Force took away his tee shirt. But I have never understood the Air Force. And, typical human, I therefore suspect that no-one has ever really understood it.

I am pleased too hear you are changing channels, Rapaire. I suggest you tune in to Madame Blavatski, or perhaps Shirley Temple Black.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 11:01 AM

My brother, who was a North Vietnamese linguist for the USAF, had a tee shirt that said "I am a cunning linguist." The Air Farce made him leave it in Okinawa.

Amos, you will be pleased to know that I am undergoing treatment to stop channeling Karl Rove.

You only THINK he's still alive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 02:00 AM

You two guys, you're such cunning linguists!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 01:32 AM

Goodnight sweet Mother,
Life is a parting sorrow,
And days a sorrow's parting in their night.
So rest in peace, and send fine dream-days to your heart,
And come tomorrow, may you be aloft, and bright.
High in the ranks, above all silly sorrow
Another round of pure BS to start.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 10:42 PM

I am sure the actual Master we know and love as Rapaire will soon return and set us aright as regards your self-serving conceits. Until then, he has my thanks for harassing mybroads. I mean, broadening my harassments. Hell, whatEver....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Same guy, no cookie yet
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 08:40 PM

And I have a graduate degree in fishing. Indeed, I am a Master Baiter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire, momentarily cookieless
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 08:34 PM

And I wish everyone to note: today I found a work by Mark Twain that Amos had NOT yet read! In truth, he probably didn't even know it existed!

A truly notable day in fact and in deed when I can use my bibliographic education to guide and educate others!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 07:23 PM

Ha!! I have found the piece and absorbed its delicate instruction, and am well satisfied.

You are a libertine of merit, Sir R, and a librarian of inestimable self-exposure.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 07:19 PM

There, sir, I confess you have me at a disadvantage; but that is good and well, since that is what a librarian by rights ought to be able to do -- find something somewhere that any reader has yet to read, and make him soundly wrong for it. But I am on my way to find it even now.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 06:22 PM

He's got a little list

Of Twain works, that is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 05:34 PM

Or his Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism, a speech delivered in 1879?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 04:22 PM

I miss those guys!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 04:04 PM


In ye heat of ye talk it befel yt one did breake wind, yielding an
exceding mightie and distresfull stink, whereat all did laugh full sore,and then--

Ye Queene.--Verily in mine eight and sixty yeres have I not heard the
fellow to this fart. Meseemeth, by ye grete sound and clamour of it, it was male; yet ye belly it did lurk behinde shoulde now fall lean and flat against ye spine of him yt hath bene delivered of so stately and so waste a bulk, where as ye guts of them yt doe quiff-splitters bear, stand comely still and rounde. Prithee let ye author confess ye offspring. Will my Lady Alice testify?

Lady Alice.--Good your grace, an' I had room for such a thundergust
within mine ancient bowels, 'tis not in reason I coulde discharge ye same and live to thank God for yt He did choose handmaid so humble whereby to shew his power. Nay, 'tis not I yt have broughte forth this rich o'ermastering fog, this fragrant gloom, so pray you seeke ye further.

Ye Queene.--Mayhap ye Lady Margery hath done ye companie this favor?

Lady Margery.--So please you madam, my limbs are feeble wh ye weighte and drouth of five and sixty winters, and it behoveth yt I be tender unto them. In ye good providence of God, an' I had contained this wonder, forsoothe wolde I have gi'en 'ye whole evening of my sinking life to ye dribbling of it forth, with trembling and uneasy soul, not launched it sudden in its matchless might, taking mine own life with violence, rending my weak frame like rotten rags. It was not I, your maisty.

Ye Queene.--O' God's name, who hath favored us? Hath it come to pass yt a fart shall fart itself? Not such a one as this, I trow. Young Master Beaumont--but no; 'twould have wafted him to heaven like down of goose's boddy. 'Twas not ye little Lady Helen--nay, ne'er blush, my child; thoul't tickle thy tender maidenhedde with many a mousie-squeak before thou learnest to blow a harricane like this. Wasn't you, my learned and ingenious Jonson?

Jonson.--So fell a blast hath ne'er mine ears saluted, nor yet a stench so all-pervading and immortal. 'Twas not a novice did it, good your maisty, but one of veteran experience--else hadde he failed of confidence. In sooth it was not I.

Ye Queene.--My lord Bacon?

