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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 22 Aug 07 - 01:07 PM
beardedbruce 22 Aug 07 - 01:05 PM
MMario 22 Aug 07 - 01:02 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:57 PM
Amos 22 Aug 07 - 12:52 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:49 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:48 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:48 PM
MMario 22 Aug 07 - 12:48 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:47 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:46 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:46 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:43 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:42 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:41 PM
MMario 22 Aug 07 - 12:39 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 07 - 12:38 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:37 PM
rumanci 22 Aug 07 - 12:35 PM
MMario 22 Aug 07 - 12:12 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 07 - 12:05 PM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 11:43 AM
MMario 22 Aug 07 - 11:38 AM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 07 - 11:35 AM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 11:20 AM
Rapparee 22 Aug 07 - 09:38 AM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:36 AM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 07 - 12:23 AM
JennyO 22 Aug 07 - 12:13 AM
Janie 22 Aug 07 - 12:01 AM
Acme 21 Aug 07 - 11:07 PM
Amos 21 Aug 07 - 11:03 PM
Janie 21 Aug 07 - 10:56 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 07 - 10:25 PM
Janie 21 Aug 07 - 10:21 PM
Amos 21 Aug 07 - 10:17 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 07 - 09:50 PM
Little Hawk 21 Aug 07 - 08:22 PM
Amos 21 Aug 07 - 07:20 PM
Little Hawk 21 Aug 07 - 06:26 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 07 - 06:16 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 07 - 06:16 PM
Amos 21 Aug 07 - 06:11 PM
Little Hawk 21 Aug 07 - 06:07 PM
Amos 21 Aug 07 - 05:57 PM
Little Hawk 21 Aug 07 - 05:23 PM
Amos 21 Aug 07 - 05:07 PM
Little Hawk 21 Aug 07 - 04:51 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 07 - 03:34 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 01:07 PM

oh - she's number 7; I think.....lemme count

Dierdre has one
Richard has two
Jake has one
Gaby has three

so far all girls. All of them. No boys.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 01:05 PM

Congrats, MMario- you may now join the ranks of us gruncles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 01:02 PM

MOM!

You are a great-great something or other!

Lesseee- if you are my MOM and my niece spawns - but she isn't related to you ....

anyway
Jordana was born by C-section this morning and her Daddy called to tell me at 12:47!

she weighed 6 lbs and was 20 inches long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:57 PM

Thanks Amos. I'm inspired by your words. In fact I have had very little to do with Freud. I have had some experience of Jungian methods though, and there's some good stuff there.

The same theme seems to be coming up a lot, so there is something I obviously need to pay attention to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:52 PM

Never mind Freud. He's counter-productive. Go Jungian. And find the archetype -- and trash the bugger. Losing space is a common thread in human fears and woes. But, conversely, claiming the right to generate space at will is a good rememdy. Make some new space and pass it around. I reckon you have an unlimited supply!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:49 PM

Pretty, innit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:48 PM

***PINWHEEL NUMBER 19061***


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:48 PM

Then I had a dream that I was looking after a baby which was floating on its back in a large public pool. It was gurgling and happy but I was aware that I had to watch it constantly to make sure it didn't drown.

The first time I looked back at it, it was still happy and floating, then I saw it sink to the bottom, and I was trying to get somebody to dive in and rescue it, but nobody seemed in much of a hurry, so I dived in and scooped it up, and it was okay. Strange, because in real life I wouldn't be waiting for somebody else to dive in - I'd be doing it myself instantly.

I think Freud would have a field day with me :-I


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:48 PM

(to the tune of 'Fathom the Bowl')

To the Looking-Glass world it was Alice that said
"I've a sceptre in hand, I've a crown on my head.
Let the Looking-Glass creatures, whatever they be
Come dine with the Red Queen, the White Queen and Me!"

The White Queen and me!
The White Queen and me!
Come dine with the Red Queen, the white Queen and me!


Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can,
And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran:
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea--
And welcome Queen Alice with thirty-times-three!


with Thirty times three
With thirty times three
And Welcome Queen Alice with Thirty times three!



"O Looking-Glass creatures," quoth Alice, "draw near!
'Tis an honour to see me, a favour to hear:
'Tis a privilege high to have dinner and tea
Along with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and Me!"

The White Queen and me!
The White Queen and me!
Along with the Red Queen, the white Queen and me!



Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink,
Or anything else that is pleasant to drink:
Mix sand with the cider, and wool with the wine--
And welcome Queen Alice with ninety-times-nine!

with Ninety times nine!
With Ninety times Nine!
And Welcome Queen Alice with Ninety times nine!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:47 PM

The third dream was also about a house. Again, I wasn't living in this place any more, but for some reason I was going to live with my ex in-laws and all their relatives and children in another house. We were all moving in, and they were dumping stuff everywhere and making it quite chaotic and messy. Kids were running around all over the place, and the rels also seemed to be getting ready to have a kids birthday party. It was pretty much the way it would be with that lot - nice people, but not something I'd want to be around all the time!

I asked someone where my room was going to be, and they said "Oh you don't have a room. You'll have to put a bed down in the dining room every night". I was just saying "But I have to have my own space somewhere!" and wondering why I had left this place, when I woke up.

The whole thing has put me on edge all day. As I said, I'm sure Freud would have plenty to say I'm sure. Maybe we should invite Autolycus in. He seems to be in that line of work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:46 PM

The first one was about my house - well in the dream it wasn't my house any more because I had moved out. That was disturbing for a start because, although my house is rather old and a bit rough around the edges, and I'm only renting, it has a big yard and gardens where I grow my vegetables, and I love it. I would hate to have to leave, but it is always a possibility when you are renting. There haven't been any threats of that lately, but for some reason I dreamed that I had to move out.

In the dream I was looking at the place from out in the street, and it had been renovated with huge white walls all around it so that you could hardly see the house, and when I managed to peek at the house, it had the white walls too. I don't particularly hate white walls, but it just looked so cold and uninviting, and so unlike the house I know.

The new owners had also bulldozed the yard and got rid of the Christmas Bush and the frangipani and lemon tree I planted. It felt very sad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:46 PM

About those dreams - I figure if I talk about them they will lose their power a bit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:43 PM

Actually though, it's been a strange day. I slept late - still catching up from last weekend - and I had this series of rather unpleasant dreams before I woke up - the kind that are rather unsettling and go on affecting your mood for the rest of the day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:42 PM

Give or take a few.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:41 PM

I imagine you might be right about that MMario.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:39 PM

ten. or so I imagine. right Jenny?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:38 PM

Chongo was an orphan long before this thread ever existed. His family got wiped out way back in the 1920's over in Rwanda or somewhere around there, and he was the lone survivor, taken into captivity. From there he learned English (sort of), took on odd jobs in the local area working for the colonial shipping lines, and eventually got on a boat to New York City. The rest is history.

He drinks banana dacquiris now and then for the banana taste (and the image), but his favorite drink by far is scotch on the rocks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:37 PM

ello umanci - ice o ee ou gain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:35 PM

and OY Rap !

There's only ONE one hundred and fifty one percent rum around this thread occasionally
and that's ME

HI MOM

rum
LOL


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:12 PM

that's right! jeez, Rapaire - You know Chongo never likes being compared to BA Louie


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:09 PM

Ooh, better watch out, Rapaire - them's fightin' words!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:05 PM

Wimp chimp Chongo...banana daquiris, huh. Here I thought all along he was a real, two-fisted drinker like Big Ape Louie or even me, if I may be so bold.

Now, if he was downing banana hootch I might think otherwise. THAT stuff'll put a blue whale out in half a minute. Or even if he was drinkin' 151 proof rum with a BD chaser I might think otherwise. But only girly-boys or monkey-chimps drink banana daquiris.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 11:43 AM

Oh no! MMario, you weren't supposed to tell him that. He's going to be SO devastated. Why, he might go on drowning his sorrows in banana daquiris forever!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 11:38 AM

LH - haven't you figured it out yet?

Chongo really isn't one of MOM's kids.

He's . . .




wait for it!























adopted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 11:35 AM

They've all gone off and joined the Hare Krishna. You won't be hearing from them anymore. All except for me and Chongo. We'll drop in now and then so the thread doesn't die out completely.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 11:20 AM

Well I'm back, and I see things have been very quiet around here. Where is everybody? Cup of tea, MOM? I'm having one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 09:38 AM

Barny is currently working as a consultant. He consults on stuff. Like "We've had a consultant in on that problem" and if you hear that you'll know that the consultant is probably Barny.

By the way, "Barney" is a dinosaur. "Barny" got his monniker from, well, even now he sometimes consults by shoveling out barns and that leaves a Certain Odor. Especially when he's consulting on a pig farm, and it's even worse when he's consulting on both a pig AND a chicken farm on the same day.