Lord Bacon.-Not from my leane entrailes hath this prodigy burst forth, so please your grace. Naught doth so befit ye grete as grete performance; and haply shall ye finde yt 'tis not from mediocrity this miracle hath issued.

[Tho' ye subjoct be but a fart, yet will this tedious sink of learning
pondrously phillosophize. Meantime did the foul and deadly stink pervade all places to that degree, yt never smelt I ye like, yet dare I not to leave ye presence, albeit I was like to suffocate.]

Ye Queene.--What saith ye worshipful Master Shaxpur?

Shaxpur.--In the great hand of God I stand and so proclaim mine
innocence. Though ye sinless hosts of heaven had foretold ye coming of this most desolating breath, proclaiming it a work of uninspired man, its quaking thunders, its firmament-clogging rottenness his own achievement in due course of nature, yet had not I believed it; but had said the pit itself hath furnished forth the stink, and heaven's artillery hath shook the globe in admiration of it.

[Then was there a silence, and each did turn him toward the worshipful
Sr Walter Ralegh, that browned, embattled, bloody swashbuckler, who
rising up did smile, and simpering say,]

Sr W.--Most gracious maisty, 'twas I that did it, but indeed it was so
poor and frail a note, compared with such as I am wont to furnish, yt in sooth I was ashamed to call the weakling mine in so august a presence. It was nothing--less than nothing, madam--I did it but to clear my nether throat; but had I come prepared, then had I delivered something worthy.

Bear with me, please your grace, till I can make amends.

[Then delivered he himself of such a godless and rock-shivering blast
that all were fain to stop their ears, and following it did come so dense and foul a stink that that which went before did seem a poor and trifling thing beside it. Then saith he, feigning that he blushed and was confused, I perceive that I am weak to-day, and cannot justice do unto my powers; and sat him down as who should say, There, it is not much yet he that hath an arse to spare, let him fellow that, an' he think he can.



I had forgotten how...rich ...and well-formed the work was, and thank you for the remindment.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 03:51 PM

Sir,

I have indeed read it, with the high focus and salacious intensity that only a teenage boy (which I have been for over thirty years now) can bring to a book.

Here are some interesting notes on how the noble work reached the light of print.


Enjoy.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 02:05 PM

Mister Amos, have you read 1601?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 01:09 PM

Mister Hawk:

I have read it; as to your generosity of Spirit, I have no doubt it surpasseth all understanding.

The spectacle of that solitary girl, forlorn and friendless, without advocate or adviser, and without the help and guidance of any copy of the charges brought against her or rescript of the complex and voluminous daily proceedings of the court to modify the crushing strain upon her astonishing memory, fighting that long battle serene and undismayed against these colossal odds, stands alone in its pathos and its sublimity; it has nowhere its mate, either in the annals of fact or in the inventions of fiction.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 12:55 PM

Amos, have you read Mr Twain's book "Joan of Arc"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 12:46 PM

You have no idea how generous of spirit I am, Amos. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 11:49 AM

"Hey m-m-ister, I wa-wa-wasn't mi-mi-mimicking ya-ya-ya-you! I wa-wa-was mi-mi-mi-mimicking hu-hu-hu-HIM!"


This is the punch line to an old joke I don't have time to write out. I'l let you reconstruct it.

I revere ole Sam Clemens, Mistuh Rapaire. I was raised a few miles from his last home, in Redding, and have read everything he wrote I could get my hands on.

I lik e him better even than Robert HEinlein, and that's saying something.

So calm thy savage breast, or whatever you call that thing.


A


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 09:16 AM

Amos, are you bad-mouthin' and dissin' my old buddy Sam Clemens???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 02:51 AM

The one that works best for me is

Eschew surplusage. It is an excellent solution when one is afflicted with diarrhea of the mouth (or pen).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 11:54 PM

Well, Hack's honor has already been badly dissed in this neck of the woods, anyway. But I must say, i is mighty big of him to forgive Mister Clemens so readily. Mighty kind. Generous, too. I mean, him being a Canadian, while Mister Clemens was one of those Yankee galoots. And similarly, him being modest and known to the few, while Mister Clemens had gone around exciting the admiration of so many, in the crudest Yankee fashion. And him being a sorta hand-to-mouth day-trader of used objects, and Mister Clemens spurning such robust labour and making and losing several fortunes by the craft of his mind and pen, and all. Seems Mister Hack has really stretched the hand of forgiveness out there quite aways, yessiree-bob. Mighty big of him.


A


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