When he shows up at the Legion Hovel he's always shown to his Special Table, where he can drink beer and kill the skeeters, gnats, no-see-ums, blackflies and horseflies before they bother people. And even though he does show up at least daily, he has enough of a presence to kill the bugs for at least 48 hours after he leaves.

Of course, except for Footsmell Freddy he usually drinks alone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:36 AM

MOM, I have to go out now for a while. Dare I hope that the Prize might still be here when I get back?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:23 AM

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean, Amos. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:13 AM

I don't really envy the hot Texas weather - we get enough of that kind of thing in summer here, but it's been bleak, cool and grey with nasty lazy winds that go through you, and 'scattered showers' for so long, I'm starting to get sick of it. I'd like to see that round yellow thing in the sky again - what's it called? - Oh yes, the SUN.

We did have a day of decent continuous RAIN (which they still call showers), but now it's useless little bits of wet which don't help our dams at all and just get in the way of going outside to do something useful in the garden. Well at least all the little lettuces I planted 10 days ago are loving it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 12:01 AM

Thanks for the invite, Maggie.

Was tempted, Amos. Sorely tempted. Then I saw that hussy in a bar down on the riverfront with Shane, and, well...you can guess at the rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:07 PM

Probably working in a day care center somewhere.

Janie, you want to make a quick trip to visit a Texas Mudcatter, sight unseen, to spend a weekend at a house that is messy with a yard that needs a lot of work? I do a lot of my gardening as therapy, and maybe someone else's weeds would be a nice change of pace? I also have a couple of goofy dogs, goofy cats, and one teen-aged son who is a good kid who spends a lot of time on the computer, practicing his guitars, or watching TV (but school starts next week, so all of that will change.) Grab one of those super duper low weekend flights to DFW. Let me know, we'll work something out. Couple of days in Texas when it's hot will make NC look so nice! :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:03 PM

I knew Reba Hubba. She was a C&W singer, low alto voice, long brown hair, straight and tall and curved, with large green eyes.

We worked a few dives together back in the early days. Last I heard, she'd given up music for Yoga and was teaching breathing exercises, forming quite a little following who looked on her as the manifestation of Divine Exhalation or something like that. They'd stand around in circle sessions making that sound. Rebahubbba. Reeeebahubba. Just like you said. Don't suppose you're a member of her little "Breath is God" outfit?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:56 PM

And where is Barney today?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:25 PM

Well, I'd accept the compliment except it's true. And when the cops searched Barny's cabin they confiscated enough weapons to outfit three SWAT teams, two National Guard companies, and the police force of Humphrey, Idaho. Barny really liked guns. He didn't like bullets because he felt you could get hurt with them -- just guns.

All the other stuff -- the nunchuks, the krisses, the halberds, the bearded axes, and so on and so on -- he said were just souvenirs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:21 PM

Hmmm....

Nothing amusing to say.

But posting here sure beats...
a. working on the the 2006 books to finally get the taxes filed
b. working on the financial statements and affidavits needed to push through with a pre-divorce property settlement,
d. filling out on-line job applications for positions I don't want but might need to consider in light of the continued turmoil in public mental health
e. making a list of all the repairs that need done to the house if I get it and need to put it on the market
f. calling the several people I started gardening work for earlier in the summer to explain that things got weirder at work and I was too busy to get over there and finish what I had started, and also too depressed to call them, but can I have the check for the work I already did anyway and maybe I'll be able to restart and/or finish what was in progress by early July when I pulled a dissapearing act, but maybe not, things are still pretty bizarre

And when I take a moment to realize my belly button truly is not the center of the universe, I know absolutely that all the above is well and truly absolute bullshit so what better place to post it than here.

So let us all focus our minds and meditate on the following:

Ready? Focused?

Nice, slow, natural, belly breathing?

Good. Now, as one, let us say the mantra -

Rebahubber

Again.

Rrreebaahubber.

Ahhhhh.

Much better.

Thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:17 PM

That's really funny, Rapaire. You give good BS,

LH, I love tweaking you and making you produce these long, earnest explanations in your best "honest boyo tells the truth" style. It's a lot more fun than hunting down purloined texts claimed by Rapaire.

A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 09:50 PM

And because they are also bred to dig the badget out, they somewhat dislike having a pedicure.

Sort of like when the cops took away Barny's .44. And his Bowie knife. And his brass knuckles. And his blackjack. And his sap. And his switchblade. And his studded gloves. And his sawed-off shotgun. And his boot knife. And his backup derringer. And his quirt made from a chain saw blade. And his steel-toed caulked boots. In fact, when they finished with him he was stark naked -- they even found the razor blades he had hidden in his toupee. THEN they cuffed him, loaded him into the paddy wagon, and hauled his naked butt off to jail.

Barny still had the last laugh: he gave all six cops one helluva cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 08:22 PM

Huh?

What in the world are you talking about, Amos?

It's no challenge whatsoever for me. I am not the one who'll be clipping the dog's nails.

I have clipped them on a couple of past occasions, with the aid of a muzzle and another person to hold the hysterical dog down. THAT was a challenge, let me tell you! No f*cking joke, even if he is a small dog. It's very hard to clip a dog's nails and not clip one of them too close to the quick and cause bleeding when the clippee is thrashing around like a mad thing. I have decided to let the Vet deal with it hence...because he gets paid to go through that sort of hell. I don't.

This dog does not believe that nail clipping is a good idea, and NO ONE is going to convince him otherwise. You either use brute force (at least 2 persons AND a muzzle required) or you sedate the little monster and do it while he's unconscious.

You don't want to get bitten by a frightened dachshund. They have quite powerful jaws, designed to haul a badger out of his burrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 07:20 PM

I know you are up to this challenge, Little Hawk. Just trust the vet and do as he tells you...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 06:26 PM

I don't have to stoop and scoop. My dog is too lazy to walk far enough to poop on anyone else's property. ;-)

However, I do clean the stuff up anyway. Otherwise the yard gets to be like a minefield after awhile, and that can be pretty annoying.

The little scoundrel is going to get his toenails clipped tomorrow. He hates that! He is convinced that they will do him mortal damage, and he fights for his life. Fortunately, those vets have a muzzle to put on his little jaws, and they know what they're dealing with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 06:16 PM

Granted, he might be a stoop 'n' scoop. Probably is, in fact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 06:16 PM

Peace is a hoser, I've even seen his fire truck and it's got lots of hose on it. LH is just a plain old Canadian, unless he too has a fire truck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 06:11 PM

Oh, all right. I confess, I don't like it all that much either -- I will drink one, and that's it.

My remark was a cultural snark at you, not a genuine directive.

But even though you asked for it, it was not really right to do, so I take it back. You should NOT go have a beer, eh?


Hoser.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 06:07 PM

Me??? Fib????????

Surely you jest? ;-)

No, I really, honestly do not drink beer. I just don't like it. It also leaves me feeling absolutely lousy afterward like I've been mildly poisoned. It feels like I swallowed a garbage dump. Even one bottle of the stuff has that effect on me, so I think it's pretty toxic to my system for some reason.

I tried drinking it when I was in my 20's...cos, hey, everyone else said they liked it, right? Well, my body could handle it okay then, but I honestly never liked it much even then. By the time I hit 40 I discovered that my body didn't like it one bit either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 05:57 PM

I think you are fibbing, eh? Hoser.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 05:23 PM

I love stimulating you into launching into these highly detailed explanations, Amos, and it's a lot more fun than arguing about politics with teribus or pdq.

But...I don't drink beer. Absolutely never. I think it's awful stuff.

I drink water. Or fruit juice.

Shane drinks beer. If you analyze his urine, you will find that it is barely distinguishable from beer, as a matter of fact. Stale beer.

Chongo usually drinks the hard stuff, but he won't refuse a beer if it is offered, specially on a hot day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 05:07 PM

I am sorry to inform you, gentlefolk, that the suffix "-eaux" is formed as the plural of words of Franken descent whose singular is formed "-eau". Thus, more than one beau becomes beaux, a second "chateau" creates "chateaux", and one of many Esquimeaux become Esquimeau.

Other forms of Franken descent of interest might include "incenseau" and its plural "incenseaux", "Myrreau" and the family form "Myrreaux" and "goldeau" and its rarely used plural, "goldeaux". The plural of "steineau" thus becomes "steineaux", a peculiarly Franken construction hardly ever seen outside of Eastern Europe.

Really. Some people need remedial work. Have another beer, there, LH.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 04:51 PM

I just enjoy pestering Amos over his florid style of prose, guys. ;-) Don't read too much into it, okay? I thought of going after him for "Esquimeau" too, but didn't bother. Instead, Rapaire did so for me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 03:34 PM

Ya oughta learn how ta spell "Esquimeaux" correctly. Brindle Bob, the Legion bartender, pointed that out ta me. Of course, "Yupik" or "Inuit" are preferred today.


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